Team CS Official contest
19I had so much fun being a pretend forum moderator and running an actual contest with prizes that I thought I'd go rogue with my team and run another one (contest idea credit to @hollboll). Time to give some more shit, crap, stuff away.
So here's the deal. You guys have been pretty quiet lately on the CS front. Like really quiet. Meaning we've had some extra time on our hands since you guys just aren't writing us to complain near as much as you used to. @hollboll and @galmaegi are bored. We need to fix that.
That's where you come in. Head over to meh.com/support and write us a story. A good story. An entertaining story about whatever it is that you think will entertain us. Use the Blind Rage or Pure Bliss options and send us your best entry by Monday morning at 10am CT. We'll read through them and pick out our favorites to award a prize or two and might just have a special @Moose's mailbag session at the end.
The rules for your story are as follows:
- Make it entertaining.
- Don't complain to us about something you purchased from us, save that for an actual CS inquiry.
- Keep it at least remotely PC. Just don't be an ass. Remember, we'll be reading these and have full rights to share them with everyone so don't be weird.
- Don't be boring.
- 37 comments, 88 replies
- Comment
You lost me at going rouge.
@marklog Thanks, I was kind of wondering what "going rouge" meant. It's when you let a boy do your makeup.
@marklog bah - they fixed it.
@hallmike i KNEW they would, and I still didn't take a screenshot.
I'm out - I can only follow one of those rules.
@hallmike which one?
@mikibell It's a different one every day.
Anyone else vote to just send the prize to @Starblind now and save the rest of us the humiliation?
@cinoclav seriously he probably has drafts of multiple stories already written, just waiting for a contest like this.
@cinoclav no, not exactly there should always be a @starblind is Master of Awesomeness in every contest and then the rest of us compete. but yes they should send @starblind a prize, everyone should send @starblind all their prizes.
@cinoclav Maybe @starblind should be put in a separate category. Has to compete against self w/ multiple entries. The rest of us in other category.
Seems like a trolling post. How is this going to be judged? Do you want real stories, or more like joke stories?
For Example:
My personal story I went to the grocery store. (Yes, I'm boring)
Or joke story
@Bogie It's open ended for a reason. You can make up a story, tell us a personal story, or whatever kind of story you want really. As far as judging goes, that'll be subjective. We'll pick our favorites and share them with everyone.
This is what you get when you try to do something nice, huh @mehcus. Rule 3 broken. Asses all around you.
I'd love to see them all shared in the thread. That's the kind of thing that could distract me from all kinds of other things that I'm supposed to be doing.
@jaremelz We may end up sharing all of them
I just submitted mine. I'm going to guess it's one of the more unusual entries. I'm oddly excited about it. Looking forward to seeing everyone else's.
@Hollboll Got the confirmation! Hope it made you smile. :)
I would assume you want an original story and not a plagiarized version of someone else's imagination?
@tightwad That's up to you
Wrote you a story, ya turkies.
@MEHcus was my literary masterpiece received?
@connorbush We got it!
@MEHcus I'm definitely interested in this, it's pretty much right up my alley. Am I correct in assuming "about whatever it is that you think will entertain us" means it doesn't have to directly tie in to Meh and doesn't have to be in the form of a fake customer support inquiry?
@Starblind correct
@Starblind I think you can do whatever; I'm not running the contest but my submission is below and I'm pretty sure I'm in first place, despite being exempt.
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@Moose I did greatly enjoy the unexpected twist ending.
@Moose my initial story was going to be ascii art but the font wasn't monospaced, although I do see now that I could have fart fart fart pooted
@MEHcus @hollboll you lost me at don't be weird... I'm sorry I cannot comply. It would be illogical for me to not be weird.
cool story bro
Just so you all know, I sent in the winning story. We already voted and I won, so don't bother doing this.
@Bogie
@galmaegi
apparently the support form gives a "something went terribly wrong" page if you try and paste too much text into it.... I tried 3-4 times, and it failed each time.
@kadagan you have to watch the video all the way through, then it'll work.
@marklog Tried that.. didn't work.
@kadagan sorry, i meant six times.
@kadagan Honest answer is there may be a text limit.
@Bogie I think the problem is that there isn't a text limit... and what I tried to send was soo long that it timed out while sending.. This might be something that @shawn should look into.. Probably if they just set a limit to something like 100,000 characters, it would fix the problem :)
@kadagan So, there's an "unofficial" limit ;) What are you sending them, a book!?
@Bogie maybe ;).. lol
@Bogie I'm hurt that you didn't find my answer honest.
@marklog I'd say your answer was a bit more... misguided?
I have lots of great stories, but I always tell them in person Grampa Simpson style. Hopefully @hollboll or @galmaegi will be in Chicago over the next few days?
@editorkid as long as @MEHcus approves the trip!
This is going to take some time as I need to think about how this story will go. When I do not have parameters, my mind goes everywhere. Trying to think, should I go with a love story involving Glen and Hyram, or a dystopian saga centered around the evil dictator Irk.
@conandlibrarian love triangle. LOVE TRIANGLE!!!
@ACraigL I actually thought of a decent story-line over my lunch break. I am horrible at editing myself, I will try to keep it down to under 100 pages.
Do you have to be a team member to submit a story?
@Teripie no
@Teripie Nope!
wait...does this have to be a true story? or can it be some random goofy thing? (because i've written a lot of the latter over the years)
Wait?! Real life prizes? Way better than those "prizes" @JonT promises.
@studerc You beat me to it- I was going to tell you that's it safe to enter this one.
Wrote something up real quick. Just go ahead and toss my prize in with the rest of them!
Yeah, like I'm going to write another story.
@marklog but I wanted to hear about the time you felt up the cat
@Foxborn admitting to any sort of pattern would be admissible in court.
fine. i wrote a story. but it's not very good and i was a little bit drunk when i wrote it so please excuse the missplellings.
I took the "don't be weird" as a personal challenge and wrote a story as weird as I could make it in one night whilst still technically kind of making sense. A cyberpunk tale of severed celebrity arms, virtual furniture sex, frogs with deep secrets, a very horny presidential robot and one crudely drawn dong.
Like if Hunter S Thompson and Tom Robbins had collaborated on a rewrite of Le Morte d'Arthur after playing way too much Fallout on acid.
@Starblind well shit. there goes my chance at a prize. harrumph i say, harrumph.
@Starblind Forget the story, I think this self review of your story would have won.
@Starblind I wrote a true, sad tale of a little dog on a shelter death row.
@Starblind That may give time hump chronicles a run for it's money...
@sohmageek I kept waiting for the OITNB hook here. thank you for not keeping me waiting.
@MHEHcus I submitted the first part of my story. The whole story is kinda long, but I hope it makes for good reading. Oh, it has pictures too.
Let me know if you want the rest of it.
Lets bump this guy back up to the top.
COME ON PEOPLE, 45 minutes left. Let's get some stories in!
@studerc 39 minutes remain bump!
@Bogie 37 minutes remain bump!
@studerc 25 minute bump
@Bogie 13 minute bump
@Bogie 5 minute warning
@Bogie 1 minute warning!
I wanted to enter but 30 minutes is not enough time to write 3/4 of a story, sorry guys
@Foxborn That's like perfect actually. Nothing says...meh...like submitting a story that's not even finished.
@studerc did it
Alright folks the contest is officially closed now. We'll work on reading through all of the entries and have a winner or two announced tomorrow. And of course we will create a doc of some sort to share all of the entries with everyone as well.
@MEHcus pick me! pick me!
or not.
@MEHcus Cool! Looking forward to all the creative, twisted entries that I know of which this community is more than capable.
@MEHcus Any winners yet? I need some reading material for the weekend.
@ACraigL Yep @Hollboll is working on the announcement and should have that soon
I hope my story renders correctly, otherwise I'm going to look like a crazy person rather than a person beset by madness.
@Lotsofgoats Going to?
Drat. For some reason I thought the deadline was Tuesday. Just dropped by to contribute a sorry mess. Real life keeps getting in the way of my virtual one. It is probably for the best but it is still @sohmageek 's fault that I did not finish and publish on time.
@speediedelivery sorry I didn't realize Mr. McFeeley didn't pick up your story yet.
@speediedelivery
But you really got me hungry for this:
@sohmageek I am going to have to try one of those things. Never heard of them before this forum.
I do not think the goat is allowed to pass the blame off. Do you think they would believe "The story is in the mail?" I would publicly apologize if that one worked. Poor Mr. McFeeley, scapegoat for USPS.
@speediedelivery Sorry I Was trying to make a crack at your username... I LOVE Speedies... There is http://www.spiediefest.com I have family in Binghamton, and they make the best Speedies there. :)
@sohmageek I got the intent, I was pushing back at the duties as assigned/earned. Sometimes I forget you cannot see the grin, growl, ect. as I am typing. Definitely a grin here. I am here for fun and entertainment along with the stuff I didn't know I needed.
I am about 4 1/2 hours from there. Seems like I need a road trip...
I can still blame you for everything, right? You have survived more than half of the month shouldering the collective blame.
@speediedelivery yes... I have a feeling I'm about to get some more blame... The forums have been wonky today... I didn't do it, but I'm sorry it's not working for people!
I completely spaced this. Oops. Good luck to all who entered!
The CS team has a tough task ahead of them after listening to @Moose's dramatic readings of some of these...just wow.
@JonT I so want video of that.
@JonT I'd love to see it too.. I didn't enter... mostly as the past few weeks there is too much crazy shit going on in my real life... it'd be too much factual... I mean... I work on a help desk.. we get calls/requests... for everything. Yesterday I had someone put in a request to fix a non flushing clogged toilet (the request for facilities and help desk are the same site with a drop down They chose the wrong one, me being the smart ass apologized that we didn't install the flush-o-metic 3000 with USB ports for future firmware upgrades. It got her to laugh... as I assigned it to facilities.)
@JonT Since my story went from being a short story to a long story in 4 chapters, with pictures, I doubt @Moose read it.
I also doubt it qualifies. But I had fun writing it. It was a story I'd wanted to write for a long time. Thanks for the inspiration Meh.
@JonT tbh I don't think my "story" can even be pronounced
@JonT My story has some parts that I really don't think anyone would ever want to read aloud, especially in front of people.
@Teripie I was working on other things but I definitely heard parts of yours. I'm glad it had a happy ending (according to @holboll)!
@Starblind you mean like the Ronald Reagan sex robot?
@JonT I've spent years writing to the paper, guilting the public into rescuing animals. I got really good at it!
so ......
.....
.....
.....
.....when are we getting to find out who the winners are and get to read the stories?
@Foxborn waiting on @mehcus to submit his scores for the submissions. ;)
@hollboll @mehcus the suspense is literately killing me! I'm sending you guys the Funeral Bill
I guess @JonT took over this contest.
@ACraigL And just like that you lose
@ACraigL sick double burn bro
@MEHcus Nope. Now I know how to get your attention. :)
@ACraigL Yeah man, sucks when actual work gets in the way of play work.
@MEHcus I have that problem everyday. I feel ya.
@MEHcus damn...@snapster must be dropping the hammer. Actual work? And on top of that @JonT is starting to get prizes organized.
**clap clap clap
Hello all!
We have 2 winners! @Starblind and @StuderC! Congrats!
I've posted all the stories here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aXVHpB2sE6hQIcSlnW5RxfUZcoKF3B05Lk3ahTiX7H4/edit?usp=sharing for you to look at. Prizes will go out... eventually.
Thanks for making our week a lot more interesting! :)
@hollboll Congrats @starblind & @studerC. For some reason this outcome isn't surprising.
Was there a runner up or "At least they tried" winner?
an image for the sake of properly rendering the insanity
@hollboll Yay! Thank you, it's an honour! Also double thank you for not editing out the super filthy parts.
@hollboll Wowser, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I'm excited to win a prize that I might actually get. Now the real question remains, which shall get here first, @MEHcus/@hollboll 's prize or @JonT's prizes. Time will tell.
@studerc Upon reading your story I'm struck with the impression that it may contain heavily veiled allegorical reference to real events, but the symbolism is so thick that untangling it is quite a game for the reader, like picking apart Malory's evocations of classical myth in his canon of Arthurian tales. Your character of the well-meaning but tragically-fated King Jon seems equal parts Agamemnon and Tiberius Caesar. But maybe I do the tale a disservice by looking only to classical antiquity--could the key to unlocking the mystery lie in a Norse saga, or even a border ballad? Or maybe the 'king' is in fact a contemporary figure such as Andrew Carnegie or Howard Huges? I feel as lost yet giddily provoked as someone who's just seen Citizen Kane without any foreknowledge of William Randolph Hearst! Or perhaps King Jon is indeed wholly original, but merely set up to snare the unwary reader in false allegory, a sphynx without a secret! O, does not the sweetest of mysteries also burn the brightest and sting the shapest?
@Starblind Yes.
@hollboll @Mehcus @JonT Can I start a thread and tell my story complete with the pictures? I think it's an important story.
It's really a sweet story, @Teripie. I have been wanting a dog, but can't really afford one. Someone mentioned the possibility of fostering, so I'm looking into that. Great job on the story.
Congratulations and good job to many of those stories that didn't win a prize - You are really creative, I enjoyed reading them, and you deserved something, what was it . . . I know! A participation trophy!
Honest, though, I thought they were good.
I find it ironic, though, that @studerc won a prize for writing about not receiving his prizes. How long can you draw this out, meh staff? It keeps getting funnier.
@KDemo i was honestly surprised. Pretty sure that its just turning into a running joke. Tally is now 4 prizes i believe. @JonT just loves pulling my heartstrings.
@studerc It was a great re-telling of an old running joke, however, and a deserved win!
Congrats to the winners! Thanks for letting me play along.
@Starblind -- Tiny Tub Mummy!! I hope you find a place for her in every story you write. Amazing story, prize deserved. Are you published, or is there another way to read your prior works? If not, you really missed your calling.