The top 10 nicknames for possible 2014 World Series matchups
10Most years, the World Series doesn't have any particular geographic or historical significance. It's one good team against another good team. So in those years when there is a little more backstory, the Series gets a nickname: the Subway Series (most recently, Yanks-Mets in 2000); the BART Series (A's-Giants, 1989); the Woot Series (Rangers-Cardinals, 2011). As a Cards fan and then-Woot employee, that one really divided my loyalties (yeah right CARDS ROOL LOL).
But in these times of baseball-narrative inflation, when a pretty good shortstop's retirement gets a farewell tour that would embarrass an Ottoman emperor, the mythic bar is lower. Here, with the first pitch of the playoffs mere minutes away, are my ten most nicknameable World Series matchups in 2014:
10. Giants vs. Orioles: The More Rage in O-range Series
Baseball's two orangest teams collide in a clash that no hunter will mistake for a deer. Sorry, Angels, it doesn't count that you play in Orange County.
9. Royals vs. Pirates: The What Else Is On? Series
Two exciting young teams (who I both kind of hate, but that's beside the point) from the two smallest markets in the postseason. If the Cardinals can't make it, I'm rooting for this one because I like to see Fox Sports cry.
8. Orioles vs. Cardinals: The Browns' Revenge Series
St. Louis used to have two teams. In 1944, the sad-sack Browns lost their only World Series to the Cardinals in the last Series to be played entirely in one stadium. Ten years later, they were the Baltimore Orioles, enjoying considerably more success. Can they avenge their humiliation of 70 years ago? Does any living human actually care about that?
7. Giants vs. A's: The Tempting Seismic Fate Series
Last time the two Bay Area teams met in the World Series, shit got scary. It was probably coincidence, but why chance it?
6. Dodgers vs. Angels: The Anaheim World Series of Los Angeles
I've spent the last ten minutes trying to figure out which one is the Lakers and which one is the Clippers. The correct answer is "both".
5. Nationals vs. Orioles: The Battle of Lanham Series
According to this really cool map of Facebook MLB fans by zip code, the unincorporated community of Lanham, Maryland (zip code 20706) is evenly split between Nats and O's fans. This matchup would be the biggest thing to hit Lanham since the Supervalu/Shoppers Food Warehouse merger of 1999!
4. A's vs. Pirates: The Got-No-Moneyball Series
The two lowest-paid teams to make the playoffs. Pregame festivities include players washing cars and selling apples outside the stadium.
3. Tigers vs. Dodgers: The Let Them Eat Turf Series
The two highest-paid teams to make the playoffs. The Koch Brothers will throw out the first ball. And, if they feel like it, every ball.
2. Angels vs. Cardinals: The Albert Who?-jols Series
Phat Albert broke Cardinal hearts when he left after 12 seasons and two World Series titles. Then the Cards went to the NLCS and the World Series in the two seasons since. I don't wish Albert any specific harm - I even went to see his first game as an Angel in Seattle, and cheered when he hit a home run. But it would help the healing if the Cards won the championship with him on the field.
1. Cardinals vs. Royals: The I-70 Exorcism Series
Whichever of these cross-Missouri rivals wins will purge the curse of 1985. Either the Cards will have their revenge for Don Denkinger's frankly criminal call in Game 6 that year, or the Royals will finally win a World Series title untainted by horrendous umpiring. OR WILL THEY...?
What are you looking for in this year's playoffs? Vent your MLB spleen below! And no whining about "sportsball". I don't come over to your house and make fun of your Thundercats dolls.
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I haven't kept up much (or any) this year, but I am a Cards fan and a native Texan. So I got a lot of grief during the 2011 Series. I mean, y'know, until game 7- then I got free champagne and hugs from strangers!
Very nice write up and obviously well-thought out. But you really need to switch #2 and #1. C'mon, if you're calling this the 10 most nicknameable World Series matchups, nothing comes anywhere close to the Albert Who?-jols Series. That's just brilliant!
Well, #7 and #4 are now both, sadly, off the table.
Being from KC, tonight's game was the best I've ever seen. Also was the first playoff game KC has played in my lifetime. I still can't believe they came back to win...incredible. Go Royals!!!
@JasonToon #1: I'd love to see the I-70 WS rematch
@Broseph That was an amazing game! I was rooting for the Royals, but by the eighth inning I figured they were done. And then it just got all kinds of crazy! I can only imagine how great that felt to the true Royals fans.
@pitamuffin "I can only imagine how great that felt to the true Royals fans." Yes, they both must be very happy.
@Broseph Me too! Like I said, either way it goes, the burden of 1985 will be lifted. (Unless, of course, it's influenced by another blown call...) Congrats on the win last night! It's gonna be hard for the rest of playoffs to match that game for sheer thrills.
@JasonToon Thanks! Yeah I don't know if there will be a game like that but it's going to be a great postseason!
@pitamuffin It felt pretty awesome. We've waited a long time just to see them make the playoffs, and then to win last night the way they did? Doesn't get much better
@Broseph Just want to say, your team is still looking good! Another great game last night, and really fun to watch. I think the Orioles are toast.
@pitamuffin Thanks! I hope you're right -- I can't wait to watch game 3 tonight!
You mean there is something after the World Cup?
@JasonToon It wasn't the BART series, it was the Bay Bridge series. I had tickets to the game five that never took place because the A's got to use their two best pitchers for the first four games. Also, a lot of shit in my flat in San Francisco wound up on the floor on that day as my roommate and I were getting ready to watch game three.
@SSteve I was trying to make a lame semi-joke there where I had one WS nickname that was right, one that was not right, and one that was totally made up. Making the second one a clumsy Bay Area adaptation of "Subway Series" seemed mildly amusing for a second there. It doesn't anymore.
@SSteve But man, that must have been insane. Glad you're OK. I hope you framed the tickets!
@JasonToon "Subway Series" seemed mildly amusing for a second there. It doesn't anymore. No worries. Just, you know, Someone on the Internet is Wrong.
@JasonToon It was definitely insane. Power was out, there was fire, the radio was saying the Bay Bridge had collapsed. And it was the only time in the year-and-a-half that I lived in that flat that all the neighbors came outside and talked to each other.
Re #10: At least the Giants don't have to wear orange pants. That's just cuckoo.
How exactly do you "kind of hate" the Royals? Or the Pirates? That's like hating ugly people or runt piglets.
Dodgers are the Lakers and the Angels are the Clippers. GO DODGERS!!!
Royals lost their first post season game tonight, game 1 of the world series... Missed out on the Deep Fryer deal... Still gotta say it was a good day! GO ROYALS. Take the Crown!!!
Apparently Clash of Clans had a lot to do with the Royals tanking earlier: http://deadspin.com/a-clash-of-clans-addiction-nearly-sank-the-royals-seaso-1648848299