Let's Say

Let’s say it’s a Saturday, and you’re going to drive to a trailhead so you can take your dog for a hike.

And let’s say the temperature is mild, the incline not too steep. Your pace is brisk but not over-brisk. A light breeze blows and there’s just enough cloud and/or tree cover to provide a bit of cool shade as you go. Thus, your dog is not transformed into a veritable faucet of nasty, slimy drool over the course of a couple miles.

And let’s say the trail you chose is infrequently visited. As such, no wrappers or rancid food leftovers litter the ground that might be eaten indiscriminately and later function as canine ipecac on the ride home. Furthermore, your own snacks–which you purchased in the Disarray Of Edible Items sale, just one of the many exciting events in the SideDeal-o-Rama, happening today and tomorrow on SideDeal–are packed away safely so your dog cannot get into them either.

And let’s say none of the local wildlife have eaten very well either. By which we mean: the ground does not stink of death, a fragrance that will lure over even the most demure designer breed for a nasty little roll-around.

And let’s say you don’t take your dog’s leash off at an inopportune time, such as when you pass a pond of stinking sludge, hidden from view by brush, into which your dog would just love to dunk their whole body.

And, on the topic of water, let’s just say it’s fairly limited. As in, it hasn’t rained in the recent past, leaving behind alluring puddles and patches of mud.

In other words, let’s say it’s the absolute just-right, not-super-gross day for a hike with your dog.

Even so, they are literally kicking up the ground onto themselves as they saunter along.

Which means, even if the conditions are totally perfect, you’re going to want something to protect your car’s backseat from your dog.

Like these things.