Xi'an, China - new discovery makes people go, hmm...

a very strange and exciting discovery was made at the terra cotta warriors excavation site earlier today. in what the lead archaeologist termed as a “what the fuck moment”, an excavation team uncovered a very curious artifact. a high ranking government official was quoted as saying, “we don’t really know what to make of this at the moment, but it could have a tremendous impact on how we view the connection between the [terra cotta] warriors and the first dynasty.”

when asked to elaborate, the official merely said, “just take a fucking look for yourselves”.

confused reporters were led down a narrow hallway, passing many statues in various states of restoration. after winding through several corridors, the official came to a door with no markings.

“this door leads to an alleyway which is completely hidden from the public. the level of preservation on this statute is beyond anything we’ve ever seen. also, instead of a weapon, it was found holding a strange book. our translators have only managed to partially translate the title. so far, we believe the book is called the ‘mehcron’. while we have not deciphered the verses, each passage ends with the phrase, ‘so say we all’”.

“we may never understand the full complexity of this book, but we believe it to be vital to human existence in the future.”

“what are you calling this discovery?” asked one reporter.

“while there is no official name yet, it’s being referred to as, Terra Cotta Carl.”