Let's Play Mafia: This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Fifteen Of Us

@Moose Present. But you know I’m just a poor townie pool monitor.

@Moose We get to execute people? I’m in.

@Moose

Sounds interesting, and I’m assuming I’ll be able to decipher the rules soon.

Count me in.

@PlacidPenguin the short version is: there’s good guys and bad guys. Good guys try to guess who is a bad guy and kill them, and hopefully not a good guy on accident. Bad guys try to confuse good guys. At night, bad guys can kill one good guy. Victory is through attrition.

@Moose

Thanks.

@Moose @PlacidPenguin

Victory is through attrition

Heh. I don’t know why, but this phrase is so fantastic.

@Moose @PlacidPenguin @therealjrn At least we don’t die from dysentary.

@Moose @sammydog01 @therealjrn

Closest I ever got to that was playing Tales of Illyria.

---

Thought I’ll be honest, the game that this thread involves is something I’ve never done before.

Something about needing people to play with, as well as having a vivid imagination.

@Moose Sounds like fun, but all of my grade school report cards said, “Doesn’t play well with others” and I’m also a really sore loser.

@Moose Howdy! Sounds like a real hoot. I reckon ol’ medz is a-willin’ to join this here hoedown. (That’s how they all talk in Colorado, right?)

@Barney

At least they wrote the word ‘well’ for you.

@Moose @sammydog01 People die at the fair

@Barney well I guess you’d better win then!

@Moose WTH, I didn’t sign up!

@Barney

Be careful around the Alces alces.

@Barney Yes you did, it’s right up there, 4 Barney

@Moose what in tarnation? I got me my six shooter and my steed. Let’s get these here bandits!

@Barney Don’t worry we’ll kill you off first.

@therealjrn Nope, nope, nope. This old lady doesn’t play games.

@Barney

@sammydog01 Go right ahead and kill me off. I’m the town drunk named Otis. You can find me sleeping off my latest binge in the jail. Door’s unlocked. Help yourself.

@Barney

I’ll paraphrase to you what Stewie told Santa:

You want us to kill you?..Well, there isn’t a great deal of sport in that.

@Moose
/giphy I’m your Huckleberry

@Barney Ooooh fine, I took you off the list. Party pooper

@Moose

I heard @ChadP saying that he wants to play.

@Moose Thank you and I really do mean that.

@Moose count me in.

@Moose I am completely new to this type of thing but would like to give it a whirl.

@Moose I’m in.

@Moose am i too late?

@Kevin

No, but if you play this game, you theoretically could be.

@Moose sounds like fun

@Moose Me!! Its like werewolf…I can totally do this!!

@Moose Sure, count me in.

@Moose I’ll give it a go even though I have no idea what I’m doing.

@Moose Fine I’ll join.

@Moose I might’ve missed it but how long does each cycle last?

@DrunkCat @Moose

After a player is executed, I will reveal their role and night will fall.

@Moose @PlacidPenguin Ohhh, I thought there’d be a timer. This might get messy then.

@DrunkCat @Moose @PlacidPenguin
Night and day are euphemisms on some level…after we vote…someone dies…night falls…bandits murder a townfolk…day time again…wash, rinse, repeat…beware your neighbors…

@amehzinggrace @DrunkCat @Moose @PlacidPenguin High noon is the time for hangin I done believe.

@DrunkCat @Moose @PlacidPenguin @sammydog01 And yet…maybe not…

@Limewater Yeah I thought about setting a time limit but felt like that would be best to figure out as the game progresses. My guess is it will be more like a leisurely week or two.

@Limewater What’s wrong? Are you chicken?

@therealjrn Nah. I’ve just played before. It hurts the villagers and gives the mafia a serious advantage when people sign up to play and then don’t really participate.
So, I don’t sign up unless I’m pretty sure I have time to pay attention and participate.

@Limewater Ok, I’m sorry I didn’t understand you’re a fraidy cat.

@Moose Maybe setting up a sort of voting poll and only when all votes are in does the cycle tick over?

@DrunkCat @Moose

How about a predetermined amount of time for discussion, followed by a poll?

Also, with regards to the majority, would that mean whoever is the most suspected, or would It have to be a majority of the town?

I.e With 15 people, could a person get executed by having 5 people suspect them, or would 8 out of 14 need to suspect them?

@DrunkCat @PlacidPenguin I’m hesitant to have any polls off-site due to voter fraud, and I’d like to set an amount of time for discussion but I want to wait and see how the game flows with this crowd, since some people are on meh all day and others only check now and again.

RE: majority, initially I thought it would be best to vote for one person, and if they didn’t get the majority (8/15) then people would have to vote for someone else, but now I’m thinking it will be most efficient to have nominations/seconds, and then vote between two (hopefully not three or more) and whoever gets the most votes gets the ax.

@Moose

Since some people are on Meh all day.

@Moose Votes could be sent individually to you… Somehow.

@DrunkCat Yeah I mean people could whisper them to me, but I think votes should be public. There are few ways that the locals can sniff out the bandits, and how they vote is one of them. Locals have to watch everyone’s voting patterns, and bandits have to vote in ways that don’t become suspicious.

Close enough, Giphybot. It’s better than Zach Galifianakis with the good hair.

Oh wait, that was Robert Redford?

@djslack
authentic frontier gibberish

@djslack

I’m taking time to bone up on typing in unintelligible gibberish.

Or you could just ask certain mehmbers to teach you.

@medz that is what I was looking for!

@kdemo Those look fine! They’re just needing a little fixing up.

/and a bunch of red paint.

@dashcloud You in?

@Moose I suspect it was @PlacidPenguin. I mean, a frog pretending to be a penguin, that seems pretty suspicious to me…

@Moose Ol Hyram ya say? Wasn’t he that fella that would always spend odd hours laying with his livestock? I heard he would make strange noises with’em…

@Moose Well, I sure know that it weren’t me. As many of y’all know, I’m just a simple buffalo groomer what moved here from Kansas after the herds disappeared. I thought this would be a nice place to start over. I sure will miss Hyram’s unique musical stylings. I wonder if his meth dealin’ caught up to him… Maybe @DrunkCat knows a thing or two about mind-altering substances… I can only hope the person responsible gets what’s a-coming to 'em.

@PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 Well Mr. Penguin, what do you have to say for yourself?

@Kevin @Sabre99

Lies! All lies.

Ah was jawing with Hyram jus’ a few days ago, an 'e confided in me that ‘e deemed some townsfolk as bein’ shifty.

We all know ole Hyram was eccentric, an was jus’ a lidl too fond awf pahrtakin’ from thuh bug juice, but 'e was certainly wise.

Lookin’ aroun’ this hair courtroom, ah kay-yun see what 'e done meant.

Maah ole guh-randmother usta tell me ta allers be wary awf cats, as thay were jus’ as likely ta stab ya as thay were ta cach a mowse.

Ah hereby reckon that @DrunkCat was complicit in thuh murder awf Hyram.

@PlacidPenguin Ha often would ya jaw with hyram? Did he ever mention how he’d talk about his livestock in a way that’d make it seem that he was fornicatin’ with’em?

Sheriff @Moose, might I ask how poor Hyram was kilt?

@Kevin

Like ah done said, 'e was eccentric. Ah nary bothered ta ask what those noises were, as ah didn’t really wanna know.

@Kevin Hyram did have an odd fascination with opossum skulls, now that you mention it.

@Kevin @medz

As ah done said, Hyram was eccentric.

Thuh cat done it.

First person to accuse is always the bandit. Let’s off @Sabre99 just to be safe.

@medz yus sir – he may have had an odd fascination. howeva, it can get lonely out here in the frontier – a man has his needs.

It’s be a damn shame if he was murdered because of his unnatural thirst.

@DrunkCat @Sabre99 I don’t know… If’n I had done it, I would likely lay low a bit as to not attract any attention. You know, a bit like @tnhillbillygal! I think she’s always been jealous of the attention Hyram got whilst performing in the saloon.

@DrunkCat Now that is just not true. Common sense says if you are the bad guy you keep your head low and try not to draw attention to yourself.

@DrunkCat @Sabre99

Or ya puh-lace thuh blame awn sumbody else.

@medz you might not. Ain’t right to speak that way of the dead, simply ain’t civilized. Now let’s get back to the mob justice

Well @Sabre99 – if you’re going to pull that trigger ya best shoot to kill, sir.

I don’t appreciate you aiming that gun at a fella with out any reason.

@Moose @medz I ain’t never been jealous of Hyram. My paw said my voice is like songbirds in the willow trees. Hyram would roll over in his grave if he heard y’all talking mean on him like all this. Me and Hyram sang together in church as y’all know. I know he liked to sing in the saloon but that was just for foldin’ money so he could give to poor Widow Sanders. Hyram was a saint I tell ya, a saint!

@DrunkCat @medz @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal I been drinkin whilst Hyram been singing at the saloon- that there @djslack character sutffed his hankerchief in his durn ears to drown out the din. Maybe the noise done made him cut Hyram’s neck?

@Kevin Without reason? I gave a reason, he’s a suspicious fella’. One day claims he’s a frog, next day a penguin. He’s got to be hiding something, like an appetite for murder.

@Sabre99 Laying your head low is only if you plan on leaving this one goblin town. You’re planning on killing us all before you decided to hit up the next town.

@tnhillbillygal He may have shown to be a nice man, but if those animal infidelities are true – then by golly his murder may make more sense.

if @moose would clarify for the jury – is there any truth to Hyram laying with livestock?

@DrunkCat Nah, I don’t plan on killing all of y’all. Just some. Until we find who killed Hyram.

I tend to agree with @DrunkCat – Just because ya don’t plan on killing any one of us, doesn’t mean you wont’ @Sabre99

I do believe we should start this onslaught with @sabre99

@tnhillbillygal I’ve known plenty of church-goin’ folk who were as nasty and onery as a western rattlesnake. Singin’ in some choir don’t mean yer innocent.

@Kevin @Sabre99

But ifin’ ya must know, ah was busy helpin’ @RiotDemon with some tasks last naahyt. Jus’ ask @sammydog01; she was waterin’ some cacti nearby.

@sammydog01 Who said his neck done been cut? Ain’t heard no details like that come from the Sheriff. How could you know such a thing unless you done did it yerself?

@PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon @sammydog01 Was that task killing Hyram? Sounds to me like like we have a full bandit party…

@PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon @sammydog01 Well that sho is neighborly-like…ain’t there an expression for that…thick as thieves?

@Kevin @RiotDemon @Sabre99 @sammydog01

@sammydog01 maahyt be a bit air-headed at times, but she wouldn’t off sumbody.

I must say I’m inclined to string-up both @tnhillbillygal and @PlacidPenguin and let the almighty sort 'em out.

@djslack Ah was just aguessin- its not as ifn any body heard a bang

@medz @PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon Dem dere cactuses don’t just water thimeselves ya know

@sammydog01 seems ol @kevin keeps alludin’ to a-hearin some kind of a bang, but a mite different sort. He’s a little hung up on that I suspect, but I also reckon that means he was close by.

@medz

This may soun’ silly, but ah was tryin’ ta take pictyhaws awf @riotdemon awn her pony.

Ya know how ‘ard it is ta git thuh flash powder prepared while a pony is makin’ noises?!?

@medz @PlacidPenguin Well bless your heart @medz. You be ah seemin’ awfully hurried to be puttin’ people under. You gettin’ a kickback from that awful undertaker in town to keep his coffins full? I noticed that new bay mare you just got. Awful shady that you got that new horse right after sweet ole Hyram got fitted for his box.

I’m thinking @medz and @sabre99 are being in cahoots with one another.

@djslack Ah do believe @Kevin owns some of the purtiest cows in town. Mayhaps Hyram was too durn friendly with dem and @Kevin was green-eyed?

@sammydog01 I ain’t sayin’ Hyram loved on them heifers. I’m just sayin’ that I have reason to believe he was. I’m out here lookin fer some truth, now if @moose could clarify if Hyram would love on them animals or not – we could put this theory all to rest.

@tnhillbillygal That there is nonsense talk. Ol’ medz never hurt nobody.

Must say, y’all are some chatty folks. Just wandered in from my midday vittles and found all these gosh darned words staring at me.

I’m afeared I must agree with @DrunkCat, @medz and @sabre99 are up to no good.

@DrunkCat @medz @stardate820926 Up to no good? Maybe. Murder of Hyram? Absolutely not.

'Course not because it ain’t @stardate820926, it’s you @Sabre99 and the doc.

@DrunkCat @stardate820926 The only one ca-hootin’ around here is the owl out in my barn. All I’m saying is I don’t reckon @Sabre99 would be the first to speak if they just got done murderin’ one of the brightest stars in Troll’s Butte.

I don’t know any particulars about Hyram’s personal life, and if I did I don’t reckon it’s my place to share it with the likes of y’all.

Anyone care to nominate a couple candidates? If anyone seconds a nomination, I reckon that’s sufficient to be put on the ballot. Take your time though, I got all day

@Moose Well I ain’t been playing with my cattle, and I know yall been accusing me behind my back. I’d like to go to sunday church without being side eyed.

Let it be known that I nominate @sabre99

@Kevin @Moose @Sabre99 I second that nomination. Cain’t trust dem quiet uns.

@Moose It breaks my humble heart, but I must nominate @tnhillbillygal. Something about that choir girl don’t sit right with me.

@medz @Moose well, @medz I will ask Parson Flanders to say a special prayer for you when circuit brings him back to town. Course it may not be worth a hill of beans if’n everrbody agrees that you have been jist a little too eager to send business to the undertaker. I nominate that shifty-eyed, new-horse ridin’ @medz.

@tnhillbillygal judge not, lest ye be judge. And you can leave my new mare, Bessy Lou, out of this!

@medz @Moose I second the nomination of @tnhillbillygal, if for no other reason than to make the rest of y’all further think that @medz and I are in cahoots. (We’re not.)

Say there, @amehzinggrace. I saw you nodding your head at times during the discussion, but you’ve been awfully quiet. What is your take?

@medz @Moose @Sabre99 Y’all oughtta be ashamed. Tryin’ to slander my character in this town. You’re both lucky my paw isn’t in town. If’n this keeps up, I’ll be sharing all the juicy gossip Mrs. Olsen has been telling about you both. I haven’t divulged such vulgarity simply because a fine lady such as myself isn’t apt to dirty my lips with immoral talk.

@tnhillbillygal

@medz I knew that it was only a matter of time before the good “townfolk” turned on a helpless widow with a baby. Its bad enough that my husband was killed in a mysterious mine explosion that his partner Hyram barely survived…and now Hyram has been murdered.

Hyram had been the only decent person in this town since my husband’s passing. He got me a job at the saloon - cleaning and playing the piano and would sing with me on occasion. He made sure that I got to keep any tips (he’d always throw a little extra my way) and that I didn’t have to compromise my honor by “entertaining guests” beyond the music…

I am a good and honest townsperson that is just struggling to make an honest living and raise my child the best way I know how…

Anyways…my take is those that throw out the first people are those trying to save their sorry skins…look to them for your culprits…

@Kevin @Moose @Sabre99 @sammydog01

Ah triple back thuh nomination awf @Sabre99 as a culprit in thuh murder awf Hyram.

Looks like we got three nominations: @Sabre99, @tnhillbillygal, and @PlacidPenguin. I reckon that’s enough to call it. Anything to say for yourselves before we vote?

@Moose @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal

Ah cahwl shenanigans.

@PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal
So tell us…why should we believe that you are good, honest townfolks and not bandits?

@Moose @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal Nope, as a simple townie pool operator, that @Fluffy seems particularly guilty–if not of this, then something equally bad.

@amehzinggrace @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 I am just dumbfounded at how I got roped into this fiasco. How could my neighbors think that I of all people could be involved with such behavior. Somehow that sidewinding @medz has turned this whole thing around on me when I was just taking up for my friend when everyone was making up tales on my dearly deceased singing buddy. smh

@medz @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal Yep…there were a few tales in there…

@medz @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal
@Kevin throwing alot of shade at dear old Hyram…

@PlacidPenguin I sure do appreciate those purty pikshers you took of me and my mighty fine steed. I’ve been takin care of these here mustangs that I wrassled up from the plains. I’m hoping that I can use the pikshers to help me sell the ones I’ve trained.

@PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon hmm…ya’ll are mighty friendly too…too friendly?

@amehzinggrace

Are you jealous?

@PlacidPenguin … nope… I’m not guilty either

@amehzinggrace

Buy a steed from @riotdemon, an ah will gladly tay-uk pictyhaws awf ya awn it.

@PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon
I can barely afford to pay the rent or put food on my table now that Hyram’s extra support is gone…

@amehzinggrace @PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon Can yall take a piksher of me watering dem dere catcuses?

@Moose
Let’s get this vote going so as though we may bring swift justice for poor Hyram. May he rest in peace.

Seconded. I got my pitchfork, my torch, and some rope all a-waitin out on my horse. When do we get to string up a killer and make an example to bring peace to Troll’s Butte?

rabble rabble rabble

Well I s’pose the accused have had their chance to speak, so I’ll call a vote. One by one, y’all shout out who you think done did this heinous act: @Sabre99, @tnhillbillygal, or @PlacidPenguin. Once everyone has said their say as jury, I’ll do my duty as judge and executioner.

@Sabre99!

@Sabre99

@Sabre99

@PlacidPenguin

(Well if the accused can vote.)

@Sabre99

@Sabre99

@tnhillbillygal
Don’t let that sweet talk fool ya

@Sabre99

@Sabre99 gets my vote for association with that there medz.

@PlacidPenguin

Still waiting for votes from @RiotDemon, @CaptAmehrican, @tinamarie1974, @stardate820926, and @DrunkCat

@Sabre99

@CaptAmehrican @DrunkCat @Moose @RiotDemon @stardate820926 I recon @Sabre99 was pretty quick to claim their innocence. That smells rotten to me!

I agree with @stardate820926 and the others honorable @Moose, @Sabre99 to the gallows.

@Moose
I shure don wanna go against the grain here so I spose I’ll vote for sabre as well.

Well @CaptAmehrican? what ‘ave ya gawt t’ say?

@PlacidPenguin Sidenote: I keep reading your posts in a Scottish accent… not sure why.

@medz @PlacidPenguin I was thinking cockney.

@medz @sammydog01

It was either this or this.

Not only did I discover the second one first, but when I actually tried the first one (just now), I didn’t like the results.

@medz @PlacidPenguin I get pirate…hmmmm

@sabre99 with a sword like name seems potentially violent

@therealjrn I’m inclined to think that you and @medz may be the real guilty parties…interesting how you left @Sabre99 out…

@amehzinggrace @medz @Sabre99 Naw, don’ you go worrying about ole TRJ. I’m as honest as the day is hot. That @Sabre99 might be guilty, but that @Fluffy (with the beady eyes) jest looks guilty as sin.

@Fluffy @medz @Sabre99 @therealjrn
there’s also some suspiciously quiet folks…too quiet…

There’s four people who haven’t spoken up…maybe they’re trying to get us townfolk to eliminate ourselves…

@amehzinggrace @Fluffy @medz @Sabre99 Too quiet!

@amehzinggrace @Fluffy @medz @Sabre99 @therealjrn

(Phone died, and I wasn’t home.)

Who the heck is Fluffy

As a close personal friend of Hyram, I’ll have you know that violence in his name would be the last thing he would want. The fact that @Sabre99 was so quick to point fingers and call to arms seems mighty suspicious to me.

@PlacidPenguin are you @Fluffy?

@amehzinggrace
@PlacidPenguin is indeed Fluffy. Told him telling us his nickname was a mistake.

@metaphore Hey, someone had to be the first to point a finger, if there was no first finger pointer then it is certain that the killer would remain free and kill us all.

@metaphore @Sabre99 @therealjrn @tnhillbillygal
I’m almost inclined now to vote for @placidpenguin …aka @fluffy

@amehzinggrace @Fluffy @metaphore @PlacidPenguin @Sabre99 @tnhillbillygal Why would @Fluffy think they need an alias? That thar iz jest like those Smith & Jones boys…

@Sabre99 So it was just your luck you happened to be the first to speak up? If you are as innocent as you would have us believe then your accusation is completely baseless since only someone involved in the murder would know for sure who is to blame.

@amehzinggrace @Fluffy @metaphore @Sabre99 @therealjrn @tnhillbillygal

Fuhrst awk, ah don’t ‘ave an alias. An ifin’ ya all knew thuh context which fluffy was used, ya would all fill bad about yourselves.

Secondly, ah 'ave an alibi for maah whereabouts last naahyt.

@metaphore I never said I was sure, just that I suspected. Got too many aliases.

@PlacidPenguin Ah always fill bad about meself being the local saloon entertenment that stuck-up @amehzinggrace is too good fer. I think she done strangled ole Hyram for his sock money.

@amehzinggrace wah would I off Hyram- his dollars be the thing keepin yall from putting on that purty dress and competin with me for entertanment customers, and me with one eye an no teef. I saw yall and Hyram in @Kevin’s feld with them purty heffers- dont pertend them dollars come free

@sammydog01
You know very well that I am not competin for your entertainment customers and that I’ve gone out of my way to help you stitch a torn dress here and there and helped clean you up after particularly rough customers. We earn our dollars differently and as a good christian woman I don’t like to see you suffer, but accusing me of deplorable actions is just un-neighborly and makes me fear for my life.

@Moose Oopsie.

@Moose
Peers around suspiciously at the people who threw Sabre99 into the vote

@RiotDemon
Let me hold up a mirror to help you

@amehzinggrace I wasn’t the first to pick Sabre. I was actually one of the last.

Sorry fellah…

@Moose Hangin’ afterparties r da bestest afterparties. Dibs on his boots!

@Moose @therealjrn thass mighty cold.

Well I hope y’all are happy. Poor @Sabre99 … Meanwhile, the dastardly @tnhillbillygal walks free among us.

Well, durn. Shore hope no’uns come up dead tonight.

@djslack Someone will…I suspect that it’ll be me…

@medz What’s your fixation on @tnhillbillygal? why is she a suspect?

@Moose This is why you don’t just start accusing people willy nilly.

@DrunkCat It was more a better them than me scenario.

I will kindly ask that the locals pipe down. You’re supposed to be asleep.