@capguncowboy I said strawberry, not chocolate!

@halfling I said urinal, not toilet! They’re… errr… lemon flavored

@capguncowboy Well sheesh ok at least add some poppy seeds then

@halfling I’ll speak with my urologist

@capguncowboy I don’t know do urinal cakes count? How did you teach them to count? I bet they can play cards though — especially if royalty is in the bathroom - you know royal flush?

@capguncowboy @halfling your urinal cake is for people that are busy going places I guess.

@lichme lick it

@halfling You don’t want me to zoom out any more than this, I promise

@lichme coward

@djslack YES YES YES

@Trillian They do in my book. Got any to share?

@sammydog01 @Trillian YEESS - okay quick sad story, I tried to make choco chip pancakes yesterday but when I opened the choco chip bag and poured it in my batter, it had pantry bugs in it

first time i’ve ever seen bugs in this apartment and they came from some damned choco chips that ruined my pancake batter.

@halfling @sammydog01 @Trillian Well bugs do have protein in them and they would be cooked… just sayin’

Edit: and I can give you two spider recipes, one for cooking a tarantula and one for most of the rest of them.

On the other hand, my kid, who told me these recipes said (after I asked her if this is what she wanted for dinner - and I was thinking please say NO!!), “Spider no good mom. In this country we have chicken.”. Whew! So maybe not?

@halfling @sammydog01
/giphy sad trombone

@sammydog01 you don’t want this one, as I’m pretty sure it’s raw in the middle. Cooked it just long enough to set the sprinkles so they wouldn’t burn.

@halfling @sammydog01 @Trillian when my wife and I were first married, we were visiting her dad and step mom in Alabama. They were old souls for as long as I knew them and were very judgemental of anyone wasting food. One morning, I poured a bowl of Raisin Bran and sat down to eat. I noticed there were little bugs swimming around in it. Out of fear they would judge me for throwing it out, I just sat quietly and ate it anyway. I was grossed out but wanted to put on a good face. My wife’s step mom looked at the bowl and said “did you know there are bugs in there!?” and I said “yeah, but…” and she took the bowl from in front of me and dumped it out while saying “why would you eat bugs!? Are you insane?”

I learned a lesson that day about being the kind of person that does what you want to do instead of trying to please people.

@capguncowboy My wife’s family does not like when you reject their offer of food, it’s disrespectful. I gained 90 pounds since being here. They wonder why…

@capguncowboy @sammydog01 @Trillian OMGGG AAAAAAAAAA you have the mental fortitude of a god…

Not to oust myself as a wee little bitch, but it was all. I could do to muster the courage to toss out all the masa/flour etc in the pantry they’d gotten to, and then wait for my husband to get home to finish cleaning/exterminating them. Now, I’m not typically squeemish about bugs, there was just something about seeing them crawl around in my pancake batter that f’ed me up.

@Kidsandliz NOOO AAAA, my friend was telling me about getting drunk and eating three bags of crickets and I just cannot deal with the idea of it LOL

@capguncowboy @halfling @Trillian That would keep me off pancakes for at least a year. I still can’t look at Hi-C after a childhood carpenter ant incident. AND NOW I’M HAVING FLASHBACKS.

@halfling Listen I felt incredibly lucky my kid didn’t want them (I adopted her from Cambodia at one month shy of 10 yo so yes she had eaten them rather than starve). There was no way I wanted to walk into petsmart and tell them I wanted their biggest and juiciest tarantula but no spider food. In her country the tarantula body can, apparently, be up to 8" across. I don’t even want to think about running into those.

Some years later we read an article about Angeline Jolie taking her son back to Cambodia and eating “native” food. Yeah they were eating tarantula. My daughter, after reading that (use used it for extra credit in some history class in high school) says, “Cambodian people are smart mom. They trick rich people into paying a lot of money to eat what the poor people have to eat”. LOL

@Kidsandliz HAHA oh my gosh, I didn’t know that about your daughter but that’s incredibly sweet. She sounds like she’s going to be a troublemaker but in the best way possible. That’s hilarious!

@capguncowboy @halfling @sammydog01 @Trillian
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

@capguncowboy @halfling @sammydog01 @Trillian
…half a worm. Tshhhhh - boom.

@sammydog01 Simple - get your MIL a meh-themed birthday cake!

JK - but yes absolutely! We’ll probs be judging them Monday-ish so if there’s any stragglers from late-night Sunday / early Monday we’ll count 'em too.

@halfling She’s great but I think even my MIL has her limits. Looks like an upcoming all-nighter!

@metaphore That one slice better be on an overnight fedex package to me because that looks so good

@halfling give me an address and I can hook you up.

@halfling if you get hooked up please forward a crumb to me.

@er1c @metaphore send me a stickynote picture of the missing slice

@metaphore
Does that happen to be a Philadelphia German Butter Cake? It looks so much like one with its soft, gooey top and cakey interior, lol!

I have been searching for an authentic butter cake recipe for like 20 years, but have never found one.
The recipes on the net just don’t get close enough to the real thing unfortunately. I think a person really needs to be from the Philly area to know what I’m talking about.

But…if that’s what it is and you’d be willing to share the recipe (if you made it), I’d be beyond grateful! ❤️❤️

@k4evryng It’s a lemon chess pie. I didn’t make it. I do have an old family recipe for German butter cake that I tried to make many many years ago, doubt it’s quite the same as the Philadelphia one, but I might have to track down the recipe and try again.

@er1c @halfling you don’t want to see the missing piece now. It was last night.

@metaphore thank you! I have never heard of a chess pie…but it looks so similar to butter cake that I may have to search that as well! Philly butter cake has a soft, buttery, almost icing like topping (though it’s baked along with the cake so it gets sort of golden brown, with a sweet bread like interior. The non overly sweet cake compensates for the ridiculously sweet topping, lol! It’s truly amazing and probably a good thing for my waistline that I don’t have a recipe. Hope you find your recipe and it’s good!

@halfling @metaphore Would you mind sharing where you got it? It looks absolutely delicious.

@er1c Trader Joe’s. It’s real good, like a lemon bar but a softer texture and not overpoweringly sweet.

@k4evryng @metaphore Philly(ish) guy here. Yep, I know what you’re talking about. Now I may have to make a side trip one of these days. It’s been way too long for me.

@metaphore Right? It’s so hard to describe and soooo freaking good! It’s apparently very regional and actual recipes for it must be stored in some vault because NO ONE who actually knows how to make it ever gives it up. (and I’ve tried about 15 different ones I’ve found online and none are right…)

(I’m Philly-ish too. Grew up next to the airport in Delco and now I’m west of the city)

@er1c @metaphore
Omg that looks SO tastey!! Too bad we don’t have a Trader Joe’s around my parts!

@metaphore
That looks like a ricotta cheese pie my mom makes! To die for…

@robisodd yeeeesss I love this so much

@juststephen I shall bake a cake from a boxed mix on Sunday. You win.

@juststephen @sammydog01 You are both amazing, ilu

@juststephen If you wish to bake a cake from scratch, first you must invent the universe.

@remo28 Oooh did you have a renovation?

@halfling Replaced some broken ceramic tile with ‘life proof’ laminate flooring. But my husbands ‘3 day’ job has turned into over a week long mess.

@remo28 oh no, that would drive me insane

@tinamarie1974 whoah is it your birthday?? also that looks great!

@halfling no that was my cake from 2019. I made it myself, it.looked horrible, nearly fell over! Was delicious though. White/Almond wedding cake with a ricotta icing. It is a sicilian recipe.

I started making them into cupcakes, they look much better

@tinamarie1974 omggg that looks so good - send me the recipe!! (unless it’s a close guarded family secret, and in that case, marry me)

@halfling not a guarded secret. Ill dig it up and send it to you. For the cupcakes to get the right icing to cake ratio, you gotta hollow out the middle and fill it with icing.

@tinamarie1974 yesssss

@halfling @tinamarie1974 Oooo, I’d love the recipe too! There was a BBQ place around here that used to sell huge slices of Italian Wedding Cake, but they’re gone now. So sad, they were my favorite BBQ too!

@halfling @Kyeh @halfling @Kyeh ok, so I am so sorry I never posted the recipe. No particular reason, just stupid busy and kept forgetting.

Anyway, I ​am not a baker (as evident by the picture lol)

For the cake, I just use a Duncan Hines white cake mix. Add in one tablespoon of almond extract. Bake as directed

For the frosting

• 4 1⁄2 ounces whole milk ricotta cheese. You want a firm ricotta. I get mine from the Italian store.

• 2  tablespoons shortening (I used Crisco, don’t use butter, it makes it too soft to hold up)

• 1  teaspoon vanilla extract (I measure vanilla a little heavy handed)

• Zest of one orange (I use about half of a small orange)

• 1⁄3 cup  sifted powdered sugar (sometimes I need to add more to stiffen the icing more)

• 1  pinch nutmeg

DIRECTIONS

• Beat together ricotta, shortening, vanilla and orange zest in a bowl.

• Add the sugar and nutmeg and beat until smooth and fluffy.

• Keep in the fridge and the icing will firm up

I found it easier to make into cupcakes. I fill the middle with icing and then ice the top to give the correct icing/cake ratio.

If you guys make it, let me know if you like it! It is my absolute favorite!!!

@halfling @tinamarie1974
Yummmm - thank you! Maybe I’ll try to make this for Christmas…

@halfling @Kyeh oh, that is exciting!!!

@mcanavino Is this a bunch of whipped cream? amazing hahaha

@halfling Ha, Thanks. Yeah, with cherry eyes and choc chip mouth.

@halfling @mcanavino I thought they were olives, very relieved to hear they’re cherries.

@er1c @mcanavino It’s beautiful - did you eat it??

@er1c @halfling I did, kind of waxy and glad I blew out the wick first.

@lbcausey cmmmoonnnn, peer pressure, you can do iiiiittt

@capguncowboy OMG!!!

@halfling sorry for the sloppy writing. This old thing doesn’t shoot as straight as it used to

@capguncowboy

Great cake!! Congratulations on your BIG WIN!

/giphy congratulations!

@bluebeatpete This would kill me but I would love every minute to him

@mzzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol sometimes, when I poop, I suspect that’s what it looks like, but it never does.

@mzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
/giphy wtf

@mzzzzzzzzzzzzzz after watching the clip below, it makes sense. And you absolutely nailed it!

@mzzzzzzzzzzzzzz omg I’ve seen ones like this, did you make this one??

@halfling No!!! I found the photo on the Interweb!

@mikibell WHOAH this is incredible!!!

@halfling
@halfling here is my first 2021 “meh” cake…

I think this one might kill you for a variety of reasons… Nuts (reeses dark and milk chocolate), and 5 eggs, 2 sticks of butter, 2 cups of sour cream!
Meh…

Mehsed up…

@halfling still no idea what I am going to do for birthday cake 2021… But someone asked for strawberries? Still not cake i know!
Mehed some cookie bars too…before and after…

@halfling I couldn’t come up with something macabre… Sorry long weekend…I also forgot how much fingernails impact smooth fondant!!!

@weenradio that is AWESOME!!

POKER! JOKER! NOT MEDIOCRE! AWESOME!

@weenradio That is fantastic. Well done, kid!

@weenradio

LOOKS DELISIOUS, GREAT JOB!!

@weenradio She decorates a cake better than I ever have and I am well over 18 yo.

@weenradio That looks amazing! Beautiful colors, and the white icing is soooo smooooooth

@weenradio That is beautiful and so is she!

@pgravi damnit, I was going to do a pixel cake tomorrow. Brilliant!

@pgravi That’s so great! What is Irk made of?

@Kyeh Fondant, food coloring, a a touch of dysfunction. Thank you!

@pgravi Oh, fondant. Aka non-toxic modelling clay, in my opinion - but he looks terrific!

@pgravi
Congratulations, great cake!!
The so called loser WINS BIG!

/giphy congratulations!

@pgravi Yeah but it was probably already dead anyway…

@AttyVette this looks like you’re trying to summon an Irk demon. I love it.

@Kidsandliz you never know — one persons definition of a pretty or beautifully decorated cake is another persons idea of well, meh!

@AttyVette Oh I already know mine will be considered meh. It will be a “jury rigged” one.

@Kidsandliz I don’t know what would be more perfectly “meh” than a mug cake!

@mossygreen Well I made my meh cake and it has a meh photo cutting off the top of the birthday hat due to multitasking - pushing cats back with one foot while taking the photo. If I hadn’t done that all you would have seen is a cat tongue and cat head. Of course the second I looked at the photo and saw I had messed up a cat had it’s face in the cake licking up the ice cream icing. Since i the cake was chocolate instead of taking a photo of that I pushed the cat away (chocolate makes them sick and I didn’t want to deal with puking cat from taking a bite of cake too). All in all meh was had by all.

@aquastardreamer That looks like Gary from Spongebob

/image gary from spongebob

@capguncowboy

@aquastardreamer It’s a cat cake. Right? And we know how many cat photos get posted to the forums.

@aquastardreamer @Kidsandlis
1

Tucker

@Lynnerizer You should post him in AcraigL’s shirt giveaway thread.

@mossygreen
Here’s a shot with the kit, sorry I do not have an action shot of my mother wielding her trusty icing spatula. We’re going to eat it now.

@mossygreen
Mothers ALWAYS make EVERYTHING all better! Yum!

@mossygreen That is so meh all around! Congrats on a job well done!

@Thumperchixk I felt so guilty lol I put the ice cream lid back on and put it back in the freezer!

@mehrillo try turning your phone sideways and then posting. The posting box should then show the posting landscape box on the bottom of the box (landscape view is sideways on your cell phone). Others helped me by telling me how to do this but if you reply to someone else, I didn’t see the picture box just FYI.

@AttyVette thank you very much I appreciate it

This also serves as my audition for the next season of Netflix’s Nailed It.

@djslack
Okay, I don’t say “LOL” unless it’s literally true, you really do have me giggling out loud - that’s TOO FUNNY!

PANS! GLANDS! CRAYONS! AWESOME!

@mehrillo oh super cute

@mehrillo Yummm! That’s the one I would most like to eat.

@Kidsandliz Dratted cats!

Oh shit. I forgot to put my kidsandliz and the date on that and I can’t take another photo of the actual cake. At least you know I did it within the time limit as the irk birthday hat is there and actually in the photo so no internet stolen cake.

So to meet the rest of the criteria I retook it off my computer screen with my user name and date made. Maybe this bothers me more than it should… Sigh.

@Kyeh Well in two rooms it is easier for them to get into everything. Of course even if the place were bigger likely they’d still collect in the room I am in as they do that anyway unless there are bats, lizards, ants, moths… outside the window/on the windowsill. They apparently like those things more than me. Right now all 4 cats are within 4 feet of me, one keeps trying to get on my lap and on top of the computer keyboard blocking the screen.

@speediedelivery looks delicious

@speediedelivery That’s a cheesecake?

@Kyeh @tinamarie1974 It was not as tasty as I had hoped but pretty good. Hostess cherry cheese danish that I saw when I ran to the store for something else. Spouse is trying to eat reasonably and I try not to have temptations laying around. Now I want a traditional NY style.

@speediedelivery @tinamarie1974
Oh, nice!

@sammydog01 I see using the hidden toothpick for structure technique!

@raccoon81 Learned that on the Great British Baking Show.

@sammydog01 you do NOT want to interfere with my chance to get on Nailed It

<Goes to study Showgirls>

@sammydog01 This is the BEST THING I have seen in a while! If this does not win something, then I have lost all hope for all things Meh!

@cbilyak It looked different in my head somehow.

@sammydog01 your commentary on watching baking shows for 2 years in preparation truly added to your post. You are awesom3!

3 year old cake

@halfling I’d like to thank the CS team for recognizing my very clear, super-artistic talents (that’s what it is – definitely not just a twisted sense of humor) and also my parents for not drowning me in the river like I know they want(ed) to do.

Seriously though, I’m honored

@halfling Thanks for having the games!

@halfling thanks for the fun!

Fwiw my cake was terrible and went straight in the garbage after the photo shoot. I can’t recommend actually eating snack cakes chosen on the basis of shape, size, color, and cheapness without regard to flavor, moistness, freshness, or other important cake qualities. They at least weren’t toxic, but they were not delightful But as cake pixels they performed pretty well.

@capguncowboy’s cake can be found here

@pgravi’s cake can be found here

Congrats to the winners. All the cakes here look amazing.

@pgravi I love your little irk sculpture. You should make some out of clay.

@sammydog01 Thank you! I might give it a try!

@pgravi @sammydog01 DO IT.