Well I’ll tell you what I don’t want, I don’t want another pallet of trip glasses. That’s what I don’t want.
I like useful things. Things that are useful to me or that I can give away. Mostly give away. I’ve been able to give away many purses and some insulated jackets to my northern friends. 15-year-old electronics end up going into garbage mostly.
@jouest seriously though, I always thought it would be funny if somehow I received the broken, Puleida 600W/518Wh Portable Power Station that I had to return last year.
@jaybird@jouest Someone got that in an IRK, then I bought it off them; salvaged the 30V battery pack and blew up my kid’s power wheels motors. Fun was had all around. (The Puleida was pulling like 60-100mA at standby/idle, roughly 1-2W, so would kill the battery in about 2 weeks’ time) Battery was fine when disconnected from the rest.
75in 8K OLED TV that doesn’t play audio, and a nice black and white IRK bag.
(I’ve had to replace the mainboard on 3 of my TVs and, for FAR LESS than the price of a new TV, I could make the fix myself and have a ‘like-new’ TV afterward. Getting a broken TV would be a-ok with me.)
The ideal IRK is certainly a letter given pallet of magic. You think it’s this amazing spectacle, this incredible opportunity. But it’s really a cluster fuck, watching people get pallets of peanut butter and jelly spreaders, lefty golf clubs, trip glasses…so much crap. It’s the perfect combination of excitement and eventual regret.
@studerc the letter and subsequent pallet is a true joy. Surprise, then anticipation, then reality crashing in. You get something huge but somehow impractical but above all it’s an experience.
@studerc Take it from me, the letter and follow-up package was a wild ride filled with a huge amount of regret in the end. When the shipping tracking listed the weight at 100+ pounds, I was like a person with a lottery ticket imagining the windfall coming my way. Only to be a windfall of heavy regret - two 50-pound bags of water softener salt pellets! I would only change it slightly, if there was a second time around. This time I would prefer 100 pounds of TV, sectional sofa, or battery powered lawn equipment. Of course, the TV on-screen controls would be stuck in another language. The sofa would be missing one cushion. The lawn equipment - no battery or charger.
Two e-bikes, both returned broken, but with just enough good bits to build one that’s good. Stuffed in the box as packing, 50 TrackRs with dead batteries, a dozen fidget spinners, a women’s puffy coat in my size but a fugly olive color, six Incase laptop protectors, and a mysterious piece of unlabeled computer hardware that the dev team has been desperately trying to find for a week. They offer to give me a guided tour of the warehouse if I’ll drive it back up to Dallas right away. They promise that I won’t be packaged and sent out in somebody else’s IRK
@jouest@Kidsandliz The laptop cases and TrackRs were included to satisfy the requirement that there must be some Regret. I am still trying to find out how to ship TrackRs to Finland without having to incur ridiculous import duties for the electronics. I would love to have a bunch of them get subjected to compression on the hydraulic press channel on YouTube. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would find that very entertaining.
A “Gormet” pallet of consumable products soon to be or past their Best Buy date, so my friends and I can stock our pantries with a cornucopia of tastes.
@lonocat Yeah, swor must be lemon pretzels, and umtami is blueberry pretzels? I’d be willing to give both of them a try.
Unless I’m attaching the labels in the wrong direction. I guess it actually makes more sense if the labels apply to the picture below them. Then chocolate is sweet instead of bitter, but sodas would be salty rather than sour? I dunno.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@jouest@sammydog01 I have a tiny front loader, but it came without a controller or instructions or anything extra. It obviously works because I can turn it on and get it to roar but it won’t do anything else.
@jouest@lonocat@sammydog01 I got a drone many years back. I gave it to the people I was staying with to then give to their son for christmas from Santa.
Now that I’ve had 10 years and 1 hour to think about this, here is my very specific request.
Husqvarna Automower 115H 4G Robotic Lawn Mower with Patented Guidance System, Automatic Lawn Mower with Self Installation and Ultra-Quiet Smart Mowing Technology for Small to Medium Yards.
There has to be some sort of refurb market on these you guys can corner.
Crazy electronics
Party in a (good, drinks, Bluetooth speaker/karaoke, etc)
Socks and underwear
Purses, bags, neoprene sleeves
Knives, speakerdocks, chargers
Kitchen Appliances
Etc, etc, etc
@tinamarie1974 hmm, good question. I would say they should do an irk over on casemates, but the random wine cases I’ve purchased are already filled with regrets.
@OnionSoup I thought the regret is that they would turn out to be actual badgers instead of statues, and they’d be very ornery from being in a box for so long…
Perhaps a bit like
Speakerdocks, external hard drives,32gb usb drives, a pallet of some random stuff from the warehouse like b list Amazon return pallet. Random magic card lot that was found in the corner of some old radio shack meh bought on clearance. Pasta hold the weevils.
If I’m not getting a combo of a brand new custom loaded Mac Air and a brand new custom loaded Mac Mini, then maybe getting a brand new custom loaded, fully operational, Rumpelstiltskin would be entertaining.
What’s my perfect IRK? Something surprising. Something impractical. And incredibly random.
The person that got the Thermomix TM6 recently made me insanely jealous. A Breville Control Freak would be along those same lines. But it’s equally amusing to get a box of completely random objects. Things one didn’t know existed. Or a bunch of strong magnets (though that may be delivered to a rack in the FedEx warehouse, never to be seen again).
A nice new 27" high end computer monitor would be pretty awesome. Dig up some Bubba bottles that I know you’ve had hidden in the back of the warehouse for years. A bunch of XL meh shirts in colors I don’t have. (You’ll just have to peruse my order history to fulfill this one.) May as well throw a bunch of broken ass ceramic Creature Coffee Cup mugs in there for some real regret. Cushion all that with the remaining 78,000 Trackr’s and I think we’re good.
IRK bag in the yellow in the picture
Some just-about-expired perishable somethings
A speaker that may or may not pair with my devices
A knife
The cobwebs from the corner of the warehouse
An amazing coffee cup - which broke in shipping
And the piece d’resistance - a Unicorn, a real, live unicorn (or pony with a horn taped to its head)
A 3D printer with all the necessary supplies and instructions
Meh swag
Schrodingers’ toothbrush swag
Working, small electric bicycle
Remote control for the Laegendary buckster
Expired snacks of various kinds
Broken flower pot
Trip glasses
After moments of thought, one of those carryon size roller suitcases in a horrible color nobody would want to be seen touching. I just took a vacation and this would have come in handy last week so delivery by last Monday would be ideal. No other trips on the horizon so now it would sit and taunt me taking up space. Random offset printed sweat shirts would keep me toasty. Whatever random return fits in the case/bag. I can add it to my pile of “I should fiddle with that and see if I can make it work” pile. The pile needs dusted so maybe a pair of those gloves I saw earlier today would top it off perfect.
Honestly what a great question. As of late all the irks I have gotten have been pretty much just sitting in my garage getting dust because it’s stuff I can’t use so if I were to pick, I guess it would have to be stuff I would actually use like:
a couple of power banks, a king size comforter, some charging cables, and or a power brick, perhaps a luggage bag or a Rolly cart. I’d love if they brought back the Carhartt bags. And possibly a projection projector and screen
New power tools, a new high-end DSLR camera with lenses, tee shirts & meh swag - as some people posted, the bubbas, the Carhartt bags and some good quality pocket knives. Who am I kidding, if it’s not useless crap then it’s not an Irk!
a 2-3 generations-old refurbished prosumer video drone that was cool when it came out and is now meh, spec-wise, because i need something to replace my first generation DJI phantom from meh that i don’t mind crashing into a tree.
Ooh, I’ll play. A nice set of hard anodized pots and pans, one of those massive power banks that was just up a little bit ago, some random clothing item in sizes way too small for me, a broken flower pot and a light up compact mirror.
Well, since my husband recently vacuumed up flour with my shark navigator, that isn’t terribly old, I hope to get a new vacuum. Not one of the stick kinds.
@jouest yeah, I’ve sat and cleaned everything i can figure out to clean on it, washed filters, etc… its like flour gobbed up the motor or something and always sounds like its clogged somewhere, and suction is terrible.
A pallet of tons of different and useful items (I’d even take stuff you were trying to get ride of as long as you gave me some good stuff too) along with meh merchandise, luggage, hand massager, foot massager, food processor random clothing (tee womens L, pants med) good pillows for neck pain, white wine, nice Matress topper for king of qween, leather purse, vacuum. Just some ideas. Maybe a few toddler things
An E-bike that (unexpectedly) works that I use to deliver trackers and hand sanitizer to my neighbors, pretending to take pictures with a broken camera to reminisce over in 2034. And I must have another busted up box with nonfunctioning air purifier so I can dispose of it for Meh. And a margarita. Cheers.
Something cozy.
Something cute.
Something childish.
Something chill.
Something for fitness.
Something 2XL.
An IRK bag with cash in the pocket.
And a pair of Clawz… filled with Quip toothbrushes.
If I were still the goat, I’d invite you to guess which parts are the regretful parts, since I’m sure this crowd would do a good job of purposely getting it all backwards. But having mentioned that, you’ll likely do it anyway.
I’m pretty sure I remember someone telling the bra-too-small-for-wife story. Did it actually show up in an IRK, or he was just worried that it would?
Also, I promise I had already written about Magic cards before @sohmageek mentioned them, but I spent so long writing that I no longer look original.
(same with the “pasta drop” idea)
At least one thing that is nice, unbroken and packed well enough it won’t break per irk box (the era of the bubble wrap multi irk joke was great as I got a really nice thing unbroken whereas some other nice things in other irks I am not sure if they were put in there already broken or broke enroute when Pitney Butthead played drop kick with them with no TX air inside). Limit the straight into the garbage broken/so expired it is useless shit in any individual box instead of getting, like I and others did, several irks where that was, literally, all that was in them. Some literal stuff that goes from the box to the photo to the trash is fine as that is part of the tradition, but not all or most of your irk having just that crap. That is not fine.
Revive the occasional irk that was chosen just for /individualized for someone specific (that would include joke reasons although for all of us to appreciate the joke it has to be for someone likely to post what they got with photos as many don’t post) for a reason based on what was posted in the forums or even no reason in particular (the one I got the year of living in someone’s shed due to not being able to afford both health insurance for my cancers and rent was absolutely appreciated beyond belief as it was individualized for each of my grandkids and was their christmas present from me to them that year.).
Put the occasional weird stuff in there for entertainment value. Years ago you bought a ton of used shirts from a thrift shop and everyone got one. The occasional pallets of stuff a few people got were funny. Sometimes people got something that wasn’t a rerun of unsold stuff on your sites - no idea where that stuff came from but it added hope that not everything was going to be the rejected of the already rejected (or the broken return there of) merchandise from the company’s family of sites.
When you are charging a fortune for them make sure that what is in them justifies that vs the $5 ones (well I guess now $10 ones) were more “crap” is acceptable. Sort of acceptable. You know. Tradition. The odds of people buying the more expensive ones will go up, and/or buying the zillions of dollars of other crap to get one (well presuming net profit, taking into account emptying dumpster fees and disposal of electronic fees) lands/is projected to land where you want it to land).
Having the occasional family of sites discount/worth X dollars coupon in them for at least a few people is nice. Putting cards or notes in there like has been sometimes done in the past adds to the interest and personalization and thus the appreciation of what meh is doing. It removes the feeling that all we are doing is paying for your trash removal. Again making sure that these kinds of things go to the people who post what they get is helpful as that adds to community and community appreciation of what meh is doing that goes “above and beyond”.
Have some special VMP irks - not for members just VMP’s to honor the now, lost to time promise, of life time benefits (and include them on occasion with the ink for irk folks who are VMP as well). Have the occasional kid friendly irks sent to people who win that you know from the forums have kids.
I realize that some of these things are going to take time to implement when you might have to separate where you store pre-packed irks to be able to pull and specifically label some irks for some people vs go down the assembly line and slap on labels. Part of the mostly fallen by the wayside tradition of irks/fukos/fukus includes when this was done in the past. These kinds of traditions build and maintain community, show that meh cares about its customers enough to take the time to do this, it shows us meh invests in the community in ways that shows your appreciation of us and honors traditions developed over time, reinforces the community and adds to the anticipation (with dread of what some of the jokes can be like, for example, one person gets the xbox box and the other person gets the actual xbox), and increases our appreciation of meh for what you do for us.
OK so probably not exactly what you were looking for with respect for specific things to put in irks above and beyond crap that doesn’t sell, broken returns, literal trash… but in my opinion irks are about more than the stuff in the box. They are about community.
New living rural makes getting an IRK improbable, however living rural would have to mean an ideal IRK would include one of the nice power banks, Meh logo swag like notebooks/stickers, I could do without the pixel trackers, but gotta have some regret, OLD raggedy bag found behind the bag storage shelves…you know make it fun.
A pallet of the claw shoes in every size but mine! A mixer but missing the tongs, an IRK bag that’s a perfect size but they stitched it closed so now it’s just an IRK picture, and a kids stuffy that she loves but it plays icky sticky bubble gum all day so I the regret is instant and never ending.
Follow along with me…I’m a huge KISS nerd. I’m a big Meh fan. Since both KISS & Meh like to put their brands on almost anything, why not a co-branded IRK wearing KISS makeup? Even if it’s on a T-shirt (2X please) would be Krazy Kool!!!
An Irk bag, of course. Maybe two?
A peanut butter and jelly spreader. Maybe two?
A knife
A docking station
Some expired food product that I will reluctantly toss out
A few dozen random neoprene covers
And please, oh please, a nice blender
I’m still mad about the first fuku where people got terrible, cheap vintage toys made with probably banned plastics. I did not get a dollhouse furniture or shaving set with 70’s graphics in a cheap blister pack. That’s what I want! Garbage! Salvage! Collectibles without value!
You’ve had 10 years to think about this. No pressure.
Well I’ll tell you what I don’t want, I don’t want another pallet of trip glasses. That’s what I don’t want.
I like useful things. Things that are useful to me or that I can give away. Mostly give away. I’ve been able to give away many purses and some insulated jackets to my northern friends. 15-year-old electronics end up going into garbage mostly.
@jaybird TrackRs are considered a garnish in some countries
@jouest true, but I don’t think they’re 15 years old yet.
@jouest seriously though, I always thought it would be funny if somehow I received the broken, Puleida 600W/518Wh Portable Power Station that I had to return last year.
@jaybird
I never get the purses and I’m a girl.
@jaybird @jouest Someone got that in an IRK, then I bought it off them; salvaged the 30V battery pack and blew up my kid’s power wheels motors. Fun was had all around. (The Puleida was pulling like 60-100mA at standby/idle, roughly 1-2W, so would kill the battery in about 2 weeks’ time) Battery was fine when disconnected from the rest.
75in 8K OLED TV that doesn’t play audio, and a nice black and white IRK bag.
(I’ve had to replace the mainboard on 3 of my TVs and, for FAR LESS than the price of a new TV, I could make the fix myself and have a ‘like-new’ TV afterward. Getting a broken TV would be a-ok with me.)
@ExtraMedium very specific, thank you
@ExtraMedium @jouest Wait what? Employees get irks?
@jouest @Kidsandliz Nope. Never have. Never allowed. But the question didn’t include restrictions.
The ideal IRK is certainly a letter given pallet of magic. You think it’s this amazing spectacle, this incredible opportunity. But it’s really a cluster fuck, watching people get pallets of peanut butter and jelly spreaders, lefty golf clubs, trip glasses…so much crap. It’s the perfect combination of excitement and eventual regret.
@studerc warms our hearts
@studerc the letter and subsequent pallet is a true joy. Surprise, then anticipation, then reality crashing in. You get something huge but somehow impractical but above all it’s an experience.
@djslack @studerc
I want a peanut butter and jelly spreader. I really wasn’t a pallet of useful stuff but I’ll take a peanut butter and jelly spreader.
@studerc Take it from me, the letter and follow-up package was a wild ride filled with a huge amount of regret in the end. When the shipping tracking listed the weight at 100+ pounds, I was like a person with a lottery ticket imagining the windfall coming my way. Only to be a windfall of heavy regret - two 50-pound bags of water softener salt pellets! I would only change it slightly, if there was a second time around. This time I would prefer 100 pounds of TV, sectional sofa, or battery powered lawn equipment. Of course, the TV on-screen controls would be stuck in another language. The sofa would be missing one cushion. The lawn equipment - no battery or charger.
Two e-bikes, both returned broken, but with just enough good bits to build one that’s good. Stuffed in the box as packing, 50 TrackRs with dead batteries, a dozen fidget spinners, a women’s puffy coat in my size but a fugly olive color, six Incase laptop protectors, and a mysterious piece of unlabeled computer hardware that the dev team has been desperately trying to find for a week. They offer to give me a guided tour of the warehouse if I’ll drive it back up to Dallas right away. They promise that I won’t be packaged and sent out in somebody else’s IRK
@werehatrack ^^ understood the assignment
@jouest @werehatrack I have 4 Incase laptop protectors I can give you - no irk required along with 80 or 90 or so trackrs.
@jouest @Kidsandliz The laptop cases and TrackRs were included to satisfy the requirement that there must be some Regret. I am still trying to find out how to ship TrackRs to Finland without having to incur ridiculous import duties for the electronics. I would love to have a bunch of them get subjected to compression on the hydraulic press channel on YouTube. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would find that very entertaining.
I can haz meh catshirts?
@narfcake lolcats are like twice as old as Meh. odd.
@narfcake maybe they’ll send you some more cat food
Is that giant rat still on the wall? That would be awesome to find rolled up in an irk.
DIPLOMAT! RAT-A-TAT! FAT CAT! AWESOME!
I would love one of those RC front loaders you were selling for $119. That’d sure be swell.
Years ago, I received a pallet of faux security cameras. I was stoked until i realized i had to find a home for them.
@capguncowboy tiny landscaping project coming up?
@jouest I’m planning on starting a very small excavation business
A pallet of anything that would make my neighbors say “oh shit”-why would you order that and what are you going to do with it.
@Felton10 so all remaining TrackRs?
HEY GUYS THEY’RE DOWN TO ONE PALLET!!!
Send out five Golden tickets to a Wonka like event at the meh warehouse. Make the winners fill irks.
@jaybird boat tunnel too terrifying
@jouest you just don’t want to expose the irka lirkas that do all the work behind the scenes.
@jaybird @jouest But what if you had a boat tunnel that was just terrifying enough?
A “Gormet” pallet of consumable products soon to be or past their Best Buy date, so my friends and I can stock our pantries with a cornucopia of tastes.
/showme a cornucopia of tastes
@mediocrebot didn’t know SWOR was a taste, but by the picture it looks like the taste of pretzels…
@lonocat Yeah, swor must be lemon pretzels, and umtami is blueberry pretzels? I’d be willing to give both of them a try.
Unless I’m attaching the labels in the wrong direction. I guess it actually makes more sense if the labels apply to the picture below them. Then chocolate is sweet instead of bitter, but sodas would be salty rather than sour? I dunno.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Tiny front loader and a bag. And nothing that has to go to Goodwill. They already look at me funny.
@sammydog01 WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT A TINY FRONT LOADER??
@jouest @sammydog01
I have a tiny front loader, but it came without a controller or instructions or anything extra. It obviously works because I can turn it on and get it to roar but it won’t do anything else.
@jouest @sammydog01 WHO DOESN’T WANT A FUN TOY? Or gadget, I’d even settle for a drone!
@jouest @sammydog01 Don’t send anyone else a front loader. They’re just trying to steal my business ideas. Get your own ideas!
@jouest @Kyeh YOU NEED TO FIND A CONTROLLER FOR IT. RIGHT NOW.
I would also accept a tiny excavator or even a tiny cherry picker.
@jouest @lonocat @sammydog01 I got a drone many years back. I gave it to the people I was staying with to then give to their son for christmas from Santa.
Now that I’ve had 10 years and 1 hour to think about this, here is my very specific request.
Husqvarna Automower 115H 4G Robotic Lawn Mower with Patented Guidance System, Automatic Lawn Mower with Self Installation and Ultra-Quiet Smart Mowing Technology for Small to Medium Yards.
There has to be some sort of refurb market on these you guys can corner.
Edit… And a bag
@jaybird and a bag?? you flew too close to the sun.
@jaybird nice choice!
@jaybird Which part houses the regret? Is it that the guidance system will be faulty and it routinely ruins things?
A theme Irk
Crazy electronics
(good, drinks, Bluetooth speaker/karaoke, etc)
Party in a
Socks and underwear
Purses, bags, neoprene sleeves
Knives, speakerdocks, chargers
Kitchen Appliances
Etc, etc, etc
@tinamarie1974 oh. all the things, then.
@jouest but I didnt say they were all good things…
@tinamarie1974 and a bottle or 2 of wine. Trust me, they know ‘people’.
@jaybird so a seperate wine box or as part of the party in a box?
@tinamarie1974 hmm, good question. I would say they should do an irk over on casemates, but the random wine cases I’ve purchased are already filled with regrets.
Now I want some snacking ramen to test it out. And a bag.
Lots of life-sized concrete Badger statues.
The regret is, it’s a really large box and I hurt my back trying to move it. That… and the Fed Ex guy sues me.
@OnionSoup I thought the regret is that they would turn out to be actual badgers instead of statues, and they’d be very ornery from being in a box for so long…
Perhaps a bit like
Speakerdocks, external hard drives,32gb usb drives, a pallet of some random stuff from the warehouse like b list Amazon return pallet. Random magic card lot that was found in the corner of some old radio shack meh bought on clearance. Pasta hold the weevils.
If I’m not getting a combo of a brand new custom loaded Mac Air and a brand new custom loaded Mac Mini, then maybe getting a brand new custom loaded, fully operational, Rumpelstiltskin would be entertaining.
/giphy Rumpelstiltskin
@f00l Rumpelstiltskin most baffling, and most likely
@joust
indeed.
What’s my perfect IRK? Something surprising. Something impractical. And incredibly random.
The person that got the Thermomix TM6 recently made me insanely jealous. A Breville Control Freak would be along those same lines. But it’s equally amusing to get a box of completely random objects. Things one didn’t know existed. Or a bunch of strong magnets (though that may be delivered to a rack in the FedEx warehouse, never to be seen again).
A nice new 27" high end computer monitor would be pretty awesome. Dig up some Bubba bottles that I know you’ve had hidden in the back of the warehouse for years. A bunch of XL meh shirts in colors I don’t have. (You’ll just have to peruse my order history to fulfill this one.) May as well throw a bunch of broken ass ceramic Creature Coffee Cup mugs in there for some real regret. Cushion all that with the remaining 78,000 Trackr’s and I think we’re good.
POPSOCKETS! ROAD ROCKETS! SONNY CROCKETT! AWESOME!
@cinoclav you can’t have 78,000 TrackRs. If you want that many, you have to take them all.
@jouest Sorry, missed a digit. 478,000 My bad.
A new fancy, schmancy DSLR camera with attachments.
Pool toys.
Movie projector.
@lisaviolet swinging for the fences over here
@jouest It’s my superpower.
@lisaviolet
A new fancy, schmancy DSLR camera with attachment
That would be nice
IRK bag in the yellow in the picture
Some just-about-expired perishable somethings
A speaker that may or may not pair with my devices
A knife
The cobwebs from the corner of the warehouse
An amazing coffee cup - which broke in shipping
And the piece d’resistance - a Unicorn, a real, live unicorn (or pony with a horn taped to its head)
@cbilyak what if the speaker would pair with someone’s device. like a glass slipper, if you will.
@jouest even better!
A 3D printer with all the necessary supplies and instructions
Meh swag
Schrodingers’ toothbrush swag
Working, small electric bicycle
Remote control for the Laegendary buckster
Expired snacks of various kinds
Broken flower pot
Trip glasses
@Kyeh please, please “past the arbitrary best by date,” we don’t use that other word around here
@jouest Sorry, I should have put that in quotes; I’m the one who’s always posting the link to the “Best-by dates are a hoax and you’re dumb to believe them” article!
https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/01/12/food-expiration-dates-hoax/
After moments of thought, one of those carryon size roller suitcases in a horrible color nobody would want to be seen touching. I just took a vacation and this would have come in handy last week so delivery by last Monday would be ideal. No other trips on the horizon so now it would sit and taunt me taking up space. Random offset printed sweat shirts would keep me toasty. Whatever random return fits in the case/bag. I can add it to my pile of “I should fiddle with that and see if I can make it work” pile. The pile needs dusted so maybe a pair of those gloves I saw earlier today would top it off perfect.
Honestly what a great question. As of late all the irks I have gotten have been pretty much just sitting in my garage getting dust because it’s stuff I can’t use so if I were to pick, I guess it would have to be stuff I would actually use like:
a couple of power banks, a king size comforter, some charging cables, and or a power brick, perhaps a luggage bag or a Rolly cart. I’d love if they brought back the Carhartt bags. And possibly a projection projector and screen
A pallet of completely obsolete Martian watches. And a gazebo.
(I’ve gotten some really good IRKs, with only a little regret and some nice items, so this is a challenge to improve upon.)
@brainmist gazebo is wild
New power tools, a new high-end DSLR camera with lenses, tee shirts & meh swag - as some people posted, the bubbas, the Carhartt bags and some good quality pocket knives. Who am I kidding, if it’s not useless crap then it’s not an Irk!
@sassymango Carhartts don’t arrive until the hipster bubble bursts
a 2-3 generations-old refurbished prosumer video drone that was cool when it came out and is now meh, spec-wise, because i need something to replace my first generation DJI phantom from meh that i don’t mind crashing into a tree.
and if it comes with its carrying capacity of kindle sleeves and fused ginger chews that’s a bonus.
@zippyus wait until we get the ginger chew defusers in stock
Ooh, I’ll play. A nice set of hard anodized pots and pans, one of those massive power banks that was just up a little bit ago, some random clothing item in sizes way too small for me, a broken flower pot and a light up compact mirror.
@Pony heavenly
we’re moving in a few days, so my current ideal irk would have a cleaning crew so we don’t have to clean the place we just moved out of.
other than that, a big green egg smoker and some ego power+ yard tools
@carl669 you’re thinking of a genie. wishes come from genies.
I’m pretty hungry, so maybe a bunch of pasta.
@zhicks1987 outrageous.
Well, since my husband recently vacuumed up flour with my shark navigator, that isn’t terribly old, I hope to get a new vacuum. Not one of the stick kinds.
@jnicholson0619 does flour murder the vacuum?? (It seems like we should know this…)
@jouest yeah, I’ve sat and cleaned everything i can figure out to clean on it, washed filters, etc… its like flour gobbed up the motor or something and always sounds like its clogged somewhere, and suction is terrible.
Ninja NeverStick™ Premium Cookware Set, maybe a vacuum, nice air purifer possibly. Mainly the cookware set and some jazzy Meh merch
I’d love a nice set of cookware, a shirt, some IRK merch, and a Meh bag.
Cookware, meh bag, parts for something obsolete last sold 3 years ago, biscotti or stroop waffles, and screen protector for iPhone 6.
/showme cash basket
The regret is when you realize it’s millions of Zimbabwean dollars.
Some rejoicing, some regret.
Suck it up, you get what you get.
@GenWithaG123 Like we tell the 2nd graders, “You get what you get, and don’t throw a fit.”
Cuisinart ice cream maker (with compressor), shiatsu calf and foot massager, a couple fun t-shirts and socks, pink IRK bag.
perfection.
… also, cash… like others have mentioned, a box full of cash would also be perfect.
You’ve heard of a game day jersey? I want a warehouse used pen/sharpie in my IRK. Or mostly used office used sticky notes.
A pallet of tons of different and useful items (I’d even take stuff you were trying to get ride of as long as you gave me some good stuff too) along with meh merchandise, luggage, hand massager, foot massager, food processor random clothing (tee womens L, pants med) good pillows for neck pain, white wine, nice Matress topper for king of qween, leather purse, vacuum. Just some ideas. Maybe a few toddler things
Stainless steel cookware set with a side of flatware, an orange puffy coat with the pockets stuffed with trackers (no reason)and some fluffy socks.
An E-bike that (unexpectedly) works that I use to deliver trackers and hand sanitizer to my neighbors, pretending to take pictures with a broken camera to reminisce over in 2034. And I must have another busted up box with nonfunctioning air purifier so I can dispose of it for Meh. And a margarita. Cheers.
Something cozy.
Something cute.
Something childish.
Something chill.
Something for fitness.
Something 2XL.
An IRK bag with cash in the pocket.
And a pair of Clawz… filled with Quip toothbrushes.
#FairyIrkMeh-ther
Hmm… things I would want/like, but also regret…
Well, here is a list to choose from (in no particular order) — any combination of:
ExtraMedium’s broken TV idea (or similarly, a computer monitor){political figure}'s face on them (or something like neonazi symbology)If I were still the goat, I’d invite you to guess which parts are the regretful parts, since I’m sure this crowd would do a good job of purposely getting it all backwards. But having mentioned that, you’ll likely do it anyway.
I’m pretty sure I remember someone telling the bra-too-small-for-wife story. Did it actually show up in an IRK, or he was just worried that it would?
Also, I promise I had already written about Magic cards before @sohmageek mentioned them, but I spent so long writing that I no longer look original.
(same with the “pasta drop” idea)
At least one thing that is nice, unbroken and packed well enough it won’t break per irk box (the era of the bubble wrap multi irk joke was great as I got a really nice thing unbroken whereas some other nice things in other irks I am not sure if they were put in there already broken or broke enroute when Pitney Butthead played drop kick with them with no TX air inside). Limit the straight into the garbage broken/so expired it is useless shit in any individual box instead of getting, like I and others did, several irks where that was, literally, all that was in them. Some literal stuff that goes from the box to the photo to the trash is fine as that is part of the tradition, but not all or most of your irk having just that crap. That is not fine.
Revive the occasional irk that was chosen just for /individualized for someone specific (that would include joke reasons although for all of us to appreciate the joke it has to be for someone likely to post what they got with photos as many don’t post) for a reason based on what was posted in the forums or even no reason in particular (the one I got the year of living in someone’s shed due to not being able to afford both health insurance for my cancers and rent was absolutely appreciated beyond belief as it was individualized for each of my grandkids and was their christmas present from me to them that year.).
Put the occasional weird stuff in there for entertainment value. Years ago you bought a ton of used shirts from a thrift shop and everyone got one. The occasional pallets of stuff a few people got were funny. Sometimes people got something that wasn’t a rerun of unsold stuff on your sites - no idea where that stuff came from but it added hope that not everything was going to be the rejected of the already rejected (or the broken return there of) merchandise from the company’s family of sites.
When you are charging a fortune for them make sure that what is in them justifies that vs the $5 ones (well I guess now $10 ones) were more “crap” is acceptable. Sort of acceptable. You know. Tradition. The odds of people buying the more expensive ones will go up, and/or buying the zillions of dollars of other crap to get one (well presuming net profit, taking into account emptying dumpster fees and disposal of electronic fees) lands/is projected to land where you want it to land).
Having the occasional family of sites discount/worth X dollars coupon in them for at least a few people is nice. Putting cards or notes in there like has been sometimes done in the past adds to the interest and personalization and thus the appreciation of what meh is doing. It removes the feeling that all we are doing is paying for your trash removal. Again making sure that these kinds of things go to the people who post what they get is helpful as that adds to community and community appreciation of what meh is doing that goes “above and beyond”.
Have some special VMP irks - not for members just VMP’s to honor the now, lost to time promise, of life time benefits (and include them on occasion with the ink for irk folks who are VMP as well). Have the occasional kid friendly irks sent to people who win that you know from the forums have kids.
I realize that some of these things are going to take time to implement when you might have to separate where you store pre-packed irks to be able to pull and specifically label some irks for some people vs go down the assembly line and slap on labels. Part of the mostly fallen by the wayside tradition of irks/fukos/fukus includes when this was done in the past. These kinds of traditions build and maintain community, show that meh cares about its customers enough to take the time to do this, it shows us meh invests in the community in ways that shows your appreciation of us and honors traditions developed over time, reinforces the community and adds to the anticipation (with dread of what some of the jokes can be
like, for example, one person gets the xbox box and the other person gets the actual xbox), and increases our appreciation of meh for what you do for us.
OK so probably not exactly what you were looking for with respect for specific things to put in irks above and beyond crap that doesn’t sell, broken returns, literal trash… but in my opinion irks are about more than the stuff in the box. They are about community.
New living rural makes getting an IRK improbable, however living rural would have to mean an ideal IRK would include one of the nice power banks, Meh logo swag like notebooks/stickers, I could do without the pixel trackers, but gotta have some regret, OLD raggedy bag found behind the bag storage shelves…you know make it fun.
An IRK bag full of just the IRK bags… and some of the older style Fukubukuro bags (if you had any left)
I love me some re-usable shopping bags, but I probably already have too many, and have no clue where I’d store them if there were a LOT of them.
@jannyblue plastic grocery bag full of plastic grocery bags for a new generation.
@jouest True! But probably better for the sea turtles.
@jannyblue I did this for the Meh Christmas exchange 2 years ago, packed up every meh bag I had…and a few other things for my receiver.
A pallet of the claw shoes in every size but mine! A mixer but missing the tongs, an IRK bag that’s a perfect size but they stitched it closed so now it’s just an IRK picture, and a kids stuffy that she loves but it plays icky sticky bubble gum all day so I the regret is instant and never ending.
Follow along with me…I’m a huge KISS nerd. I’m a big Meh fan. Since both KISS & Meh like to put their brands on almost anything, why not a co-branded IRK wearing KISS makeup? Even if it’s on a T-shirt (2X please) would be Krazy Kool!!!
@tohar1 cobranded plastic lunchbox or no deal
@jouest DEAL!!!
A Day Zero Meh Shirt in 2XL, As well as a few other unique styles of the “classic” Meh shirts.
An Irk bag, of course. Maybe two?
A peanut butter and jelly spreader. Maybe two?
A knife
A docking station
Some expired food product that I will reluctantly toss out
A few dozen random neoprene covers
And please, oh please, a nice blender
An IRK full of Irks! Or random Meh branded merch I can foist off an co-workers. And of course Irk bags. One of every color for the collection.
I’m still mad about the first fuku where people got terrible, cheap vintage toys made with probably banned plastics. I did not get a dollhouse furniture or shaving set with 70’s graphics in a cheap blister pack. That’s what I want! Garbage! Salvage! Collectibles without value!
@mossygreen can’t lose ‘em all
@jouest Says you.
Something I really want, but with some regrets?
Meh is selling me my youth?!
A bag with 1 of every MEH themed item including a random sized shirt in random color.