20-Pack or 50-Pack: LED Fidget Spinners
- Your choice of either 20 (twenty) fidget spinners for $10 or 50 (fifty) fidget spinners for $20. That’s right
- Hand them out as Halloween treats (they’re allergy free!), or jam them in every Christmas stocking you see
- They have LEDs that light up (powered by 3 separate batteries – see writeup for Super Secret Idea)
- There’s even 3 lighting modes, though to be honest, they’re not that different
- These are not the ones that catch on fire, unfortunately
- They’re not the completely crap ones either – they spin for over a minute with a single flick, based on our highly scientific analysis
- You’ll probably get them by Halloween, though we can’t guarantee it. At worst you’re very prepared for next year
- Model: BY-TY-FD-107 (We’re not totally sure, but we’re guessing this stands for “Bet You Thought This Fad Died”)
Spin A While
In April, everyone said we were crazy for not selling fidget spinners. Now, in October, everyone says we’re crazy for selling fidget spinners.
It’s like they don’t understand us at all.
But you do. You know we sell products when their supply is high and demand low, not the other way around. You’ve already started imagining all the dumb shit you could do with 50 fidget spinners — the endless, pointless possibilities that are running through your head, forcing your finger to twitch involuntarily over the “Buy It” button. And you haven’t even dreamed of the Super Secret Idea that we’ll talk about later.
You’ll probably receive these spinners by Halloween*, so you could give them to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Imagine how their eyes will light up when you tell them they can pick either candy corn or a light-up fidget spinner. You’ll unnerve the parents by handing out something other than candy; you might even start your own urban myth about razor blades hidden in fidget spinners. But you’ll be the star of the block for those costumed kids.
And that use of these fidget spinners isn’t even as good as the Super Secret Idea, but we’ll get to that.
If you’re planning to go out on Halloween, you can fashion the coolest costume at the party by covering yourself in dozens (or hundreds) of fidget spinners. That might invite “unwanted touch” from partygoers who can’t help themselves, so we encourage you to place them strategically. And we recommend that you set aside a few extras if you wish to employ the Super Secret Idea.
Should you not receive your shipment by Halloween, or if you’d rather wait, you can stuff every stocking you see in December from your vast trove of spinners, or give them to coworkers to give to their stockinged, fidgety youngsters. Sure, the fad isn’t as hot as it once was, and it’s not likely to get hotter by Christmas, but for less than a buck a pop, who cares? Plus, tell the recipients about the Super Secret Idea (which shall be revealed presently) and they can employ it themselves.
OK, you’ve proven yourself worthy of the Super Secret Idea by reading this far. You’ve proven that your time is basically worthless, which is good, because the Super Secret Idea will require a lot of it with very little payoff:
Each of these fidget spinners has LED lights powered by three separate batteries. The batteries are a popular lithium watch battery, CR2025, which sell for about $0.50 apiece on Amazon. Since we’re selling the spinners themselves for $0.40 apiece, you’d be getting each CR2025 battery for about $0.13 each.
What do you do with 150 watch batteries? You can keep your watch running for longer than you’re likely to live. Or sell them on the button battery market (i.e. eBay). Or revive a dozen dead key fobs. Or hand them out to trick-or-treaters. Oh wait … don’t do that. The point is: This deal isn’t just for a bunch of fidget spinners, it’s also for a whole bunch of tiny batteries.
Yes, buying 50 fidget spinners for no good reason might seem crazy. But we bought way, way, way, way, way more than 50 of them, and our sanity has never been sounder. Don’t worry about about what “society” might “think” or where your “family” might “institutionalize” you. Have some fun!
Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a lot of work to do to get ready to sell these for the next 18 weeks.
*They’ll ship on Monday and delivery takes 4 days on average. But an "average” is not a “certainty.”
