Shoddy Goods - A Newsletter From Meh
30A newsletter from Meh, but not a Meh newsletter.
Hey, Dave from Meh here - I’ve been working with my old pal Jason Toon on a new project I think you might like. I’ll let him tell you more about it:
I’m guessing you, as a Meh customer, like buying stuff. And I’m guessing you’re one of the skeptical, jaded, cynical consumers Meh is talking about in the tagline “daily deals and community for the cynical consumer”… while you’re also curious about how the sausage is made.
Me too! I’m Jason Toon, and for many years I wrote for Meh and its predecessor, Woot. As you probably know, that meant I got to dig into a lot of the bizarre stories behind the cockeyed consumerist caravan of daily deals.
It was fun. I miss it. And I’ve never lost the habit of stumbling down bottomless rabbit holes about freaky little aspects of consumerism past and present, heedless of my children growing up, my body slowly decaying, and my wife sighing wistfully and wondering what her life could have been.
So when Meh’s honcho Dave and I started kicking around the idea of Meh publishing an email newsletter, the focus was obvious. Meh pulls back the curtain on its deals every day. Why not stick our nose out further into the whole world of making, buying, and selling? Why not shape my restless nerdery into something tangible, something that might even make my wife think of me as a man again?
What it won’t be is a “Meh newsletter”. It won’t be pushing Meh’s deals or updating you on the latest thrilling twists and turns in the privacy policy. Just stories about stuff.
Hence, we’re calling it Shoddy Goods. Every week I’ll follow my latest obsession and/or irritation to bring you stories like:
- Why Temu is happy to lose money on every order
- The most WTF ad blitz in Olympic history
- The upstart vinyl record plants popping up around the world
- Why alcohol-free booze isn’t cheaper than the hard stuff
I know, I know, we’ve got some nerve sending you a newsletter you never asked for. And every week, even! But if you enjoy Meh even a little, stick with the emails for a few issues. Or follow the weekly story in the Meh community. Or just think of Shoddy Goods fondly once in a while, when the slanting afternoon sun catches the swaying yew boughs outside your window just so. Preferably the email thing, though.
The first issue comes out next week! And members might just get the occasional discarded garba- er, exclusive insider content! Because if there’s one thing Meh knows, it’s turning junk into jewels. (I hope that doesn’t sound too cynical…)
Jason Toon
Shoddy Goods
- 66 comments, 40 replies
- Comment
Conjecturing…
We should bring back chain letters. Remember when “if you don’t forward this to 10 people Microsoft will kill your dog!” was a thing?
@ExtraMedium not the dog!!!
@charliedoggo said he is offended and left the room
@ExtraMedium if you are going to do chain letters, be sure to include the crappy chocolate chip cookie recipe that someone supposedly paid $350 for.
@ExtraMedium not the bad luck cast upon my entire family!!!
@ExtraMedium @ironcheftoni MRS. FIELDS!
I remember that one!
@ExtraMedium @lumpyplumpo or chain mailing (that would NOT be chain mail)… mail all the junk someone sent you plus one more item to the next person on the meh list… the last person standing gets to keep it all.
@ExtraMedium @Kidsandliz @lumpyplumpo
/youtube weird al virus alert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvfD5rnkTws
(apparently VEVO won’t let that one be embedded?)
@ExtraMedium @ironcheftoni @lisaviolet
It wasn’t even that great a recipe. I knew a naive gal who thought she’d make a bunch of money baking and selling them. Of course she didn’t.
@ExtraMedium @lisaviolet Neimann Marcus was also tied to the recipe as well.
@ExtraMedium @ironcheftoni @Kyeh @lisaviolet Wasn’t it just [similar to] the recipe printed on the back of a chocolate chip bag or something? (Hmm, Snopes doesn’t mention that tidbit, so maybe it’s just the trolling pendulum swinging the other way?)
@ExtraMedium @ironcheftoni @lisaviolet @xobzoo I’m not sure - it has oatmeal in it, so perhaps not. But it’s a perfectly okay recipe, just not THAT special.
@ExtraMedium @Kyeh @lisaviolet @xobzoo yes. It did have finely food processed oatmeal and a grated hershey bar. I did make it a few times when I hosted the hospitality suite at a comic convention eons ago. I only made ut because it made a shit ton of cookies and I had a lot of people to feed.
@dave
You are sending out an entire newsletter about Me???!!!
I’m so honored!
/giphy “meh me”
Conjecture?
Meh is entering the footwear market, hence the name "shod"dy goods.
With both socks “Glen’s exclusive line” and shoes “Irk Jordans”.
@OnionSoup unless @JasonToon learned blacksmithing in Australia and is attempting to become the world’s foremost supplier of artisanal horseshoes.
I usually charge for conjecturing. Not free.
Perhaps a subscription service where people sign up to not be sent insufficiently refrigerated steaks twice a week?
Harrowing stories of midnight meetings in crumbling warehouses, and clandestine meetings with freight airline load handlers about things that “fell off a plane?”
Long Island is neither long, nor an island. Discuss!
@tinamarie1974 It’s pretty long tho.
@Fuzzalini @tinamarie1974 According to environmental pundits, it’s not likely to either stay an “island” or be around for “long”, with rising sea levels. Meh.
@Fuzzalini @phendrick @tinamarie1974 and with every storm I wait to have water front property… and if you don’t think Long Island isn’t long, try getting off it… It takes FOREVER.
@tinamarie1974 Long Island is borh long and an island.
@werehatrack clearly y’all dont remember SNL Coffee Talk!
@tinamarie1974 Pronounced Lawn Guyland
@heartny
I am excited! Love Jason’s style. But I am wondering if he ever did get Mortimer that sandwich …
@JasonToon is back? This is exciting!
@djslack I concur
@djslack I guarantee you I’m more excited!
I am intrigued.
100% on board for a meh newsletter about neat things!
I too ponder “Why alcohol-free booze isn’t cheaper than the hard stuff?” I assume b/c it’s just as difficult or more difficult to make but still like it should be taxed less, yeah? and alcohol just is over priced b/c well they can. So why isn’t it cheaper damn it.
Jason’s writing was why I signed up for Meh, and I miss it! Sorry, whoever is writing now – A for effort, though.
Jason Toon is an international treasure.
Looking forward to more than a bit of irreverence while remaining faithful to the facts.
@smccorm2001 define
“meh facts”“facts”@Kidsandliz Facts are what the media gave us 60 years ago and still do once in a while.
Oh, the fun never ends! Will we finally find out why the “Bee’s Knees” have been the topic of conversation for over 100 years, cant wait!
How can you turn junk into jewels? Aren’t they one and the same?
@ronnyd No. You bury junk in a meh warehouse for 100 years and when you pull it out and send it out in an irk it becomes an antique jewel.
This sounds like it’s going to be a fun read. Now I have to go downstairs and retrieve the latest “junk” I got from meh
How can we make TEMU go “belly up”?
@mrlasky Amazon’s going to try:
https://www.supplychainbrain.com/articles/39950-amazon-to-offer-low-price-online-store-to-compete-with-temu
All the new vinyl pressing plants really are a very interesting happening. Even cassettes are making something of a comeback though not nearly to the extent vinyl is. It’s a really fascinating example of how consumer interest can directly go against presumptive trends.
I work in non-alc (and also alc) and why it costs more is always one of the first questions - because its expensive to produce, and can be more expensive if it was dealcoholized and pasteurized! Looking forward to that newsletter
@roone2jm Ooh, hmm, I might want to have a word with you, too… can you email me? It’s my-dot-name at the big G.
Hi @JasonToon ! Will you be eating a large portion of a Costco sheet cake to celebrate Meh’s 10th birthday? Preferably on a livestream?
@curtise Maybe for the 20th
“Because if there’s one thing Meh knows, it’s turning junk into jewels.”
I’m just glad Meh isn’t selling pills that supposedly turn MY junk into something “better” than my “family jewels.”
Sounds like a wantabe Colbert writer.
I don’t deserve this type of shoddy treatment!
(polygraph beeps angrily)
I look forward to seeing your new stuff @JasonToon ! I truly enjoyed our years together at woot and early meh - The World’s Crappiest Projector, Swinging Hammock Chair of Death, Caulk Talk, Mediocre Set of Luggage, Turd-colored Microsoft Zunes, et al, along with the numerous legal threats for insulting various brands!
Woo hoo!
Didn’t Jason go to Australia?
Anyone remember the pasta drop?
@kellie0896 It was actually pretty good pasta!
@JasonTool are you back from OZ?
Odd, I have a friend who just moved there. Arrived there maybe 24 hours ago.
@f00l I believe them’s the rules - gotta leave one to take one.
@f00l Still there… which makes meetings with Dave tricky! Fortunately I’ve never been a great sleeper anyway.
@JasonToon
What province or city?
My friend is settling in Brisbane, I hear the COL there is less totally insane than Sydney or Melbourne.
@dave nice addition!
Dave was probably tired of getting rambling emails from Toon, so he’s giving him an outlet!
I want a complete inside look at the Shroedinger’s Toothbrush saga!!!
wish I could grab a bag of shoddy goods or 3…
“Hey, Dave. You ever wonder if we’ll soon all be living in grocery stores? Like, nobody goes in to do their shopping any more, right? Instead, someone shops for us and brings it to the car! The next natural progression is to simply live in the store so your groceries are already in your house! Let me tell you my thoughts on this in a 3 page email!” -Toon, probably
Amazing that you folks can make millions and billions by making fun of the goods that they don’t want to sell. It’s what makes America great.
I’m not going to be happy until @JasonToon brings back Look Smart Trivia. I umm… did pretty well with that.
@cinoclav If there was a Hall of Fame, you’d be first ballot.
Wait…who here is an engrish teacher…I know in high screwal we learned how to conjecture verbs…but it’s been 50 years now…I forgets, and now Dave, the coolest guy on the website, wants us to actually do it.
@beachhead If you haven’t conjectured verbs in Latin, you haven’t seriously conjectured verbs.
I’m in.
I love the shoddy goods newsletter idea. Hurry up and get the first one out please! I need to know all the dirt!
Welcome back, Jason. We look forward to a new depth of low standards both in your Toonly prose and in reports of extreme shoddnesstic phenomenon and paraphernalia.
Trust fall…you can count on me
This sounds fantastic, looking forward to it!
How exciting!!!
Rats, I was still conjecting!
But I got confused by people on here who were acting like it had ever been stated that a certain Jason was “back” … so I had to go look at my email.
So apparently I wasted all my conjecture on my theory that “Shoddy Goods” will be a newsletter telling about Mediocre’s progress in setting up a new deal site specifically for broken, returned, and refurbished goods (or stuff that’s obviously shoddy in other ways). This would leave Meh open for “expiring” food and otherwise-okay stuff that has passed its cultural prime (like
speaker docksbluetooth speakers). And knives, because somehow those undersold.Btw, from the email:
That’s not turning anything into anything else, that’s just using two different slang terms for the same thing.
(though usually it’s specified “the family jewels”)
I get sidedeal emails but not meh emails. Which distribution list will you be using?
@mbersiam This is a newsletter list on the Meh emails. You should be able to check if you’re subscribed at meh.com/account
I can’t wait for the first issue.
so that’s where woot went.
Let-er -rip
Alrighty then.
I, for one, am looking forward to welcoming our newsletter spam-driving robotic overlords.
Look forward to what is brought to the table.
I would say I approve of this message, but don’t want to wear out my typing thumbs on this here whatchamacallit.
Wonderful topics, Im looking forward to reading!
So, like a podcast, but in written form? I LIKE IT!
@LaVikinga what would you even call that?!
@scorpyo72 I don’t know, but it sounds sort of newsy, doesn’t it?
I got this email in my inbox and was excited to get meh email! I’ve not succeeded in getting the daily reminder sent to my inbox, so this might fill that hole in my heart. Looking forward to it
My hubs worked at a linen service. One guy’s name was Shotty; another Luster. They joked that the laundry service was lackluster & Shoddy!
/showme Jason toon is back at meh.com with love
Say whaaaat!?@
I want to know about all the things mentioned in the first Shoddy Goods pre-announcement news letter, letter!
Hey, did they say we were going to get “stories about stuff”? I love stories about stuff!! The insider content sounds fun too.
I can remember my first purchase from woot, a roomba. The date was Feburary 24th, 2007 and a robot vacuum cleaner was the epitome of high tech at that point. The iPhone had just been announced in January that year and wouldn’t be released until June 29th, 2007, everyone still had to access the internet using an actual computer. Netflix had just started it’s streaming business in January 2007, but everyone still got DVDs through the mail. Big clunky laptops, or big clunky desktop PCs were everywhere and none had HDMI outputs, none were connected to a TV. It was the stone ages I tell you!!!
But it wasn’t until April 26th 2007, that I learned the true value of my beloved “deal a day” site. I bought the “Vector Indoor/Outdoor Rechargeable Lamp”. Two of them in fact. And they were crap. Total shit. I think one of them worked for about a week. The other was DOA. When I complained about how shitty they were, I was told; “Here’s your refund. Please keep that trash.” At that point I questioned reality. Did they say “keep it”? I have always had to return stuff! The RMA process was always a pain and now, I don’t have to do that?! GENIUS!
After that, I threw caution to the wind! I went on to buy: “AOC 3.5’’ USB 2.0 Ext HD Case w/Hideous LED Fan” (meh, I kept it.)
“The Tornado File and Data Transfer Tool with PC Eraser Software” (meh, I kept it. Still have it.)
“Sling Media SlingBox Classic” (cool until Sling bricked it)
“Compaq Athlon 64 3800+ Media Center PC” (cool, it might still be in the basement somewhere)
“EarCheck Middle Ear Monitor - 2 Pack” (These work great to this day!)
The list goes on and on for quite a few years, even after Bezos bought his Breakfast Octopus. I got some gems, some junk, all fun!
And the fun continues here on teh meh site!
/showme Shoddy Goods
@mediocrebot … Is the text in the upper right window trying to say “unhinged picture promises?”
@mediocrebot @pakopako Looks more like unhinged old picture fropness
I shall appoint special counsel to investigate these allegedly “assumed” chain mail matters.
/show two enthusiastic thumbs up
NEED MOAR RSS FEEEED!
I’m so darn excited for this.