6-Pack: Arm & Hammer Power Sheets Laundry Detergent (210 sheets, 420 loads)

$63 6 for $24 save 62%

Our Take

One sheet for normal loads, half-sheet for small loads, two sheets for big and/or particularly gross loads
210 sheets means 420 potential loads
No more big, stupid plastic bottles
Is it available in Georgia Red: No, but it’ll make your various Georgia red shirts look great

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Less Plastic

How to use your Arm & Hammer Power Sheets Laundry Detergent

Open your washing machine.
Toss in an Arm & Hammer Power Sheet (or half of one if it’s a small load, or two if it’s a large/heavily soiled load).
Run your washing machine.
Enjoy clean clothes without any big, bulky plastic bottles.
Dry the clothes in your dryer.
Take the clothes to your bedroom to sort and put away.
Find a shirt you don’t recognize within the clothing: just a plain tee, aquamarine in color, with a label showing nothing but a small logo of a lightbulb.
Try it on.
Find that it fits perfectly; despite its plainness and slightly unusual color, it looks wonderful on you, not just slimming but giving the impression of musculature lurking underneath.
When you hear, “You’re wearing that again?” turn to find someone in the doorway.
Despite the fact that you are unmarried, know deep down that this person is your spouse.
Take the to-go mug and lunch they hand you and leave for work, hurrying through your house (which is not the drab bungalow you did laundry in this morning, but rather a beautifully maintained mid-century ranch) to your car (a luxury sedan rather than an old hatchback).
Allow yourself to be guided by some inner voice towards an office building on the outskirts of town, one you didn’t even realize was there.
Note the sign: wordless, with the same lightbulb logo from your shirt.
Attempt to make it to your desk before being intercepted by your boss; you won’t get there, but it’s important you try, as the ones who report directly to their supervisor show themselves to be too subservient to make any headway in the world of business.
When your boss intercepts you, listen attentively as they tell you the client is in the conference room, and would you mind talking to them?
Meet a man in a beautifully tailored suit.
Fear not when he looks at your simple attire, the t-shirt and a pair of jeans (more expensive than you’ve ever been able to afford before), and mutters something German under his breath.
Say something in German to indicate you understood him despite the fact that earlier today you knew only a single language, English, and you might not even have considered yourself an expert in that.
After you show your fluency and confidence, have a pleasant conversation with the client about his hopes for how your company will serve him.
At the end, shake hands to seal the deal.
Accept the various congratulations and back pats from your coworkers; your work will bring the company a lot of money.
Meet your spouse for a celebratory dinner at a tapas restaurant where you know the chef.
As you walk back to your car, notice a sort of shadow walking down the street, a translucent human-shaped disruption in the air.
As you draw nearer it, make out its features: it’s a coworker of yours, not from the lightbulb logo office but from your other job, the dead-end one you had until you put on the shirt this morning.
Understand that you have traveled, via t-shirt, into a different realm, one just parallel to ours.
Refuse to remove the t-shirt, understanding that it is the only thing tying you to this place where your life is so much better.
Wear it day after day, under sweaters and button-ups, until it eventually gets too gross.
Regretfully, take it off and toss it in the hamper.
Look around yourself: you’re back in the bungalow.
Do your laundry, once again using your Arm & Hammer Power Sheets Laundry Detergent (the only part of this life you can stand).
Sit there in front of your front-loading washing machine, peering through the window, looking for that glint of aquamarine.