A Goat's Tale-You Choose His Fate!

@jaremelz I know we had fun teasing him, but @mfladd had to be talked into the role, and no one can say he didn't play the goat game to the hilt. Let's find him a nice "farm".
(Even though the community will probably never finish paying for the wars he started. We should have called him a hawk instead).

@KDemo I know. I'm struggling between my urges to make him miserable and my true fondness for his time as goat. He's taken it all in great stride, and really made this a fun month.
But don't tell him I said anything nice, he'll be insufferable.

@KDemo

@mfladd

@jaremelz Old goats don't die, they're just put out to pasture.

@lisaviolet That's quite possibly where he's headed, with a twist.

@jaremelz this seemed appropriate (just in case I do die)......

@mfladd Oh goat, country, really? Are you trying to get me to kill you, regardless of the vote?

@jaremelz this is one of the first songs my daughter would sing all the words to. What? I have an eclectic taste in music. And to me this is country/pop. Not true country.

@mfladd No fair using a kid singing against me.
However, pop country is even worse. So much worse.

@jaremelz I don't know. This is probably the best (most bearable?) song I hear over and over when I visit my grandparents. It's such a relief in the constant stream of country music that I might have even grown to like it. But auditory torture will do strange things to a person.

@mfladd Resisting the urge to comment on the dying "young" aspect of this. Trying... so... hard...

@christinewas What?

@mfladd

@mfladd Hey, at least soon you won't be an old goat. Just old.

Haha, I kid (see what I did there?). Don't worry, I won't dance on your back too hard if you ever succeed in goating me.

@christinewas your grandparents? Nice DIG!

@mfladd I cannot control where you see yourself in the story.

@christinewas I love a really wide variety of music, from Doc Watson to Die Antwoord, from Fleet Foxes (in my ears right now!) to The Fugees, and from The Smiths to Snoop Dog. But country, nope,never.

@jaremelz Smart woman. "Friends in Low Places" started playing at a bar/grill last week and I caused a bit of a scene, shrieking and covering my ears. (@stardate820926 was there.) For a couple of years, when I was in elementary school, our bus driver made us listen to it EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

@christinewas People don't seem to realize that around WA, country is massive. I had to hear it all growing up, just never in my house thank goodness. My father was a gifted singer, who taught me to sing at young age, and country was never on the menu. But everyone I knew? Country. Every restaurant and business played it. I learned far too many of the songs in the late 80s because of my boss at the time. Ugh, it's awful. And I'm proud of you for making a scene!

@christinewas

@Lotsofgoats What? :)

@jaremelz 😒

@Lotsofgoats Don't forget to vote! (I so hope he goes down in flames)

@Lotsofgoats You're just jelly.

@lisaviolet 😒

@PurplePawprints Thank you! My voice is actually courtesy of spinal surgery, the muscles were severed. I have to work to keep it from its now much lower pitch (much lower than what you heard)
It's a bit weird that I've dedicated so much time to making this for him. But he deserved it after the beating he's taken. I recruited my husband for the white house. Of course, then he drew a gorgeous piece of art that I had to pare down to what you see. So there's that guilt. :)

@KDemo Thanks! @mfladd inspires the worst in me.

@jaremelz Yes he does - you've been brutal to him this month. Makes me almost scared of you.

Oh, He Lives!!!!

@looseneck Haha, really you shouldn't. I can't imagine being as mean to anyone else.

@jaremelz I know you are really harmless. You are using @mfladd as you should.

@mfladd Go ahead and deny it, I'll know the truth! And look at these results. They aren't going to let me kill you. And it's so.damn.good. Mwuah, I hope you like my ode to an old goat.

@jaremelz You know I am an Eastie, tired, and have to go bed. For the first time I am speechless here :)

Vote Life!!!!!

@mfladd I'm banking on some good, fine people to not let me down. Vote dies!

@mfladd - Wait, you can't think because you're an Eastie? Okay, you have my sympathy.

@KDemo Naw, he can't think because he's the stupid goat (self proclaimed!). The Eastie had nothing to do with that part!

@christinewas Hey now, I was counting on you to vote death. Ate you guys going to make me rethink my own hopes for him?
I will never admit it, but he's bbeen such a great goat, I'd be sad if I did have to kill him. It's just hard getting past my urges to make him miserable. Sniff.

@jaremelz If anything is going to kill him, it will be our kindness. He needs abuse to live. Can @mfladd keep going in a world where we say nice things? The internal conflict is real. The urge to torment him... the gratitude for his surpassing goatness. Ultimately, I have come to realize this: if it was left to me to put him out of his misery, I would not have the strength to do it.

@christinewas I couldn't agree more. Imagine his shock tomorrow when we start being nice. It'll be his undoing.

@christinewas

@jaremelz Ya, good luck with that.

@juststephen If the people demand be be allowed to live, I'll make sure he is treated well. It will only hurt me.

@duodec Was it a gender confused goat, and we can just have her produce milk to turn into goat cheese to feed the hungry? It's better than being turned into Vinddalu, Sagwala, Kadia or curry.

@beachbum I might have to produce both. Mainly because one kid is dying to make it happen. The other is heavily against the goat's demise.

@beachbum Exactly! I want to see both endings...

@sohmageek Death by cake?

@jaremelz That works... although, I think death by next goat would be funny...

@sohmageek Please tell me you can make this happen. I am not just rooting for you because I don't want it (just harassing @mfladd for a month has me exhausted), but because you'd make a great goat. I dig the way you think! And I've even pledged to be nice to you.

@DrunkCat Losing to you would be pretty humiliating.

@readnj Funny you say that, I still have to read to both my kids because they expect it. At 14 and 9. It's one of my favorite things to do.

@jaremelz You could make money narrating books in general for Audible or something.

@juststephen Thanks! I think it's a bit odd, but it's mine darn it and after thinking I'd lost nearly all of it after surgery, I'm grateful.

@juststephen I actually do that as a part time thing and that is why I say that @jaremlz would be great at it. With today's home studio setups and web audition marketplace for titles, it can be done.

@readnj We'll color me highly intrigued! Maybe I need to really look into it.

@readnj correcting your @jaremelz ping.

@jaremelz There is an Audible (Who is owned by, who else? Amazon) ; subsidiary called ACX that brings authors and narrators together. That would be a good place to begin to understand how it all works together. Then check into home studios etc.

@readnj Thanks for the info! I'll look into the home studio, it sounds a bit daunting though.

@jaremelz disappointed by the results?

@mfladd I'll just have to do it in my mind, I suppose.

@jaremelz actually I want to see both endings (so do others) I want to know how I bit the dust.

@mfladd Accept another goat term (not Sept... we'll let you take a nap) and then maybe you can see it. Hehehe.

@christinewas

@mfladd Aww. Already dreaming.

@christinewas of all of the past goats... I Think @Mfladd is the best candidate! :)

@sohmageek We'll just have to see how your run goes ;) maybe it'd be you!

@jaremelz you could always segue into the story from the OLD goat to his new friend September goat from Vermont..

@mikibell I've got his end planned out perfectly. I just can't work on it now because I'm feeling pretty awful today (I blame you know who). But I might entertain a short bit for the new goat!

@jaremelz http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/I+send+this+to+my+boyfriend+when+he+s+feeling+down+_a51e667f36f46d67a34cabac2ec3af7d.jpg

@mikibell Thank you! I will. Just need to get some sleep! I'll pass out at 9:01 Pacific time.

@jaremelz who?

@mikibell That's so cute! Our goat would never be so nice. But that's ok, it would freak us out if he was!

@jaremelz is this better..

@mfladd

try and shake this one...I stumbled upon it looking for a "whats in the box" meme picture

@mfladd

@mfladd

@mfladd Not afraid of clowns so there!

@TaRDy now you show up you elusive, bastard! :)

@jaremelz That excited horse head should be banned!!!!

@jaremelz I have you here, and then I have @Christinwas coming at me on Slack!

@mfladd Was that a request to come harass you over here?

@TaRDy you are just wrong in some good way.

@christinewas no...because you will just start trouble

@mfladd I'm sorry, are you looking for me to feel sorry for you? Just count your lucky little stars I'm not on Slack.

@jaremelz but that is because you are football lame. She is to busy with DrunkCat anyway. They go on forever blah...blah...blah

@jaremelz I think he's confused. I don't see what either of us have really done to him... today.

@mfladd ... making things up again. @Teripie has done half of the talking on slack today.

@TaRDy I think I know "what's in the box". Hers has glue! There, get that out of your brain @mfladd

@christinewas I think you have a jealous goat! Poor baby, he's not the center of attention.

@jaremelz He's like the kid that runs around on the playground, pulling the little girl's hair and making stuff up to tease her about.

@christinewas Only because he's safely far, far away. And because no one with play with him.

I didn't realize @mfladd could sing...

@christinewas

@jaremelz @christinewas what the hell are you two going to do when I am not goat anymore? (loaded question)

Just thought I would bait you into the answer.

@mfladd Celebrate all the free time I will have now that I'm not tormenting you? @christinewas you do realize that he's twisted and enjoys the torment. So I am going to start being sickeningly sweet to him. That is the way to really hurt him.

@jaremelz Death by Candy - great!

cat won't let me type!

@jaremelz Unfortunately, the fact that he feeds off of it has not made it any less enjoyable. I think I might be addicted or something. Somebody help me!

@christinewas

@christinewas I know, it's some kind of sickness on my part that I can't stop. I thought I'd buried my wickedness far enough down. Nope, he found it.

@jaremelz Speaking of sickness and the like... I hope you wake up feeling well rested and very not awful!

@christinewas Thanks! Definitely not well rested, but certainly better.

@jaremelz It's sweet. I liked the idea of him being put out to field, but I think I can be happy about it ending well for him.

@christinewas I really struggled with just letting him have a truly happy place. But he deserved it after everything. But it hurts, the niceness of it!

So good, @jaremelz. He could have stayed with the Seahawks, though. Just a little uncomfortable.

@KDemo I know, he really wilt he squirmed forever over that. And I nearly ended it there, before a wave of niceness overtook me.

@jaremelz this is so adorable! Agreed, you definitely have the voice for audio books.

@mfladd Producing the death wouldn't be too hard. I already have some of it. It's just silly. And I really do hope that you've enjoyed this.

Now fuck you!

@jaremelz I can't wait for this every month! WHO WANTS TOO SEE THIS EVERY MONTH!!??! STARS STARS STARS! JA-RE-MELZ! JA-RE-MELZ!

@marklog Fffuuuuuccckkk no. This was much harder to do that it may seem. There would be nothing left of me after a couple months (that might make @mfladd happy). But damn if @sohmageek isn't giving me good material! Now shut your hole up as tight as your dog's.

@jaremelz Absolutely!

@jaremelz Sounds like a solid maybe to me.

@marklog October sounds like a good month for dog lovers.

@mfladd

@jaremelz hey, my absolutely gif was to you asking me if I enjoyed your video! But I will take your whore gif because I like pain. "Please Mistress, may I have another?" ;)~

@jaremelz i have immunity. i feel like i've said this before...

@marklog that sounds like a solid maybe to me.

@mfladd I need a 2nd cup of coffee before dealing with you. And you can still shut your whore mouth.