2-for-Tuesday: Duncan Groove Yo-yo Kendama
- You get 2 kendama/yo-yo combos for the price of about 1/2 a normal kendama
- For the uninitiated, kendamas are a Japanese toy that is sweeping America’s youth culture like so many Pokemon or Tamagotchi
- These are made by Duncan, the classic toy manufacturer, who couldn’t help but turn it into a yo-yo
- The perfect Valentine’s gift if you are an idiot
- Model: 3860KE (Although our hope for America’s future fades by the day, it’s good to see that our children are being exposed to high-quality model numbers at an early age)
Dama Drama
We know you’re broke. We know you fear peeking at your credit card statement and beholding what December wrought. We know you told yourself you weren’t going to buy any more worthless crap for at least a month.
But this worthless crap is so, so cheap.
Last time we sold this 2-pack of kendamas for $10 and sold 1,140 of ‘em. Today we’ve hewn our own price in half. We know you’re broke, but c’mon … they’re $5.
In fact, these Duncan Groove kendamas might just pull you out of your January poverty. You could probably turn a quick profit on these by selling them to some dumb neighborhood kids. Think about it — they’re loaded with all that Christmas cash from grandma. They’re the perfect marks.
Or you could learn some kendama tricks yourself and hustle those dumb neighborhood kids. Challenge them to a kendama shokūgekì (battle) and see who can perform the longest moshikame (juggle between cups). They’ll laugh, thinking you an easy mark. But you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank with their granny cash.
Just make sure your dumb opponents don’t include 2016 Gloken Kendama World Cup Winners Nick and Zack Gallagher:
In fact, maybe it would be better to play it safe and use these kendamas to perform a racketeering scheme on those dumb neighborhood kids.
“Would be a pity if anything happened to your sweet new BMX bike, Jonas,” you’ll say, swinging your kendama balls threateningly. “Of course, for a small fee I could make sure nobody harmed it.”
Just make sure your potential victim doesn’t include Max Norcross. That kid doesn’t blink:
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2-for-Tuesday: Duncan Groove Yo-yo Kendama 50
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