So
Does this scream happen only when severing the trunk? Can I still trim it scream free or will my oak sound like someone pulling out fingernails with pilers every spring?
Read about the seismic recordings of trees when touched, chopped, hit with arrows, etc. It’ll scare the daylights out of you…and make you think the next time you touch a tree.
It would just plain make me sad. This is the reason I gave up meat too. I saw a pet pig with a giant pink ribbon and cried. I am way too soft for the world.
Hats off to the writer of the epic thriller in today’s Meh ad! Seriously, I was hooked from the first paragraph:
“Esther runs terrified through the woods, her youthful nerves not yet hardened by the ordeal which would take place at the fairgrounds a year later. The day had seemed bright when she crossed the hedgerow, but surrounded by trees the darkness seemed to chase her, lapping at her heels more like a persistent tide than a shadow thrown by the fading light of a setting sun.”
I know the ad is meant as satire, but my gracious! This writer could easily turn this intro into a short story or novel. Brava or Bravo, Meh writer! There is nothing “meh” in my reaction to your talent.
Discworld fans? The trees on Discworld got tired of being chopped down just so someone could count their rings, so they started growing numbers on their bark showing their age. The humans cut up the trees to steal the numbers for their house signs.
If trees could scream, it would be important (and useful) to know why they scream. Is it because of pain? Is it to make the haunted forest seem more haunted? Is it just because they’re jerks and want to keep us up at night?
If we’re presuming that it’s because of pain, then we would have to re-think everything we thought we knew about pain…
So
Does this scream happen only when severing the trunk? Can I still trim it scream free or will my oak sound like someone pulling out fingernails with pilers every spring?
@show_the_maw I say NOT!
We would have to do whatever is necessary to shut them up
…
Give them sunlight, make more charcoal, whatever.
Read about the seismic recordings of trees when touched, chopped, hit with arrows, etc. It’ll scare the daylights out of you…and make you think the next time you touch a tree.
It would just plain make me sad. This is the reason I gave up meat too. I saw a pet pig with a giant pink ribbon and cried. I am way too soft for the world.
If anything, they would get cut down more often.
Cows scream when slaughtered. How’s that working out for them?
Hats off to the writer of the epic thriller in today’s Meh ad! Seriously, I was hooked from the first paragraph:
“Esther runs terrified through the woods, her youthful nerves not yet hardened by the ordeal which would take place at the fairgrounds a year later. The day had seemed bright when she crossed the hedgerow, but surrounded by trees the darkness seemed to chase her, lapping at her heels more like a persistent tide than a shadow thrown by the fading light of a setting sun.”
I know the ad is meant as satire, but my gracious! This writer could easily turn this intro into a short story or novel. Brava or Bravo, Meh writer! There is nothing “meh” in my reaction to your talent.
Discworld fans? The trees on Discworld got tired of being chopped down just so someone could count their rings, so they started growing numbers on their bark showing their age. The humans cut up the trees to steal the numbers for their house signs.
@rockblossom
yep… that sounds right! We can certainly be real asshats sometimes.
That should have been today’s SideDeal item…
If trees could scream, it would be important (and useful) to know why they scream. Is it because of pain? Is it to make the haunted forest seem more haunted? Is it just because they’re jerks and want to keep us up at night?
If we’re presuming that it’s because of pain, then we would have to re-think everything we thought we knew about pain…