72-Pack: Solely Organic Fruit Jerky

  • It’s fruit turned to leather
  • The flavors are the ingredients
  • (That means: no weird garbage)
  • Can they make a margarita: No, but if you eat one of these as an afternoon snack instead of a chocolate bar or some chips, you basically earned yourself the reward of a big ol’ marg
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Keep It Simple

The package for each piece of Solely fruit jerky wants you to know one thing: this shit is simple. Like, really simple.

Look at the banana one, for example.

Now, there’s a message here and a subtext.

The message is, “We don’t load our products up with garbage. Our flavors and our list of ingredients are pretty much the exact same thing. There’s fruit and some nuts or whatever and that’s it. No unnecessary, unhealthy bullshit.”

The subtext, on the other hand, is a bit different: “You lazy assholes! You could do this yourself petty easily. Seriously, we’re giving you the fucking recipe right here, and not even in small print on the back of the packaging. No, we’re putting it in big letters right on the front, so every time you crack one of these open, you can know, yes, this is a testament to your pursuit of health even while snacking, but it’s also evidence of your lack of initiative.”

And they’re right, aren’t they? Like, you could invest in a dehydrator. In fact, you might’ve even bought one from this very site. But, then again, you don’t want to plan your munchies a week in advance. So it’s best to buy some good healthy snacks–like good enough to get a rating of 4.5 out of 5 based on over 4,100 Amazon reviews–in bulk for about 80 dollars cheaper than you’ll find them anywhere else.

But please, forget we said any of this next time we sell a dehydrator.

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  • 663 of these.
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  • (including shipping)

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