Last Call for August Blame
6It happens every month. The old goat passes and a new goat steps in to take his place. But you weren't paying attention. You didn't realize the transition was coming!
You're sitting there, weighed down. You still need to blame someone for everything that went wrong last month. If only you had noticed a day or two before! The cursed goat would still be there, waiting to carry your burdens away. Why didn't anyone tell you the moment was passing???
Who do you blame? If you blame the previous goat, someone will tell you he's gone... that a new goat has taken his place and only the new goat should be blamed. If you blame the new goat, he shakes it off, saying, "No way! That's last month's burden."
Don't let this happen to you.
We still have a few hours left. @mfladd is clinging to the edge of August, still able to carry your burdens away. September's scapegoat is coming soon. Take advantage of these final moments and cast your August blame before it's too late!
(Do it here. Do it on @dashcloud's blame thread. Do it anywhere. Just make sure you blame @mfladd today.)
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Also make sure you cast your vote over here: https://meh.com/forum/topics/a-goats-tale-you-choose-his-fate What will happen to him now?
@christinewas Who's awesome? You're awesome.
I blame you @mfladd for my box not quite being right and having to repackage it.
this goat has so many damn threads it's ridiculous
please find herein a guide for dissection
@Lotsofgoats He's a special goat.
I've had a very crappy August. Thanks, @mfladd, and today is going to add to the crappiness. @mfladd, you're doing a great job.
@Barney Wait... Why are you praising the goat on his last day... He didn't even do anything in purple!
For that I blame you for Barney's enthusiasm over something that isn't purple... @Mfladd....
@sohmageek Speaking of purple, I was seeing my new doctor, today, and asked him if he was going to look at my drug stash that he asked me to bring. He said that he didn't need to because I had given him a neatly typed list of my drugs and dosages. Then he said, "Now, if you had written this in purple crayon, I would have insisted that I look at your drug bottles to make sure you were giving me the correct dosages." What the heck? He doesn't like purple crayons? Maybe he hates everything purple? Perhaps I should find a new doctor. I think this is all @mfladd's fault.
@Barney Maybe you should have used purple ink... I Think Purple crayon screams something else...
@Barney I agree with @sohmageek below- purple's not the problem- the crayon would be. Feel free to use a purple pen.
@Barney I think there could be cause for concern. Either, he was insightful enough to know that a crayon you used would be purple, or... he singled out the purple crayon as an especially absurd crayon to use. It's hard to determine which happened, without more info. Maybe everything you had with/on you was purple? Then I'd say you can keep the doctor. Otherwise, you might need to sit him down for some questions.
@sohmageek @dashcloud You guys have something against purple crayons? Some of my best work has been done with one. :)
@Barney So has Harold's! I'm with you!
@christinewas Admittedly, I was not wearing anything purple, not even my purple framed glasses. I guess my excuse was that I was feeling a little under the weather. Unfortunately, I will be seeing a lot of this doctor, so I will have to get to know him and perhaps his strange dislike of purple.
Maybe he was just having a bad day. For now, I will give him the benefit of the doubt.
@Barney If you're trying to get a humorless person to take you seriously, I don't think a purple crayon is the best way.
@Barney
We got this book in a Chick-fil-a kids meal. Trippy.
@Barney - Hope your September is better.
@KDemo Thank you, me too.
@Barney This is an awesome game, and while I can't promise purple crayons, it does let you doodle things that then come to life and help you solve puzzles: Crayon Physics Deluxe
If you like the demo, I'll be happy to send you a gift code for the full game.
@dashcloud Thanks, I'll check it out tomorrow, but I have to admit, I'm not very good with games...
I was going to be good, and keep my wife happy by not ordering a bunch of crap again this month, but here it is at the end of the month and I find I have made 5 orders once again.
Why can I not stop? What is this strange addiction?
At least I know who to blame, and today it's @mfladd!
I thoroughly blame @mfladd for having to go to bed early last night because I felt like crap. Then for waking up feeling worse.
I've wracked my brain all day, but I just can't find anything to blame on @mfladd . I'm turning over a new leaf, and giving up my old catty ways towards our soon to be former goat. Showing my soft underbelly, if you will.
No more abusing @mfladd . I've changed!
That'll do, goat. That'll do.
I blame @mfladd for me not getting every player I wanted in my fantasy football draft yesterday. Thanks to you now I'll have to blame @sohmageek when I lose next month.
I also blame you for the 90 degree weather we are going to have on my first day back to work tomorrow. Stop messing up my days!
@mfladd I failed to mention that if you don't respond by tonight at 11:59pm you are FIRED!
@zdunklee I take all blame for you taking Jay Cutler in the first round.
@mfladd My autodraft will take Jay Cutler, so that will cancel out, right?
This isn't a typical scapegoat post because @mfladd is directly responsible for all of these things. But I needed to fire off the accusations while he didn't have anywhere to deflect the blame. (You'll just have to own it, old goat!) This is merely a sampling of the many terrible things mfladd has done to me this month:
1. Made me realize I'm not a very nice person. Because nice people don't have as much fun mocking someone's mistakes as I have had laughing at mfladd.
2. Brought out the sarcastic jerk I kept tucked away for so many years... and caused it to develop to a point where there is no hope of ever concealing it again.
3. Made me believe that the best way to make new friends is to gang up on the little guy. Because most of my favorite people here are the ones I united with around the cause of beating on the goat.
4. Made all of my other FF league managers look like miserable slackers, by comparison. I'm frustrated with all of these people because of him.
5. Sold me on the lie that I could get enough stars to win something in the forum... by starting a delightfully contentious debate that resulted in my receiving a prize. I don't like being deceived.
6. Made me really appreciate memes and gifs. I respected myself so much more when I wouldn't go there.
7. Made me read a book I never would have read. Now I'll have to read the entire series, because I'm enjoying the first one, thus far.
8. Kept me from a life of crime by giving me something better to do. I would have been a stellar criminal and the intended victims of my abandoned crimes were so deserving of the wrath that would have been coming to them.
9. Made me laugh and have a wonderful time when the world was actually crumbling all around me. That's just psychotic.
10. Helped me cope with life long enough to figure out how to keep going. Giving up would have been so much easier.
11. Was so thoroughly goaty and so satisfying to abuse that I may never feel like I can properly blame another goat after him.
12. Made me unbearably sad today... because this is his last day as goat.
Why, mfladd? Why?
@christinewas This is so accurate to how I feel and what I've gotten up to this month (except for the book, I'm already reading 3..ugh) that I'm wondering if we are really cloned from some other being that we've yet to encounter. And I'd never thrown words on an image until mfladd, unless I'm forgetting something.
I too, am a little sad.
@christinewas God damn it! I am completely speechless again! Just when I learn to hate you people, you pull a 180.
P.S. Have I told you lately that you are verbose? (I blame @joelmw for this).
@christinewas He'll always be a goat in my book.
@mfladd Guesses on how long I can hug before the urge to pop you on the back of the head kicks in?
@jaremelz it's ok. You can be Ron.
@mfladd Blaming @joelmw could be appropriate, under normal circumstances. This time, I blame the fact that there was so much to say. And that's on you!
This one has come up a few times, but here you go, goat:
@mfladd Also... you never really learned to hate us. At best, you figured out how to half-heartedly pretend. You fooled no one.
Here's one more for good measure:
@mfladd Sometimes you seem to actually get me, and that creeps me out. Stop it.
We are past the witching hour. My last act is to take responsibility for everything you have blamed me for.
@mfladd It's still August over here. And... who knows when that little goat beside your name will disappear.
@mfladd I still see a got by your name!!!
@sohmageek Ah, getting started on goating things up early I see.
@mfladd Desperately trying to escape.
