I had a professor in college who told us once “if you’re ever invited to someone else’s house and they offer you wine, always ask for white because you won’t feel bad if you spill any.” It was a screenwriting class so that really wasn’t relevant but I remembered the advice.
At the end of the semester, the class (all 15 or so of us, it was a small college) went to his house for the final readings. I didn’t drink wine at the time, but that’s all he offered and so I accepted a glass of white, remembering his words.
I’m sure you’ve guessed the climax of this story but I spilled the whole glass on his probably-very-expensive rug. No one noticed though, so I pretended like nothing happened. Good advice, as it turns out.
I SHOULD have said, “What a great idea for a screenplay.” I was having a tough day yesterday. And anyway, I always think of the right thing AFTER the edit window has passed.
I was teaching a screenwriter’s class this one time and had a little get together at my home. One of those kids spilled a whole glass of white wine on my rug…I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t red wine.
In my younger days I went to a wine festival with some buddies. After drinking way too much I went back to a friends house and crashed on his couch. I woke up the next morning to the sound of his dog going to town on the red wine I had puked all over his carpet in the middle of the night. Needless to say, the carpet was replaced not long thereafter.
The moral of the story… no matter how bad spilled red wine is, it’s never as bad as vomited red wine.
Okay, so how much wine has been spilled on the floors of the Mediocre warehouse?
…or the offices?
Spilling wine is alcohol abuse!
I had a professor in college who told us once “if you’re ever invited to someone else’s house and they offer you wine, always ask for white because you won’t feel bad if you spill any.” It was a screenwriting class so that really wasn’t relevant but I remembered the advice.
At the end of the semester, the class (all 15 or so of us, it was a small college) went to his house for the final readings. I didn’t drink wine at the time, but that’s all he offered and so I accepted a glass of white, remembering his words.
I’m sure you’ve guessed the climax of this story but I spilled the whole glass on his probably-very-expensive rug. No one noticed though, so I pretended like nothing happened. Good advice, as it turns out.
Say! What a great idea for a movie!
I SHOULD have said, “What a great idea for a screenplay.” I was having a tough day yesterday. And anyway, I always think of the right thing AFTER the edit window has passed.
To SAY. The right thing to say.
Black clothes, no tablecloth, life is a dream.
You’re not truly experiencing a bacchanal until you’ve sloshed some red wine onto something expensive and unwashable.
I was teaching a screenwriter’s class this one time and had a little get together at my home. One of those kids spilled a whole glass of white wine on my rug…I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t red wine.
@therealjrn
This reminds me of a story I read somewhere, possibly in the community forums of a small online retailer.
@therealjrn Wow, what a freaky coincidence – LOL
@Kevfin I know!
The incident was the basis of the whole “Terminator” series (after rewrites demanded by the studio.)
gross story alert
In my younger days I went to a wine festival with some buddies. After drinking way too much I went back to a friends house and crashed on his couch. I woke up the next morning to the sound of his dog going to town on the red wine I had puked all over his carpet in the middle of the night. Needless to say, the carpet was replaced not long thereafter.
The moral of the story… no matter how bad spilled red wine is, it’s never as bad as vomited red wine.
Unless you’re a dog.
Hard wood floors and dark furniture
@KMakato That’s my trick!
The only way I spill wine is down my gullet.
I’m just an overfed, long haired leaping gnome of the forest.
@macromeh Not a wine drinker myself, but this is where my mind went first when the topic of wine spills came up.
Beer for me.
That way if you spill it, you can claim it’s pee.
I don’t have a red wine spill problem because it’s hard to spill wine that goes straight from the box to my throat.
@Dweezle Better a box than a bag.