3-Pack: Unsimply Stitched Men's Dress Socks

  • Three different designs in each pack so you can rock the socks all through a long weekend
  • They say “Men’s socks” but the definition of “Men” is up to you, we’re not about to open that whole can of worms
  • Fits sizes 7-12: you know what they say about guys with feet within the most statistically common size range
  • They’re colorful and patterned in case your browser isn’t loading images
  • The orange and green set with the camo and the elephants are so hideous we’ll give you those for a buck off
  • Model: UNST3PCK (for UNsimply STitched 3-PaCK, makes sense, but it would have been even better if they’d cut out a couple more characters - also a little weird that each 3-pack doesn’t have its own model number, but whatever)
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Free your ankles and your mind will follow.

You’re a pretty vanilla kind of guy. Nothing too flashy or flamboyant. You’ve got your t-shirts and jeans, your sweatpants and hoodies, your polos and khakis, a sober suit or two. Maybe, if you’re in a safe place, you might get mildly wacky with your tie. Your socks come in a narrow palette of muted tones: white, black, maybe gray or navy. Never orange or aqua, and never ever patterned. You’re not some kind of weirdo.

But you’ve noticed the young people in their garish socks. You’ve been dazzled by the colors dancing around their ankles. Maybe late at night, in incognito mode, you’ve furtively browsed sites like Foot Cardigan (who did not make these, BTW, we just like them).

You’ve noticed the socksual revolution happening all around you… and you’ve wondered. Wondered what it would be like to feel so free.

Try it. Now. Why not? Why not now?

These three-packs of Unsimply Stitched men’s dress socks provide a gentle entree into a vivid world beyond your boundaries. They show just a peek, just a flash, just a hint of color and pattern between your pants cuffs and your shoes. Nothing that could get you thrown out of a church or a courtroom. Just enough to declare “My feet don’t follow your rules.”

Be warned, though: once liberation comes to the area below your knee, the rest of your body will want it, too. Who knows where the revolution will go next? Patterned sweaters, maybe. Red jeans. We’re not even ruling out scarves. If you’re brave enough for true freedom, it all starts with the socks.

And you bought...

  • 1967 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $21560 total.

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?