It Holds Shoes

It’s a 4-tier shoe rack. Like, that’s it. It looks pretty cool and can help you organize that pile-o-shoes next to the front door into something neat and orderly. Its dimensions are 25" by 25" by 8" and it can hold between 8 and 12 pairs. Or 16 to 24 total shoes.

Yep. Cool.

Okay, real talk: this one stumped us. What’s there really to say about a shoe rack? Like, we were so desperate, we put the dimensions in the FIRST PARAGRAPH. It’s not that it’s a bad product; quite the opposite actually, it’s such a simple, useful thing that it requires no explanation. And yet, we have to fill this space.

So what did we do? We called in an expert.

Chet Henderson is a high school junior who has maintained a solid B-average in English despite reading just 37% of the required material. Thus, we assigned him to write an essay about today’s product, hoping that he could work his magical ability to stretch nothing into 5 whole paragraphs. And he delivered! Take a look:

Many might believe that this 4-tier rack is a rack for something that is not shoes. But, upon examining the name, the photographs, and the construction, one can conclude that this 4-tier rack is definitely a rack for shoes.

Looking at the name of the product, one sees three words at the end: “4-Tier Shoe Rack.” This indicates that the manufacturer intends this rack to be used for shoes. If the last three words were “4-tier tie rack,” one might interpret it as being a rack for ties. But the word “tie” does not appear. The word “shoe,” on the other hand, does.

Secondly, an examination of the photographs of the product show it holding shoes. Some other photographs show it holding nothing. This may make it seem like it is perhaps built for holding air, or just sitting there like art; air, however, being not solid, does not require a rack. Furthermore, if it were a piece of art, it would be colorful, and also they wouldn’t show pictures of it being used for holding shoes.

Finally, the rack is a solid construction, and shoes are solid objects. If the rack were made of liquid, that would be bad for shoes. Similarly, if the rack were made of gas, that would be bad for shoes, and probably for people. But it is solid, and shoes are intended to be placed on solid surfaces.

In conclusion, while many might believe that this 4-tier rack is a rack for something that is not shoes, after examining the name, the photographs, and the construction, it is clear that this 4-tier rack is definitely a rack for shoes.

Thanks, Chet! You earned yourself another B!

Anyway, buy this rack. It’s good. For shoes.