Poop Better

The time has come, Meh customers. When we finally say those three magical words, the ones that will take our relationship to another level, not just ecommerce store and consumer anymore, but something more intimate.

And of course, the words we’re talking about are:

“How’s your rectum?”

But seriously, we want to know. How’s it going down there? You feeling good? Fulfilled? When you sit down on the can to do your business, does it seem like you’re ready to clock out afterwards, are does your work come home with you, so to speak?

Because there’s nothing worse than that, right? Getting a chance to finally take a seat on your toilet at home and experiencing incomplete results.

That’s what this thing is for.

According to Tushy, the shape of modern toilets isn’t spectacular for complete bowel evacuation because the sitting position results in a bent rectum. But, luckily, the Ottoman Go “opens your rectal canal from 100 to 120 degrees, improving your bowel health and relieving constipation.”

(Those degrees are the angle kind, mind you. If a thermometer tells you your rectum is 120 degrees, go immediately to the hospital.)

Sounds good, right? But does it actually work?

At first, it was hard to tell. Scrolling through the Amazon reviews (of which there are only about 70) we saw a lot of talk about how sturdy this thing is, how simple it is to assemble (you have to screw on the legs, maybe?), how easy to clean it is, and how it’s helpful if you’ve got kiddos who might need help getting up and situated on the John. But not too many people bragged about the massive shits they were taking with a fully uncoiled route from tummy to toilet bowl.

Until, that is, we got to this one from user Brett Combs:

Before Ottoman Go, I thought my bathroom experiences were okay, but I was living in a fool’s paradise. This Ottoman doesn’t just create a natural pooping position; it’s like a yoga master for your intestines, ensuring a grand opening every morning. Constipation, hemorrhoids, and bloating are now just myths from the ancient times of pre-Ottoman life.

Well done, Brett. Well done.

Of course, if you use this or a product like it let us know how you it works in the comments.

We want to hear about your poop, is what we’re saying.

And if that sounds unappealing, maybe just go straight for the buy button.