As a special treat for you bastards for electing me goat this month, I made a little game.

How does this work?
Irk's Breakfast Quest is a graphic adventure game we can all play right here on the forum. The main goal is to explore and find Irk the things he needs to enjoy a good breakfast: a main dish, a fruit of some kind, an egg, a drink, a knife, a fork, and a spoon. There are several possibilities for each one, so don't fret about missing stuff.

Explain turns!
Irk's Breakfast Quest is played in turns. I'll post a new turn each weekday about midday EST, forum folks will have until midnight EST to suggest commands for Irk and vote (star) commands suggested by others. I'll figure out what happens and post the next turn midday the next day. Friday's turn will last the whole week-end because hell no I'm not doing this on week-ends too.

How do I play?
There are 3 ways to participate:
ENTER COMMANDS - Tell Irk what to do, for example: "Open box, get key." You can write like it's a text adventure game, or not. I'm not picky. The description of the room will give the exits and describe some stuff to interact with, but there may be other stuff you can do that isn't obvious. Each command can also include directions to go to another screen or return anywhere you've been previously, for example: "Take key, go to town square" or "Take key, return home". You can also look at anything for more info.
VOTE - If someone posts a command, you can star it to agree with it. This basically means "Yeah, do this!" The command post with the most stars at the end of a turn is Irk's official command for that turn, and is (generally) what Irk will do, if possible.
COMMENT - Other posts that aren't commands. Ask questions. Be amusing. Point out what sucks. Just like every other thread. In other words, don't be afraid to post just because you don't have a command.

Is this SFW?
Let's try to keep the tone of the game equal to the tone of the forums. Cursing, double entendre, and so on are fine, but this isn't Rapey McRaperson's Rapetastic Rapeventure. On a related note, please don't be a dick to other players: if you think a command is stupid or someone isn't playing right, just enter a better command yourself rather than insult them. Coming up with creative, funny, or interesting stuff is encouraged.

Can Irk die?
Potentially, but he'll come right back. In the unlikely event Irk receives no new commands for an entire turn, the game will end (Irk dies of ennui). The game will also end if Irk acquires 7 items that can be used to make a breakfast, which finishes the quest.

Is it possible to render the game unwinnable (i.e. by destroying food)?
No. So go nuts.

Is there a time limit / turn limit?

There will be two prizes awarded at the end of the game: The PARTICIPATION prize and the AWESOME prize!
PARTICIPATION will be awarded to the single account that participates in the most turns, either by entering commands or commenting (voting/starring others' posts does not count toward this). If multiple accounts participate in every turn, one will be picked randomly.
AWESOME will be an award for the best individual post, either an ingenious puzzle solution or just general silliness.

Alright, let's get started!