@smyle My 3 are also teens. They do have to pay for their own gas and a portion of their cell phones. But I'm paying for all the school crap, food, clothing, etc. They are crazy expensive.
The part about getting a bajillion pieces of paper memos and notices from schools, half of them asking for small amount of money but insists on cash or cheque, the other half asks me to fill out forms and put my signature somewhere for one waiver or another.
The fucking boredom. You can't watch your favorite shows, play your favorite games or do anything that that requires attention. Going on year 6 of this shit. 6 long long years. Turns out they don't grow up that fast after all. Society lies to you.
The hardest part is the extra work the other members of your family have to do despite the fact that they did the responsible thing and didn't reproduce.
@zhamar Can't eat them? They CAN be eaten. More like you won't eat them due this minor little detail of doing so and you get free room and board for life and no access to meh… Actually there are good reasons why some species eat their young… Believe me I have considered it at times...
True all of the above. However, the absolute worse is when they get old enough to smell themselves and start acting possessed. They turn into rabid zombies around 14 and don't turn human again until 25.
@Kidsandliz girls may come around at 22 or so. If you haven't sewn their mouths together by the time they turn 20 you are pretty much home free. (advice) When they say they want to move out your house; let them, help them and consider it a staycation because like the terminator"they will be back"
@cream116 my girls started their psycho raving bitch phase around 12. There were times I didn't know how much longer they would live. My 14 year old is still in that phase (though not as bad as she was last year). My 16 year old still has her moments. But she has a job, and is working on early graduation as well as taking CNA classes. So at least she's thinking about the future. The boy is a different story, he's been a lazy zombie since birth, has a very part time job (maybe 20 hours a month), and just wishes he'd get paid to play video games.
All of the above . . . . now, I have to say, we tried to have kids in our 20's, but our bodies didn't want to cooperate. We had out daughter in our 30's and I have to say that was a good thing because I seem to have a more relaxed approach to things.
I don't get upset with the small things, but I actually look back and am grateful for the mess because we tried for so hard and for so long to have our child that we treasure her more and more every day.
Now, if you ask my husband why we have a child, it is so we can ride that rides at Universal that require you to have a child for the ride. No adults on the ride unless accompanied by a child.
One thing that is incredibly difficult is trying to explain to your kids why they are not allowed to do something even though their friends are. "Sorry, Johnny, I know that Jimmy's parents allow him to play Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, but you are not." Differing parenting styles can really wreak havoc on raising your kids. It's annoying.
@Teripie I think two-year olds are awesome. Mine was. And, yes, I've been around others (worked church daycare and my wife is a nanny). They're emotionally open, accepting, spontaneous. At least some are.
@Teripie Terrible Twos are nothing .... I don't know why they haven't come up with something for the late 3's early 4's when the kids actually learn how to really be sneaky, and start thinking about talking back!
We purchased our first home and got a deal because the couple that was building it decided to get a divorce. The house was only partially complete and we were going to take up the task of doing it ourselves......Then came Junior! www.mylifeisatrainwreckwithnogoodwayout.com
What I hate is when I make consequences to rules without first really thinking through the unintended consequence for me. For example… sneak out of the house at night and your mattress is on the floor of my bedroom… OMG what a pain in the rear that was for me when I had to follow through with that. The only upside was that that bratchild absolutely, positively hated that and got sick of me responding to her whining with "Don't like the outcome of a choice? Then next time make a choice with an outcome you like better".
@Kidsandliz best consequences we ever thought up was telling teenage daughter she'd have to wear the same outfit to school for a week. Just the threat of that worked wonderfully.
@Thumperchick Yeah that is what I do - no electronics, no phone, no friends except on our front porch (and that is only if there isn't an attitude problem). I found no doorknob worked as well as no door and it was sure a heck of a lot easier to take off and put back on alone than the door. She stuffs a shirt in the hole, tries to wedge it shut and I poke the shirt out and tell her if she wedges it shut it comes off. According to her I am the meanest mom in the entire universe LOL.
@Kidsandliz "... meanest mom in the entire universe...." Congratulations! You've won the parenting game! That line always cracks me up. If they only knew how lucky they were.
@Kidsandliz A 17 year old granddaughter was getting lousy grades because she just didn't do the work. Son made her ride the bus until the next report card. The grades came way up. And the younger boys on the bus were probably having wet dreams.
@pooflady Mine got kicked off the bus (and she likes to ride it) with a couple of others because of what they were doing in the rear. I drove her to school in the ghetto van (1990 grand caravan with peeling paint and a couple of small dents). Drove her right up to the door - front and center, shortly before the bell rang and right as the busses arrived. A real grand entrance. She has not been suspended from the bus since. LOL. On the other hand she swore she'd never learn how to drive if she had to use the ghetto van (only thing we've got so it is that or nothing) and she lived to eat those words.
All of the above, and it never ends. Unemployed, move back home, live off us again. Finally out again. But then come the grandchildren... Makes you remember why you had kids, but without without the lack of sleep (send them home to your kids)
The hardest part of dealing with kids is....I have raised my boys to be courteous and polite. When they come home and someone has been rude to them. I have to give them a lesson on how to deal with discourteous people. My favorite line is "I know you are not talking to me that way!" that is usually enough to bring the rudeness to their senses. It really hurts me when one of them comes home upset and unsure of what to do. I always explain to them that they are not a welcome mat and it is okay to stand up for yourself while being courteous.
@JonT Better get rich with meh or save for retirement then or you when you get old you might be living under a bridge rather than in your kid's basement...
@joelmw Mine is adopted at nearly age 10 and has a boat load of troubles. Right now the definition of success is graduation from high school without being pregnant or being arrested and without me running away from home. I'd suspect that a lot of people are joking to fit the tone of meh.
@katylava So much depends on the child's history, how many placements they have had, previous abuse and malnutrition… some adoptions of older kids work out OK others not so much so… since you work for meh see if they will give you my email address and if you want I can share a lot more (I also used to be a foster parent).
@Kidsandliz God bless you for that. My wife used to work with at-risk kids and their parents (beginning pre-natal)--and is still an active influence in many of their lives. It's staggering to think of the obstacles so many kids in our country face.
@Trin i was just talking to my mom about that on my birthday. she had me at 20 and when she was my age i was 16 (and if you're good at word problems you know how old i am now). i said it's so weird, because now when someone has kids at 20 they are considered way too young... but it was normal then. and i'm like, way less mature than my mom was at my age.
@katylava Atleast with kids, they are able to manage their own poop after a couple of years .... as for the cats, my 16 yr old cat still wont clean her own litter box.....
@lilystang maybe meh will sell those things that train your cat to use the toilet. If they were cheap enough I'd be willing to try that with my cats. Of course with two that drink out of the toilet that might put a crimp in their style LOL
@Kidsandliz i had my cats using the toilet with one of those for almost a year. as soon as we took the last ring out they were like "nu-uh... fuckallota that noise"
@katylava so how much of a pain is it if you permanently leave the last ring there? I see this as a serious money saver in terms of the cost of litter...
I not really putting off career goals, just working on them slowly. Life isn't meant to be easy, regardless of whether or not you have kids. I already was an insomniac before my daughter was born so I am already up late and she's been a good night time sleeper. Now with her turning one year this Monday, I a more content full time freelance writer than I ever was doing near full time grocery retail and part time freelance/contract work for CaptainKYSO (loved that job, just wish it was still around). I figure if I don't get around to writing my first young adult/children's novel until I'm 50 then I'm at least doing as well as C.S. Lewis and Brian Jacques.
NaNoWriMo intimidates me. I so want to do it, but I figure I'd have to take the whole month off. But if I did that, I'd end up watching Law & Order every day.
@JonT@katylava@bluedyn@bluejester Hey we should do a meh NaNoWriMo group! I can't do fiction or, really, any kind of narrative though. But I can string words together--notwithstanding the evidence of my repeated failures at past NaNoWriMo.
@joelmw I might be up for that. I am trying to get stuff produced daily, but a NaNoWriMo and being part of a group this time might be a great motivator.
@joelmw Everyone in my life thinks I can write. I have a BA in English, an MS in Publishing, and I worked for Macmillan for 5 years. Also my personal library is large enough to crush [insert funny group of 5-6 people here]. And yet, I have strong doubts that I have a book in me.
A little late to the party, but the worst thing for me was the constant fighting for my daughter's safety at school. She's had to switch schools for the third time, but now the bullying is stopped. She is pretty, smart, and really nothing stands out as a target, yet she was really bullied bad first from the girls and then boys. All because she wanted to help people around her, she was polite, and loved school. She dumbed herself down hoping it would stop some of it, that didn't work. I guess though really in the end is patience. That's the hardest part having the patience to see them through life and be there for them, even when they act like they don't need you.
What is this, kids.woot?
@Sabre99 if it was there would be clothes that don't fit
The hardest part of having children is having to be responsible for another life (or two in my case) when I can barely be responsible for my own.
I'm disappointed that the last answer wasn't "all of the above"
hardest part is trying to deal with those pesky child labor laws
They are so damn expensive.
@remo28 Exactly what I came here to say. I have three teenagers and my wallet has less in it than my fridge - which is barren.
@smyle My 3 are also teens. They do have to pay for their own gas and a portion of their cell phones. But I'm paying for all the school crap, food, clothing, etc. They are crazy expensive.
@smyle they eat like horses and drink like whales. Those damn teenagers
Where's the "happily childless" option?
@bluedyn I voted for "Losing touch w/ childless friends" as a childless friend. But most of mine are in touch, they are just not as fun these days.
@bluedyn I tell my husband the best gift he ever gave me was a vasectomy.
The part about getting a bajillion pieces of paper memos and notices from schools, half of them asking for small amount of money but insists on cash or cheque, the other half asks me to fill out forms and put my signature somewhere for one waiver or another.
@ckpwong and they are all the exact same forms you filled out last year.
I could say, but it wouldn't be funny.
The fucking boredom. You can't watch your favorite shows, play your favorite games or do anything that that requires attention. Going on year 6 of this shit. 6 long long years. Turns out they don't grow up that fast after all. Society lies to you.
@captrespect Just wait until they are teens… then you will wish they were still 6 as they are easier to keep under your thumb then
Kids sucked till I had 4 of them. Now they all raise each other, like Lord of the Flies. I'm out.
Needs an option for, "I got dogs, realized kids were harder than that, and re-evaluated my options."
@Thumperchick Or cats. Cats or pretty much any pet could fit in that option.
Also missing: "Don't ask me. I managed to dodge that bullet." NPG FTW!
The hardest part is the extra work the other members of your family have to do despite the fact that they did the responsible thing and didn't reproduce.
@Fen_Star Because you can't not love and worry about the little terrors.
@Fen_Star Amen
Kids - can't live without them, can't eat them. Mine are bigger than me, I think they'll eat me in my sleep.
oh .... the question - all of the above and I had to buy a 'meh' robot vacuum to clean up after them
@zhamar Can't eat them? They CAN be eaten. More like you won't eat them due this minor little detail of doing so and you get free room and board for life and no access to meh… Actually there are good reasons why some species eat their young… Believe me I have considered it at times...
@Kidsandliz How would you season them?
Why can't I check each and every box?
Trying to crack their shells.
True all of the above. However, the absolute worse is when they get old enough to smell themselves and start acting possessed. They turn into rabid zombies around 14 and don't turn human again until 25.
@cream116 Not until 25? Are you sure? OMG that is an eternity to wait.
@Kidsandliz girls may come around at 22 or so. If you haven't sewn their mouths together by the time they turn 20 you are pretty much home free. (advice) When they say they want to move out your house; let them, help them and consider it a staycation because like the terminator"they will be back"
@cream116 I have already told mine that this hotel has rules and if they don't like the rules find another hotel… LOL
@cream116 my girls started their psycho raving bitch phase around 12. There were times I didn't know how much longer they would live. My 14 year old is still in that phase (though not as bad as she was last year). My 16 year old still has her moments. But she has a job, and is working on early graduation as well as taking CNA classes. So at least she's thinking about the future. The boy is a different story, he's been a lazy zombie since birth, has a very part time job (maybe 20 hours a month), and just wishes he'd get paid to play video games.
@Kidsandliz good luck with that
Waiting so long for the grandkids, they make all the crap you put up with raising kids worth it...!
The hairballs.
All of the above . . . . now, I have to say, we tried to have kids in our 20's, but our bodies didn't want to cooperate. We had out daughter in our 30's and I have to say that was a good thing because I seem to have a more relaxed approach to things.
I don't get upset with the small things, but I actually look back and am grateful for the mess because we tried for so hard and for so long to have our child that we treasure her more and more every day.
Now, if you ask my husband why we have a child, it is so we can ride that rides at Universal that require you to have a child for the ride. No adults on the ride unless accompanied by a child.
Everything is always broken, but there is never enough money to fix any of it.
One thing that is incredibly difficult is trying to explain to your kids why they are not allowed to do something even though their friends are. "Sorry, Johnny, I know that Jimmy's parents allow him to play Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, but you are not." Differing parenting styles can really wreak havoc on raising your kids. It's annoying.
@jsh139 Another Amen!!!
@jsh139 My husband had my son playing wolfenstein before he was 10. I did not approve, he's still shooting people on his games 8 years later.
@remo28 Haha, I bet all that experience pays off when he plays now!
@jsh139 As an almost step mom...yeah. Difficult.
The "Terrible Twos." They turn into little monsters.
@Teripie But they are still cute then. The terrible teens are a different story.
@Teripie I think two-year olds are awesome. Mine was. And, yes, I've been around others (worked church daycare and my wife is a nanny). They're emotionally open, accepting, spontaneous. At least some are.
@Teripie Terrible Twos are nothing .... I don't know why they haven't come up with something for the late 3's early 4's when the kids actually learn how to really be sneaky, and start thinking about talking back!
The one that comes home from college and drinks all the good beer. That dude pisses me off.
@deichernc when meh sells a beer fridge buy it, stock it, lock it… I hide all sorts of things from bratzilla as she does not believe in asking first.
Everything is so expensive. Is there anyway Meh can set the pricing for school pictures?
@demandred I didn't buy school pics for my teens. They never hand them out, and they all send snapchats with selfies everyday anyway. Why bother?
@demandred I got them at walmart (as relatives demanded them) for a lot less, but the walmart around here no longer has a photo place.
@demandred I just wrote a check for $70 for Kindergarten pictures ...... Kindergarten!!!! I'll have to sell my soul when she gets to high school....
We purchased our first home and got a deal because the couple that was building it decided to get a divorce. The house was only partially complete and we were going to take up the task of doing it ourselves......Then came Junior! www.mylifeisatrainwreckwithnogoodwayout.com
@tacopilot say no more
What I hate is when I make consequences to rules without first really thinking through the unintended consequence for me. For example… sneak out of the house at night and your mattress is on the floor of my bedroom… OMG what a pain in the rear that was for me when I had to follow through with that. The only upside was that that bratchild absolutely, positively hated that and got sick of me responding to her whining with "Don't like the outcome of a choice? Then next time make a choice with an outcome you like better".
@Kidsandliz best consequences we ever thought up was telling teenage daughter she'd have to wear the same outfit to school for a week. Just the threat of that worked wonderfully.
@Kidsandliz My family had the DTTS - No Door, TV, Telephone, or Stereo. The door is the real kicker, hell to a teenage girl.
@Thumperchick Yeah that is what I do - no electronics, no phone, no friends except on our front porch (and that is only if there isn't an attitude problem). I found no doorknob worked as well as no door and it was sure a heck of a lot easier to take off and put back on alone than the door. She stuffs a shirt in the hole, tries to wedge it shut and I poke the shirt out and tell her if she wedges it shut it comes off. According to her I am the meanest mom in the entire universe LOL.
@Teripie I've used that I get to pick her clothing and no makeup (of course the no makeup vanishes as soon as the bus comes)
@Kidsandliz "... meanest mom in the entire universe...." Congratulations! You've won the parenting game! That line always cracks me up. If they only knew how lucky they were.
@Kidsandliz A 17 year old granddaughter was getting lousy grades because she just didn't do the work. Son made her ride the bus until the next report card. The grades came way up. And the younger boys on the bus were probably having wet dreams.
@pooflady Mine got kicked off the bus (and she likes to ride it) with a couple of others because of what they were doing in the rear. I drove her to school in the ghetto van (1990 grand caravan with peeling paint and a couple of small dents). Drove her right up to the door - front and center, shortly before the bell rang and right as the busses arrived. A real grand entrance. She has not been suspended from the bus since. LOL. On the other hand she swore she'd never learn how to drive if she had to use the ghetto van (only thing we've got so it is that or nothing) and she lived to eat those words.
The hardest part? (Really, do I have to be the guy that says this? Y'all disappoint me.)
Screaming yourself hoarse daily.
All of the above, and it never ends. Unemployed, move back home, live off us again. Finally out again.
But then come the grandchildren... Makes you remember why you had kids, but without without the lack of sleep (send them home to your kids)
The hardest part of dealing with kids is....I have raised my boys to be courteous and polite. When they come home and someone has been rude to them. I have to give them a lesson on how to deal with discourteous people. My favorite line is "I know you are not talking to me that way!" that is usually enough to bring the rudeness to their senses. It really hurts me when one of them comes home upset and unsure of what to do. I always explain to them that they are not a welcome mat and it is okay to stand up for yourself while being courteous.
Just want thank everyone in this thread for reinforcing my decision to never had children.
@JonT Better get rich with meh or save for retirement then or you when you get old you might be living under a bridge rather than in your kid's basement...
@JonT My kid is great. As are the kids that my wife nannies. I'm a little disturbed by some of the comments on this thread.
@joelmw I'd rather not take the chance.
@joelmw Mine is adopted at nearly age 10 and has a boat load of troubles. Right now the definition of success is graduation from high school without being pregnant or being arrested and without me running away from home. I'd suspect that a lot of people are joking to fit the tone of meh.
@JonT You get me.
@bluedyn
@Kidsandliz i was thinking of adopting a 10 year-old in about 10 years... you're scaring me
@katylava So much depends on the child's history, how many placements they have had, previous abuse and malnutrition… some adoptions of older kids work out OK others not so much so… since you work for meh see if they will give you my email address and if you want I can share a lot more (I also used to be a foster parent).
@Kidsandliz God bless you for that. My wife used to work with at-risk kids and their parents (beginning pre-natal)--and is still an active influence in many of their lives. It's staggering to think of the obstacles so many kids in our country face.
That way that even though they're in their 20's, they still need money from me sometimes. When I was their age, I was married, with children! ;-)
@Trin i was just talking to my mom about that on my birthday. she had me at 20 and when she was my age i was 16 (and if you're good at word problems you know how old i am now). i said it's so weird, because now when someone has kids at 20 they are considered way too young... but it was normal then. and i'm like, way less mature than my mom was at my age.
How come nobody said "all the poop"... Isn't that the worst part for anybody?
For me, all the poop is the worst part of having cats and dogs.
@katylava That IS the worst thing about pets. Short lifespan is a drag, too, but I try to repress that thought.
@katylava Oh man, the poop. So. Much. Poop.
@katylava Atleast with kids, they are able to manage their own poop after a couple of years .... as for the cats, my 16 yr old cat still wont clean her own litter box.....
@lilystang maybe meh will sell those things that train your cat to use the toilet. If they were cheap enough I'd be willing to try that with my cats. Of course with two that drink out of the toilet that might put a crimp in their style LOL
@Kidsandliz i had my cats using the toilet with one of those for almost a year. as soon as we took the last ring out they were like "nu-uh... fuckallota that noise"
@katylava so how much of a pain is it if you permanently leave the last ring there? I see this as a serious money saver in terms of the cost of litter...
I not really putting off career goals, just working on them slowly. Life isn't meant to be easy, regardless of whether or not you have kids. I already was an insomniac before my daughter was born so I am already up late and she's been a good night time sleeper. Now with her turning one year this Monday, I a more content full time freelance writer than I ever was doing near full time grocery retail and part time freelance/contract work for CaptainKYSO (loved that job, just wish it was still around). I figure if I don't get around to writing my first young adult/children's novel until I'm 50 then I'm at least doing as well as C.S. Lewis and Brian Jacques.
@bluejester I like your attitude. From someone else that wants to write a novel someday, keep up the good work.
@JonT NaNoWriMo is coming up... you can do it!
@katylava I've failed horribly at the last 2 NaNoWriMos, maybe this is the year.
NaNoWriMo intimidates me. I so want to do it, but I figure I'd have to take the whole month off. But if I did that, I'd end up watching Law & Order every day.
@JonT @katylava @bluedyn @bluejester Hey we should do a meh NaNoWriMo group! I can't do fiction or, really, any kind of narrative though. But I can string words together--notwithstanding the evidence of my repeated failures at past NaNoWriMo.
@joelmw i actually hate writing. i just know about NaNoWriMo because twitter.
@joelmw I might be up for that. I am trying to get stuff produced daily, but a NaNoWriMo and being part of a group this time might be a great motivator.
@bluejester @bluedyn @joelmw let's do it! Terrible novels for all.
@JonT @bluejester @joelmw Can't we all just commit to NaLaOrMo? I'm really good at watching Law & Order reruns.
@JonT NaNoWriMoMeh?
@JonT @katylava @bluedyn @bluejester Or just NaNoWriMeh. I'm getting all excited about my impending failure.
@bluedyn I kinda hate Law and Order. I bet you could write something better. ;-)
@joelmw Everyone in my life thinks I can write. I have a BA in English, an MS in Publishing, and I worked for Macmillan for 5 years. Also my personal library is large enough to crush [insert funny group of 5-6 people here]. And yet, I have strong doubts that I have a book in me.
@bluedyn You never know until you've failed repeatedly. I'm still not sure. Or maybe I'm a little crazy.
@joelmw Perhaps you're brave. Wordsmith skills FTW
A little late to the party, but the worst thing for me was the constant fighting for my daughter's safety at school. She's had to switch schools for the third time, but now the bullying is stopped. She is pretty, smart, and really nothing stands out as a target, yet she was really bullied bad first from the girls and then boys. All because she wanted to help people around her, she was polite, and loved school. She dumbed herself down hoping it would stop some of it, that didn't work. I guess though really in the end is patience. That's the hardest part having the patience to see them through life and be there for them, even when they act like they don't need you.