@cinoclav I really enjoy it when Facebook brings up photos of my Dad’s and brother’s funerals, and says “Here’s some memories for you! Want to share them?” Every Single Year
So my mom decided to sell her house, but she’d always promised she’d get the boulder out of her front yard. It was an eyesore, but she couldn’t handle it herself. I was still in college, so on a long weekend, I loaded all the guys I could in my car, drove the 11 hours home. We borrowed a truck, backed it right up, and tried to lift it. We couldn’t move it.
So I called in all the old high school friends I could reach. It still wouldn’t budge.
So we get scientific, try to wedge a metal beam from the garage under it, and slip an old tool chest in as a fulcrum, hoping to pry it loose. The beam bends, and the tool chest actually snaps.
By now, it’s been a few hours, most of the group is ready to give up, and the pizza and drinks I’d offered and running out, when I see Nate pull in next door. He was our neighbor’s son, rarely showed up to visit her, but felt like a godsend at that moment.
I convinced myself one more man would make a difference, which seems a little less crazy when you know Nate. He’s 6’8", and pure muscle. He holds back when shaking hands so he doesn’t hurt people, and still feels like he’s going to crush you hand. He grabbed me by the arm to pull me out of the way of a speeding car once, and they had to put the arm in a cast, because his grip broke it. Saved my life at least. Plus, Nate is a landscaper, and I figured he might have trick to help us.
So I thought with everyone and Nate, we got this. I ask Nate for help with the boulder, start waving everyone else over. Only Nate doesn’t wait for us. He just grabs the boulder and pops it up into the truck.
And that’s how I learned a valuable lesson: better Nate than lever.
Um… me. A dad.
@shahnm Yeah, this choice pretty much sums it up, tho meh forgot to include it.
@baqui63 @shahnm are we really surprised by that? Seems they always miss at least one obvious choice.
A dad and a step-dad, both of which are no longer with us. Thanks for the pain meh.
@cinoclav I really enjoy it when Facebook brings up photos of my Dad’s and brother’s funerals, and says “Here’s some memories for you! Want to share them?” Every Single Year
My father-in-law, who has become a second dad to me.
So my mom decided to sell her house, but she’d always promised she’d get the boulder out of her front yard. It was an eyesore, but she couldn’t handle it herself. I was still in college, so on a long weekend, I loaded all the guys I could in my car, drove the 11 hours home. We borrowed a truck, backed it right up, and tried to lift it. We couldn’t move it.
So I called in all the old high school friends I could reach. It still wouldn’t budge.
So we get scientific, try to wedge a metal beam from the garage under it, and slip an old tool chest in as a fulcrum, hoping to pry it loose. The beam bends, and the tool chest actually snaps.
By now, it’s been a few hours, most of the group is ready to give up, and the pizza and drinks I’d offered and running out, when I see Nate pull in next door. He was our neighbor’s son, rarely showed up to visit her, but felt like a godsend at that moment.
I convinced myself one more man would make a difference, which seems a little less crazy when you know Nate. He’s 6’8", and pure muscle. He holds back when shaking hands so he doesn’t hurt people, and still feels like he’s going to crush you hand. He grabbed me by the arm to pull me out of the way of a speeding car once, and they had to put the arm in a cast, because his grip broke it. Saved my life at least. Plus, Nate is a landscaper, and I figured he might have trick to help us.
So I thought with everyone and Nate, we got this. I ask Nate for help with the boulder, start waving everyone else over. Only Nate doesn’t wait for us. He just grabs the boulder and pops it up into the truck.
And that’s how I learned a valuable lesson: better Nate than lever.
@simplersimon lol
@simplersimon I have a longer story with the same punchline…
@shahnm @simplersimon Didn’t we have a three-page version of this story?
@simplersimon Found it:
https://meh.com/forum/topics/best-joke-of-all-time
@shahnm yeah, but this was the way my dad always told it. This and the string joke were his go-tos.
Brother. And father-in-law. Uncles
Celebrating this Father’s Day with my Tibial Plateau Fracture. Laying on the couch with my leg elevated. Somebody help me out with a dad joke…
What’s brown and sticky???
A stick.
You’re welcome.
@smkarizona best bad dad joke tonight!
I head the Devil is going bald.
There’s gonna be Hell toupée.
@ZeroCharisma nice try, but no cigar for dad
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a good electrician.
Three guys are walking down the street.
Two of them walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
Anywhere away from the Mrs. you should have divorced 5 years ago. The more miles, the better.
@rtjhnstn Sorry about the downer above.
Here are some TLD dad jokes.
https://imgur.com/gallery/kP4gw
Q: Why does Yoda make such a terrible navigator?
A: I asked him if we were going the right way and he said “Off course we are”
Grocery cashier: Sir…do you want your milk in a bag?
Dad: Nope leave it in the carton…
Q: Why are dad jokes so obvious?
A: Because they are apparent.