Some words and phrases I've learned online in the past eight years

@narfcake I can build up to the third-from-current-ish major generation of desktop box in my sleep. And every time I have to build a new one, I acquire new skills that are obsolete two days later.

@Kyeh Amen!

@ircon96 @Kyeh And somehow, even if you adjust for how long it’s going to take given the DK effect, it still takes longer than you estimate. Especially vehicle repair.

@ircon96 @Kyeh @mehcuda67 Som,e of that is due to the fourth law of thermodymanics, aka The Law of Perversity of the Universe, which is usually stated as “The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum”, and paraphrased as “Anything that can go wrong is more likely to go wrong at precisely the most inconvenient time.” With car repairs, the corollaries are numerous; the parts that were the most difficult to obtain will be the wrong ones when they arrive, the part most desperately required is not in stock anywhere nearby, the additional problem that you find halfway through the repair will require a special tool that won’t arrive until Thursday, that mysterious trouble code that kept popping up and vanishing is now constantly present after fixing the other problem, a stud will break off during disassembly which can’t be extracted without removing the head even when the repair you were attempting was on the rear brakes, and many others.

Do not ask me how I know of these things.

@Kyeh Another possible explanation for consistently underestimating time required and for frequently losing things is ADHD.

I don’t know if that actually applies to you, but it is possible to make it into adulthood without realizing you have ADHD. It’s also possible to know you have ADHD all growing up, but still make it into adulthood without knowing all the symptoms associated with it. (In both cases, since you’ve only ever been one person, it’s really easy to not realize that other people don’t have the same struggles as you…)

Of course—statistically speaking—you probably don’t have ADHD. So a simpler explanation is that it’s difficult to estimate the time required for unfamiliar projects (and false confidence from the Dunning-Kruger effect will make that worse), and we tend to over-remember negative things (like losing a tool right when we needed it).

In other words, your struggle in that area might be greater than the general public’s, or it might be exactly the same. I’m sure that’s helpful.

@xobzoo I really do suspect that I have ADD (not the H part)! I read about it a few years ago and took a self-test and it was almost eerie to me how well it fit. It talked about it being different for girls/women, that they tend to daydream a lot rather than be physically hyperactive, and all my grade-school report cards had comments about not paying attention enough, etc. So yes, thanks, it could definitely be a part of the problem!

@Kyeh @xobzoo 100% yes to all that you both said!! I was diagnosed as an adult, but looking back on my childhood, it was pretty obvious, or should have been (my report cards were exactly the same Kyeh…as a matter of fact, I took them with me to show my physician because it was so apparent, lol!) They just didn’t diagnose girls with it that much in the 70’s-80’s when I was a kid. Now I find myself hyper aware that I am different than my family and friends…like when I see that familiar glazed look come over faces as they try to follow my random thoughts and actions that make no sense to anyone but me.

Medication has definitely helped Kyeh, so if you feel like you are struggling, it wouldn’t hurt to ask about getting an evaluation.

@k4evryng @xobzoo Good to know, thanks. I will check it out a little more.

@k4evryng @Kyeh Also, I found the YouTube channel How to ADHD extremely useful in my journey of discovery.

Among the things I’ve learned about it, probably the biggest is that ADHD is very mis-named. For one, “hyperactive” only shows up in some people (and they way it shows up varies, as you noted). Secondly, it’s not an attention deficit — it’s a problem with attention regulation. And executive dysfunction in general.

On a lighter not, my brother recently told me that ADHD stands for “Attention Deficit, hey! Donuts!”

@k4evryng @xobzoo Thanks - I agree with that distinction. Although I’m terribly distractable, when I’m really into something I can hyper-focus. And I read that people who have it, instead of falling apart in crises, they’re kind of at their best then. I’ve noticed that about myself, I can get very calm if there’s an emergency. I saw a presentation once by a musician who argued that it’s actually a valuable personality type, if you can find the right fit! So it’s certainly interesting - a lot to think about. (If I don’t get distracted !)

@xobzoo …I will definitely check out that channel!

@kyeh it’s so funny that you mentioned that!
When I was first diagnosed, I told my doctor that I was embarrassed about being an adult with ADD. He said that folks with ADD are the people you want around in an emergency!! He said “if you and I were suddenly stranded on an island, I would be sitting under a tree trying to think of a solution, but you would be running around, coming up with creative ideas and solutions immediately… like looking for wood to make a signal fire, or gathering food or shelter supplies. That is a gift.” I joked that I may come up with a bunch of ideas, but 5 minutes later I would say “now….what did I just say 5 minutes ago?”

But…it really made a difference to hear that, because I had been depressed for so many years not understanding why I struggle so much just to get stuff done! I couldn’t understand why other people could actually accomplish daily tasks so easily when I would feel like I spent all day doing something, but not be any closer to finishing than when I started! So frustrating! As a result of ADD, I have a VERY messy house, but also a creative mind…and I am thankful for that. And LOTS of projects get started, but few get finished before the very last minute! It definitely still depresses me, but at least I understand that it’s not entirely my fault, lol!

And ohhh boy…the hyper focus is REAL! I am the queen of knowing extremely detailed info about random stuff that nobody gives a crap about! I can go down a rabbit hole for months and months just because….

Oh…and despite medication, I still forget to start the dryer several times a week. Or close kitchen cabinets. Like…who walks away from open cabinets and just forgets to close them multiple times every day? oh well…it is what it is, lol! The medication more just helps me not to feel so overwhelmed all the time, or be completely immobilized by tasks, and for that, I am grateful!

@k4evryng @xobzoo It explains a lot for me as well! And that word at the top of the post - “logorrheic” - I’m kind of driven crazy if someone is throwing too much information or chatter at me; I can’t stand to watch news commentary shows where they discuss topics from every possible angle over and over again; it just makes me want to shut down.
Does that happen to you? Do you hate meetings where people discuss things at great length?

@Kyeh I can’t focus enough to hear lengthy discussions. It’s information overload and I immediately get lost. I have difficulty just having a normal conversation with someone…especially someone I don’t know well. I’m trying so hard to formulate a relevant reply in my head that I quit hearing after the first sentence or two. So if they verbalize more than one thought or idea, I’m lost and I have no idea what they said. And then I proceed to sound like an idiot…which makes them express the glazed and confused look I mentioned above. It’s a cycle I am very familiar with.

That’s also why I do so much better with writing or texting! I can think more clearly and edit myself (although, as you can see…I write WAY too much!! Sorry!)

@k4evryng One odd thing I’ve noticed - I’ve known three people through work who are genuine compulsive talkers, to the point that even when you walk away they keep talking ! And yet all three are quite brief in their writing.
I’m more like you - I’m wordier in writing than in person. At least with writing, a person can choose not to read it!

@shahnm That was the essence of brevity by comparison to my average post.