Mediocre Fantasy Movie League: End of the Summer Season
13Some nerds took the nerdiest non-nerd thing and nerded it up even more, giving us the Fantasy Movie League. Imagine Fantasy Football, but you own a movie theater instead of a football team, and your points are determined by what movies you put in your theater and the weekend box office results.
The Summer “season” has already started, but I made a Mediocre League anyway (Password: wearemeh). Obviously I’m going to win but you should join and aim for second place!
Accounts are locked until 3PM 7pm central Monday, at which point you can add new movies to the 8 screens in your theater until Friday morning.
I haven’t actually played this so it might suck and be really boring and awful (much like Fantasy Football) but probably not!
Here is a Beginner’s Guide, and here is the link to join the Mediocre League (Password: wearemeh)
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I’m in!
/giphy i’m in
Dibs on Finding Dory
I signed up but I can’t guarantee I’ll remember this exists in 90 minutes.
@darksaber99999 same.
I want to get in but it’s giving me issues registering.
NEVER MIND, TIME TO GET OWNED PLEBIANS
/giphy i’m da bes
/giphy me too
Probably should post what your theater name is because otherwise this is going to get very confusing.
Mine is Darksaber99999’s Screw It - Bee Movie 24/7 Theater
Remember the Alamo Draftdodger House.
Ocular Libations.
I’m having a hard time understanding why it’s ever the right move to do anything other than a theater full of the #1 movie, but maybe that’ll clear up once we play.
Oh, and if it wasn’t obvious, I am The Daveplex Meh-O-Rama
@dave According to the rules you have a budget for what you can add. That may be the only restraint on this.
@dave Apparently there’s bonuses in play that make that a no-go. I didn’t entirely get all of it but it has something to do with “out performing”. So if a box office smash does as well as expected it has a x1 multiplier, but if some random movie explodes registers it’d have a x9 multiplier.
The 4 PM time was a lie. Site says 8 PM EDT for week 4.
It drives me nuts though that everywhere is Monday this and Monday that like I magically know which Monday
@darksaber99999 ugh come on.
/giphy challenge accepted
@Moose I trust you’ll post here when it’s open each week to remind us?
/image pretty please
@medz No promises but I’ll try!
@Moose “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Aw, should’ve called my theater “Pee Wee’s Playhouse”.
/giphy missed oppurtunity
@medz Account > Settings lets you change your name.
@moose this sounds an awful lot like the hollywood stock exchange site I was on many years ago, although that modeled the whole process from movie announced to the box office.
You are now free to make your picks! Finding Dory costs most of the weekly budget…
@humper - this is up your alley.
/giphy i’m all the way up
I’ve never fantasy anythinged before but this seems simple enough. I’m in.
“Hey, these pictures move!”
@djslack I haven’t either so I’m excited. Not that I think I’ll do well but I know I’d do better than if it were a football fantasy league. Good luck everyone! Mehrican Cinema and Bait Shop
Just realized I never posted the theater name. I’m “Hal’s I’m Afraid I Can’t Screen That, Dave”
I’ll give it the ol’ College try. At least for 1 week.
Let’s doo eet!
Reminder: you have until tomorrow morning at 9:00am Pacific time to lock in your movies!
The picks are in and public! 9 people chose the incredibly expensive but greatly anticipated Finding Dory, while 13 others chose to run Central Intelligence as their headliner. Will Central Intelligence crumble under the weight of the almighty Pixar, or are the Dory 9 a bunch of suckers? We’ll find out on Monday (but it’s totally the latter).
Meanwhile @Dave and (I assume) @Barney forgot to add any movies to their screens.
@Moose Nope, not me. I haven’t a clue about what you are talking about. (I guess my theater should have been “Clueless Barney’s”.
Edit: What was the name of the theater?
@Barney Aisle of Purple Cinema
@carl669 Ahh, someone with exquisite taste.
@Moose So I beat at least two people. Awesome!
@Barney It’s me, your fellow purple-lover. I haven’t been to a movie in a least 12 years, so I don’t have high expectations of doing well. I hope that doesn’t give purple a bad name.
@heartny I’m right there with you. I find that I no longer have the attention span to sit through a movie.
@Barney I have the attention span but not the bladder control.
@SSteve Ha! Perhaps it would help if you cut back on the booze?
@Barney That thought never crossed my mind. I’d rather just watch movies on DVD and hit pause when necessary.
Too late for week #4 but the Mehroccan Academy for the Visual Arts and Stuff will be kicking ass starting Monday!
If I remember.
@Mehrocco_Mole OK, ok. Week #12 and I finally remembered before the Friday deadline.
GAME ON!
Fools! I got this in the bag. It’s Father’s Day weekend! The age of kids that would go to movies with their daddy are going to see: Finding Dory, Angry Birds, and the Jungle Book. Y’all are hosed.
/giphy celebrate prematurely
@medz I would go see a movie with my dad…
@jbartus angry birds right?
Wow. This is way too easy. Did the rest of you even try this week?
You are all welcome to close up shop and come to my movie hole for all of your movie needs.
@bruceoite Nope, you show way too many chick flicks.
@sammydog01 I show what brings in the dough
@bruceoite Are the estimates that accurate?
@darksaber99999 No idea. I logged in, saw I was on top and came straight here to bask in my estimated victory.
/I Quit
/tableflip
Well, it looks like I claimed my victory too early. I did not count on the number of people who enjoy the humor of a large muscular man hanging out with a small short man.
That’s what I get for listening to algorithms. I should’ve left it how I picked it on Monday.
The weekend has come and gone and as most are now aware, this game is bullshit and rigged. Seriously? I’m in 13th place? This will not stand.
Anyway this week should be very interesting with a handful of new releases, including Free State of Jones (Matthew McConaughey vs the Civil War), The Shallows (Blake Lively vs Jaws), The Neon Demon (Elle Fanning vs Keanu Reeves I guess?), and of course Independence Day 2 (Jeff Goldblum vs dumb nostalgia). Finding Dory is still the most expensive option, though ID4-2 is not far behind. Good luck and don’t forget to update your theaters!
@Moose quit complaining, i’m all the way back here in 15th because APPARENTLY people in the U.S. just don’t appreciate Warcraft for the piece of visionary artwork it is
@harrison
I normally don’t pay attention to critic reviews, however, I just looked and saw that critics were not exactly thrilled with Warcraft
@harrison ohhhh 15th?! You are so far ahead of me I can barely see the lights from your cinema.
@Ignorant to be fair the lights here are pretty dim
/image hal 9000
Hey! Last place among people who actually put films in theaters! Gooooo Me!
Don’t forget to make your picks before tomorrow morning at 9:00am Pacific time! (If you want me to @ mention you for future reminders, let me know)
Or they could subscribe to this thread and get ALL THE UPDATES!
@Moose Fuck that, last time I messed with it last minute I got double digit place’d.
I picked movies I would go to because research is too much work.
That stupid shark movie was the big winner? Seriously?
yay! i moved up to 8th place! take that you 9th place hoser!
This is dumb.
I think this week will be a lot more challenging.
@hollboll I really want to participate, but don’t want to read how to play. Maybe I will break down and edumacate myself on the game later tonight.
@conandlibrarian Pick 8 movies. Stay under budget. How to Play explained.
Yes, the weekend is over and a stupid shark movie was the winning bet. With a large, sudden marketing push, The Shallows ushered in the week of Shark Time On TV
with surprising numbers. ID4 did a measly $41.6 million, and Dory dropped 45.78% but still earned $73.2 million. Congrats to @Chadp who picked a Perfect Week with 7x Shallows and 1x Conjuring. This table is ranked by total; for the weekly ranking click here)
This weekend has three new releases: the Purge, Tarzan, and Spielberg’s The BFG. It is also a four-day weekend with July 4th, so pick extra wisely I guess?
/giphy i’m number two!
@Moose Well, at least I didn’t come in last.
@Moose These numbers are off somehow. My real total is $225M ($144M last week + $81M this week)
@darksaber99999 Aww shucks, yeah you’re right. I had started this yesterday, and somewhere between then and now the numbers got mixed. It should be correct now.
/giphy i’m number eight!
/giphy I’m number fourteen!
/giphy I am number four
@Moose Oh great, now I am last after the adjustment. Sadness.
@heartny Go purple!
/image I’ve fallen to eleven
Not sure how I missed this for so long. I’m in.
Don’t forget to update your list (and if you’re like me, change like six more times between now and tomorrow morning)!
/giphy The Purge
/giphy Tarzan
/giphy BFG
/giphy independence day
@harrison dang, i didn’t realize the new starfox game looked so good
@harrison I remember hearing that fans were really mad about changes in this one, didn’t realize it was just the furry community
@Moose I loved everything about the new one except the controller schemes. It feels like wearing a condom so thick it stops x-rays.
Let’s hear it for The Purge! Sickos of the world unite!
Most everybody suspected that The Purge would be the best performer this weekend, but stupid bullshit Tarzan swung in from out of nowhere to take the top spot. Congrats to @DrunkCat for calling that and getting this week’s win!
This week introduces Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates, Our Kind of Traitor, and Swiss Army Man, with The Secret Life of Pets headlining. BFG has also been laughably knocked down several pegs.
So the question is, will Pets be worth it or is Dory still drawing the kids in?
@Moose Fucking finally I get a win.
@Moose Yeah, I’m not last!
@Moose Those numbers are impossible to read. Can you not afford commas?
@ChadP literally my theater right now.
@ChadP I’m not nearly as bold as you are.
I didn’t run SLoP this weekend so I feel pretty good all things considered pulling in 90M versus #1 at 117M with SLoP, Independence Day, and six Swiss Army Man screens.
Surprise surprise, a new-release cartoon that has been advertised for like 3 years was the best performer. Also everyone in the meh office but @Chadp had way more confidence in Swiss Army Man than they should have. Congrats to @MrGlass for taking first place in his second week!
I saved up all week to afford some commas for @SSteve.
This week, Pets is still ridiculously expensive, and Ghostbusters 3 should be interesting after all the controversy surrounding its brave stance against society’s idea that jokes should be funny. There is also The Infiltrator and Sultan, whatever those are.
Pets vs Ghostbusters is a tough call, but what may end up being much more important this week are the filler theaters. What do you think?
@Moose Wow, I did so badly in the global contest I didn’t even bother checking the league ranks. Should have never doubted the power of farting corpses.
@Moose Ghostbusters is going to be a repeat of Jem.
@DrunkCat Dunno, reviews of it are positive…
@MrGlass So were reviews of Driv3r.
@MrGlass Did you do research because that’s cheating.
@sammydog01 I considered looking up theater counts but didn’t get to it. I was busy last week
And it looks like nothing changed this week, except @MrGlass and his all Independence Day theater tanked. Congrats @Dave on the Tarzan numbers.
@sammydog01 I wouldn’t call #11 tanked. Underperformed, certainly.
/giphy bomb
@MrGlass Ewww! OK, the top scores weren’t separated by that much anyway.
/giphy never mind
@sammydog01 By the way, the “never mind” giphy came up with an image that put yours to shame but I’m pretty sure it would have been censored by TC.
So this week’s perfect lineup was a little weird.
First, you needed one The Ghostbusters. Makes sense, big new release, why not.
Next? That damn Tarzan movie. Who is seeing this? Why does it keep doing so well?
After that, you have six screens to fill. With so many new releases, surely you would pick one of th-WRONG IDIOT JUST FILL IT UP WITH THE SHALLOWS BECAUSE LIKE A SHARK THIS MOVIE KEEPS COMING BACK AND WRECKING EVERYTHING.
@dave @Darksaber99999 had very similar approaches:
Tarzan surprisingly did $100,000 better, giving @dave the top spot this week. Congrats!
Up this week is an overpriced Star Trek Beyond, Ice Age: Collison Course (the fifth movie in this series about mass extinction), Lights Out, Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie, and of course, Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.
Hillary’s America opened last week in three theaters and already did $74,813, so it seems like a very obvious choice. Pretty specific target market, but why it is priced so low is beyond me. Anyone have a counterpoint?
@Moose Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel did better opening weekend than Ghostbusters (2016). (With less theaters even)
@DrunkCat I think that’s less of a lesson about Ghostbusters and more of a lesson about garbage heavily marketed to children
@harrison That… That makes the new Ghostbusters sound even worse lol.
Just in case @Moose is too busy to remind you, get your picks in before tomorrow morning.
“Wow, do I not understand this FML game for having won it last week” said @dave a week ago, but this past weekend he had literally the best possible lineup one could have. Congrats @dave! Now please stop being a cheater.
This weekend has a lot of new releases, most of which I’ve never heard of: Jason Bourne, Bad Moms, Nerve, Cafe Society, and Captain Fantastic.
Normally here is where I would post what I think, but my ideas and opinions are bad and I don’t know what to make of this one, so I ask you: what are your thoughts for this weekend?
@Moose I didn’t even see the winning movie in the select list when I did my line-up last Tuesday.
@Moose I’m going with Bourne but I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. Congrats Dave!
@Moose I really didn’t do well this past week…
I am choosing Star Trek as the winner for this week. I feel it has what it takes to win again.
How many people did Dave hire to work on choosing his picks?
@medz he didn’t hire people to help make his picks. He’s hired lots of people to fill the theaters of the movies he’s picked.
Last weekend, you needed a lot of nerve to win.
I had too many though; had I swapped out one of my Nerves for a Pets, I would’ve had a perfect week, buuuut I didn’t and got third place. Congrats to @chadp on taking his second weekly win!
Now we need to talk about @ronmprime.
This is what his lineup has been through the weeks.
There is a very clear trend here. Ron, can I call you Ron? Ron, you’re allowed to pick different movies. You don’t have to only choose from your initial choices. What will you do when Dory leaves theaters? Quit? Come on, Ron.
I shouldn’t single you out though, you aren’t the only one who is doing this. @mehbee and @Humper have also only played the same movies over and over again.
Okay so every week I think “man this is definitely the toughest week” but I think this week legitimately is. Suicide Squad is getting the Kevorkian treatment from reviews and I expect will tank pretty hard, but there will certainly be enough people who heard all the hype but missed the reviews, so Friday might not be a bad bet, but boy is it an expensive one. If you don’t pick Suicide Squad, then the only other new option is 9 Lives.
Help me.
@Moose Pretty easy choice for me.
@Moose I randomly click until it gets close to $0 left. That may explain my place in the standings.
Boo. Apparently all my picks didn’t save last week.
@medz you are not alone.
What % of league players actually see any films IRL? Just wondering.
@f00l We saw Jungle Book IRL, but it was a free private showing provided by one of our employers. (we bailed like an hour in) We saw Finding Dory and made it through the whole way. We may go see secret life of pets because the love spawn keeps yappin’ about it.
@f00l I haven’t been to the movies in over 12 years nor do I have a TV, so I can honestly I have seen none of them IRL. I choose my movie picks based on the poster, as I choose my wine based on the label
@heartny
Sounds good to me. I actually own a few older tv’s. They’re in storage cause I never feel like getting them out.
Own some blu-ray’s too, which is stupid since I don’t unwrap them.
Films…have seen a few tentpoles in theater (Avatar, Inception, HP series, Tolkien stuff, SW).
Laziness rocks, so streaming rocks. Am about 15 years behind schedule tho.
@f00l I don’t see many. Last theater trip was a few months back, and I don’t recall offhand what we watched.
I also get that to win in this game you should stack the theater with the one winning film where possible but I can’t bring myself to play it that way. I don’t feel like I’m doing too badly considering how little I actually know about current movies.
@f00l I saw Dory, Tarzan… possibly others I’ve forgotten. I had tried to see Ghostbusters on a whim (was not going to pay $18.50 for a 3D ticket just to kill 2 hours) and have plans to see Suicide Squad Friday and SLoP at some point.
That’s just recent. I generally go about once a month.
@f00l I took my 15 year old daughter to Deadpool. Oops. I haven’t been to a movie since. So maybe once a year?
@f00l Last time I went to the theater tickers were $8 for adults.
for people that go to the theater, keep an eye on costco or sams club. they occassianally sell a 10-pack of AMC gold tickets for really cheap. i bought one 5 years ago on sale (found on slickdeals) for $60. still have a couple left.
@f00l @DrunkCat @sammydog01
Last movie was Inside Out. Went to Movie Tavern Grill for matinee. Tickets were $3.50.
Suicide Squad is playing tonight, $5.50.
I think the business plan is to make money on real food & drinks (not just concessions) and just break even on movie
@compunaut As far as I understand it theaters don’t even see a revenue of a movies ticket sale for the first couple weeks. That’s why snacks are so overpriced.
@DrunkCat Just pointing out that there are still first-run theaters with tickets prices < $10. Way less
@compunaut Yeah, one is called my movie room.
@DrunkCat
Are you inviting us over? I can bring popcorn. Or beer.
Last week I finally won one hooray anyway this week we have Pete’s Dragon and Sausage Party and something about Florence so don’t forget to set your lineup. Also Suicide Squad is still really expensive for some reason?
@Moose I’m just waiting for that one movie I didn’t see in the grid to win BP.
Fifteenth? This game sucks.
@sammydog01 It’s better than being 20th. I need to try a different dart board to make my picks.
@sammydog01 You’re telling me. That stupid dragon was a terrible bet, I got 14th.
@Moose I went for the sausage and look where it got me. I should probably stop picking all the pet movies too.
@sammydog01 17th with my all-kids-movies lineup
Did anyone see who was number 1 this week? cause I’m not sure who is #1 this week…
/giphy oh is it me?
@MrGlass I didn’t see who was first. Probably some jerkface.
/giphy jerk face
Hey guys I suck at this now but congrats to @MrGlass for the win, make your picks now before it’s too late!
I’m up to ninth. Yay? Hey, @hollboll, did you forget to do something on Thursday?
@sammydog01 I tried to change it last minute on Friday morning but it locked me out mid-change.
@hollboll
/giphy oh no
Congrats to @darksaber99999 for the win last week! And shame on everyone that @hollboll managed to beat despite only playing two movies.
This is it, everybody. The final weekend of the summer season.
Here is the current ranking with totals:
The average gap between ranks is only about 30 million, so the final ranking can vary pretty dramatically. Not for me though, I’m definitely going to get first place and buy myself a trophy.
This is also a unique week because we have three new releases and they are all very cheap; the most expensive movie this week is Don’t Breathe at $216.
Good luck everyone!
sweet! i only need to make around $500 million to take first place. come on Sausage Party!!
@dave, is everything okay? I’m looking at your cinema history, and, well:
@harrison It’s all part of my master plan called “I forgot this thing was a thing.” I’m surprised it filled in anything.
@dave Ah yeah, I assumed it just blanked out your cinema if you didn’t do anything
My average weekly standing is 8.6 but my overall position is fourth. Here’s to bothering to click a few buttons once a week.
/giphy click buttons
It’s the end of the season! Congrats to @DrunkCat for running a perfect week to win and close us out!
I will be starting a new thread for the Fall Season, but it will still be the same league so no need to sign up again or anything.
Finally, here are the totals.
@Moose Thanks for running this- it was a ton of fun.
@Moose I am perfect, thanks for noticing.
@DrunkCat Looks like @Moose was perfect too. Nice job guys.
@Moose This time I will actually start participating week one, instead of week 6.
@DrunkCat Well done, Dr…