24-Pack: Eternal Living Solar Pathway Lights

  • Solar powered lights are lights that run on light
  • Waterproof design to withstand the elements
  • It’s easier to see where you’re going when there’s some light versus when there’s not, we’re told
  • Model: PG93944, because they request no one under 93944 use these without parental guidance
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Light To Light Conversion

Of course, there are plenty of things to complain about in winter, but there’s also some good stuff too, right? Like, the delight of waking up early and enjoying a hot cup of coffee in your slippers and flannel pajamas. Or starting a fire in the fireplace to sit next to and read a good book. Or how everyone’s work hours are cut nearly in half.

Oh, wait, you don’t have that? Neither do I. But you know who does?


Like, seriously, who negotiated that contract? “Just sit there, raining down heat and vitamin D, and then, in the winter, take most of the every single day off? Sounds good. Where do I sign?”

And yes, without the sun, there would be no humankind, no animals or vegetation either. And even if we were to magically find some way to survive without its nourishing heat, its absence would still plunge us into a world of maddening perpetual darkness. Which is why we’ve celebrated its giving nature since the dawn of time. Still, nothing should be above criticism, not even the star at the center of our solar system.

So I’ll just come out and say it: the sun is basically the world’s worst drug dealer. It spends all summer getting you hooked on the good stuff, but then, come winter, when you’re willing to pay a primo price for that sweet sweet light, it’s like, “Oh, sorry, bro, my stock is low. Check back in March or something.”

And so what do you do? Maybe you buy one of those happy lamps. Or maybe you make the sun work extra hard during the few hours it is out with these Eternal Living Premium Solar Pathway Lights. All day, they hang out in the sunlight. And then, come night time (i.e. any time after about 3:30 in December) they convert that stored up light-energy to… uhh… well… light. This means you can rest assured that whoever’s making their way up your walkway at night won’t trip and fall and take you to court.

But more importantly: it’s a way of holding the sun accountable. Because if you ask us, that thing has gotten a pass for WAY too long.

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