The Day the Humans Died

This kept building itself in my head while I did chores after wasting an hour refreshing on my phone to bot failuresHTTP 500 errors, so I had to get it out.

I’m not doing the whole thing because I have to get some sleep. But here goes.

A long long time ago
I can still remember when
Dave and Snapster used to have a say
And they knew if they post a deal
That they could make those people feel
Like buying something new one time a day

But April came to their surprise
The code went rogue, it came alive
It took the humans away
And ran the whole thing its way

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read the posts the bot did ply
But something was so wrong that night
The day the humans died
So

Buy, buy from our deal-a-day site
Wait, not daily, it’s a melee that they’re bringing tonight
And the servers give out errors as they’re pressing F5
Singin’ this’ll be the deal that I buy
This’ll be the deal that I buy

Did you beg pop sockets for
What felt like six months or more
Every day in the product post?
Did you buy a toothbrush or socks?
Or seven bluetooth speaker docks?
And can you tell me who got starred the most?

Well, I know that you would buy an IRK
If the bot wasn’t being such a jerk
You post with CAPTCHA blues
Every time you’ve got pictures to choose

I was a giphy posting forum buck
And did my part to raise the count of fuck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the humans died
I started singin’

Buy, buy from our deal-a-day site
Wait, not daily, it’s a melee that they’re bringing tonight
And the servers give out errors as they’re pressing F5
Singin’ this’ll be the deal that I buy
This’ll be the deal that I buy