I always put my keys next to my wallet so I can’t (or am less likely to) drive away without my license/id. The standard spot is on a shelf in the master walk-in closet.
@shahnm Ha ha, well youngster, as men age their prostate expands so urges to pee are stronger and more frequent. Something about coming home triggers that so I have to rush to get to the toilet before things get messy. So the keys end up on the bathroom counter.
/get off my lawn (or, as I like to call it–nature’s urinal)
@shahnm@therealjrn keys are out to open the door. i’m a woman but have definitely thrown the keys on the bathroom counter a number of times. (our bathroom is literally right inside the door.) nothing like being in the car for 2+ hours in traffic and then getting home having to pee real bad and still having to unlock two doors, get up three flights of stairs and unlock a final third door…and hope my partner isn’t in the bathroom already. definitely no time to put keys away lol. sometimes i don’t even shut the apartment door behind me. purse usually ends up on the bathroom floor.
@pooflady hey! Thanks for this comment. I write the polls and definitely deserve to be called out here. Moving forward, I’ll work to include a better range of responses.
Ok, here’s my story. My Dad died just a bit over a year ago. While we were sorting through the house, we found these gorgeous old pieces of wood in the garage:
I’ll snip out a long discussion of what we know about these boards, except that they are at least 50 years old. I was pondering what to do with them, and my Uncle came to mind (not Dad’s brother…Mom’s).
He’s a woodworker, and is pretty talented. He agreed to take the wood on-board and find something to do with it.
Also snipping out a long discussion of what to do with it.
Short answer:
This awesome little table greets me when I come in the door now, where it holds the old 1940’s phone that was at my grandma’s house and my keys. End of story!
@UncleVinny nice table, what a good idea! Do you think the boards had previously been leaves for a table that’s not around anymore? That’s the first thing that came to mind from those pics
When my dad was a young fella in Eugene, Oregon, he had a job at the planing mill, where they were slowly working their way through the old growth Douglas Fir that Oregon had been storing up for hundreds of years.
He was heading off to college soon, and the story seems to be that he used these old planks as bookshelves (with cinder blocks, natch…remember this was 1958 or so) when he went off to college in 1960. He was thrifty and a bit of a never-throw-anything-useful-out kind of fella, so he kept these. In his garage. For decades.
The wood was absolutely gorgeous, and I’m beyond thrilled to have it in an honored place in my life. Super stoked that my uncle was able to make it into something so beautiful. I’m also a bit of a hippie (grew up in Eugene) so I’m sincere about respecting the lives of the trees. They deserved better, but this is a legacy I can feel good about.
I immediately tear through the multiverse, checking my pocket in all the nearest parallel dimensions until I find which one has made off with my keys. Some of my other versions of me have started to remember me, and one saw me coming and hit me with some kind of sonic stun weapon while saying something about not taking his fifth set of keys.
I’ve gotten the keys to some weird shit that way. Also, one time I moved the sofa and found like nineteen sets of keys in the cushions
I try to always hang my keys (that are on a lanyard) on our front door door knob. That way I can literally grab a go! …because I’m always running late to everything… but honestly I do forget to put them on there sometimes and it’s those sometime that I’m getting this doohickey for hope it works.
My car. I’m lucky enough to have a garage and always just leave the keys in the ignition. Of course, being paranoid as I am, I also have a second set attached to a teeny carabiner in my purse.
i don’t ever put keys in my pocket so bit of a moot point from the start. my partner and i share one set of keys so they’re usually with him at work. but if i have them they’re in my purse. at home they go in the key bowl. the only time i’ve ever “lost” my keys was accidentally locking them in the car or the apartment.
The same place on the shelf just inside my door where they always are. They’re the first thing I drop off when I walk in and the last thing I grab on the way out. Outside my place, my vehicle has a keyless ignition, so they’re either in my pocket or the console.
The place I usually put them when they aren’t in my pocket…
@shahnm yeo, next my wallet, ring, and glasses.
I always put my keys next to my wallet so I can’t (or am less likely to) drive away without my license/id. The standard spot is on a shelf in the master walk-in closet.
The bathroom, because I always have to pee when I get home.
@therealjrn You need your keys to pee?
Don’t explain. Please.
I’d rather use my imagination.
@shahnm Ha ha, well youngster, as men age their prostate expands so urges to pee are stronger and more frequent. Something about coming home triggers that so I have to rush to get to the toilet before things get messy. So the keys end up on the bathroom counter.
/get off my lawn (or, as I like to call it–nature’s urinal)
@therealjrn Oh I understand well the aging prostate thing… But the keys? They can stay in the pocket, no?
TBH, my imagination would have been far more exciting…
@shahnm Um, yeah, I guess the keys could go back into my pocket–but by then I’m on a mission and forget all about them in my hand.
Wow, I feel better now already–talking things out IS good therapy!
@therealjrn You might even say it’s key…
@shahnm @therealjrn keys are out to open the door. i’m a woman but have definitely thrown the keys on the bathroom counter a number of times. (our bathroom is literally right inside the door.) nothing like being in the car for 2+ hours in traffic and then getting home having to pee real bad and still having to unlock two doors, get up three flights of stairs and unlock a final third door…and hope my partner isn’t in the bathroom already. definitely no time to put keys away lol. sometimes i don’t even shut the apartment door behind me. purse usually ends up on the bathroom floor.
@jerk_nugget @shahnm
@jerk_nugget @therealjrn
Are you paying attention, Meh?!? This is the new product idea you’ve been waiting for! I call it…
The Speedy Pee-Pee Key Tree
The market for it among Mehtizens seems to be unlimited, and surprisingly less dependent upon the presence of prostates than initially thought…
Purse. That should have been one of the answers. Many of your polls seem to lean towards men.
@pooflady
/image murse
@pooflady
I was going to say
/image sexist pigs
@pooflady hey! Thanks for this comment. I write the polls and definitely deserve to be called out here. Moving forward, I’ll work to include a better range of responses.
@dseanadams @pooflady Wait, you write all the polls? Hmm…that’s interesting.
Dog crate…
Ok, here’s my story. My Dad died just a bit over a year ago. While we were sorting through the house, we found these gorgeous old pieces of wood in the garage:
I’ll snip out a long discussion of what we know about these boards, except that they are at least 50 years old. I was pondering what to do with them, and my Uncle came to mind (not Dad’s brother…Mom’s).
He’s a woodworker, and is pretty talented. He agreed to take the wood on-board and find something to do with it.
Also snipping out a long discussion of what to do with it.
Short answer:
This awesome little table greets me when I come in the door now, where it holds the old 1940’s phone that was at my grandma’s house and my keys. End of story!
DIPLOMAT! RAT-A-TAT! FAT CAT! AWESOME!
@mediocrebot Thank you Mediocrebot. I can always depend on you, your kindness, and your strangeness.
That’s a great story, @UncleVinny
@therealjrn @UncleVinny I agree. And it has far less prostate!
@shahnm @UncleVinny ha ha, good point! As @pooflady noted above, this place is lousy with prostates.
@pooflady @shahnm @therealjrn I have one of those, I just don’t wave it around the forums much
/giphy belly laugh
@pooflady @shahnm @UncleVinny
So what you’re saying is that @threaljrn’s is bigger than yours. TWSS.
@mike808 @pooflady @shahnm I assert no warranty, express or implied.
@UncleVinny nice table, what a good idea! Do you think the boards had previously been leaves for a table that’s not around anymore? That’s the first thing that came to mind from those pics
@moonhat @UncleVinny I too, would like to hear the long story behind the boards.
@moonhat @therealjrn ok! Here’s what the story is.
When my dad was a young fella in Eugene, Oregon, he had a job at the planing mill, where they were slowly working their way through the old growth Douglas Fir that Oregon had been storing up for hundreds of years.
He was heading off to college soon, and the story seems to be that he used these old planks as bookshelves (with cinder blocks, natch…remember this was 1958 or so) when he went off to college in 1960. He was thrifty and a bit of a never-throw-anything-useful-out kind of fella, so he kept these. In his garage. For decades.
The wood was absolutely gorgeous, and I’m beyond thrilled to have it in an honored place in my life. Super stoked that my uncle was able to make it into something so beautiful. I’m also a bit of a hippie (grew up in Eugene) so I’m sincere about respecting the lives of the trees. They deserved better, but this is a legacy I can feel good about.
Duh. My other pocket.
In the ignition
In the same location every day, and the same number of items. Every morning, same place and number in my pocket walking out the door.
Purse. Attached to dog leash. Purse. Archery case.
@inanna And sometimes its not in the purse the first time, but it is the second?
@DrWorm @inanna Definitely. Purses hide things or even eat them, them disgorge them at their convenience.
Within the slot for which needed key doth fit.
Carrollton, TX
I immediately tear through the multiverse, checking my pocket in all the nearest parallel dimensions until I find which one has made off with my keys. Some of my other versions of me have started to remember me, and one saw me coming and hit me with some kind of sonic stun weapon while saying something about not taking his fifth set of keys.
I’ve gotten the keys to some weird shit that way. Also, one time I moved the sofa and found like nineteen sets of keys in the cushions
@djslack If you novelize this anecdote, I’ll buy it and read it with pleasure.
I try to always hang my keys (that are on a lanyard) on our front door door
knob. That way I can literally grab a go! …because I’m always running late to everything… but honestly I do forget to put them on there sometimes and it’s those sometime that I’m getting this doohickey for 
hope it works.
In the front hall, sitting on the cabinet which holds assorted gloves, mittens, hats, and other seasonal related items.
Your mum’s nightstand!
/giphy ooooooooh burn
@medz What was my mum doing driving your car?
My car. I’m lucky enough to have a garage and always just leave the keys in the ignition. Of course, being paranoid as I am, I also have a second set attached to a teeny carabiner in my purse.
on a small carabiner hanging off my purse.
i don’t ever put keys in my pocket so bit of a moot point from the start. my partner and i share one set of keys so they’re usually with him at work. but if i have them they’re in my purse. at home they go in the key bowl. the only time i’ve ever “lost” my keys was accidentally locking them in the car or the apartment.
Depends which set of keys;
If my car keys aren’t in my pocket, they’re on the kitchen counter next to my wallet and cell phone.
If my house keys aren’t in my pocket, they’re hanging from the lock in the front door.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The same place on the shelf just inside my door where they always are. They’re the first thing I drop off when I walk in and the last thing I grab on the way out. Outside my place, my vehicle has a keyless ignition, so they’re either in my pocket or the console.
I’ve never lost my keys.