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3-Pack: Men's Flex Stretch Slim Straight Jeans with 5 Pockets
- Three pairs of jeans in different shades of blue, or all the same shade if you wish
- Fly, belt loops, a hem—all the jeans things
- A little bit stretchy for the all-you-can-eat buffet
- Need 3 belts to go with that? Check out SideDeal
- Can it make a margarita? No, but is acceptable attire for literally anywhere that advertises margaritas.
The Reviews Have Spoken
Different companies play different roles in the global ecosystem of online retail. Some devour everything in their paths, dominating the landscape with two-day shipping and wildly invasive marketing strategies based on your personal user data. Others run a much leaner operation, running charming daily deals and limiting invasive data harvesting to having a sticky note somewhere as a reminder of which forum member can be counted on to clarify the power throughput of cell phone chargers so that we don’t have to. (Electrical math is hard, and weird.)
Given our comparatively limited resources, you can understand why a site like ours would lean on Amazon reviews to provide a sense of product quality for a given deal. But that’s a risky proposition for a scrappy daily deal merchant with insightful wit and a heart of gold.
Because it’s easy to imagine how us quoting a review could lead to you visiting their site. This is a slippery slope.
Yes, our price is probably better.
Except now you’ve entered the mothership and Amazon is going to come at you with all sorts of temptations. Maybe the product costs $2 more, but they also promise that clicking “buy” will instantaneously trigger a perfectly engineered chain reaction of human suffering in which warehouse workers and third-party temps and delivery drivers are digitally horsewhipped by impossible performance metrics in the name of getting some nonsense into your hands with an urgency that would make Paul Revere blush.
So now, instead of just making a dumb purchase on Meh, you’re contributing to the indentured servitude of corporate-sponsored gig culture, advancing global consolidation of the supply chain, and ever-so-gently teeing up the demise of the American family (probably).
Great job.
Well, not this time. Not for Walmart pants.
For this deal, we’re just going to find non-Amazon reviews for unrelated products that happen to provide an apt assessment of today’s offer. Here you go:
“Looked tight at first, but plenty of room once I was inside. Nice comments from ladies but creates no apparent sexual attraction.” — from a Mini Cooper for sale on Craigslist
“A little longer than I expected, but ultimately satisfying. Gave me a tight sensation around the crotch at one point, which was not unwelcome.” — from a 15-year-old review of “Titanic”
“Bought for my son. He’s #TeamLevi but I’m hoping he sees there are other points of view out there.” — from a Goodreads review of Bristol Palin’s autobiography, “The Thrilla From Wasilla”
See? There’s more than one way to get product insights. Regardless, they’re just jeans. Get three pairs and move on with your life.