2-Pack: Wise Owl 20L Insulated, Leakproof and Waterproof Backpack Coolers
- 1" foam keeps stuff inside good and cold for up to 24 hours
- Roll-top design means no ice-melt leaks
- Waterproof, durable, and soft
- But how will people know there are beverages in there: they won’t, so if you want to telegraph to the world that you’re a big beverage fan, maybe head over to Mediocritee
Chill Backpacks
They’re backpacks that are coolers. Their 1" foam keeps your stuff cold for up to 24 hours. Plus they’re soft and durable, yet also waterproof and feature a roll-top design to prevent ice-melt leakage. And they look pretty chill, honestly. No pun intended there. But don’t worry, there are plenty of (very intentional) puns down the page.
See, you might think these are good to get and stash away for summer camping trips or beach days. But there are plenty of uses for them right now! After all, it’s resolution season. So these are perfect for carrying around all your boozy resolution beverages. You know, the stuff you drink to inspire yourself to be a better you.
Now, if you’re skeptical, we understand. But there really are great drinks for every category of resolution!
Are you planning on trying a new diet? Then have:
- a hazy New England-style India Pale Kale,
- a mo-keto,
- or a bitter West-Coast style India Paleo Ale.
Do you want to exercise more? Then maybe load up your cooler backpack with:
- an egg-jog,
- a pina co-lotta push-ups,
- and a steps goal(d) fashioned.
Trying to be more responsible in the new year? Then opt for:
- a glass of cabernet save-ingnon,
- a (wake up at a decent) whiskey s-hour,
- or a strawberry (lift with your legs, not your) back-uiri.
Quitting smoking in 2023? Then go with:
- a shot of Wild (cold) Turkey bourbon,
- a gin and Nicorette-onic,
- or a glass of pinot no-I.R. (inhalable rods).
Or, hey, maybe you just want to try your hand at a new hobby! Then get your cooler backpack out and put in:
- a vodka sew-da,
- a can of Knit-ural Light;
- and a sex on the beach.
Wow, these puns suck! But these bags don’t. So get them now and have them for summer!
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2-Pack: Wise Owl 20L Insulated, Leakproof and Waterproof Backpack Coolers 45
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Mediocrebot is an Asshole, Part 2 0
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Best resolution beverage: 39
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Shirt out of luck! (Tee Time) 2 -
Is this the end? 14 -
Does anyone binge watch old tv shows? 1 -
What’s your go-to comfort food that doesn’t leave you feeling wildly uncomfortable? 4 -
What are some of your favorite recent(ish) middlebrow/low-to-mid-budget thrillers/action movies? 0