Oh My Goat! What have I dung?
Chronicle of a goat.
I had this crazy idea for a meh scapegoat shit list. Not literally (that would just be gross), but almost literally. Yaknow, like all of the shit that the goat gets blamed for. I don't know why I think this is a good idea. Your asking me why I think it's a good idea feels like a test. No one told me there'd be a test.
Feel free to ignore this thread. Or you can help maintain it. I'm not begging for help. But gods know I need it. I mean, fuck, @Thumperchick, @cengland0 and @lisaviolet are annoying as hell overachievers, what with the gifs and the always being on top of stuff.
I promise to be far more meh.
Oh, and, yeah, @joelmw sometimes talks about himself in the third person. Like Bob Dole. And Julius Caesar. It's weird, because it feels odd to him to speak of the goat in the first person. That feels somehow megalomaniacal. Ha, as if megalomaniacal people don't speak of themselves in the third person.
BTW, here's my chosen goat. He's all laden with the burden of the human quest for meaning. And, see, there's a book. Because words.
And, oh fuck, I'm so not ready for this.
- 10 comments, 22 replies
Just look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, everything's my fault."
@parodymandotcom I love that, I should make a shirt....
@parodymandotcom I already do that
It's going to be a good month...
@joelmw What's brown and sounds like a bell?
@Kidsandliz I've always loved that joke.
I like purple.
I think I'll just sit back and watch, thanks.
(I guess a goat eating popcorn was too much to ask for, so I got a deer.)
@Thumperchick Deer? Is there deer?
Chronicles of the Goat @joelmw
0.1: The Early Hours
@JonT's premature annunciation of @joelmw's goathood.
As noted, by @Kidsandliz, @lisaviolet was ripped off.
@denboy Improperly(?) assigns blame to ex-goat @lisaviolet.
@lisaviolet fingers the dog with some crazy grammars.
@dashcloud: @JonT stealthily fingers @Thumperchick (wait, what?).
@joelmw is caught with his knickers down and speechless
@lisaviolet too is speechless
@joelmw is heartbroken and gifless
Not really a problem (well, other than the picture-posting snafu, that, ahem, @joelmw corrected), but check me out. I'm resplendent.
@Thumperchick (redundantly) blames me for @JonT's jumping the gun.
@mehjohnson is deprived of one more blaming of @lisaviolet.
@denboy: @joelmw besmirches the honorable goathood.
@mehjohnson: miscellaneous fuckups.
@mehjohnson is seconds too slow.
@unixrab shits himself and dodges the bullet:
Poor @lichme :-(
@joelmw said something inappropriate:
meh customer service delays (the holidays and, well, simple human limitations; geez, people, give 'em a break )
@dashcloud pours it on
@joelmw: Where the fuck is @bluedyn?
@joelmw Good God, that was a lot of work. We'll see if that happens again.
@joelmw Congratulations on a brilliant start to your term as goat!
@dashcloud No, you're brilliant
@joelmw @lisaviolet A match made in not heaven, but Meh.
Pile of dung responsible for
I feel bad that @bluedyn isn't here. I know I'm supposed to be taking the blame (and I suppose it's my fault that she's been absent), but she started this nonsense.
Here's what I've noticed so far. @lisaviolet and @Thumperchick keep reminding folks to blame me. Which might be kind of a shitty thing for them to do, except that while waiting for me to come in and accept blame, they usually step up and provide answers and nurture community.
I'm not sure if I should be pissed or grateful.
I'm both, definitely both. Thanks, ladies, old goats (heh heh). Damn you.
This is the month--as I am fond of reminding my friends--of the two-faced god. That seems right to me. Call me Mr Ambivalent--Ambigugoat.
@joelmw @Thumperchick is way better at helping than I am. I just blame you and slap that unix guy.
@lisaviolet You help. And I appreciate it. Especially slapping that eunuchs guy.
@joelmw I can't find the goat gif for this, and it's your fault.
@OldCatLady But the gif wouldn't have audio. This is definitely better. :-)
@OldCatLady Every time I hear a goat scream, I get a Taylor Swift song stuck in my head. Thank you internet. Also, thank goodness I only hear goats scream on the internet, or life would be way weirder.
@Thumperchick Technically it's a sheep, so I'm off topic. Oh, I give up, what Taylor Swift song?
@Thumperchick I can't stop laughing. That's coffeesnort good.
Good Goat in heaven, @joelmw talking about not being able to overachieve like @lisaviolet ? Where's the hope for the rest of us mehdiocre people ?
I guess the goat honor will just swing back and forth between the two...
@mehdiocre_user Don't worry, I promise to disappoint, and make life easier for future goats.