Let's complain about things that mildly inconvenience us.

@MzSooze I hear we’re supposed to have a bad winter coming . I hate the winters here.

@Enigma hugs I hope it’s not. Last year was supposed to be horrible but I think we got lucky.

@MzSooze I don’t like Chicago winters either. But this summer has been really hot and sticky, so I’m enjoying these days now. Today is delightful! Open windows and no air conditioning – yay!

And I love fall, so I’m looking forward to that. After that, I’ll be right there with you complaining about our sucky winter. I’m just not ready to think about it quite yet.

@pitamuffin It’s gorgeous out today!! Love not breaking into a sweet as soon as I step outside. Our autumns are probably my favorite.

I tried really hard not to bitch about this Summer, had to remind myself that I’d miss it once that white fluffy shit starts falling from the sky.

/image much winter too soon

@MzSooze This will be my first winter away from Chicago and I feel happy about it!

@capguncowboy I can’t wait for that… but it’s a little low…

Also, chin hairs. I mean, seriously, what the fuck.

/giphy chin hairs

@PurplePawprints ugh. I have one. One really fucking annoying one. It doesn’t even feel like hair, it feels like plastic when it grows in. Idk wtf it’s problem is, but it’s three times thicker than all my other hair.

/giphy fuck it

@PurplePawprints She can’t have her water bottle? I could understand it if was soda or something that could stain, but water?!?

@RiotDemon Right!?! For me, it started with just one like that, but now they seem to have multiplied. Also, it’s like it grows from nothing to long and visible overnight. Ugh.

@MzSooze Nope, not even water without a doctor’s note. Her pediatrician would probably write one due to her asthma and numerous allergies, but really, it’s not like she’d have the extra hands to even carry it with all the folders, books, binders, etc. she’ll have in her arms.

@PurplePawprints
Sometimes the pettiness of modern life so sux.

@PurplePawprints And at my kid’s school there were no lockers. They had to carry everything, jackets, umbrellas (well most kids opted to get wet), books, lunch… with them all day every day. Either extreme is stupid in my opinion. Control freaks in charge as opposite extremes have been chosen, clearly these decisions aren’t based on actual real problems.

@MzSooze I know a kid that was expelled cause that was not water in his clear water bottle (not urban legend, his name was Jeff and he was selling swigs too). Surely there are water fountains, they are not expecting kids to die of dehydration?

@Pamtha Eek. I suppose keeping them from having water on them in class would be a good thing then. My high school’s water was horrible. About 10 years later they finally updated the piping and added a filtration system. I remember doing a pH test on it during Chem and that was when I decided to never drink it again.

The schools that make up my daughter’s school district had no working water fountains. We live in an area where toxic chemicals were found in the water supply, so they turned them all off. The town has since then installed air strippers and had the water tested multiple times. I guess its been passing and is finally safe to drink. Two of the schools received a new water system this summer, but not the one she is currently attending.

My daughter has to carry water with her, the school is legally bound to allow such. I supply the water bottles, so there isn’t an issue.

@Kidsandliz Yeah, both extremes are ridiculous. I just can’t see any real reason for not allowing kids to have their backpacks in class and/or be allowed to access their locker at any time that they’re allowed to be in the hallway. People scream about safety, but jeez, punish the kids who fuck up, not the entire school population.

@Pamtha I don’t disagree with you to a point, especially if she had her stuff in a backpack with her hands free. But I’m not sure I’m even coordinated enough to use a water fountain while holding a three inch binder, three text books, a reading book, journal, and two folders (her morning load) without dropping something.

@PurplePawprints Is she allowed to carry a purse? A really BIG, tote size purse-- because feminine needs and such. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Seriously, if the girls are allowed to carry handbags, and the larger ones are still in fashion, could she get away with (and would she be willing to carry) something similar to this?

@LaVikinga I actually asked her about that on Wednesday. She said that she doesn’t think they are allowed to because she’s never seen any of the other girls carrying purses or totes. Right now, she’s managing okay (despite my overprotective concerns), so I’m not going to push it. If she begins having issues, though, I’ll call the office and ask if purses or totes are allowed.

@PurplePawprints

Youngest started pre-K. Gotta bring snacks for 20 once a month.

Lots of allergies, so I’m cool with no peanuts, no dairy.

But lots of parents have confused “shit that can kill my child” with “shit my child won’t eat.” Ridiculous list of banned foods: wheat, eggs, soy, tree nuts, etc.

One parent came out and admitted, with zero shame, that she had been letting her four-year-old drink Coke for the last two years, and all of his baby teeth were rottingout, so her kid couldn’t have fruit, fruit drinks, or fruit snacks , and she wanted all of that on the banned list for pre-k snacks.

@MehnofLaMehncha I can get down with the first list of banned stuff, because with a daughter who is very allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, I know allergies are nothing to play around with. With that said, the second bit is ridiculous, as is the expectation that parents provide for the whole class, especially when allergies are present. Each parent should be responsible for sending in their kid’s snack each day. As a parent of a kid with actual allergies, I sure as hell wouldn’t trust 19 other people to reliably buy safe food for my child.

But seriously though, allergies suck.

The row on the right is her reactions to peanuts and tree nuts. Tree nuts are much more dangerous to her than peanuts, though any has the risk of killing her. She had bad reactions to hazelnuts, cashews, walnuts, pecans, peanuts, lesser reaction to almond and none to coconuts.

@thismyusername thanks for the link. I’m not adding another extension to my browser to fix a feature that wasn’t broken until they “fixed” it. I’ll just adjust, or get annoyed and switch to… who am I kidding, I’m not switching. I just wanted to whine.

@Thumperchick I just noticed the first one I listed, I was using the 2nd one since the ‘change’ but look who published the 1st one?

@Thumperchick I don’t like browsers that use backspace to go to the previous page. Many times I’ve been filling out a form, then I click somewhere outside of one of the fields near a spot where I need to fix a typo and then press backspace. It goes to the previous page and I lose all the data I typed into the form. Going forward again does not get back my form information.

@Thumperchick for what it’s worth I like this change, I can’t tell you how many times I got ambushed by backspace when typing a long post somewhere and the text box lost focus.

@cengland0 you might want to grab an extension called Lazarus Form Recovery, it’s what I had to resort to before this change. I still don’t trust things to behave so I’m keeping it for at least a year.

@thismyusername THANK YOU FOR THIS.

@DrunkCat Like grocery shopping?

/giphy buy everything

@MzSooze Grocery shopping for some crab meat.

@RiotDemon
Same with GIFs on iOS’s photos app. I have to text message the files to my myself to view them, which eventually causes the messages app to crash because of longer GIFs.

@carl669
That comment is incomplete because it’s missing your special word. Think now. I know you know the correct word to use.

It really annoys me when @carl669 makes a post without “fuck” in it.

@ruouttaurmind
@carl669 is letting all of us down. All of us feel that painful empty space.

@carl669 was it “Honest Tea” perchance?

@nebnacnud it wasn’t. it was some brand i’d never heard of, sold in a plastic bottle (regular size). i think it started with an ‘f’ or an ‘r’. it’s really bugging me.

@f00l @ruouttaurmind fuckity fuck fuck.

@carl669
We are all so very relieved to know your spirit survives.

@carl669 Thank god. I can get some sleep now.

"i think it started with an ‘f’"

Everything worthwhile ALWAYS starts with an ‘f’ doesn’t it, Carl?

@carl669 Could it have been Fuze? It’s a Coke product, but it might be new to your area. I’ve never tried it because I don’t like sweet tea, or most bottled teas for that matter (cold-brew my own).

@gio thanks, but nope. it was some name/company i’d never heard of before. judging from the bottle, i’m guessing it’s not a very big company. the hunt continues.

@carl669 Red Diamond is the only one beginning with “r” that I can think of, but I think that’s a pretty common brand.

@carl669 Famous Sweet Tea from Milo’s maybe? The packaging is really cheap looking.

@melwin YES YES YES!! a thousand times yes! you are my hero! i don’t know if you’re a guy or girl, but either way, you get a big, wet sloppy kiss from me!

now, if i could just figure out where i bought it.

@melwin Good job! (Now wash that slobber off your face.)
@carl669 Milo’s website has a locater search page. Good luck!

@carl669 Hooray! Glad I could help! I’m a girl, but I’d take sloppy kisses either way.

@carl669 I know that Walmart sells Milo’s, but since I don’t know where you live, that may not be helpful. Can’t say I’ve ever tried Milo’s before but I think I will now because I like sweet tea, but most of the prepackaged stuff is like sugar water and not really any tea.

@gio @melwin looks like the walmart across the street from work sells it! i actually had the no calorie version and it was delicious! not too sweet. the regular one has about 4 tsp of sugar per 8oz. i’m not sure how that compares to other sweet teas out there. sloppy kisses for both of you!

@carl669 It’s 80 calories per 8 oz for the real sugar stuff, which is still better than my 100 calorie per 8 oz Dr. Pepper that I get from Sonic every day. I’ll have to try Milo’s and see if I like it. I live near Walmart HQ so it will be easy to find here.

@carl669 Glad to hear that your quest is likely near its end, but…

@carl669

not too sweet.

I don’t understand this concept; I’ve never had tea that was too sweet!

@ELUNO
You can be sure of one thing: Internet Explorer won’t get that update for at least a year.

@DVDBZN I don’t use Edge much, but it doesn’t look too bad. Anyway, I did install a SlimJet which is Chromium based, so it is pretty much Chrome.

@HemlockTea I just push their carts away. Last week, I really annoyed one who left her cart smack dab in the middle. Approaching and without stopping, I walked around my cart to the front to pull and just pushed hers about 20’ down. “Don’t leave carts in the middle!”

I was wearing the proper shirt at the time.

http://www.teeturtle.com/products/prickly-on-the-inside

@HemlockTea I can’t go shopping with my parents anymore because of this

@narfcake I wish I could do stuff like that but it mostly annoys me while I’m at work, where I’m required to be nice to the customers XD

@narfcake So you are the a-hole that damages the carts and makes their wheels wobbly?!?!

@ELUNO Nope - that annoys me a lot too.

@HemlockTea
Most things about grocery stores, Walmart, Target, etc annoy me. Which might say something about me.

/giphy first world problems

@f00l

@narfcake i like this gif. Ive watched it many times and still cannot believe it!

@HemlockTea Ha! That is so my mom! I take her shopping quite frequently. She is older and doesn’t see so well. She also has circulation issues with her legs, so she likes to push the cart, as it provides support for her. But she is forever leaving the cart in the middle of the aisle, to get up about an inch away from the products to see/read them. (Yes, it’s sad and funny at the same time.)

I’ve told her repeatedly to push the cart over to the side, but for whatever reason, she always forgets. The funniest is when she leaves her purse in the seat part of the cart but will hold on to the strap (to ward off purse thieves) as she meanders off to the shelf (because apparently that is so much easier than just carrying the purse on your shoulder). I do lots of apologizing while shopping with her.

@pitamuffin I’m mostly annoyed at the self-centered people who refuse to be aware of those around them. We had a group of 5 people stop in the middle of the busiest intersection of the store at peak hours on Sunday to hold a 10 minute conversation, blind to the people trying to squeeze around them. DX I make allowances for people like your mother

@narfcake Bonus points if you can guide their cart into a shelf so it knocks down cans. Maybe keep a box of anchovies in your cart so you can slip it into theirs as you go by. Maybe the checkout person will help unload and they’ll never notice it until they get home. Limburger cheese is also an option. This could turn into a sport.

@OldCatLady Nope; the reason is that it’s not the aisle hog that’s going to clean up or put things back, but most likely a store employee.

@narfcake Darn. Forgot that. Okay, place a lightly used tissue in the cart.

@OldCatLady only lightly used?

@OldCatLady

/giphy throw poop on them

@RiotDemon Okay, many stores provide hand sanitizer wipes at the door; one of those would do, too.

@narfcake feel shame for making @pitamuffin cry, now having one more thing to worry about while shopping with mom.
Imagine the horror, old lady being sent down the aisle, 20 feet attached by the handles of her purse.

@Enigma IIRC, it’s an ever-growing cache partition. You can clear it via the bootloader thing, but I never remember how to do it. I google it and cross my fingers, hoping I don’t bork my phone.

@awk I really don’t understand why there are three separate fields any way. I don’t even write my phone number out like that any more…

@awk ikr! why why why don’t they just make it one field??? what is the point?

@katylava Speaking as someone who works for a company using multiple fields for phone numbers, it’s because people are idiots. Even when we specifically ask for the area code to be included, some customers won’t. And it isn’t just customers located in an area where only one code is used, either.

@emilyap there are better solutions to that problem. like spitting back an error message after they submit the form, or even when they focus on the next field.

@awk This reminds me! I was recently on a site where the support request form’s comment field was – too all appearances – a multi-line text box, but pressing Enter submitted the form.

@f00l MTV Live channel is my go-to now. Concert footage from 2008-2012, Bestival Festival 2015 etc. There is no use trying to follow the plotline of Pink’s ‘Funhouse’ concert, but it’s fine for background and occasional glances at the screen. Ballet and a trapeze and -.

@simssj
I thought you could choose which notifications?

@simssj This is one of the reasons I don’t use Waze very often… the roads around here have potholes and there are speed cameras and red light cameras and all sorts of other shit that I don’t need/want to be told about.

@simssj @thismyusername I’m sorry, the jerk store did call you when you were away. They said they are running out of you!

@carl669
Well…
Are you going to use your special word, as you promised?

Or are you just going to waste our time and let us down again?

/giphy fucking co-dependent

@Ignorant I thought it was mild inconveniences only?

@hollboll shit, you’re right.

@Ignorant @hollboll

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/allergic-to-humans-1

@Sabre99
Need.Vehicle.Mounted.Missile.System.

/giphy torpedo

@Sabre99 In MD you were always allowed to pass on the right — because lingering to the left was also legal. I long supported swapping this law around, because as much as I’m okay with passing on the right regardless, lingering to the left is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Anyway, we ended up switching our law around in recent years, and it made me realize… of the two things, one is far more enforceable, and it’s not the one that pisses me off. The silver lining, I suppose, is that reading through the MD code I discovered that if you honk at someone in the left lane, they are legally required to move over. Again, totally unenforceable, but I like that there’s some kind of law encouraging me to honk at assholes now.

@brhfl
At least the lawmakers made the attempt there.

@carl669
Some of these web people just hurt us on purpose, I think.

@carl669 That’s so damn wrong, but it sure cracked me up.

@f00l Some of them have no common sense and certainly don’t ask anyone’s opinion about their stupidity. These are probably the same dumb assholes who write security questions like: who was your third grade teacher, your high school mascot, the street you lived on when 12… I mean seriously? They must all be under 20 to actually remember this trivia… These are the same people who make websites in incredibly tiny type while presuming everyone is going to use a 50" monitor… (lets just say that a system I have to use we were likely beta testing the beta test and on a 13" laptop there was 3.5 inches of useable vertical space, down from about 6" and they saw no problem with that because it wasn’t like that on their giant monitors!).

@Kidsandliz
Have you noticed that “normal user usability testing” is not a priority?

@f00l it very rarely is, especially for small companies.

@carl669
And v large companies also.
/giphy usability

@f00l you are being generous to think it is even a priority, even if a low one, at all…

@carl669 you can usually use the arrow keys to cycle the options in the drop down field.

@jbartus never! if you’re putting MM as the example, you damn well better be using 01, 02, 03 etc.

@carl669 Oh I agree it was poorly annotated, just noting the keyboard need not be abandoned.

@AnnaB

@AnnaB You mean after you make a turn?

@AnnaB On one of those signs that warn you of accidents ahead, I saw in MO, “Turn signals. The original instant message. Use them”.

@DrunkCat AAARGH! That makes me so crazy.

/image Seinfeld Really?

@duodec Here it’s Kias and compensatory big pickups.

@duodec is it honda or being in illinois that mildly inconveniences you?

@eeterrific Being in ill-annoy would be inconvenient in any case; it sucks. Fortunately it won’t be too much longer. But the hondas are everywhere, like locusts. Drove to visit my parents two weeks ago and a distressingly high percentage of the bad drivers on the freeways were in hondas or glorified hondas (acuras). Still the same here when I was out on the road today. Bad hondas everywhere amidst a smattering of other makes.

Maybe its just being in a honda that impacts the ability to drive properly, and not particular to illinois.

@0Wise1 At my work the garage entrance is on the second floor and there is an escalator to the lobby. I could take the stairs in the middle but that 15 seconds is like my moment of zen contemplation to prepare for the office day ahead.

As for going back up, yeah, I’m just lazy.

@0Wise1 Me too, until I took a trip with a person with breathing issues. Any long distance walking was hard. I felt like an ass because I got way ahead of the group when I did not notice.

@Pamtha https://www.amazon.com/Bounce-Month-Outdoor-Fresh-Dryer/dp/B003VYRHZS

only $70

@Pamtha the dryer bar was great for my ex who kept forgetting to put a dryer sheet in… But I didn’t think they left enough scent in the clothes, so I stopped using it when he moved out. Honestly I didn’t even know they discontinued it.

@RiotDemon Yes! Not for the smell, but for the static.

@communist I am suffering with sheets.

@Pamtha for static you could switch to wool dryer balls.

@Thumperchick @Pamtha I use those and vote

@brhfl I love them. Especially now that you can get a 6 pack of them for around $12 on amazon. They shorten drying time, keep pillows in proper shape, get rid of static…
The only thing that dryer sheets have over the wool balls is pet hair removal. Nothing removes pet hair like a dryer sheet.

@Thumperchick I never much cared for dryer sheets as I always had a tendency to feel oddly itchy in clothes that had been run with them… then I found out the vast majority of them are not vegetarian-friendly, which was a great excuse to just give up on the whole thing. I feel like things were fine without any additional dryer toys, but the balls are a nice touch.

@Thumperchick Why has no one ever mentioned these? My husband leaves dryer sheets all over the fucking place and I’m sick of picking them up.

I just went to Amazon to buy these - there’s a coupon code for $5.00 off. Score!

@mollama That’s why I started buying men’s clothes. When anyone asks all I say is ‘Pockets!’ and shove my hands in them.

@mollama eshakti dresses almost always have pockets.

@mollama My daughter plays tennis. She likes boy’s shorts for the pockets. Apparently the girls wear spandex shorts under their skirts and shove the balls up under them. Stupid.

@sammydog01 When I played tennis in HS (a long time ago ), the shorts were, ummm, short and the pockets were too small for the tennis balls. While serving, the extra ball just went in with the leg
/image mens tennis short shorts

Decorum foul! Nobody goes shirtless in tennis! I was in a lot better shape back then, but not quite like this

@compunaut Is that a tennis ball in his pocket or is he glad to see me?

@beavsco honestly, you’d probably save money getting the Band-Aid brand because you wouldn’t go through so many – although, it’s probably a good idea to change your bandage a few times a day anyway

@beavsco If you have an Ikea nearby, these hold very well and are affordable.
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60303424/

I like that it’s not a bunch of tiny sizes like many variety packs either.

@beavsco

@narfcake I have so many packages of the Ikea brand bandages. I absolutely love them, and are so affordable.

@narfcake Thanks. The nearest Ikea is about 50 miles away, or about an hour and a half to two hours in Atlanta traffic. I’ll probably just order them next time I need something from there.

@beavsco i’ve always thought overall it is healthier to change your bandage when it gets wet, because the pad will absorb water. Now you have a moist pad against your wound, which is the opposite of the point, plus not sterile water so no longer sterile wound cover. Therefore if getting wet causes the sticky part to come off, now i don’t have the unpleasant task of ripping it off, so all good.

@mikibell Dell seems to have decided that the menu key is completely unimportant (not even on a function layer!) on my work machine. And while I’m complaining about this thing, the trackpoint buttons are sticky mush.

@brhfl I feel like my fingers are doing twister on the keyboard… pinky to home, thumb to ctrl, and haven’t figured out the right finger for Fn… either pinky or thumb… smh…

@mikibell If you’re able, you might just be better off remapping some of the keys so they better suit you (first thing I do on a computer is remap caps lock to ctrl; and this dumb thing has its right ctrl turned into my missing menu key).

@brhfl probably a good idea… and then it is even more fun when someone else tries to use my pc!!

@capguncowboy
we feel your imaginary pain
/giphy imaginary pain

@f00l But fucking around on the internet is a HUGE responsibility! Go post on the Last to post thread! NOW!

@Felton10
/giphy force choke stare

@Ignorant
Beauty and Grace embrace you while they steal your wallet.

/giphy pickpocket

@0Wise1
Recommend brain removal for this

@cranky1950 that’s what you get for buying a computer targeted at non-business users for business purposes.

@cranky1950 This seems to have gotten a few decent reviews: https://www.amazon.com/LandingZone-Docking-Station-MacBook-Display/dp/B00HJAEO1U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472332119&sr=8-1&keywords=macbook+pro+dock+station

@fjp999 Thanks, looks ok. I’ll have to get one. Still its not as good as the Dell or HP solutions.

@jbartus I didn’t buy it they took away my I-7 Dell and stuck me with this carp at work. Meh

@cranky1950 ew

@f00l
/giphy You must be joking

@Pamtha
No just
/giphy Joe King

@f00l
/giphy there are no bad giphys!

@ELUNO
/giphy I agree!

@melwin
/giphy Bad Giphy! Bad! Bad! No! Bad Giphy!

@f00l
/giphy that one IS bad

@melwin
/giphy time-out for giphy

@f00l
/giphy f00l has been very naughty Giphy. Show him who’s the boss.

@ELUNO
https://meh.com/forum/topics/12-historical-women-who-gave-no-fucks-and-other-stories

/giphy she’s the boss

@RiotDemon I feel like they can’t even get that right with paper half the time… there’s no hope for cardboard. That said, I ripped up a box of Mamma Chia goo snacks today that was so oddly perforated, I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be done. Like those purses where the whole thing is a zipper…

@RiotDemon Or cheap toilet/kitchen paper rolls! They always end up ripping through the middle!

@ELUNO kitchen paper, isn’t that a European way to say it?

@RiotDemon I did go to a British school, so I might have subconsciously said it that way, but I would usually have used “towels” with that…

@ELUNO
Aha! Confession!

/giphy Eurotrash alert!

@f00l
/youtube Euro trip mi scusi

@f00l Not European, sorry

@RiotDemon haha I love that movie. Scotty still doesn’t know

@ELUNO
You went to school there. Even a little bit can ruin you.

/giphy cooties

@f00l It was a British school but it wasn’t in Britain.
You will take my cooties and like them!
/giphy germs

omg, that is the most ridiculous thing ever…

@ELUNO
If one of your schools was associated with the term “British” to any degree whatsoever, you got a possible mental infection with Eurotrash cooties.

So what if you know of the “wine-dark sea” and Latin or Greek both forwards and backwards and more than 10 sec worth of history and actual demonstrable literacy? You think that keeps you safe? Hah.

/giphy Eurotrash cooties

@f00l I don’t know that, though I do know the beggining of The Canterbury Tales and at some point in Middle English.
But the best thing that actually keeps me safer is knowing the much more superior metric system.
/giphy safe!

@f00l I was actually born in Europe… Am I Euro trash too?
/giphy concerned

@RiotDemon Well hello there Euro treasure!

@RiotDemon
@ELUNO

Re: Eurotrash jokes:
Way too long. Took a joke from above and went nuts here. If you read, you risk.

/begin minor rant

Being born in Europe doesn’t infect you, nor does living in Europe. What infects you is attending some upper-class twit school in the EU, or an upper-class twit school that “feels” like an EU school or strives to carry the values of an upper-class twit school in the EU, or uses some kinda UK or continental “vibe” in the promo lit.

Actually these can be excellent schools - and absolutely amazing on literature, languages (esp dead ones), history, and the classics among other areas. They are also notoriously, and perhaps somewhat terminally, insular and self-referential. And they come with the stated or unstated assumption that the kids will do just fine thru their social savvy or social connections and having the “right education” as opposed to people who have to achieve something before they get to be successful.

Some of these (pre-university level) have world-class faculty. Although the good ones do tolerably well with sciences, it may be that none of them can teach tech and help students live and breathe tech - or live and breathe the idea of endless possibility - with the fluency of any decent American public high school, even a school from a farming town of 10,000 people.

Students coming out of these schools and heading for “name” European universities will often be incredibly literate, often astounding writers, often excellent agitators (see both Nick Denton and his nemesis Peter Thiel - you may not love them, but they’re both restless, creative, obnoxious, relentless world-changers). However, many of these students will start out in a near successful state, strictly thru connections, and will progress that way. Still. (“I see you went to school with…” Over here the take on that would be, “WTF? Is this person a star-fucker?”) And way too many EU top grads will aim for government jobs because lifetime employment and vacations and all those perks and influential and close to the seat of power and <gag>.

When you consider the incredible, educated human capital Europe has, why don’t they invent more? Try more? Do more? Why does Europe, while maintaining the literate and diplomatic achievements and the ability to maintain connections all over the world, and a thriving financial sector, do so little else to create the future? Are they really ready to slide into a weathly historical and cultural theme-park and vacationland and connectionland for the tourist and business-travel industries? Why bother with Disneyworld Paris when you can get a Eurail pass (I am way jealous about EU passenger rail) and do “Western Cultural History: The Theme Park” which is the size of a small continent?

Joking aside, these EU flavor schools need not kill you. I’ve known a few folks who did Phillips Exeter or Phillips Andover or did time in a trad EU boarding palace, and came out fine. I am insanely jealous of the quality literary and historical education you can get at these schools, since I got mostly state-approved-barely-anything.

But I wouldn’t trade a tolerable-to-decent American teenage existence for the best European one, not at any point postwar, if you have a safe home and a halfway decent school. I suspect normal teenage EU life is much like life here, but something can happen in the upper crust system that’s not all good.

What I got, that you can still get, on this side of the Atlantic: Open roads. Open skies. Ultralights and homemade aircraft. Radio controlled anything. Street music that comes from the Blues. Your friends. Hacking around with an OS. Cars, and messing around with them. Wheels wheels wheels of all kinds. Tools you just kinda invented on the spot. Home welding shops and glassmaking shops and crafts and just try it already and homemade jokes and homemade culture. Stuff that people on Jackass never thought to do on camera. Weird sports that might catch on. The interstate system, clogged up as it is. Not being closed in.

The jokes that city folk tell about country folk and that country folk tell about city folk. The sure knowledge that normal people and poor people don’t have to deal with “their betters” because there is no such group as “one’s betters”. (Doesn’t exist. Just ask Mark Twain: the Duke and the King are con men on a raft on the Mississippi; and the Duke of Earl is a fine soul musician, not some power center to suck up to.)

The great empty places. The notion that starting a biz, spending your life in a small biz, is something anyone can do. The crazy secret places - rock quarries and basketball courts and alleyways and game rooms and the back rooms of comic book stores and tennis courts and IT labs - where you hang out with your friends. The places where your parents drop you off and don’t worry too much. Our great-grandparent’s lives and stories. How your family got here. The things people figure out how to do because there’s no expert around to do it. “Repair” is a word with roots from the old world. But “fix”…that word came strictly from life on this side of the Atlantic.

Let the literate Europeans make much fine art and lit: let them make psychoanalysis (nothing against it, as a hobby, if you have the bux); let the upper-class twits among them make books and films about the subtle savagery of life, finely told; about how modern civ has stolen your soul, how all is plastic, whatever, relationships are illusions, we all just wander in the void, or perhaps we’re nasty to each other in the void…Hey, Meaninglessness! Howdy! Intellectual Corruption! Hey there, how’re ya doing? Godot shown up yet? Damn, that cat must be traveling on Existential Time! Motherfucker! Sartre got a buzz on down at the cafe? Good. Maybe I’ll wait for Godot down at the cafe w my bro Sartre and get a buzz too. Motherfucker Godot. Hey, I just shorted Nausea in the market. Think the price is droppin’. Jean-Paul will have to get his stash somewhere else today.

(The hypocritical truth, when I’m not ranting: I love all that literary/ philosophical stuff, since it’s often wonderful when it doesn’t kill you with pretension.)

And we on this side can make 10 billion variants on Rocky and Huck Finn and Animal House and Shaft and Star Wars and The Godfather and all the Tarantino imitators and the comic book sourced films. We can make endless films with excessive lens flare. Some of those films will be pretty damned good.

They say the western frontier officially closed in 1895, I suppose that’s when someone stopped giving land away. But we all know the frontier never closed. Still there. Just look up.

/end minor rant

Tl;dr version:
It sux. Have fun.

/giphy giphy

@f00l Seems like a huge over-generalization…
/giphy that’s racist!

@ELUNO
Nope. Culturalist.

/begin more stupid rant.

EU and so forth do what they do very well. Seriously civilized, with seriously civilized and humanistic values. Lit. History. Philosophy. Internationalist. Amazing dedication to moral causes and NGOs. Huge humanist generosity. Broad perspectives. World-class POVs. Well, a lot of EU. Not the xenophobes so much.

EU offers the necessary whispering critical voice that an actual superpower needs in its ear, whether the crit voice is onto-something or off-its-rocker or just an arrogant superior whispering twit.

EU is amazing for what is it, and mind-blowing for what it has been for now 3000 years. All that fucking history.

What the EU might be able to do and doesn’t choose to do is to take on the future. Which means Write The Checks And Pay The Goddam Bills, for better or worse. Invest Insubordinate Invent Invent Invent. Dare to be unsophisticated. Do something. Hold up the fucking sky so it won’t fall.

Think for a min. SE Asia has insane population, talent, energy, and now oncoming major tech, economics, and education. Africa will, I pray, find its feet someday soon. The middle-east will grow or tear itself to shreds - or both. Russia is poised to turn the former USSR area into “super-Russia”, the state is run as the world’s largest mafia, and the leadership had incredible “great game” savvy, political, economic, and military - and is completely ruthless. China is merely ready to control the world’s economy, and if we aren’t very careful, they will control the world’s tech and finally military tech also. The have the population, the education, the culture, they might pull it off, and fast. Also completely ruthless.

How much do you admire the current political systems of power in any of those places? Not so much? Well, suppose EU had to stand on its own all by itself? That would be incredibly tough by any measure, even with ideal circumstances in EU.

Suppose EU had no Western Hemisphere to turn to? Ok, oceans and geography and vast resources help. But if the EU had to hold the line by itself for any kind of long term dominance by what we think of as civilized values, to turn only to its own resources, to preserve the kind of world we might want, do you see them having the attitude to even try, jic, even tho the task might be impossible? Or are they just to used to having other people pay that bill?

They have the population, the wealth, the tech, the economy, the education, the history, and a long list of other strengths. Maybe they’d face impossibly dark times in some future and just take it on. I don’t know.

In the meantime, there is a reason why my family and yours left France and the UK and Sweden and Denmark and Russia and wherever else, and not just because starvation. And a reason we don’t all want to move back, at least not for good.

I actually love upper class twits. Related to some, distant and near. Descended from some. Also descended from some peasants and prob from some horse-thieves, so, good mix. Love that classy quality education, am envious, would have wanted it, but getting it would prob not have been worth giving up the one I got, the education that did not happen in school.

All good I spoze.

/end stupid rant

/giphy atomic cafe bomb

@ELUNO
Ps the tl;dr “it sux. Have fun” coda of the earlier was not about the EU.

was more intended as about possibilities everywhere, at least in the places people can have fun.

Hope they do.

@f00l
/giphy that’s culturalist!

@f00l The world is an ever-changing place. We just have to be hopeful and try our best to steer it in a good way!

@ELUNO
Yeah
/giphy sigh

Attempting to disconnect /rant function …

I never manage to convey whatever I imagine I thought I intended, anyway
/giphy headache

@f00l now that is a clever optical illusion

@narfcake
/giphy Here, kitty video! Here, kitty video!

@f00l See! Not enough cats!

/giphy here kitty kitty kitty

@narfcake
/giphy tiger tiger burning bright

@narfcake
I tried loading various phrases for tiger vids. More than 20 times. Got Britney. Got Tiger Woods. Got sports teams. Simpsons. More sports teams. A landscape. More Simpsons. Not even Tony the Tiger.

WTF?

Finally got an actual tiger by quoting Blake?

/giphy Tony the Tiger

@f00l
/giphy tiger roar

@f00l Damn! My waifu!

@ELUNO What, my posting it twice wasn’t enough? I tried deleting it (before posting it at all), and I couldn’t. Perhaps @Thumperchick will show up and magically delete both my posts (or for pity’s sake, at least one of them).

@Shrdlu I’m just a trend follower.

@ELUNO
/giphy copycat

@narfcake?

@f00l Oh sure, question the guy with the catshirts. It’s August; you’re supposed to just blame @sammydog01!

On another note, catshirtswoot has a new cat shirt today.

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/pondering-lifes-biggest-mysteries

@narfcake
I wiz calling u cause I found a kitty vid. Wanna share.

I blame cats for this.

/giphy blame the cat

@f00l Thanks.
/image sharing cats

/giphy tiger tiger

@Yoda_Daenerys
@ELUNO
@shrdlu
/giphy Tiger eats Yoda while quoting Blake

@f00l
/giphy Tiger eats Blake while quoting Yoda

@f00l
/giphy Yoda eats Blake while quoting Tiger

@ELUNO
/giphy Yoda Tiger’s blood Charlie Sheen

@melwin
Asshole bees.

Here is from Google:

After the stinger has been removed and the wound cleaned, you can use one of these 8 bee sting remedies:
Ice. Apply ice for 20 minutes. …
Honey. …
Lavender essential oil. …
Crushed garlic. …
Plantain. …
Baking soda and vinegar. …
Toothpaste. …
Meat tenderizer.

Friends have mentioned meat tenderizer in particular.

@f00l I didn’t see a stinger, but I think I may have knocked the bee out of the way when I kicked my sandal off in the driveway and it didn’t get a chance to leave the stinger in. I cleaned it and put antibacterial ointment with a painkiller supposedly in it on the toe and it didn’t help. I don’t have lavender essential oil, plantains, vinegar, or meat tenderizer so those aren’t going to work. I’m back to the ice for a while because it’s the only thing that helps. I do have honey, but what kind of message does that send those asshole bees? I’ll try it next though if it doesn’t stop hurting after this round of ice.

I’m just glad I didn’t have an allergic reaction because I have had one in the past, but don’t know what caused it, and, like a lot of other people, I have no EpiPen. I am just a few blocks from two hospitals though, just in case…

@melwin
if you have bees in the area, perhaps get meat tenderizer jic for the future. I should do that. A wasp got me lightly a year or so back.

PS did you try toothpaste?

@f00l I have bees living in my landscape timbers in the front yard. I just moved in last month so I haven’t got all the quirks of this house figured out yet. The guy who did the lawn cleanup before I moved in got stung twice while he was weed eating. I try to stay away from where they live, but today I guess my car annoyed them and when I got out one jumped on my toe. I’ve heard that toothpaste provides short term relief but that’s what I’m going to try next. Three hours and it’s still throbbing like crazy.

@melwin
Had some rural property for a while. So romantic, I thought, until I had to deal with drought, frozen pipes, broken well pumps, and fences that functioned like open gates.

Oh yeah. I learned not to wear sandals in high grass - or simply to wear boots in tricky areas or when not near the house - after I almost stepped on a rattlesnake. Fortunately I jumped back faster than it woke up or whatever.

Hope something around the house helps. Or can you get a friend to go pick something up for you from the drugstore?

@f00l I think time may be the only thing that will work. Ice on, ice off, and time. It’s been 4.5 hours and it’s still throbbing, but it’s a bearable pain now. Been in this house a month and already had the air conditioner go out, the septic system is acting funky, and now bees. The price I pay for not living in a cramped apartment anymore, I suppose.

@melwin (and @f00l) I strongly recommend using this instead of all those folksy methods.

https://www.benadryl.com/products/benadryl-extra-strength-spray

Please note that it says nothing about stings, but I promise, it will help (in future, too late for now). You might also try ammonia on the toe, if you’re sure it was a bee (it won’t hurt you if it wasn’t, but it won’t help either). Ammonia works against the injected poison from the sting.

Bees are best handled at night, when they’re sleeping (if you’re considering removing the wood pile).

@Shrdlu I used Benadryl last time I had an allergic reaction, but this time it was just pain. I don’t have any ammonia, but the pain is starting to lighten up a little. And I am not going to handle any bees at night, or any other time of day. Someone else is going to have to come take them out. I don’t mind them being there, but if they’re going to come at me every time I move my car they will have to go. Last night I was pulling out of the driveway and a bunch of them attacked the car windows! Good thing I had them all rolled up or it would have been bad.

@melwin
Do you know if the bees are Africanized? A few people around here have died of Africanized bee attacks in the last decade. (These were mass stingings where the person could not escape, not a few stings). Clearing deadwood or dealing with those huge round hay bales seems to be a risk if the stuff has been sitting there for years.

Also stinging insects can get into the walls or underneath an older house to live. Make sure the prob isn’t your house.

If a rental, I’d try to get the landlord to deal with it.

@Shrdlu
Ps thx re Benadryl. Thought of it, but had no info. Good to know.

@f00l I do not know if my bees are Africanized or Europeanized (heh) and they live in the landscape timbers in the yard, not in the house (yet.) My parents are my landlords, and my dad grew up on a farm so he’s like “bees…meh…big deal!” So I will pursue bee removal options on my own, unless my stepmom gets stung, 'cause then there will be hell to pay. My toe still has a mark, but the pain has mostly gone away.

@f00l I’ve been witness to that…
/giphy mirror

@f00l
/giphy calling the kettle black

@compunaut
/giphy hypocritical ranter

@ELUNO
/giphy who’s the fairest of them all?

@f00l
/giphy me!

@f00l
/giphy Thumper chick

@Thumperchick
Treasonous answer!

Thou art far less fair than PuppyCat! There is no compare!

For this crime I sentence thee to 100 years of Parenthood in Chains!

/giphy PuppyCat

@zachdecker Always follow the directions and “Shake well” before using.

@RiotDemon That, but expecting to get your drink on on the train. Having that warm booze tormenting you for an hour-and-forty-minute commute is just too much…!

@RiotDemon But you have like 20 pounds worth of ice balls!

@ELUNO some drinks you just don’t put ice in!

@RiotDemon Then you need some of these

@ELUNO that’s pretty clever. I drink so rarely, it would be a waste on me. I wonder if someone I know would like it as a gift, however.

@RiotDemon What flavor(s) is/are your favorite?

@RiotDemon I’ll take one!

@compunaut I usually drink amaretto sours if I’m getting a drink from a restaurant or bar. Smirnoff Ice had a grapefruit flavor that tasted just like straight up grapefruit juice. I haven’t been able to find it again, but they had some other seasonal flavors that I figured I’d try. The watermelon, strawberry acai, black cherry with lime, and hurricane punch flavors were terrible. Totally undrinkable. The Moscow mule was pretty good. I have peach Bellini and screwdriver to try still. Their green apple is decent. Very jolly rancher in terms of apple flavor.

I actually do not like beer.

Haven’t had Smirnoff Ice, but tried Traveler Grapefruit Shandy (I guess a juice/beer blend?); very refreshing & not beer-y. What about hard cider (there’s a lot more available these days) or Mike’s Hard Lemonade?

@compunaut I tried Redd’s apple ale, two different flavors, and they just weren’t for me. I’ve tried some other brands, but I can’t remember what they were. The Smirnoff Ice is the only apple thing I like, so far.

Mike’s hard lemonade needs more lemon flavor.

I basically like my alcohol to not really taste like alcohol, haha.

@RiotDemon “I actually do not like beer.”

@ELUNO sorry. I guess I’m dead to you.

I do have a t-shirt of Pam though. Does that help?

/giphy Pam and Archer

@RiotDemon Why yes, yes it does. You are now in life-support. Also, you can add your own lemon to a Mike’s Hard Lemonade! (Or maybe try some true lemon?)

@RiotDemon Hmmm… Redd’s isn’t really cider; it’s apple-flavored beer (ale). Another example is
/image Shocktop honey crisp apple wheat beer

I recommend you try, say Ace hard apple or peary cider. Yummy!
/image Ace peary cider

@compunaut next time I’m at the liquor store, I’ll see if they have them.

I’m just glad they sell individual bottles of things.

Luckily the last few times I’ve bought a six pack of something I didn’t like, I was able to leave it at someone’s house to deal with.

@RiotDemon Free beer? Best guest ever!

@compunaut so they didn’t have the cider you suggested… So this is what I got instead:

Ginger ale, lemon lime, cherry cola, and a pear cider.

Of course they weren’t cold… So I haven’t tried any of them yet.

@RiotDemon Give us your reviews?

@compunaut the pear cider went down the drain after two sips. It tasted like beer. The ginger ale was… Tolerable, but I wasn’t crazy about it and it just kinda sat next to me as I slowly sipped it. Then it got warm and definitely lost the little appeal it had. The best damn cherry cola when I first popped it open smelled like IBC black cherry soda, and then it smells like a bar that needs to be cleaned. The taste was like, oh it tastes good… Wait… Oh no, tastes fucking terrible. The lemon lime smelled good. I thought I might drink it, but after a few sips I decided life is too short to drink terrible alcohol.

So they were all fails for me.

/giphy fail alcohol

@Ignorant
So you are a fanboy of non-fanboys?

/giphy not a fanboy

@f00l - Here’s on from her 7 month pics.

Yeah. It’s been 7 months. She’s growing too fast.

@Thumperchick That unicorn…!

@Thumperchick
i feel much better now. Thanks to PC and her unicorn!

@Thumperchick
PS. Examining that pix closely, I believe I see a future example of:

Trouble On Two Legs

/image terrible twos

@brhfl
cant you just always use ssh? or you could simply do what i do - typos and self-cursing.
/giphy typos

@f00l That’s an odd giphy for “typos”

@f00l One of the servers I need to remote into at work doesn’t have ssh running, don’t ask me why…

@melwin
yeah, i was looking for a relevant giphy. but then that one showed up. beyond random. but still, kinda wanted to keep, give a stray a home.

@f00l I like it but it just doesn’t make sense with typos. Let’s try another.

/giphy typos

@ELUNO
What do you drive?

@f00l It’s a C-Max Energi. It doesn’t do a lot of miles on electric mode only, but it is enough for my weekly commute. I haven’t had to fuel up in forever, but I get the confidence that I can drive long stretches without getting stranded.

@SirLouie And now without backspace=back it meant Chrome was dead for me.

@walarney you could try being really nice to someone at the parts counter at your local dealership and ask them to look up the part number by your VIN. If you are cool to them, they are generally helpful like that.

@Thumperchick was the @puppycat account created on the child’s birthday or something like that? sorry the house has been invaded by green slime…

/giphy green slime snot

@Yoda_Daenerys around her birthday.

@Thumperchick
/giphy "green goo"

@Thumperchick oh just you wait until the school years!!! then you and random families will be sharing colds!

@cranky1950 At what time did they pick it up? It’s unfair to count Tuesday as a delivery day if it was picked up during the end of the day.

@ELUNO So, they ship Tuesday night, which they did. Wed, Thur, Friday is 3 Maybe the new math answer is different.

@cranky1950 Nope. Your math is wrong.
Let’s look at it this way.
From Tuesday night to Wed. night = Day 1
From Wed night to Thursday night = Day 2
From Thursday night to Friday night = Day 3
Oh, they don’t deliver during the night? ok, that takes it to the next delivery date which is on Monday.

@ELUNO
FedEx is perfectly capable of making it clear to a customer on which day a shipment might likely be delivered, since Fedex might count the days to delivery differently than a customer who doesnt ship frequently.
I fault Fedex for not being up-front, whether in person, on the web, whatever.

@f00l It seems the tracking system has been very up-front about it. Now, if he went to a Fed-Ex store and the clerk told him it would arrive by Friday, then clearly there is a fault there.

@ELUNO
You want that info in advance. Haven’t used the fedex website in forever. But when someone chooses among service level options, FedEx needs to make the likely delivery date and day of week obvious at that moment.

Do they do that?

@f00l I’m pretty sure they must give that information in advance. I know they did the couples of times I shipped, although that was a business account…

@ELUNO It’s not unfair at all. if they said 72 hours after shipping you may have a point, but business days always run from 7 to 5 whenever ive done business. I’m not the one that said I was gonna get it there in 3 business days after shipping. they picked it up at 2pm on tuesday they should getting it to myhouse by 2 pm on friday is 4 days.

@cranky1950 Well, first of all, I don’t know if they made it clear when you arranged the service online, but having your package picked up at your place is an extra service, which doesn’t count as part of the “shipping” time. The clock doesn’t really start until it arrives at the sorting/processing facility.
And again, you are double counting a day.
Tues to Wed is a day. Wed to Thur is a day. Thur to Friday is another day. That’s 3 days. Not 4.

@Pixy
Resolution:
Disable Workflow.

@Pavlov
Bitch

@f00l yep… that’s exactly what they did…

@harrison
Clearly you could use some direction.

Disable Workflow

There. Feel better?