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8-Pack: TrackR Pixels
- You get 8 little digi-coins that’ll help you keep track of stuff.
- The TrackR uses bluetooth, so you can make it ring and flash when you’re within 100 feet, thus locating whatever item you thought was lost forever.
- You can also consult a map of where you last had the TrackR-attached items.
- The TrackR app will tell you when the battery is running low and will let you order a new one… maybe even for free?
- If you can’t find your phone, a TrackR can make it ring.
- Think about it: when we all have TrackRs in the future, everyone is going to be confused by the name of the show Lost, because the concept won’t make sense anymore!
- Need to find a new shirt? Head over to Mediocritee!
- Model: TR4CK-N-Y31LD.
The Key To Finding Your Keys
You’ve showered, shaved, and now you’re on your way out the door for work. Right on time, too. All you need to do is grab your car keys and hit the ro–
Wait, where are your car keys?
No, they’re not in the bowl. Or on the table. Or on the desk. Or in the pants you wore yesterday. Or… anywhere, it seems.
Which is great. Just friggin’ great. Seriously, today of all days. When you promised yourself a stop for some good coffee en route to the office. And also a stop for gas. Forgot about that, didn’t you? And no, you can’t just gas up tomorrow. “I’ll just gas up tomorrow,” is what you’ve told yourself for the past five days and now your car’s so low on fuel it struggles to turn over. Face it: you’re going to be late and under-caffeinated.
And sure, you could drink some of the coffee in the break room… if you want to TORTURE YOURSELF! Ha! Yeah, right! It’s not even coffee, really. A single thimble of half-and-half turns it into a sepia-toned watery milk beverage with a mild coffee aroma.
And that’s even with a full pouch of grounds. But someone–BOB!–has been brewing entire pots using only a half-pouch. You know because you’ve found them, torn open, partially used, and closed with a chip clip. And it’s like, “Uh, Bob you know what: maybe if you don’t like your coffee to taste like coffee, you shouldn’t DRINK COFFEE?!”
You were so enraged by it that when it was your turn to brew a new pot (because you finished the last one [fine, you do drink the break room coffee sometimes]) you put in one of Bob’s half-pouches and a whole-pouch. And honestly, it didn’t taste that bad.
But then you read an article about how coffee affects the heart and you started worrying: could that 1.5 strength cup of coffee KILL Bob? And if it did, would you be tried for MURDER? And if you were would your defense be that you were–
Wait, did you hear that? The ringing noise?
Oh, that’s right! You’ve got a TrackR on your keys, thus allowing you not only see where you last had them on a map using the smartphone app, but also to make them ring when you’re within 100 feet. Looks like you’re still on time after all.
Sorry about that. We really overreacted there.