Let's Play Mafia, Day 3: They can't kill us if we kill us first!
8The Story So Far:
Troll’s Butte is a small town in the foothills of Colorado, settled by disillusioned miners. A gang of bandits, looking to wipe out the town, has recruited three locals to start killing townspeople one-by-one. The townspeople, determined to take justice in their own hands, have been voting for which of their neighbors they think is a traitor, and executing them summarily. They have not had much luck. After accusing the innocent @Sabre99, the bandits attacked @PlacidPenguin and left them to die on their horse. Then the locals turned on @Medz, whose only crime was trying to hunt down the truth. @Kevin was the next one on the bandit’s chopping block, left tied to a water wheel for elk fodder. Will the locals survive or will the bandits be victorious?
- 27 comments, 321 replies
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Well folks, here we are again. Now, we may not have been successful yesterday, but you can’t live life with regrets. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t fire, after all, so let’s try this again. Who thinks they know who done it?
ATTN: @therealjrn, @sammydog01, @PlacidPenguin, @medz, @djslack, @RiotDemon, @CaptAmehrican, @tnhillbillygal, @metaphore, @Kevin, @tinamarie1974, @amehzinggrace, @Sabre99, @stardate820926, @DrunkCat
Dibbs on that there purty horse afore @therealjrn claims her.
It’s that blasted @tnhillbillygal, I tells ya! She says nothing in the first town hall meeting until her name is mentioned and then goes on about being some innocent choir girl. I’m not buying it.
Before Saber was killed, he wanted to accuse @PlacidPenguin
I think we should consider this because to honor the innocent man we killed.
@Kevin So we shud dig im up and shoot im agin?
Well, we can fire off another shot in the dark or we can get to figgerin’ out who may of done this. Anyone what seen anything yesterday that might point us in the direction of who might’ve offed our mumblin’ penguin friend, speak up?
Also, shouldn’t all our replies to today’s meetin’ be up here in this string of discussion to keep the mess down?
@Kevin Make sense to me. @PlacidPenguin to the gallows!
@DrunkCat @Kevin @PlacidPenguin Two votes fer hangin a ded body? This town gone plum crazy?
@sammydog01 Oh I must’ve missed that part of the newspaper. Ho’ boy, lucky that murderer saved us from making another embarrassing decision.
@djslack Gosh durned town mayor says discussion all here- mayhaps we start a comment for each townie we be accusin too? Of corse ahm jus a teefless danse hawl gal.
@sammydog01 I’m just trying to keep up with all y’all here, ain’t about to run for no mayor of murderville, u-s-a, no sir.
This is a town meeting after all, not some kind of gabfest like when the sewing circle gets together… There’s a chance some of us might want to hear some of this stuff.
@DrunkCat Playing the role of village idiot, eh? Is that a clever way to keep your name out of any guilty accusations? Tell me, didja ever buy any of that there meth from Hryram? (R.I.P.)
Edit: after all, poor @PlacidPenguin (RIP) did point the finger at @DrunkCat yesterday. Not to mention, @DrunkCat also was the first to suggest @Sabre99 (RIP) should be strung-up. Quiet the coincidence… (strokes chin)
@djslack Well organiz aint my thang and them sewing gals like @amehzinggrace never done invite me…
I’m thinking by @medz logic…that we have some townfolk that maybe are too quiet…
@sammydog01 You always snarl when I approach you…ever since I asked you POLITELY to keep your cows on your side of the fence and out of my garden you have had a grudge against me…
@medz Starting to sound to me like you’re the one that’s gonna be needing that alibi soon to pay for all those mighty accusations.
@DrunkCat Dag gummit, somebody has got to root out the killer!
@DrunkCat @medz I tend to agree with @medz…if we don’t try and root out the killer…we’re only going to keep getting killed…
@drunkcat - why should we not believe that you are the bandit?
@amehzinggrace 'Cause I ain’t.
@DrunkCat so you wouldn’t lie to us?
My goodness. Here I just got to town and see all y’all causing such a ruckus…Why y’all hollering so mu…oh. Somebody killed the fluffy penguin…poor, simple-minded, pony loving penguin. I never did understand a word out of penguin’s mouth but that big ole tooth-hole gapin’ grin was the sweetest thang. I sure do hope we get to keep some of them pictures he took hanging up in the saloon to remember the dear little waddler by.
Seems like @medz is back at it tryin’ to stir up conflict amongst neighbors. You know what they say about the hen cacklin’ in the coop, don’t ya? I noticed that there new pocket watch you just put away too medz. Ole undertaker pay you for this morning’s harvest?
@tnhillbillygal That weren’t no pocket watch. It’s a silver buffalo chip (not life-sized, mind you) that I carry with me as a good luck charm. It reminds me of Kansas in trying times like these.
@amehzinggrace Oh I would, if I had something to lie about. But I’m in the blind just like everyone else.
@DrunkCat That’s pretty fair
@medz @tnhillbillygal Ah do believe @therealjrn already git that poor Fluffys picket watch. Mayhaps he be the bandit? He shore likes them shiny thangs.
Y’all are going to have to excuse me. I’ll be mourning that silly penguin. He was such a help to me. I can’t believe he’s gone.
If you need me, I’ll be out behind his favorite tree digging him his final burial place.
@RiotDemon Don’t be runnin’ off now. You still gonna have to vote for someone. I trust you can agree that @tnhillbillygal is not as innocent as she leads on.
@medz I jest don’t know what wags more, your finger or your chin.
Based on my analysis of their own comments (or lack thereof) as well as which comments they “liked”, I reckon the following parties are guilty to some extent: @tnhillbillygal, @CaptAmehrican, @amehzinggrace, @DrunkCat
Then again, I’m just a simple former buffalo groomer and not some sort of human bloodhound. Sure would be nice if this town had a sheriff who was more inclined to do his job. Matter of fact…nah…I suppose we are meant to assume the sheriff would never commit such crimes.
@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @medz @tnhillbillygal again @medz… let me hold up that mirror for you
@amehzinggrace I was just gonna say. Looks more like a personal hit list to me. @medz is whodunnit
@Kevin sure does have a lot bad to say about the dear departed. First all those terrible, slanderous, accusations against our beloved Hyram and now he can’t let that poor penguin rest in peace. All these lies he keeps spreading make it seem like he’s trying to justify the murders.
@amehzinggrace @DrunkCat so your official defense is I must have dunnit because I said you dunnit. Ok.
@metaphore when did @placidpengiun die?
@Kevin Sheriff Moose just told us all about it at the start of this town hall meeting. Maybe you were late because you were too busy cleaning up from last night!
@amehzinggrace @medz It’s ironclad ain’t it.
@medz based on your own words…“Based on my analysis of their own comments (or lack thereof) as well as which comments they “liked”, I reckon the following parties are guilty to some extent: @tnhillbillygal, @CaptAmehrican, @amehzinggrace, @DrunkCat”
@medz…you haven’t been silent…so by YOUR own analysis anyone who comments or nods in some agreement is guilty…so that puts you square in our boat too
@metaphore ah! i see it now – thanks
@Fluffy! We will avenge you!
/rifles through Fluffy’s pockets…oh, nice watch.
Ahm athinkin that scoundrel @medz is awful accusing of oter folks. Mayhaps he bein a bandit?
@sammydog01 imma feared you might jest be rite. That @medz surely seems fast on the trigger in da 'cuesing department.
@sammydog01 I recon @medz has been acuzin since the beginnin…seems fishey to me!
@sammydog01 @therealjrn If I were a bandit, why didn’t I vote to hang an innocent person along with the rest of y’all? The fact is, @sammydog01, @therealjrn, and @tnhillbillygal all voted to execute an innocent person. Are the 3 of you working together? Trying to protect one of your own?
@medz @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal Jest 'member @medz, when you point yer finger, three more are pointing back at you!
@therealjrn (placating tone) I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.
@medz @sammydog01 @therealjrn @tnhillbillygal
Maybe we should be asking everyone to prove why they aren’t a bandit?
@amehzinggrace @medz @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal Well I can’t be the bandit, I’m innocent.
@medz @sammydog01 @therealjrn @tnhillbillygal being innocent doesnt really factor in now does it as 2 innocent ppl are dead…
@amehzinggrace True but only one of um be our fault.
@medz added my name to the suspect list as if others had suggested it. This is fake news
@medz is clearly showing discontent and as former goat herder and simple ferry captain I can not stand for this.
@CaptAmehrican As the operator of the only Turkish bath for 100’s of miles, I can say that @medz has some strange bathing habits…I really shouldn’t talk about it in mixed company.
@therealjrn…you are real quick to jump on the accusatory bandwagon yourself
@amehzinggrace @therealjrn If this be a nomination for @therealjrn I done second it.
@sammydog01 @therealjrn I wasn’t nominating him…just pointing out the obvious
@amehzinggrace @sammydog01 Yeah! Let’s not get too hasty!
@CaptAmehrican you’re on my suspect list because you’ve been liking comments that condemned others while not really adding to the conversation. You’re nodding in agreement indiscriminately when it comes to condemning others. Trying to keep your hands clean in this messy business of mob justice.
@medz I second that.
That floozy @sammydog01 tried to put me up for nomination. So in addition to @medz, I think @sammydog01 is guilty as sin. Those are my two nominees.
@therealjrn You be missin me if I hang. Hope you like cozying up to cattle.
@sammydog01 True 'nuff missy…I hereby withdraw my nomination until after payday.
No surprise that I nominate @tnhillbillygal.
The first domino that needs to fall to make our beloved town safe again.
@medz I see y’all’s game. You get all us townsfolk up in a tizzy with your accusating on all of us making us doubt each other while you and your group of bandits sit back and watch. I second the nomination of medz. Let’s see how much accusatin’ and hee-hawing you gonna do from the beyond.
@medz @tnhillbillygal to be fair - @sammydog01 has been just as quick to second anything that looks like a nomination
@amehzinggrace @medz @sammydog01 scratches chin and ponders amehzinggrace’s sudden defense of medz
@medz @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal I’m not defending anyone…I’m simply trying to point out everything that’s going on
@amehzinggrace @medz @tnhillbillygal Wall yall been so chickn to nominate after what happen to poor @Sabre99 I went ahid an done sumtin. Some body needs to hang.
@medz @Sabre99 @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal i don’t think its chicken to try and suss out a bandit and not a fellow local
@amehzinggrace @medz @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal Fair enuf. Who you bein nominatin?
@medz @Sabre99 @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal Well…I have to say that right now the quiet ones are the ones that are worrying me…I am nominating @metaphore
@amehzinggrace Good point. @metaphore is laying low. Maybe for a good reason. Who did they vote for yesterday?
@sammydog01 @metaphore voted for @sabre99…which most ppl did yesterday…but after the murder of the penguin was discovered they were quick to accuse @Kevin…kinda stirred the pot an disappeared you might say
@amehzinggrace @Kevin @metaphore @Sabre99 @sammydog01 I’m scratching my head trying to recall who actually nominated @PlacidPenguin (RIP) yesterday… I unofficially did, I suppose, but who seconded it? Edit: seems sheriff @moose assumed the unofficial mentions from myself and therealjrn counted as nominations for PlacidPenguin (RIP)
@amehzinggrace @Kevin @medz @metaphore @Moose @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @sammydog01
Dun you think it’s kinda odd that @medz and @therealrjn unofficially nominated the penguin, but he ended up dead anyway when he wasn’t voted out?
Sad story.
@medz [yeah I should’ve been more particular about needing official and clear nominations/seconds, and I aim to in the future]
@RiotDemon Sure is odd. If I didn’t know better, I would think the Sheriff had a hand in all this. Sheriff puts the name on the ballot after only vague nominations, doesn’t get voted. Gets killed anyway.
@medz @RiotDemon Now now, if you’ve got somethin’ to say then say it. Put up or shut up, as my pappy use’ta say
@amehzinggrace @sammydog01 There are those far more quiet than me if you’re just looking for a random person to blame. I never accused @Kevin of anything, I just pointed out how quick he was to speak ill of the dead. Many around town know my job keeps me up long into the night and maybe that’s the real reason you want me out of town. I may do what I must to get by, but never murder. Can you say the same? How was it again that you were left a widdow @amehzinggrace?
@Moose OK sheriff Moose. I officially nominate @Kevin. He seems to be kinda shifty sort of fellow.
@therealjrn I’m shifty? I just wrongly sent somebody to death. I’m changing up my approach, because I was wrong.
@Kevin @metaphore @sammydog01 As I said before…my husband was killed in a mysterious mining accident that Hyram barely escaped and survived from…and now Hyram is dead…any reason you are suspicious that I care if you stay up late into the night?
@Kevin Ya know Kev, if’n you stand in the middle of the wagon trail, yer gonna get runned over. Pick a side sir.
@therealjrn Then I nominate you
@amehzinggrace I hear the remarks you make under your breath when I’m leaving the saloon. As if this town was ever “wholesome”.
@metaphore you are correct…but I maintain that if I am sent to my maker before my time…its the town’s loss and the bandits’ gain
@Kevin Hrrumph Balderdash!
I reckon we’ve about nominated every single person in this town. I take it that we are using the shotgun approach to this rather than logical.
Sorry, I’ve been a mite busy at the mercantile, seems that newfangled cash register keeps getting jammed up and I hafta fix it.
I’m also a little taken aback because I felt like I led the charge voting for sabre99 and it turned out I were wrong. Don’t want it happening again.
@amehzinggrace You would be happy if a lot more than just the bandits were cleared out of town.
@amehzinggrace maybe Hyram was supposed to die in that mining “accident” and someone was cleaning up loose ends.
@RiotDemon if only our good sheriff had bothered to investigate…
@amehzinggrace @RiotDemon Mayhaps Hyram and the widder offed her husband in that there mine acident. I tole you them dollars from Hyram wasnt charitable donations.
We have one real nomination with second, and two that weren’t nominations but got a second anyway which I’m not going to count. Anyone want to make any other nominations?
@Moose I’m confuzed. Who be the one nominee that done been seconded that counts?
@Moose @tnhillbillygal I think that’s @CaptAmehrican is how i’ve read things so far…am I wrong?
@Moose I nominate @medz. Officially. If that’s not who we nominated. Wait, I think he’s been nominated so I second it.
a’fore y’all get too crazy nominating and votin’ for ol’ medz, you might take a gander at this list I’ve been jottin’ down. (slides paper across table)
@medz We ought to elect you sherrif- you done more work than that @Moose has in years.
@medz That’s a real nice breakdown you created but you need to check your facts…I never nominated or seconded any nomination yesterday…my only mistake was doubting the penguin’s innocence as they were snuffed in the night…here’s my list:
@therealjrn, kinda nominated - @sammydog01 was willing to second…relieved the penguin of his worldly goods…claims to be innocent (but not a townfolk)
@sammydog01, kinda nominated by @therealjrn - was withdrawn over @sammydog01’s indignation…ready to jump in and second nominations
@PlacidPenguin, dead townfolk (sorry I doubted)
@medz, kinda nominated - mostly a finger-pointed between @medz and @tnhillbillygal
@djslack, no real read on this character
@RiotDemon, claims to have been a friend of the penguin…
@CaptAmehrican, you only jump in when you are worried you are being nominated…cause you’re a bandit?
@tnhillbillygal, target of @medz for some reason…cause you’re a bandit and @medz knows it? or @medz is a bandit and you’re just someone to pick off?
@metaphore, no real read on this character…kinda stirs the pot and disappears too
@Kevin, either afraid to talk now cause he’s a bandit or…
@tinamarie1974, you stir the pot…and disappear
@amehzinggrace, townfolk w/ prob a price on my head at this point
@Sabre99, dead townfolk - most of the town is sorry - not the bandits…they are laughing
@stardate820926, no real read on this character
@DrunkCat you only jump in when you are worried you are being nominated…cause you’re a bandit?
@medz @amehzinggrace That’s a lot of folks who are close to silent. Kinda makes it hard to figure.
@amehzinggrace Imma townie. I operate the public Turkish bath, or pool if’n you’d druther.
Don’ you ferget that @sammydog01 took off with @Fluffy’s horse!
@amehzinggrace My mistake, checking my notes, that was in fact the departed @Sabre99 who seconded my nomination for @tnhillbillygal.
@amehzinggrace Your willful misrepresentation of my person leaves you on shaky ground amehzing. It is clear as day that I wholly adhere to “he who casts the first stone”.
@Moose Here’s what I’m a seein’. I see that whilst us townfolks are tryin to tend to our critters and crops, some folks has time to be showing off their readin’ and writin’ skills by takin’ notes on all us. I reckon that the only folks that gotta keep on their toes like that would be guilty ones tryin’ to avoid them gallows. Also be seemin’ mighty convenient that the ones with notes seemed to be a takin’ up for each other earlier this mornin’.
@DrunkCat I’m not trying to throw you under the cart…I’m just trying to assess what I’ve “seen”…realistically - everyone is suspect…I can only vouch for myself and try to convince the rest of you that I’m a townfolk and not trying to eliminate any innocent person…everyone is guilty of that right now
@medz you still want to nominate @tnhillbillygal?
@amehzinggrace You bet I do. I officially nominate that no-good @tnhillbillygal to pay for her crimes.
@medz @tnhillbillygal I second that
@amehzinggrace @medz Looks like my suspicions have been confirmed…
@tnhillbillygal your suspicions to deflect? So it’s wrong to try and suss out who’s the bandit? It’s wrong to take notes? you weren’t my first choice…make me believe that you aren’t against us…
@amehzinggrace Well shoot, I reckon if YOU ARE on medz’s bandit team, I am agin’ ya. Funny how you use the phrase “us”…
That said, all these mutes around this town not helping in the investigation sure ain’t making this any easier to solve.
@tnhillbillygal I completely agree about the mutes…however you throwing around passive aggressive remarks doesn’t sit well either…
“us” means townfolks…I will defend that I am a tried and true townfolk till I am unwittingly hanged or murdered in my sleep by bandits…wont do any good at that point…but there you have it
@amehzinggrace @tnhillbillygal I’ve been too busy putting ol’ @sabre99 and @placidpenguin six feet under to be throwing around accusations. The next plot ain’t gonna dig itself either so I’m heading to the saloon for a drink first. An undertaker’s got her work cut out for her in a murderous town like this here Troll’s Butte.
@stardate820926 So one in your position might be concerned with supply/demand and job security, eh?
@medz Nah, people are always dying and no-one wants the bodies just a pilin’ up. My job is pretty secure. I’m more concerned about those bandits also being graverobbers. I hate having to bury someone twice.
@medz @stardate820926 you know…@riotdemon was saying yesterday that he were off to bury @placidpenguin…somebody aint telling us the truth
@amehzinggrace Explains why that pine box was so light. I just thought he was a wee penguin. I guess the saloon and undertakin’ don’t mix
@amehzinggrace @stardate820926 I buried the penguin under his favorite tree. Who did you bury? Trying to hide a body or sumthin?
@Moose I nominate @therealjrn
@Kevin That’s rather mean-spirited.
@therealjrn you accuse, so that makes you suspicious.
@Kevin Now hold up thar fellar. Mine was wutcha call dee-duck-tiv reasoning and your’n be jest spiteful.
@therealjrn what general statement did I made that led you to your logical conclusion?
I know I’m not a bandit, but I understand that you guys won’t trust me – which I agree with. You shouldn’t trust anyone.
If you guys want to nominate me, there’s not much I can say to defend myself. At this point it’s just a random pick.
Ifn @Kevin hangs ah call dibbs on his purtiest heffer afore @therealjrn- he can search them pockits insted
Say @Kevin? Do you happen to carry around a good luck gold piece or sumpt’in like that?
i guessn Sherif @Moose is off fishin fer the weekend.
@sammydog01 I done lost track of what our official nominations were. Anyone who know better care to give us a rundown?
@djslack @sammydog01
/giphy i dunno
Noticing from the next town over that the sheriff has abandoned Troll’s Butte, I stroll into town, steal a horse and get out before you weird talking lot see me.
@Ignorant @riotdemon Seems we got a horse theef to hang too. Better count them mounts.
@Ignorant @sammydog01 gursh darnit!
I’ll be sittin, watching my pastures with my rifle at hand in case any more thieves come about.
Whoa Jethro, whoa, boy! We’ve finally reached the town of Troll’s Butte.
Hello, the townspeople of Troll’s Butte, where’s your sheriff? Um, what’s with all of the rifles pointed at me? Not too friendly of a place, are you?
What’s the matter, cats got your tongues?
@Barney We got sum gosh-durned bandits offin the townfolks an sum purple cowboy strolls in. what didya xspect? How much dya want for Jethro there? He’s mighty handsum.
@sammydog01 I am the Honorable Judge Barney, the new Circuit Judge. I’m known as the “Hanging Judge”. No, not because I hang people; it’s because I weigh close to 450 pounds and my bodily fat hangs all over the saddle of my poor ol’ mule Jethro.
And no, Jethro is not for sale. He’s like family.
Anyway, I was supposed to preside at a trial here the other day, but Jethro kinda got in an ornery mood and we just now got here.
Can you tell me where the sheriff is?
@Barney them doggone bandits didn’t off the sheriff did they? Did you hear anything bout it on your ride in?
@tnhillbillygal Don’t know anything about your bandits. I’m just lookin’ for your sheriff. I’m supposed to preside at another trial in this town pretty soon.
I guess me and Jethro will mosey over to the saloon for some liquid refreshments, and wait for the sheriff.
Will you give him a push to get him started?
@Barney @tnhillbillygal Sherif @Moose don’t cotton much to trials. Theys too much work. But ah spect he be back from fishun Monday.
pushes Jethro
@sammydog01 Thanks for the push. Fish’n huh? I haven’t seen any fish’n holes around here, but I guess that’s your’n business.
Tell ya what, Jethro and I will just fresh’n up and then head over to the next town in our circuit. Seems like they caught some @ignorant horse thief and they want to make do with a quick trial.
So, I’ll be back in a few days. By the way, y’all know a varmit named @medz?
@Barney hi! Long time, no see. Can’t wait to catch up and have some Sunday dinner like the old days back in Kansas.
@medz Hey, cuz! Last time I saw you, you had been tarred and feathered and were being ridden out of Kansas on a rail. Did that teach you not to steal horses? You were damn lucky they decided not to hang you.
Gee, you healed up real good, too. Can hardly see any scarring.
@Barney eh, you must be thinking about someone else
@medz Oh, come now, I know my own cousin. Anyway, those townsfolks with all those lit torches – that was right pretty as the sun set that night.
Well, I reckon that ol’ Jethro and I will go head on over to the next town for the trial. I’d like to be there before it gets dark. I’ve heard that weird things happen around here when it’s dark. shudder
Cousin @medz, We’ll have dinner when I get back. Don’t bother on hang’n around for me if you have other things to do though.
Miss @sammydog01 Thank you for all your kind help. You know, you’re kind of cute with your tongue flopping out of your toothless mouth like that. Maybe I can call on you next time I’m in town?
Come on, Jethro, daylight’s burning!
I been hearin bout all that killin going on over yonder town and a bit worried bout you good folks. Not sure what’s going on with your sheriff @moose but I purty shore I spied him imbibing at our local waterin hole…you know it well, Magic Lake with the hallosogenic water
s.
@llangley I know y’all don’t believe us over this-aways but…this from my garden early this morning…
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELFS
OH, and hide your critters…
Sorry folks I got lost in thought there for a minute by matters not pertainin’ to the case. Anyway there was a mess of noise from y’all, but I believe we have two nominations with seconds.
If I missed anything, I’d be obliged if you’d clear it up for me. Otherwise, I think we’ve dilly dallied enough to call a vote. What say y’all? Who put PlacidPenguin six feet under?
@therealjrn, @sammydog01, @medz, @djslack, @RiotDemon, @CaptAmehrican, @tnhillbillygal, @metaphore, @Kevin, @tinamarie1974, @amehzinggrace, @stardate820926, @DrunkCat
@Moose I vote for @tnhillbillygal.
“A vote for tnhillbillygal is a vote for justice!”
@Moose I buried Penguin under his favorite tree. @stardate820926 says that they buried him, so I think something is fishy there.
@therealjrn and @medz had made allegations about that penguin, and he ended up dead. So I spose my vote is goin towards @medz cuz I don’t like how that worked out.
@Moose I will return the favor and vote for that sidewindin’, fork-tongued @medz . Ain’t no place here for a bandit tryin’ to sew doubt in the minds of us good people and then sittin’ back and laughin’ at us all.
@Moose I nominate @therealjrn
@Moose Let @medz be judged innocent by the length of twine.
@DrunkCat Thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence…wait…what?
@Kevin @Moose @therealjrn you did that already and it didn’t get seconded today. Now we’re on to the vote.
I thought I knew these townfolk that we have up for the vote today. Wouldn’t suspect either’n of em of bein’ bandits. But I also reckon there’s no place for someone to abstain in this matter in Troll’s Butte in the dire circumstance we’re in, lest I wind up next on the undertaker’s customer list. And these two seem to be locked in a he said, she said battle, one of em’s got to go.
For that reason, I guess I have to choose one. My only hunch is that why would @medz do all that fancy writin’ in boxes keeping track of who dun what if he were a bandit? Bandit’s too busy makin’ a literal killin than to worry about some durn book learnin and hifalutin’ writing. So for that I gotta say @tnhillbillygal is the best choice on the table to go down for these killings. Lord help us if we ain’t right.
@Moose Ah jus dont trust that @medz fella. ah vote fer him.
@Moose Hmmm…I guess we caint hang em both…I vote for @tnhillbillygal I reckon.
@Moose @therealjrn seems like you’re in cahoots with medz and that’s why you’re not voting for him. I see, I see.
@Moose @RiotDemon Now’s not de time to be debatin’ let’s get to voting’ missy. Who you be votin’ fer?
@Moose This is a tough vote. I reckon they both be guilty of something, but of murder? I’m not so sure. @medz has always been one for stirin up trouble and in these trying times we can’t afford the trouble. For that he earns my vote.
@Moose That @RiotDemon seems strangely silent–why aintcha votin’? Feeling guilty ‘bout sumptin’?
@Moose @therealjrn learn how to read. I already voted. Maybe there’s an issue with you wanting me to vote twice. Did a mule kick you in the head and make you blind?
@RiotDemon @therealjrn Wow. Combative. That’s the attitude of a bandit-sympathizer if’n I ever heard one.
@Moose @RiotDemon Well this here forum had done collapsed your vote, my apologies for da ovarsite.
@medz @RiotDemon She does seem kinda hackle-razed don’t she?
@RiotDemon @therealjrn Like an angry possum full of prickly cuckleburrs
@medz @therealjrn you seem to forget that my friend was murdered, and both of you had wanted him dead!
@moose
I vote for @tnhillbillygal - I too am not sure @medz would bother w/ a chart to try and suss out the bandit iff’n @medz were a bandit…
@medz @RiotDemon Ya know, ya hang around in da pigpen, yer gonna get some mud on you…
Still waitin’ for votes from @Kevin, @CaptAmehrican, @tinamarie1974, and @stardate820926. In the meantime, I found a handful of crates filled with all sorts of sundries and things, went ahead and passed one out to each of you (and deceased’s next-of-kin of course)
@Moose Thankee sheriff, ya gots my vote next sheriff election.
/no connection betwixt my vote and da gifts…
@Moose Thankee, Sheriff. My sundries did appear to be sun-dried anchovies but I’m not gonna look a gift house in the mouth–that just means I’ll be making frontier pizza tonight! Baked beans and anchovies, I can’t wait!
@Moose Thank ya kindly. I just hope I have time yet on this world to enjoy it.
Seein’ as @amehzinggrace @medz both had charts goin’, seems only fittin the one would take up for the other havin’ a chart. ‘fraid your the next bandit to get found out amehzing??? Coverin’ your tracks? Y’all done did give yourselves away with that fancy writin’ and notes you be sharing in the night.
@amehzinggrace @tnhillbillygal While I appreciate the vote from amehzinggrace, I don’t know what to make of their behavior during these proceedings. Should anything happen to me, y’all should know that I had my suspicions of them as well.
@medz @tnhillbillygal so by your logic… get rid of folk with some education…i maintain that I’m townsfolk and not a bandit…my conscious is clear
@Kevin @Moose @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974 Thanks for the crate. I think @Medz is guilty. Hard to know with all theblame around these parts.
@CaptAmehrican @Kevin @Moose @stardate820926 Im not gonna look a gift Moose in the mouth! Thank ya kindly sir.
I hate pointing fingers n all, bit that @medz seemed pretty quick to try to push suspicions away from themself. They get my vote!
@Moose I thought I already voted?
You damned fools… You’ll regret this.
@Kevin @Moose You didn’t vote @Kevin, ya jest tried to sully ma good name. Yer 'posed ta vote fer the two choices up thar.
@Moose I thank you kindly. These supplies will go a long way in these tryin times.
@medz @tnhillbillygal and by the by…if @medz swings… and if we find out that/was no bandit and you walk away… that doesn’t make the list keepers look so suspicious…or at least it shouldn’t to anyone who’s not a bandit… just sayin…
@medz @tnhillbillygal then again…i may not last this night since i am keeping lists too…
@Moose I vote for @tnhillbillygal because the realjrn nominated medz and I don’t trust realjrn
@Moose thank you for the supplies…my child & i are so grateful for the extras
@Moose Thank ya kindly Sherif Moose. Things been hard since my customers been kilt off.
@Moose @sammydog01 I said I catch you payday missy. Now don’ be tellin’ tall tales like that @Kevin.
Thank ya kindly for the sundries Sheriff @Moose . I had picked some blueberries and paw and I used some of the goods to make a cobbler to enjoy after supper. Made some right good victuals.
@Moose I gotta place my vote on @medz
/me yells from the next town over “how long are your damn days over there?”
@Ignorant Da livin’ is slow here in da Troll Butte.
The dyin’s a might bit quicker.
@Ignorant It’s like Alaska or the N/S Pole over here. Long day as and even longer nights!
“Freeze” said the sheriff as @Medz tried to slowly slide open the window.
“Thought you could just slip away and keep your murderous streak going? I gotta say, I had my doubts about the accusations but this just seals it for me. Figures someone who was cowardly enough to murder innocents in the middle of the night would be just as yella’ when things got too hot. Your little slip of paper was a clever way to send us off your trail but you underestimated us.”
The sheriff pulled his gun and fired a bullet directly into @Medz’s back. “And let that be a lesson on how cowards get dealt with in Troll’s Butte.”
As he was getting ready to mop the floor later, a small notebook fell out of @Medz’s pocket. Sheriff Moose started to flip the pages, recognizing it as the source of @Medz’s accusation notes. On the last page was a short journal entry. Slipping on his spectacles, he began to read:
“Well shucks.”
Darkness falls across the town; a villager is going down. Bandits creep from door to door, to terrorize y’all to your core. And whosoever doesn’t die, must unravel each and every lie, and single out their imposter friend, and hope this mayhem soon will end.
@Moose Dangnabbit.
Poor @medz. And poor us. We was wrong again…
@Moose Poor @Medz, RIP.
That shor is a nice buggy ol’ @Medz had. It’ll look right purty rollin’ down main street.
Well…it wasn’t @medz…3 bandits are playing this town…
guise, i’m tellin ya – @therealjrn is a bandit
@Kevin Is that thar a Eastern accent? Never trust these city slickers, folks.
Hey ummm Honorable Judge @Barney, you should probably head on back to Troll’s Butte there seems to be a lot more justice to be doled out in them parts. No need to worry yourself over a little horse thieving.
Whoa, Jethro! We’re finally here. I woulda been back sooner but Jethro got turned around goin’ the wrong way and we ended up in Sore Butte, and not Troll’s Butte.
So, WTF is going on in this here town? What is wrong with your sheriff? I can’t be gone for a couple of days and he off and kills my cousin @Medz. Boo-hoo, sniff, sniff. And Medzy was such a good boy. He almost had that horse stealing habit licked. Dad gum it, I’m gonna miss that boy.
Um, are there any of his personal effects I can have? Just for sentimental reasons, mind ya. I know he used to have a very good lookin’ buggy. Jethro would look mighty nice pullin’ it.
Has the arrangements been made to bury Medz? Does this podunk town have an undertaker? Does it even have a shovel?
My, oh my, It’s been such a terrible two days. The horse thief at Limp Bluff escaped from jail and they are still hunting for that @ignorant thief. Now Medzy turns up ded.
And I got word that I got to go to Iron Butte day after tomorrow. Cattle rustling trial. Wouldn’t doubt that it’s that @ignorant varmit again.
Well… no one’s talk’n huh?
Guess I’ll head over to the saloon and visit that beautiful @sammydog01. Jethro sure has taken’ a likin’ to her.
This sure is a damn creepy town.
@Barney Ah be awaitin wif a root beer fer ya und a carrut fer Jethro.
@Barney Howdy judge, pleasure to make your acquaintance, must say we got not shortage of judges, juries, or executioners here so I reckon we won’t be needin’ your professional help but you’re welcome to rest your mule as long as you’d like. Just mind that you don’t end up dead, we don’t need any outside attention on our little town at a time like this.
Why, Sheriff @Moose, are you threatn’ me? I seen the way you dole out justice in this here town and I’m not a liken it at all.
I have you know, I’m here on O-fficial goverment business and if even one hair on my head is touched, the U.S. Marshall will be down on you faster than you can shake a leg after pee’n on a bush. He’ll shut down your little ol’ two bit operation and you’ll be look’n for a new job.(You’ll probably find it under a rock in that smarmy Texas town of Purgatory Rise.)
@sammydog01 Ah, Miss @sammydog01. I really enjoyed that there root beer and Jethro liked his carrot. Can we call on you next time we are in town?
@Barney Not a threat, simply a friendly advisory what with the troubles plaguing our town. Well, not plaguing, uh… troubling our town. We got it under control. Now I can’t say I cotton to this aggressive tone, especially from someone who rejected an invitation to join us as a fellow neighbor here in Troll’s Butte, but if’n the opportunity arises again in the future I hope you might reconsider.
Well then, Sheriff @Moose, I’ll take your advisory to heart.
I’m only bein aggressive cause I’m so upset over the death of my cousin @Medz. He was the one who everone in the family thought would go far.
As for not join’n up with y’all, I had thought that my doc and I were goin’ fishn’ and that I wouldn’t be around to participate. And, ya know, I don’t have one of them thar fancy smartiephones that I can take with me everywhere. Maybe next time, Sheriff.
@Barney Ahm athinkin @medz was to smart fer his own good. Surry bout that.
Why, Miss @sammydog01, what an awful thing to say about the dead. Just awful. Maybe I just won’t bring you any of that new fangled sarsaparilla syrup next time I come to town.
@Barney But ah promised yall a perfushinal discont las time- aint that worth nuthin? ah would luv me some sarsparilla syrup Judge.
@sammydog01 Tell ya what, you throw in one of your’n world renowned Swedish massages and I’ll bring ya back two jugs of sarsaparilla syrup. My poor old back just can’t take all these long hours in Jethro’s saddle.
I’m still athink’n that @therealjrn stole @medz’s buggy and done hid it somewhere.
@Barney
/me yells from the bushes “Poor Jethro’s back can’t take it either”
@Ignorant
Huh, what’s that? Did anybody hear somethin? What did @sammydog01 put in them root beers?
Day 3
As the sun rises, so do all the locals, except for one. @Kevin had been tied to the old water wheel. If he wasn’t dead when he was tied up there, he certainly was once the ravenous elk got to him.
“This is getting serious,” Sheriff Moose whispered to himself. “We really need to send a telegram to Parks & Wildlife about these elk what got a nasty case of bloodthirst. Now about this body…”
As before, another meeting was called, and the locals in the town convened again, determined to root out the bandits.
So, who killed @Kevin?
@Moose that’s terrible. Go figure, he accuses @therealjrn twice and then he winds up dead.
@Moose @RiotDemon @therealjrn That’s enough evidence for me. I’ve made my vote.
Just a reminder that @therealjrn didnt vote for @medz…@DrunkCat and @RiotDemon did vote to kill off @medz
And is @therealjrn actually nominated and seconded?
Ifn we only had one of them there spreadsheats…
seems like nobody likes anyone keeping track of what’s going on…
I be a thinkin mayhaps we shuld be suspicus of them that voted after medz un fluffy been fingered fer hangin since ther votes didnt count fer nuthin
@sammydog01 I don’t think I understand what you are saying
@sammydog01 WAIT…are you saying that we should nominate the people that were nominated by @medz and @placidpenguin??
that would be @tnhillbillygal and @DrunkCat
@amehzinggrace Ifn ah was a bandit ah might jes hang on back and see who them townsfolk were votin fer- if it were a townsfolk ah could go along and fit in but ifn it were a bandit ah might jes try to redirect the votin. Or ah could vote fer a feller bandit knowin they wuld survive. ahm sorry ah dont speek lake yur sewin circle ladies- ah do ma best.
@sammydog01 gottcha…it just took a minute to process
@amehzinggrace Which wuld be @stardate820926,
@tinamarie1974, @CaptAmehrican, and @amehzinggrace. Hmm…
@CaptAmehrican @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974
All of these people voted for @medz…so your logic doesn’t make sense…but then maybe you are trying to mis-direct…maybe that was your strategy as a bandit?
@DrunkCat @medz @PlacidPenguin @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal don’t forget that medz did say that if he died that we should be turning our peepers on @amehzinggrace
@CaptAmehrican @medz @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974 AND i would like to point out that I seconded the nomination for @tnhillbillygal…so it was logical that I would be voting for them and not @medz…that would certainly make me a suspicious person if I didn’t vote for a party that I seconded…
Without workin’ my brain too durn hard or writin’ things on fancy box paper, this is how I sees it:
Yesterday @tnhillbillygal and @medz was at each other’s throats like a couple’a coons with their tails tied together. We sent poor @medz to his re-ward, and turnt out we was wrong about him.
The way they bickered, they was obviously either brother 'n sister or on opposite teams, and I don’t think they was related. So I got to nominate @tnhillbillygal.
@Moose Well, I’za plum ashamed. Now, there was no love lost between medz and myself and that’s out there for everrbody to see. Me and ole Medz had spent our days accusating back and forth and now look where it got us. Medz is dead and now I’m gettin’ accusated again. Whoever is behind this whole shenanigan is doin’ a might good job at twistin’ and turnin’ all this.
After yesterday, I don’t trust my own judgment and am afeared of sending another neighbor to the beyond. Medz always gave me a hard time about being a choir girl so today I went to the saloon and got me two shots. pours one shot on the ground That’s for Medz, and the others fer my own conscience and my part of nominating another innocent neighbor. looks up don’t think harsh on me Medz.
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974 These votes didnt matter acuz they awaited until Medz had a rope arund his neck. Them cuda voted Santy Claus jes as well.
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974 Sandy Claws? Best darn pole cat a man could have out here on da range…
@Moose @tnhillbillygal I see the sheriff’s gift worked winks
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @tinamarie1974 I reckon I need to put that there @tnhillbillygal up for nomination. Do we have a second?
@amehzinggrace
These be tough times.
@therealjrn @djslack already nominated @tnhillbillygal
@djslack @Moose @tnhillbillygal Whelp, I suppos’ this be a seconding then.
@djslack @tnhillbillygal She done made bluberry cobblr and not invit me over. She either hidin sumthin or hoity toity.
@RiotDemon Well who are we to deny a dead mans final wish. @amehzinggrace to the gallows.
@DrunkCat @RiotDemon I nominate @DrunkCat - anyone to second that?
@amehzinggrace @RiotDemon Either you’re innocent and think I’m guilty or your guilty and think I’ve hit to close to home.
@DrunkCat @RiotDemon I’m innocent and think you’re guilty…but I’ve said that before…and if I get executed…bandits only win more ground
@amehzinggrace @RiotDemon Why would @medz finger you then if you’re as innocent as you say? Why the silence when I originally accused @therealjrn?
@DrunkCat @medz @RiotDemon @therealjrn Cause I’m not 100% certain that he’s guilty…apparently you are…I’m allowed to reflect upon my decisions and not just jump out swinging at everyone instantly…and @medz didnt specifically say I was guilty - just said to keep an eye on me…which is fair…I was doing the same to him
Ah’m goin to go a dirrfunt way and nominate @tinamarie1974 acause she is so quiet like and ah aint atrusting quiet folk.
@sammydog01 I am quiet, but i have been out hoe-in my fields. I recon I don’t see the point of running around waving my arms and yellin my predictions and all. I don’t have the ESP and do not want to make a wrong choice to murder an innocent…terrible, terrible thing.
@sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 That thar seems a little flimsy…that thar seals it. I second the nomination of @tinamarie1974. See how close her eyes are? She’s definitely a bandit.
@sammydog01 @therealjrn me a bandit? I think you are upset I didn’t let you give me that thayr turkish massage
@tinamarie1974 Ah been out hoe-in in the saloon an still have time to gab. Aint them corn stalks itchy on yore back?
@sammydog01 I grow the soybean. Much easier on the back and knees!
@sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 If’n thar’s anybody dat knows 'bout ho-ing it’s our little filly @sammydog01.
@tinamarie1974 Yore knees? How much extry you charge fer that?
@sammydog01 a girl has ta make a livin somehow in these tough times!
Now @therealjrn, I may be a bit rusty on my par-la-mentary pro-see-jure, but you already seconded @djslack’s nomination of @tnhillbillygal, I don’t think you can second that and @sammydog01’s nomination of @tinamarie1974. Who ya’ gonna vote for then? Jus’ makes no sense.
Currently we got nominations for @tnhillbillygal and @tinamarie1974 and @DrunkCat.
One of the first two is seconded by @therealjrn but he’ll have to choose which one.edit: seconds have been redacted by @therealjrn. Anyone want to nominate/second anyone else?@djslack @DrunkCat @Moose @sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal So…I reckon I’ll second @DrunkCat then…this here lee-gal thangs iz hard.
@Moose
@therealjrn is tryin’ ta confuse us poor townies with his seconds. Thinkin’ he might be needin’ a nomination…
@Moose @stardate820926 Naw missy, Imma jest a bit addled wit da paint fumes from paintin’ those thar advert signs for the buggy I recently acquir’d…I reckon I aint sober ‘nuff rite now. I better wit’draw all my secondings an’ non’natshuns fer now. Imma heading ovr’ ta da salon fer a whiskey…mehbe dat’ll clear ma head.
@therealjrn You fergit
. Is payday soonish?
@sammydog01
:snorgle: 
:fart: 
@Moose @drunkcat has been quiet. Suspiciously so.
Ifn ah figured propers the only nominee with a second be @DrunkCat. Ah’s already used up mah nomination so’s if anybody be disagreein speak up now or the cat hangs.
@CaptAmehrican @Moose Ah I see how the tides have turned. I’ve come too close to the truth and will be burned by it. On the innocence of my corpse seek those who wished my death.
@DrunkCat I ain’t seen a nomination by yourself that the sherif counted so you gots a second due ifn your not wantin the rope.
Well I tried to turn a blind eye towards it but seems like everyone heard 'bout @medz’s demise and ran straight towards his moonshine still, because ain’t none’a y’all have made a lick of sense, even if were just replying to the wrong topic in this here internet thread. So, again, unless the ‘shine be striking me harder than I am accustomed to (not sayin’ that’s outta the question), we still got three nominations and no seconds.
@DrunkCat
@tinamarie1974
@tnhillbillygal
Now, anyone want to second any’a these folks or nominate anyone else?
Attn: @amehzinggrace, @CaptAmehrican, @djslack, @DrunkCat, @metaphore, @RiotDemon, @sammydog01, @stardate820926, @therealjrn, @tinamarie1974, @tnhillbillygal
@CaptAmehrican @djslack @DrunkCat @medz @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
Sheriff @Moose, if’n we don’t get any seconds what do we do, just go to bed without
tryinghanging someone for the murder of ol’ @Kevin (and all the ones before him)?Somebody’s got to feel some kind of way that somebody did something, that one another’n of us done offered up on the block for justice.
@Moose Ah’l second any folk that make this here votin happen. How bout @tnhillbilygal.
@Moose I thought @drunkcat nominated @therealjrn? All of a sudden drunkcat is nominated instead? I was out with my mustangs all day. I shore am confused.
@RiotDemon not explicitly, no. Tensions are running high so I need clear nominations. @DrunkCat was nominated by @amehzinggrace but no seconds yet
@Moose
@CaptAmehrican @djslack @DrunkCat @medz @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
This is really making my head hurt…that moonshine last night ain’t helpin matters either…so maybe we need to start weeding out the quiet ones that kinda just pop in and out to throw shade…like @CaptAmehrican or @metaphore - just another thought - and btw…when did @therealrjn retract his seconds? cause it still says he seconds @DrunkCat above…maybe someone can edit the thread so its less confusing when trying to play catch-up?
@amehzinggrace here
@amehzinggrace @Moose We caint second moren once- is a nomination plus a diffrent second permitted? Them rulz be confusin.
@sammydog01 Nah, if you nominate or second then that should mean “I will vote for that person”
@sammydog01 Blueberry cobblers are over. Them sundries got used up and Paw done left to go gold pannin’ in Calyforny. Now I gots to frequent the saloon with the other gals tryin’ to get by.
/giphy Lili Von Shtupp
@tnhillbillygal just stay away from @therealjrn…@sammydog01 is kinda possessive about him…not to mention he’s kinda “handsy”
@amehzinggrace @tnhillbillygal “Handsy”?? Me? Why I wuz jest tryin’ to shew ya gals the newest in Turkish massage…jest practicin’ for the paying customers in da bath-house.
@therealjrn @tnhillbillygal You are trying to get free gropes…I’ve seen your tab…you owe @sammydog01 alot of
I was just perusing my legal papers and it seems I forgot that I’m supposed to stop at Sore Landing, for a quickie hang’n, on my way to Iron Butte.
So, Jethro and me will be moseying on down the trail. Sure hope this town gets all its troubles settled by the time I gets back.
It’d take a damn miracle for this town to begin to set itself in the right direction.
@Barney Imma please’d ta loan you this here fine carriage–don’t mind the freshly painted advert’izing fer da bath house on the side. I wood sey ta go slow so’z folks can read it, but ol’ Jethro aint no race horse iz he?
@therealjrn You and I are gonna have a talk’n when I get back to town (if’n your still alive).
Gid up Jethro! Your’n the best damn mule in the country.
@Barney
Jethro sure is purdy
@stardate820926 Aww… You got one of them there picture taken’ boxes? And you took one of my ol’ Jethro? Ain’t he somethin!
Your’n a mighty nice person. Sure hope you ain’t one of them gal darn bandits.
@Barney @stardate820926 now that’s a load of horse manure. I’ve nominated at least two people since today’s day break
@DrunkCat Ah aint seein the magical word nominate and sherif @Moose is a stickler for legalese. But ifn he be allowing only one nominatin per townfolk a second is what you truly need. An I don’t know why you complainin to Judge @Barney. he be on his way to Iron Butte.
@DrunkCat @sammydog01 Well said; this ain’t no game, there’s lives on the line. I need clear nominations or the locals will be at my back door demanding answers. Or worse, the bandits…
@Moose backdoor bandits ain’t nothing we need to improve our perdicament here in Troll’s Butte, no sir.
Holy heck in a handbasket we got ourselves a problem here. This town’s reputation is lower than alligator tits and none’a y’all can make a proper second it seems. To catch everyone up, take a gander at the chalkboard over yonder.
Despite what you might think, none’a them has got a genuine second, so if we could get a couple’a y’all to second some candidates then we can get goin’, or so help me I’m just gonna start firing into the crowd
Edit: DrunkCat has been seconded by tnhillbillygal
@Moose Imma guessin’ @sammydog01 might just know or thing or two watchin’ all the patrons at the saloon. I’ll throw a second to @tinamarie1974.
@Moose I nominate @amehzinggrace, yes sir that I do.
Well, I don’t trust my own judgment but I don’t wanna get shot by default neither. I reckon I will second for drunkcat.
@tnhillbillygal Dibs on that nice hat he has.
Whaaaaaaa? ? :snort: :gargle: Now where in tarnation did my new boots and new pocket watch run off to? I done did fell asleep last night in Miss @Sammydog01’s boudoir…thankee kindly fer da accomodashuns.
I’ll jest git me sum sustenance.
Thankee kindly barkeep.
@therealjrn I’m cutting you off til you pay your bill…you are about to owing everyone in this saloon substantial money the way you were drinking last night…
@amehzinggrace @amehzinggrace Well Imma still missing my new boots and pocket watch. Sum slicker relieved me of ‘em las’ nite. but here ya go
ya know Imma good fer da rest.
@therealjrn you’ve been picking off goods off alot of bodies and you ain’t getting that much “business” at your bathhouse…esp since you spend alot of time hanging out at the saloon making eyes @sammydog01…where’d you get all this money all of a sudden?
@amehzinggrace @sammydog01 Well missy, Imma tell you–what happens in da bath house stays in da bath house–kapeesh kimosabi?
Dat’s why you don’t think thar’s much bidness.
Besides, I got’s me a new adverts travlin’ around with Judge @Barney. Folks’ll be coming from miles 'round. You better lay in extree liquor for all dat new bidness coming yer way.
@sammydog01 @therealjrn I dont think much is happening in “da bath house”…I think its a front for other ventures…
@amehzinggrace @sammydog01 whelp, we ALL know that this here “saloon” iz so much moar than jest a “saloon.”
See missy? I ken use air quotes too.
@sammydog01 @therealjrn No one is denying that…in fact these saloon doors stay open 24/7…and there are rooms upstairs for people to “sleep it off” that you have used yourself on more’n one occasion…
you and @captamehrican are pretty quick to cast your votes…and the capt only seem to pop up just to vote…which makes me sorry now that @drunkcat has been nominated by myself…perhaps unfairly…I hope the good people of this town keep searching for the truth…
I’m pretty sure that @DrunkCat is one of our back door bandits yessir. Matter a’ fact, I bet we could call him a sorta Butte pirate.
@therealjrn agreed. @drunkcat killed off the owner of the moonshine still
Voting Time
Alright, we got ourselves some candidates!
Now if everyone can cast their ballot in a reply to this comment (click the reply button, don’t use the text box at the bottom because that replies to the whole topic) we can call it a day. And what a long, wearisome day it has been…
Cast your vote for who done it:
@DrunkCat or @tinamarie1974
attn: @amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @djslack @DrunkCat @metaphore @RiotDemon @sammydog01 @stardate820926 @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
@Moose @DrunkCat (I still have ma dibs on his fancy hat)
@Moose I ain’t a-trustin the nomination by the person I nominated, so @tinamarie1974 it is.
@Moose not as long as when you went on that bender
@DrunkCat because I nominated them…I apologize now…I should have seconded @therealjrn
I am going back to the moonshine…I’ll be in the saloon
@Moose well, since it’s done been established that a second is just an early vote, I’m guessin’ I’ll vote for @tinamarie1974
@Moose I vote for myself just to rub it in how wrong y’all were. Don’t forget to look towards those who wished me silenced.
@Moose I reckon I will vote true to my second and vote fer DrunkCat. I sure hope we all finally get one right. If’n we don’t, we is gonna be the minority real quick and be in a whole heap of trouble.
@tnhillbillygal I think we are in a heap of trouble
@Moose I’m a votin for @Drunkcat! I like my neck far too much!!
@Moose Ahm avotin fer @tinamarie1974 acause I ain’t got a choice and she got that purty church dress ah been eyin.
I think @Sammydog01 is a votin for me because she heard about my little hoe-in business out at the farm!
@tinamarie1974 Well we been killin all mah customers- time to kilt some compitishun.
Still waiting on @CaptAmehrican, @metaphore, and @RiotDemon to vote. Ironically if @DrunkCat hadn’t voted for himself, the votes would be tied.
@sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 Well…she does do that thing on her knees…mehbe you cood step up yer game, so-ta-speak.
@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon maybe @DrunkCat could rethink their vote
@CaptAmehrican @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon
I suppose I shall rescind my vote and casted over to @tinamarie1974. May she be guilty.
@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon hhuuummm…I recon you don’t feel so innocent no more? I am wonderin if someone can change them thair vote like that…doesn’t rightly seem fair to me
@Moose I’m gonna have to vote for @tinamarie1974. Too many suspicious people voting for DrunkCat
@DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon I vote and voted for @drunkcat
@CaptAmehrican @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974 Now see here, if there’n bein’ a tie and all it wouldn’t be gentlemen of me to done be responsible for such uncouth complexity.
@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974 It shouldnt be a tie - we’re at 11 people now in this town…3 bandits plus 8 innocent townsfolk
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974 Then who’s holdin’ it all up?
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @tinamarie1974 Imma startin’ to git reel suspishush ‘bout these here late, quiet voters. Imma thinkin’ thems gots to be back-door bandits.
@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 looks like its @RiotDemon to break the tie
@amehzinggrace @CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @metaphore @Moose @RiotDemon @therealjrn
ಠ_ಠ
@Moose @RiotDemon
ಠ_ಠ
I’m the tie breaker? Shit.
I guess I’ll be flipping a coin.
Heads - Tina
Tails - cat
/coinflip
No whammy… No whammy… TAILS!
“Reeeeaaal clever of you to try to act like a martyr to get sympathy, at least until it backfired and you had to change your vote. Now go on and step outside, I just mopped.”
(note: I’m going out of town tomorrow/this weekend so this Night cycle might last until Monday, but I’ll try to start the Day cycle as soon as the bandits confirm their kill if I can.)
@Moose DAMNIT! Still, nice hat.
As I drift off to sleep I begin to think I should install that fancy camera I received in my crate of sundries. That’d catch those bandits for sure…
Gosh durn it don’t go blamin me.
I recon I’ll head down to the waterin hole for a drink. That was too close for me to fall asleep sober! Poor Drunkcat. @Moose needs to step up his game and catch those scoundrels before any more innocents die
@tinamarie1974 Whilst yer thar, could you look around fer ma boots and pocketwatch? Somebody made off wit dem when I wuz sleeping in @Sammydog01’s boudoir. The boots say "Custom made fer @Sabre99 and the watch sez “My Dearest Fluffy” fer some gosh dern reason.
I’ll let you barry ma new fine hat inf’n ya find ma gear.
@Sabre99 @sammydog01 @therealjrn well thats a shame, Ill keep an eye out. Did ya check w Sammy? Maybe she sent your sundries out for a cleanin
@Sabre99 @sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 Fer sum dad blame reason that Sammy was pre-terbed this morn. Sumptin’ ‘bout me falling asleep in the middle a sumptin’
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I dunno, I caint figure deez here fillies out.
@Sabre99 @sammydog01 @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 She’s prob perturbed at you for not settling up w/ her like you promised…you could be dead in the morning…unless you are a bandit…
@Moose Daggum, I swear, seems like our whole town has taken up residence at the saloon. No wonder we keep gettin’ picked off, we’z too inebriated to see it comin’. We all need to sober up and think straight. Anybody got any coffee and pain powders? My head and my feet are killin’ me from all this dancin’ and saloon’n.
@amehzinggrace @Sabre99 @sammydog01 @tinamarie1974 I shore iz no bandit, so’es I hope I don’t wake up dead!
@Sabre99 @sammydog01 @therealjrn @tinamarie1974 No point in botherin the sheriff now…he’s off on another bender…I mean fishing trip (I don’t know how to fancy “code”) and we wont see him back 'round these parts til…well it could be a very long night…I say drink up…we all got alot to keep us awake…
Hey you all pipe down, it’s night time.
@Moose
