2-Pack: Axess Sport Bluetooth Earbuds

You get two pairs of wireless earbuds (by “pair” we mean one left ear and one right ear) (by “wireless” we don’t mean the wire connecting the two earbuds in each pair)
Talk or listen or both or neither, what you do with them is your business
Bluetooth v 4.1 is bluer and toothier than previous versions
5 hours of talk time, 120 hours of standby time, but you can forget all that because it’ll tell you on your phone how much power they have left
Model: EPBT101 (Nice little model number, though we can’t help but notice there isn’t an EPBT102)

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Assimilate. Assimilate. Assimilate.

You say you’ll resist. You vow to band together with like-minded rebels and find your own path forward, in defiance of the regime’s edicts. You even threaten to leave the fold entirely.

But you know where this leads in the end. You know you’ll go along with Apple’s Bluetooth headphone mandate.

Maybe you’ll hold out for an iPhone version or two. Maybe you’ll support a Kickstarter for some kind of jimmied-together headphone-jack add-on. Maybe you’ll even price some Android phones, check out the contract implications of a switch. It’s all a charade, a comforting fantasy. Eventually you’ll give in.

You can submit later, under duress, painfully, your spirit shattered after years of futile resistance. Or you, for one, can welcome your new Bluetooth overlords.

Start making your peace with the new normal. These Axess Sport Bluetooth Earbuds boast only two distinguishing characteristics: you can get two pairs of them right now for ten bucks, and they’re fully compliant with the dawning wireless order.

Make it easy on yourself. Click that buy button. Slide them into your ears. Slip gently into the warm bath of compliance. It’s either the Axess Sport Bluetooth Headphones, or cowering before the jackless thugs.

2-Pack: Axess Sport Bluetooth Earbuds

Assimilate. Assimilate. Assimilate.

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