It will never be able to hurt any unwitting members again! (Only the masochistic meh.com members foolish enough to maintain this financially harmful trick)
We committed to the long form joke quite some time ago: making VMP so good @unixrab would want it but not be able to admit it. Closing it to new members for our entire business is just a part of that commitment
Sorry @snapster, we ran out of time - we’ll get you on the show very soon. … this same thing happened with the crappy puke green woot 3.0 which sucked so bad and was put out of it’s misery… sometimes you nail it…woot2.0 sometimes it’s a nasty green website…
@unixrab@snapster what’s wrong with 4:3 monitors? 1600x1200 forever! Vertical resolution matters! 16:9 HD is a rip off planned by manufacturers who could not make tall enough matrices with no dead pixels! Its incompetent! Its mediocre…
oh…
never mind.
@duodec Somebody determined it to be a good middle ratio in between the traditional 4x3 of television and wider ratios popular in Hollywood. It wouldn’t be perfect for any of them, but the letterboxing and pillarboxing for either direction wouldn’t be too ridiculous.
I’ll be laughing in 30 years when I have a much easier time getting a fuku because of the limited amount of people going for the 4pm VMP only release.
/giphy evil laugh
@unixrab I like the reference, but I cannot grant your reply a star because I disagree with its sentiments. However, I tip my hat to you. Good day, sir.
I feel extra special mediocre today because I am a VMP member that should not exist… I had been VMP, let it expire, and then was going to sign up again just to see how much disappointment it’d lead to. I forgot about it and at 9:16pm Pacific last night I flashed and was sure I’d be too late. But sure enough, meh let me throw my $5 at them and I am a VMP member with a join date as of March 1, 2017!
Just one quick suggestion for the code monkeys that work the site here. Y’all may want to remove the VMP info from the FAQs. I had to consult the Meh bible (FAQs) this morning, and the entry for VMP is still rolling strong.
@CaptAmehrican@f00l What? @snapster isn’t into alternative facts? They are in style now - very popular. Trust me. They are yuge. It would have been a glorious story. The biggest and best legend of a story. We could have written a book about it. Become famous for, against all odds, the slaughter of the flying woot monkeys who were responsible for the horrible Dallas terrorist attack on meh. That attack was terrible, just terrible. And we saved the day; the country; the world; the universe! We could have been heroes. Instead… well it is sad. Just sad.
@dashcloud…which reminds me @snapster - what is this new grand plan you guys have dreamed up that is replacing (or whatever the correct term is going to be) VMP? When is the announcement about that?
@Kidsandliz@dashcloud The new “vmp” will probably be some sort of rewards program that doubles the shipping costs and induces the member to make purchases the consumer wouldn’t normally make all the while fooling the purchaser into thinking they’ve gamed the system somehow - most likely a nifty icon will precede the username, giving the member a sense of elevated mediocre status on the site? (SMP?) (somewhat mediocre person)
@mikibell I’ve been on 5 orders for a whyyyyle now … “figures” refers to the (now deleted) section on VMP still sitting in the meh.com archives while the program was closed to new victims as just another way for the VMP program to inflict emotional pain… “figures”
/giphy long live vmp
Wha? But free shipping. Starting when?
@sidewinder3000
@snapster could correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s not ceasing to exist. No new registrations will be allowed for it, but current benefits will remain.
Hope someone signed up @unixrab as a joke. : )
@Kidsandliz Pinging @snapster, @dave, and/or @shawn to make this happen.
@Kidsandliz @narfcake
stop
We committed to the long form joke quite some time ago: making VMP so good @unixrab would want it but not be able to admit it. Closing it to new members for our entire business is just a part of that commitment
Sorry @snapster, we ran out of time - we’ll get you on the show very soon. … this same thing happened with the crappy puke green woot 3.0 which sucked so bad and was put out of it’s misery… sometimes you nail it…woot2.0 sometimes it’s a nasty green website…
@unixrab along with your 4:3 aspect ratio monitor I hope
@snapster lol
@unixrab @snapster what’s wrong with 4:3 monitors? 1600x1200 forever! Vertical resolution matters! 16:9 HD is a rip off planned by manufacturers who could not make tall enough matrices with no dead pixels! Its incompetent! Its mediocre…
oh…
never mind.
i love @duodec
@duodec Somebody determined it to be a good middle ratio in between the traditional 4x3 of television and wider ratios popular in Hollywood. It wouldn’t be perfect for any of them, but the letterboxing and pillarboxing for either direction wouldn’t be too ridiculous.
I’ll be laughing in 30 years when I have a much easier time getting a fuku because of the limited amount of people going for the 4pm VMP only release.
/giphy evil laugh
@MrMark
Have you actually SEEN what crap they send in FuKu’s ???
@MrMark
We’ll be laughing at the $1800 spent on VMP in the meantime.
@PlacidPenguin Assuming an average inflation rate, that’s only like $1,200 in today’s money.
@MrMark Glass two thirds full kind of guy here!
@unixrab They sent me a neat-o bot vac… that was sort of cool.
LONG LIVE VMP!
@djslack alt.meh.vmp.die.die.die
@unixrab I like the reference, but I cannot grant your reply a star because I disagree with its sentiments. However, I tip my hat to you. Good day, sir.
@djslack you have to put your personal feelings aside when being an objective star-giver! Credit where credit is due, says I.
@unixrab I can create a moral conundrum by agreeing with this, yet refusing to follow through in my specific example. And so I have.
@unixrab Good 'ol usenet …
(Dammit, I’m old!)
@narfcake
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away …
@f00l
/youtube the saga begins
@narfcake usenet ftw
@narfcake alt.french.captain.borg.borg.borg
/youtube mariah carey without you
I am not dead yet, knave! I live on! (for $5/mo)
VMP changed my life. I used to be an ordinary shopper. Not anymore! I am now a very mediocre shopper and people laugh at me because of it.
@ELUNO
I want the graduate from Very Mediocre to Super Mediocre.
@f00l
@PlacidPenguin
I always live up to my uid in the end.
@f00l @narfcake
Ugh wrong picture.
Here’s the correct one:
@ELUNO And now I’ll never have a chance to be a Very Mediocre Person. I’m just plain old Mediocre. What else could go wrong or is it right?
@growyoungagain A lot could go wrong, in which case, you can blame @mikibell the goat.
really just clicked on this because of the songs for drella icon
@slydon Yeah. How in the world did this title and that video get the Songs for Della album cover?
I feel extra special mediocre today because I am a VMP member that should not exist… I had been VMP, let it expire, and then was going to sign up again just to see how much disappointment it’d lead to. I forgot about it and at 9:16pm Pacific last night I flashed and was sure I’d be too late. But sure enough, meh let me throw my $5 at them and I am a VMP member with a join date as of March 1, 2017!
@justin42
@justin42 I fucking spaced it and lost out. I am the very embodiment of meh today for putting it off.
/image I don’t even buy anything here
@Ignorant
Well I hope you’re not buying that guy.
Never seen him for sale on Meh btw.
@f00l judging from the valentines fukos, his son was up for grabs.
@hanzov69
"Up for grabs", huh?
(sorry, couldn’t resist)
@Ignorant "Ignorant is a hardcore meh fiend having placed 53 orders, " It seems you do buy things.
@connorbush no no no, I’ve bought things. I don’t buy much now…Not enough to make VMP worth it. Yet I keep it.
@Ignorant ahhhh, well. As was said in legally blonde… “fashion over function.” Gotta keep that V symbol.
@connorbush though it’s trumped by his K symbol…
good riddance!
@xEBRONx
/youtube good riddance
(Only if you’re poor)
@borisparsley
Not really seeing a connection.
So is the person who is passionate about his VMP status(i.e. me) an example of a mediocre hyperbole?
@ypwulby
always YES
VMP’s on Parade!
You’ll pry my VMP badge from my cold, dead fingers. It doesn’t even matter if I buy anything, I just need the forum themes.
This thread made me think of the they’re dead jim lyrics of this song. I blame @goat
Just one quick suggestion for the code monkeys that work the site here. Y’all may want to remove the VMP info from the FAQs. I had to consult the Meh bible (FAQs) this morning, and the entry for VMP is still rolling strong.
@fait
or edit it. to explain the badge, and to explain what it is for people who have it and forgot why.
Pinging @dave about this …
@f00l sadly in the other thread snapster said they won’t lie and say it was for those who fought victoriously against the flying woot monkeys
@CaptAmehrican @f00l What? @snapster isn’t into alternative facts? They are in style now - very popular. Trust me. They are yuge. It would have been a glorious story. The biggest and best legend of a story. We could have written a book about it. Become famous for, against all odds, the slaughter of the flying woot monkeys who were responsible for the horrible Dallas terrorist attack on meh. That attack was terrible, just terrible. And we saved the day; the country; the world; the universe! We could have been heroes. Instead… well it is sad. Just sad.
@CaptAmehrican I’m outta the loop for meh.inc. info., what is the other thread that that you are referring too.
@fait @narfcake Thanks, cleared that out.
figures
@unixrab ???
@unixrab
Exactly. Glad you caught on.
@unixrab Let me guess- you’ve had to pay shipping twice in the same month?
@dashcloud…which reminds me @snapster - what is this new grand plan you guys have dreamed up that is replacing (or whatever the correct term is going to be) VMP? When is the announcement about that?
@Kidsandliz @dashcloud The new “vmp” will probably be some sort of rewards program that doubles the shipping costs and induces the member to make purchases the consumer wouldn’t normally make all the while fooling the purchaser into thinking they’ve gamed the system somehow - most likely a nifty icon will precede the username, giving the member a sense of elevated mediocre status on the site? (SMP?) (somewhat mediocre person)
@mikibell whut
@unixrab
Ever the optimist.
@unixrab that was what I was wondering… what figures?? did @dashcloud nail it on the head, because you have 5 orders now!!!
@mikibell I’ve been on 5 orders for a whyyyyle now … “figures” refers to the (now deleted) section on VMP still sitting in the meh.com archives while the program was closed to new victims as just another way for the VMP program to inflict emotional pain… “figures”
@f00l …the glass is half-full…but filled with financial poison.
@unixrab Half-full? Poison or not, that’s more financial knowledge than I would’ve assumed they had!
“We’re losing money on each sale!”
“We’ll make it up in volume.”
BTW, @snapster, was “Magic 8 Ball” ever rehired after Amazon found out its compensation package?
@narfcake
@unixrab
