So my little mehrican decided to only nap for 15 minutes today. Consequently I did something I never dreamt I would do. While preparing dinner I tried to peel my peeler with a carrot. Time for a beer and a nap.
I had a beer and a nap, but Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 decided it was a day to make Daddy's hair turn more gray and some of it to fall out. I think it retreated to my back. Le sigh.
@cinoclav Luckily no, and it seemed a lot funnier to me last night. I'm reminded of when Seinfeld thought his dream was so funny but it was "Flaming globes of Sigmund"
@MEHcus Well then, how about northern North Dakota? You can then find out why there is hardly anyone from there on here… and tell them they are falling down on their buying job and the meh map is suffering; it is all on them.
@Kidsandliz@MEHcus True story, one of my previous jobs involved being warehouse manager for a medical device company. We had a stack of hospital bed mattresses in one corner of the warehouse. Our UPS pickup driver used to come take naps on the pile of mattresses in the afternoon.
My cute little 45 year old was visiting Feb 18th, when he found out his wife had tapped out all the savings, ran up a ginormous debt, and cheated on him. Now he's moved into my guest room. Kids, they do the darnedest things!
@Teripie Awww those 45 year olds. So precocious. You might not appreciate it now, but one day he's going to grow up, then you'll miss all those little things he did as a 45 year old.
@mitchkramez I've been very open about my geezer-ness. My biggest regret here is that I no longer to seem to have my Bugs Bunny razor wit anymore. It's more Elmer Fudd these days.
@Teripie Damn. I'm sorry your daughter-in-law turned out to be a lying, stealing, cheating, skank. I hope your son bounces back and finds a good woman (and isn't in your spare room too long). Also, I hope he doesn't end up on the hook for all that debt. What a bitch.
Today is the first day of Spring Break, so of course, my seven year old has a fever and my nine year old is losing her fight against allergies. I'm hiding in my room with the laptop while they watch Minecraft Youtube videos in the living room.
after a couple particularly bad nights of almost no sleep, i finally got the boy to sleep downstairs on the couch. at some point, i put him down on the floor and i just fell asleep on the couch sitting up. the problem is, i forgot i put him on the floor. i woke up suddenly and thought i'd somehow dropped him. so i jump off the couch, stumble a bit, catch myself and scoop him up. after doing the obligatory check to make sure he was still breathing, i look down and see blood on the carpet.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" i'm desperately checking him everywhere for signs of blood and can't find anything. i check his back, his head, his ears, arms, legs, everything, and i can't find a damn thing. at this point, i'm freaking out. my wife is upstairs and i'm getting ready to call 911. then, i looked at my foot. my toe was covered in blood. i'm thinking "how the hell did he bleed on me and i can't find any wounds??" it's about this time that i realize the blood is coming from my toenail. i look around and see blood all over the carpet as well. our fireplace is surrounded by brick.
i think, in my frenzy to pick him up, i banged my toe against it and ripped off my nail. so, the boy was just fine and slept for another 2 hours. me, i spent the next 20 minutes trying to get my heart rate back to normal. and then, the next 30-40 minutes getting the blood out of the carpet.
@carl669 that is an amazing tale of woe. Glad to hear the boy is fine. Sorry about the toe. Were you successful in getting the blood out of the carpet?
@carl669 for future reference, hydrogen peroxide is excellent at removing fresh blood stains, pour some on and brush it around...magically disappears. Not sure you'd want to know how I learned that...
I once fell asleep while putting the kid to sleep. My wife nudged me to ask if I brushed already, but instead I jumped up and rushed the kid to the potty... (He was having a lot of night accidents)
I had to read that 3 times to figure out what the problem was. I too need a beer and a nap.
I had a beer and a nap, but Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 decided it was a day to make Daddy's hair turn more gray and some of it to fall out. I think it retreated to my back. Le sigh.
So how old are these three things of yours?
@Kidsandliz 9, 4, 13 months.
@xarous Definition of insanity: Having three children and not one of them is old enough to babysit.
@Kidsandliz I second that. I'm worn out just thinking about it.
I was totally expecting that to turn into, "I tried to peel my finger with the peeler," and end with a trip to the ER.
@cinoclav Luckily no, and it seemed a lot funnier to me last night. I'm reminded of when Seinfeld thought his dream was so funny but it was "Flaming globes of Sigmund"
Oh yea? Well I stayed up too late watching TV and now I'm sleepy. Try topping that one.
@MEHcus Does your child count top @xarous's?
@MEHcus Solution - go to the warehouse. Find a big box. Climb inside and nap. With luck you will wake up in Hawaii instead of the dumpster.
@Kidsandliz Yes it does. My child count is zero. Zero children always wins out.
@Kidsandliz Oh, and we don't ship to Hawaii
@MEHcus Well then, how about northern North Dakota? You can then find out why there is hardly anyone from there on here… and tell them they are falling down on their buying job and the meh map is suffering; it is all on them.
@Kidsandliz @MEHcus True story, one of my previous jobs involved being warehouse manager for a medical device company. We had a stack of hospital bed mattresses in one corner of the warehouse. Our UPS pickup driver used to come take naps on the pile of mattresses in the afternoon.
@Bingo Did I mention that I once got canned from my gig as a UPS driver for sleeping on the job at some random medical device companies warehouse?
@Bingo That's hilarious! It must have been @MEHcus
My cute little 45 year old was visiting Feb 18th, when he found out his wife had tapped out all the savings, ran up a ginormous debt, and cheated on him. Now he's moved into my guest room.
Kids, they do the darnedest things!
@Teripie Awww those 45 year olds. So precocious. You might not appreciate it now, but one day he's going to grow up, then you'll miss all those little things he did as a 45 year old.
@Teripie I think it's awesome that you have a 45 year old kid, and here you are on the MEH forums of all places. I admire you.
@mitchkramez I've been very open about my geezer-ness. My biggest regret here is that I no longer to seem to have my Bugs Bunny razor wit anymore. It's more Elmer Fudd these days.
@Teripie Damn. I'm sorry your daughter-in-law turned out to be a lying, stealing, cheating, skank. I hope your son bounces back and finds a good woman (and isn't in your spare room too long). Also, I hope he doesn't end up on the hook for all that debt. What a bitch.
@Teripie Poor guy! It's great of you to take him. Mom's are the best!
@Teripie I think you mean 540 month old
@Teripie I have one of those, but it was a 38 year old and fortunately he only stayed a few months and they patched it up.
Today is the first day of Spring Break, so of course, my seven year old has a fever and my nine year old is losing her fight against allergies. I'm hiding in my room with the laptop while they watch Minecraft Youtube videos in the living room.
@PurplePawprints Activate invisibility cloak.
My brother was so sleep deprived he ate his dog's vitamin by mistake :)
after a couple particularly bad nights of almost no sleep, i finally got the boy to sleep downstairs on the couch. at some point, i put him down on the floor and i just fell asleep on the couch sitting up. the problem is, i forgot i put him on the floor. i woke up suddenly and thought i'd somehow dropped him. so i jump off the couch, stumble a bit, catch myself and scoop him up. after doing the obligatory check to make sure he was still breathing, i look down and see blood on the carpet.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" i'm desperately checking him everywhere for signs of blood and can't find anything. i check his back, his head, his ears, arms, legs, everything, and i can't find a damn thing. at this point, i'm freaking out. my wife is upstairs and i'm getting ready to call 911. then, i looked at my foot. my toe was covered in blood. i'm thinking "how the hell did he bleed on me and i can't find any wounds??" it's about this time that i realize the blood is coming from my toenail. i look around and see blood all over the carpet as well. our fireplace is surrounded by brick.
i think, in my frenzy to pick him up, i banged my toe against it and ripped off my nail. so, the boy was just fine and slept for another 2 hours. me, i spent the next 20 minutes trying to get my heart rate back to normal. and then, the next 30-40 minutes getting the blood out of the carpet.
tl;dr - sleep deprivation sucks
@carl669 ooooooh! Better blame that on the goat! Oh, wait...
@carl669 Ow. ow. ow. ow. Glad your kid was okay. Sorry about your toe. You're really beating yourself up over this whole scapegoat thing, aren't you?
Holy Crap @carl669
@carl669 that is an amazing tale of woe. Glad to hear the boy is fine. Sorry about the toe. Were you successful in getting the blood out of the carpet?
@kanzatonian all except one spot. that spot has faded quite a bit now though and just looks like someone spilled a bit of wine or something.
@carl669 for future reference, hydrogen peroxide is excellent at removing fresh blood stains, pour some on and brush it around...magically disappears. Not sure you'd want to know how I learned that...
@Odi oh man...where were you 2 years ago?? i blame myself for not knowing you. damn you me!!!!
Kids: you can't live without them and you can't hunt down their skanky wife and beat the living crap out of her.
I once fell asleep while putting the kid to sleep. My wife nudged me to ask if I brushed already, but instead I jumped up and rushed the kid to the potty... (He was having a lot of night accidents)