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3-Pack: SmartStand Universal Device Stands

  • Stand-up comedy voice: What’s with phones? They’re all like, ‘I’m gonna lie down for a bit.’
  • Laughter.
  • And I’m like, ‘Why don’t you stand up for a minute so I can see you?’
  • Laughter.
  • So I put it on a SmartStand and it does.
  • Standing ovation.
  • Model: SmartStandTM-[then the color]. An interesting string of letters, but what do they mean?
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The SmartStands' Real Smarts

Ah, SmartStands! In the past we’ve laughed and said, are these really smart? Then we’ve lamented the inherent dumbness of much smart technology and decided that perhaps these SmartStands, by doing something very simple and straightforward and promising nothing more, are the actually the one truly smart product there is.

Today, we’re trying something different. We’re pointing out all the incredible heretofore undiscovered smart features these stands really have! Such as:

  • Instant Surface Analysis: Simply place a SmartStand down and give it three seconds before adding your phone. In that time, the SmartStand’s censors will run a diagnostics test to determine if the surface it’s on is flat and stable. Stan, the non-speaking mime-like digital assistant within it, will then communicate with you through action. If the SmartStand remains standing, Stan has determined the surface to be safe. If Stan makes the SmartStand fall over, he’s telling you that it is either not flat enough, not stable enough, or both. Thanks, Stan!

  • Seamless Transition To Small Decorative Plate Stand: It has happened to everyone; you get a new decorative plate, and you want to set it up somewhere so people can see it right away, but you’re not in the mood to fight the crowds at the mount store. So, do you just give up? Not if you have a SmartStand! Simply replace your cell phone with the decorative plate and the SmartStand will automatically update its internal software to support it!

  • Voice(+Action) Controlled: Want the SmartStand to move from the kitchen table to the coffee table? Simple state your intentions clearly. For example, you could say, “SmartStand, time to move from kitchen table to the coffee table.” This will alert the SmartStand’s internal computer of the upcoming move, so that it’ll be prepared when you walk over, pick it up, and move it your damn self.

See! There’s a lot going on under the surface with these SmartStands. In fact, there’s more than we can even be sure of. So if you know of some smart features that we’re unaware of, definitely let us know in the comments.

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