Sharper Image by Vornado AXIS 42" Airbar Tower Fan

Our Take

  • A tall, narrow fan
  • Can also be a long, narrow fan if you decide to place it horizontally (legs connect magnetically)
  • Three speeds of airflow
  • Made by Vornado (they’re kinda the fan experts)
  • Is it available in Georgia Red: No, but it’ll be great when that Georgia Red mercury in the thermometer starts to climb, amirite? (Sorry, this one’s really bad)
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The Legend of Slender Fan

Per stories in the newspaper from the time, the Slender Fan created such a perfect breeze for little Jenny’s kite that she did not see what happened below on the beach. Nor did she hear anything over the Slender Fan’s pleasant hum. “I was just up running along the dunes,” she tearfully told police, “and when I decided to come down, the beach was empty. The blankets and the towels and the bags were still there, but no people, none anywhere in sight.”

“My father wasn’t able to watch a baseball game ever again after that day,” Arthur Dalton Jr. said, on the 30th anniversary of the disaster. “When I asked him what happened, all he said was that a soft wind picked up, then it grew slightly stronger, and then it became very strong. As if toggling through three distinct speeds.”

“Have you ever seen a machine-created breeze lift a car on what should be a beautiful summer day at the park,” wrote Gerald Harrington, of the event, in a letter to his sister, “and send it hurtling through the air as onlookers shriek in terror? Because I have. And I’ll never unsee it.”


Important

  • Slender Fan is not real, and cannot be used as a legal defense.
  • Well, it is real, but it’s just a fan, and it’s only, like, three and a half feet tall.
  • Despite images, Slender Fan is not for outdoor use.
  • If it seems like Slender Fan is telling you things, seek psychiatric help.
  • Slender Fan can also be placed horizontally.
  • Photos taken from the Library of Congress free to use collection.

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So far today...

  • 18605 of you visited.
  • 30% on a phone, 2% on a tablet.
  • 926 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 41 of these.
  • There’s still some left.
  • That’s $1925 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?