Two truths and a lie (Staff edition)

I was the captain of my high school golf team.

I’m allergic to oysters.

I hate fireworks.

@hollboll OHHHHHHH I KNOW THIS ONE!!!!! I guess that means I shouldn't cast my vote.....rats, I really like winning.

@hollboll I'm guessing the lie is the one about hating fireworks. cause I simply refuse to believe that it could be possible for any red-blooded American to not like fireworks.

@Turken I've had suspicions about @chadp's blood actually being more of a taupe color for awhile now

@Moose

Have you tried the Scientific Method on @chadp? You seem to have completed the first 3 steps.

@hollboll
Hating fireworks is not possible in this universe. Ergo, a lie.

@Turken what if he's not American? everyone knows the name Chad is derived from the Indian (asian) name Chaarudatt, which means "born of beauty". so, i'm guessing @chadp is Indian.

side note: i initially read the first one as "i was captain of my high school gif team" and immediately thought @medz should totally be the coach.

@f00l I don't like fireworks... They scare me.

@Barney Thanks for speaking up, purple friend. I'm increasingly bored of fireworks, but it completely makes sense that some wouldn't like them. I changed my vote because of all of the nonsense by people denying the possibility (even though I know it was partly in jest).

@Barney
No argument. I hope you get to enjoy fireworks on TV and film then.

@joelmw
I agree the fireworks are overused and can be boring esp if you are a captive spectator. My fav fireworks happen when i am doing something i like on the porch, and watching fireworks in the distance.

@Barney Even PURPLE fireworks? :-(

@f00l Perhaps I should by a pair of Meh's ubiquitous headphones and smother the noise.

@ruouttaurmind Aww, pretty purple. I love purple.

@hollboll I bet it's the Allergies... cause who actually is allergic to them... (My family is)

@Barney @turken My dog (Murphy) hates explosions of all kinds.

@sligett Yeah, I also have a dog that hates that kind of noise. Especially thunderstorms. Hmm, maybe I should buy her some headphones, too.

@Barney @turken @sligett this one from the oatmeal pretty much sums up my dog's view of fireworks. (although, he seems to be fine with thunderstorms)

@Barney I love purple, too! :)

@juststephen Hi Stephen!

@sligett My sister had a cocker spaniel who would go try to bite the lit fireworks!!! We got it on video, I'll have to try to find it... quite amusing :)

I was once told that I would be dead within the hour by a doctor

My shoe size went with my age until I was 15

I am adopted

@hollboll Edit: Oops, didn't read rules.

@hollboll
Was the "dead within an hour" followed pr preceded by a (possibly implied) "if" or "unless"?

If the "dead within an hour" was an absolute prediction, then i vote that's the lie.

@f00l dunno. You could ask @mehcus, but he doesn't have to answer that. :)

@hollboll ok... it's hard to joke with answers like this... I mean, I think he has rather large feet... and who hasn't been told they will be dead within a certain number of time... usually longer than an hour... But Being an orphan isn't a joking matter... So... I'd say the orphan Because it's not a joking matter.

@hollboll I find it hard to believe a 14 year old would wear size 14 shoes. Possible but unlikely. Then, when you're 2, you don't wear size 2, it would be from 5 or greater.

@cengland0 i believe @mehcus thinks it's true

@cengland0 I can say I was in a 14 when I was 14. From age 10 to 14 it was a shoe size a year

@kemper45 That's more likely because each shoe size up is really only about 1/4" difference. Some people think a size 12 is a 12" shoe but that is not how the sizes work.

Still, if you're wearing a size 14 shoe at age 14, you are probably a very tall person. I would estimate that you were 6 foot 3" at age 14. Am I right?

@cengland0 spot on. And that's where I stopped

I have three tattoos: two are Star Wars-themed and one that’s @matthew’s former band's logo.

I wrote & published a punk zine called Shoddy Goods with @jasontoon.

I hitchhiked across the US for half a year.

@hollboll
I suspect tattoos yes, but three tatts as decribed, false.

@f00l I dunno... I could totally see someone like dave getting multiple star wars tattoos. Who wouldn't want to have a death star on their butt cheek ("That's no moon!") or a lightsaber... elsewhere... you know, so you can justify making those zhoon-zhoon noises while doing your business at the urinal. Right?

@hollboll I think I ruled out one answer with some Google-fu. The others are tricky though...

@hollboll It's weird that I could see all of those being true...

@dave @matthew What, you didn't want this lovely picture as a tattoo?

@darksaber99999 Boom, sucka. https://meh.com/forum/topics/two-truths-and-a-lie-staff-edition-answers

@hollboll

I have an imaginary dog.

I applied for the reality show called 90-day fiancé on TLC but didn't hear back.

I failed my driving test three times before I got the license.

@hollboll

I would say it took her either two or four attempts to get her license.

@hollboll Totally the dog... the rest are too believable ;)

Who doesn't have an imaginary dog? How else do you keep the imaginary goats from wandering?

@hollboll Which driving test? The written or the physical driving part?

Waiting for the first person to visit the asian driver stereotype... (Well, guess it's me.)

@cengland0 the physical driving part

@cinoclav I was just scrolling for 'truth because Asian'. You and me, I guess..

@marklog @cinoclav I should've had a better driving instructor like Conan....

@sohmageek mine'll be up there later, don't worry! :) @dstanley never sent me his, but maybe I'll try to track him down later.

I went to the same junior high and/or high school that some of The Fray went to.

I went to the same junior high and/or high school that Hurricane Chris went to.

I went to the same junior high and/or high school that Baby Jessica went to.

I've only ever heard of one of these....

@PurplePawprints That's one more than me.

didn't @moose date Baby Jessica for a while in juior high and/or high school?

@moose Who are they? Oh Apparently they did How to save a life... but other than that... Who's Hurrican Chris... sounds like a Mixed drink...

This reminds me of the street we lived on when we were first married. Two houses down from us lived Elizabeth Taylor. Across the street was Robert E. Lee. Roger Smith (Ann Margaret's husband) lived directly across from us and several houses to the west was William Holden. Oh yeah, and we lived next door to The Simpsons. Nope, I can't make this stuff up. I won't even talk about my other neighbor who called her turtle each night by ringing her wind chimes.

@Barney i love The Simpsons!

@carl669 I know you do! And you would have loved this Simpson. He would get drunk and get on his riding lawn mower and mow everyone's lawn. He really did a pretty good job, too.

@Barney heck, I'd buy the beer/drink of choice.

@sohmageek don't forget about Cable Car

@sohmageek Hurricane Chris, didn't they do, 'Ay Bay Bay'? My son's name is Baylee, have called him Baybay since way before that was ever a popular thing... he was only six or so when that song came out, and when he first heard it I told him they were singing about him (Iuckily I knew he wouldn't catch the words yet at that age!).

I learned HTML at Job Corps

I first started using the internet so I could read Earth 2 fan fiction

I dress my dogs in people clothes

@hollboll I chose the first because I WANT the other 2 to be true lol

@chellemonkey

In that case, you'd be happy to know the third thing is true:

@FroodyFrog I used to have a 20lb dog. He fit in 3-6month onsies perfectly

@chellemonkey

(That isn't my cat btw, it belongs to Katy)

I never could understand the joy people get from putting "people clothing" on animals. Care to elaborate on why some people do it?

@FroodyFrog Originally I wanted to be silly and see if it fit. Then I realized he didn't care so it was fun to take my sister's baby's clothes and put on him because it annoyed her and made me laugh.
Cats on the other hand care if you dress them...they flop down like they have been immobilized or run around like they are trying to escape. Either one is hilarious.

@FroodyFrog I feel like you don't know what a dog is.

@ChadP

Sure i do.
This is a recent photo of my dog who incidentally is also named Chad.

@FroodyFrog That's no dog!

@OldCatLady

I don't believe you.

One of my favorite old TV shows is Red Dwarf.  

I had six wisdom teeth pulled as a teen.  

I am good at impersonating Elvis.

@kylethephotoguy #3 is kind of an opinion and, in mine, no one is "good at impersonating Elvis"

@RedHot I voted for it just so he has to prove it is true..if it is.

@MrMark I kind of want him to prove the 6 teeth thing

@hollboll @kylethephotoguy something is really really wrong if you think Red Dwarf is old.

Honeymooned with his wife in Havana, Cuba.

Was once arrested for shoplifting.

Played trombone in his 7th grade band.

I am a world Traveler. Have been to almost every country in world

I was attacked by a moray eel while diving in St Croix

I was a survivor of a 1994 Airplane crash in NC

In high school, I was the musical director of an award winning a cappella group.

I’ve scored 2 hole-in-ones playing golf.

My grandfather held several patents about manufacturing jewelry cases.

'award' better not mean participation award.

@carl669 I mean he's not @mehcus.

Everyone who plays golf lies about it, so I'm going with that.

I have been to more countries than states

Contracted and survived the Swine Flu

I married my pre-school sweetheart

@hollboll

Can one of those be half true?

@FroodyFrog are you saying she didn't survive the Swine Flu?

@carl669

Exactly.

After all, if she's alive after being killed by Santa Bot...

In 6th grade, I won the local spelling bee

In 6th grade, I won the local geography bee

In 6th grade, I got attacked by a swarm of bees

@hollboll @harrison This seems necessary.

@hollboll Seriously, a meh characters edition is in order. I've give you some time, but I fully expect it.