Too late It’s over

2-Pack: Intex Explorer 200 Inflatable Boats with Oars and Pump

You know, just in case there’s an emergency landing
Keep all hands and feet inside the boat
Oars go outside
Fits two, if those two are collectively beneath 210 lbs

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We've Created A Monster

Anyone else getting tired of the same old monsters. Dracula? More like Drab-ula! Zombies? A bunch of real zom-bozos! Werewolves? Get-the-hell-outta-here, wolves! Enough with the masked killers using gardening implements, with the typical ghosts and ghouls, and enough with the clowns! No, it’s about time we forge a bold new direction in horror. I’ve even roped in our own resident monster-sculptor @KoolHandJoe for his expert opinions on the matter. Let’s see what we’ve got.

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Everybody laughed at the idea of snakes on a plane. Goofy. Unrealistic. Ridiculous. We’ll see who is laughing when we introduce everyone to the toilet snakes! A small town in the Midwest is suddenly plagued by venomous snakes moving through the plumbing. No one is safe. Everyone is vulnerable when using the toilet or the bath, and children are right to fear the drain. It’s time we exploit that fear.

@KoolHandJoe: “Well thanks now I have a new irrational fear that will haunt me the rest of my life!”