2-Pack: Contour Memory Foam Pillows with Washable Covers
- Memory foam? That rings a bell, doesn’t it?
- Great for spinal alignment
- Honestly, you’re probably already pro- or anti-memory foam, so get these if you want them
- Their motto: “When in foam”
Remember Memory Foam?
“Hey, check it out! Meh has a rad deal on memory foam pillows. It appears they’re great for side sleepers, back sleepers, and stomach sleepers alike. As is made clear on their Amazon page, where a person is shown sleeping on a bed with no sheets and only a towel for a blanket for some reason? Anyway, weird! But they seem good. Want me to order you a pair?”
“Oh, don’t bother. I already have a memory foam pillow. See?”
“Interesting. That doesn’t look like memory foam.”
“That’s because you haven’t pressed it. Go ahead.”
“Okay, but it doesn’t really feel like a memory foam eith–”
Twas a cold night when sweet Angeline told me in a hushed, tear-choked voice that our dreams of a life together, the one we’d imagined since our penniless youth when we lived in tenements across the street from each other, would not come to pass.
“What the hell was that?!”
“A memory! It’s memory foam! You press it and the pillow experiences a memory!”
She said, ‘Frederick, I so wish to carry out our plan to open a horse surgery and haberdashery, but we mustn’t be so youthful and naive.’ I knew something was wrong, though. Angeline did not believe her own bitter words. And soon enough the truth came out.
“Yeah, that’s not usually what memory foam means.”
“What does it usually mean?”
“It’s just a sort of, like, foam that subtly gives way. It’s extremely supportive yet soft, which makes it great for your spinal align–”
‘Oh Frederick,’ Angeline said, ‘forgive me! Papa has promised my hand to another bachelor, Mr. Derrickson.’ I was aghast. ‘The old man who made a fortune running ink factories? But Angeline you’re a vision in white, and I fear your dresses shall always be stained and smudged hereafter.’ And then Angeline began to sob once again. ‘Then it shall match my heart if I cannot be with you, Frederick!’
“Sorry, I thought you said it only experiences a memory when you press down on it.”
“Yeah, this is all one memory.”
“Huh.”
“You know what? Maybe I should get those pillows on Meh. I haven’t slept in weeks.”
“Because your pillow’s so loud?”
“No, because I’m so intrigued to hear what happens next with Angeline and Frederick!”
-
2-Pack: Contour Memory Foam Pillows with Washable Covers 39
-
It's Singin' Cowboy Time: Nog 0
-
I'm a _______ sleeper. 29
-
Gift suggestion for someone with my sense of humor... 7 -
What was your favorite Hell+Bowell product? 17 -
Tesla Owners: Try not to run into a guardrail! 2 -
New year, new goat! (January 2025 goat nominations) 8 -
I thought it was a toilet paper holder. 3