@macromeh I’m just hoping they take pity on me and how frustrated everyone is from going to what seemed like a Mehrathon a week to cutting us off cold turkey.
@Dakini Maybe my post was too late for today-give the powers that be a full day to think about it. If it doesn’t happen tomorrow, better start making arrangements.
@Felton10
Well since you’ll be dead once your box arrives, can you send it to me? That way, no one in you house has to deal with one more box of your stuff. I’m just trying to look out for your family members.
For awhile there recently they were so frequent they had passed into the annoying category.
I sort of liked it when they were fewer and farther between, made it seem more special - the IRKs were less frequent but more of them each time. And the click-face animations were more complex and funnier. And gas was less than a dollar, and for a nickel you could take the bus to the park, and tv was better in B&W and you dressed up to go to the movies and there were horse-drawn carriages and pistol duels and dragons and invaders from the north …
@Kyeh@stolicat@werehatrack In the dark? I hope our sun is many light years away OH WAIT!!! THIS MEANS THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!! The sun has been turned off! Better stock up on meh bags and reject morning save items - the hell with toilet paper. We need a mehrathon now.
@cbilyak@Kidsandliz@Kyeh@macromeh@stolicat@tinamarie1974 Aye, YOU were lucky! We had our legs and arms cut off each morning, and with bleeding stumps push ourselves through 1,000 foot drifts of snow with our tongues against gale force headwinds at a temperature below absolute zero. And that was just going to school. Coming home was worse…
I’m going to hazard a guess that we will not see another Mehrathon before March. I suspect they’ve dumped the truly worthless crap, and are holding the better stuff for the Crammed Opening of their B&M outlet. Sucks to be us.
No. Is the answer. What you don’t realize is that it takes a certain amount of time for the crap lake of worthless items to refill. And given the fact that who knows how many ships from China are waiting – fully constipated with worthless goods made from the increasingly rare Chineseium – for their turn to take a dump of their bloated innards on these shores, the Mehrathon will just have to wait.
Times are tough my friend. You’ll just have to wait.
If you are desperate, get a canvas or even a plastic grocery bag, and get thee to a Goodwill or your local recycle or second hand store, close your eyes (for the surprise factor) and go wild.
This is the methadone analog for the Mehrathon IRK withdrawal treatment.
It will cost more than $5, will not completely satisfy, but will clutter up your home to about the same extent without the telltale IRK bag residues that telegraph your problem to friends and family.
What you don’t realize is that it takes a certain amount of time for the crap lake of worthless items to refill.
And now that there is a different drain for that lake in the form of the Morningsave brick-and-mortar outlet store, will the lake ever refill, even with things that are utterly and completely worthless?
I strongly suspect that the era of the randomly bounteous IRK is over, and any future Mehrathons will either be IRKless or will have IRKs that are even more regrettable than before. But I don’t expect any hard information about this to be forthcoming, the FAQ being silent on the subjects of the Mehrathon and the IRK already.
@Jackinga@werehatrack@koolhandjoe I am going to ask a question which he may or may not feel like answering. How far in advance are what is put up for sale including mehrathons planned or known? Or is that a deep dark secret?
Ah Grasshopper…there are certain questions and matters of enlightenment that are not meant for acolytes, novices, customers, and others of the great unwashed.
It takes many years of meditation, contemplation, and study of warehouse detritus to understand, how certain damaged, incomplete, one of a kind, or otherwise worthless goods accumulate in dusty corners, under industrial shelving, or in great steaming piles of unsalable crap – neglected, uncategorized, unloved, and homeless.
The Instant Regret Kit movement was at once a stroke of genius and a boon to resolving the clutter, by giving this stuff a purpose, a direction, indeed, may I say it, a calling? It was out of nothing that the IRK created an unseemingly infinite demand for that which otherwise would clutter and despoil even the most depraved of landfills.
Who knew that there are those who have become IRK-dependent for a non-woven bag fix of miscellany?
Perhaps it is the thrill of the captcha, of beating the clock, of winning the competition, or of bragging rights for a limited supply, more than the physical manifestation of an actual delivery.
If so, maybe there will be an IRNTGK, Instant Regret Non Tangible Goods Kit. No physical goods would be sold in this sales race, but rather things that are more ephemeral and without physical presence. Say an IRNTGK for naming rights of a handful of empty space 12.695 parsecs from Earth in a certain direction. Or an IRNTGK for the secret as to why sharks don’t swim backwards or why gerbils can’t vomit. Or being an honorary judge in the Annual Short Takeoff and Landing Little Men’s Marching, Brown Paper Bag, and Chowder Society’s Parallel Parking Drag Race, the first of which is yet to be held, much less organized.
@Jackinga@Koolhandjoe@werehatrack Nothing I have received in my many (over 30 and counting) IRKs have come close to the what I just read that spewed forth from you (only kidding). It was an excellent summation of what few of us would the time or the brain power to details. But on two points I beg to different-usefulness and worth.
I was sent more balls than I could ever use in my lifetime after an offhanded remark which Koolhandjoe noticed and took pity on me. Most of these balls looked new with no dust on them. Can think of nothing worse than dusty balls. And as to the worth of ones IRK, I received arguably the best and most expensive item anyone has ever gotten in an IRK. This item was definitely not lying around the warehouse. So with those two exceptions, everything else you say is true.
@Felton10@Jackinga@Koolhandjoe
Sharks don’t swim backwards becase they lack the kind of pectoral fins that allow fish to accomplish that feat. Sharks literally are one-way critters; their propulsion system points forward only.
They’re probably waiting for a fresh batch of stale Trakers to stuff in each box … Maybe we have to fire up elfster again and start sending on another our crap
So my body must be conditioned to expect a monthly Mehrathon, because last night I stayed up almost all night just noodling around on my damn phone. And I don’t even have anything to show for it.
At some point, the logjam of ships waiting to get into port will clear, and there will be a bunch of stuff that arrived too late.
But that probably isn’t why they haven’t done a mehrathon lately anyway, since they could always do one whenever they want and just sell less stuff if they have less stuff.
Probably more relevant, a lot of what drives the Mehrathons when the merch isn’t stellar is the IRKs, and since they have announced that they’re opening a physical outlet store in Plano under the Morningsave brand, the best of the stuff that would have gone in the IRKs is doubtless being routed there instead. Once the container ship backlog is unloaded, there will be more stuff available in general, but I think we may have seen the last of the IRKs even if a Mehrathon happens.
@OnionSoup The will probably go to Walter. But I am hoping for a last minute reprieve tonight because KHJ cared enough about my balls to send me a lifetime supply that maybe he cares about my whole body also.
Of course we may have had so many so close together to get rid of a ton or crap so they could spend less time doing inventory… And remember there used to be only around 3-4ish a year in the past with far, far more sold each time. So while they have offered irks more often, I’d bet (too lazy to go look) they really haven’t sold that many more actual irks/fukus/fukos in any given year.
@Kyeh But the good news is that since no human can see me, I don’t have to change clothes or even wear any, don’t have to eat-the only “person” who can see me is Walter.
I wonder why you would squander one of your last days trying to order shit that you would never see…
@chienfou Now that is a VERY good point.
@chienfou Well someone has got to go to extremes to get this stalled train moving again and I am volunteering to take one for the team.
Besides I think that is where all the undelivered Meh stuff resides-in the great beyond.
@chienfou I wonder why one would squander any days trying to order shit that they would never use…
@macromeh
that’s a core demographic here or so it seems
@chienfou @Felton10 quit trying to get out of tax season this year
Human sacrifice has never worked.
Not even to the gods of capitalism.
I think it may have worked for many of the gods of capitalism.
One down-three to go.
@Felton10 Don’t hold your breath (unless you are trying to hurry the experiment along).
@macromeh I’m just hoping they take pity on me and how frustrated everyone is from going to what seemed like a Mehrathon a week to cutting us off cold turkey.
It didn’t work
@Dakini Maybe my post was too late for today-give the powers that be a full day to think about it. If it doesn’t happen tomorrow, better start making arrangements.
Now you have two things to check on-the next mehrathon and my demise.
@Felton10
Well since you’ll be dead once your box arrives, can you send it to me? That way, no one in you house has to deal with one more box of your stuff. I’m just trying to look out for your family members.
At this point I’m thinking we may not see one until Valentine’s Day.
@remo28 There’s always Ground Hog Day.
@gt0163c @remo28 There’s always Ground Hog Day.
@gt0163c @njfan @remo28
There’s always Ground Hog Day.
@gt0163c @njfan @remo28 @werehatrack
did you mean groundhog, or like this?
I’ve always wanted something like this on my tombstone-here he lies brokenhearted-he tried to shit but only farted.
I’m just hoping it’s not on a Wednesday. (I work Wednesdays.)
I would love to see one on a weekend… sunday actually… HINT (=
/giphy NOPE
Are they waiting for the Lunar New Year for the next Meh-rathon?
For awhile there recently they were so frequent they had passed into the annoying category.
I sort of liked it when they were fewer and farther between, made it seem more special - the IRKs were less frequent but more of them each time. And the click-face animations were more complex and funnier. And gas was less than a dollar, and for a nickel you could take the bus to the park, and tv was better in B&W and you dressed up to go to the movies and there were horse-drawn carriages and pistol duels and dragons and invaders from the north …
@stolicat Brilliant!
@Kyeh @stolicat And you walked uphill both ways to school in waist deep snow.
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat
And we had NINE planets. And they all orbited uphill, both ways, in the dark.
@Kyeh @stolicat @werehatrack In the dark? I hope our sun is many light years away OH WAIT!!! THIS MEANS THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!! The sun has been turned off! Better stock up on meh bags and reject morning save items - the hell with toilet paper. We need a mehrathon now.
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat
@Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 That would be “how to become an angel” school? Right? (smirk).
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 I cannot tell from the photo - are they barefoot? My parents were
@cbilyak @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 So was I. AND it was uphill. Both ways.
@stolicat
@cbilyak @Jackinga @Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 And the entire path was paved with sharp thorns and razor like pointy pebbles. Right?
@cbilyak @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 You bet, not to mention the near invisible snow snakes.
@cbilyak @Jackinga @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974
OK, time to trot this out:
Monty Python - Four Yorkshire Men
@cbilyak @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @macromeh @stolicat @tinamarie1974 Aye, YOU were lucky! We had our legs and arms cut off each morning, and with bleeding stumps push ourselves through 1,000 foot drifts of snow with our tongues against gale force headwinds at a temperature below absolute zero. And that was just going to school. Coming home was worse…
I love it. One of my all time favorite skits.
I’m going to hazard a guess that we will not see another Mehrathon before March. I suspect they’ve dumped the truly worthless crap, and are holding the better stuff for the Crammed Opening of their B&M outlet. Sucks to be us.
@werehatrack Hey our actual real name here is dumpster. Right?
@Kidsandliz @werehatrack Or maybe Skip.
Didn’t work again.
@Dakini
I regret to say that I am certain it won’t work tomorrow, either.
@Dakini @werehatrack I’m rushing to get everything packed.
Yes, Sunday night.
No. Is the answer. What you don’t realize is that it takes a certain amount of time for the crap lake of worthless items to refill. And given the fact that who knows how many ships from China are waiting – fully constipated with worthless goods made from the increasingly rare Chineseium – for their turn to take a dump of their bloated innards on these shores, the Mehrathon will just have to wait.
Times are tough my friend. You’ll just have to wait.
If you are desperate, get a canvas or even a plastic grocery bag, and get thee to a Goodwill or your local recycle or second hand store, close your eyes (for the surprise factor) and go wild.
This is the methadone analog for the Mehrathon IRK withdrawal treatment.
It will cost more than $5, will not completely satisfy, but will clutter up your home to about the same extent without the telltale IRK bag residues that telegraph your problem to friends and family.
@Jackinga
And now that there is a different drain for that lake in the form of the Morningsave brick-and-mortar outlet store, will the lake ever refill, even with things that are utterly and completely worthless?
I strongly suspect that the era of the randomly bounteous IRK is over, and any future Mehrathons will either be IRKless or will have IRKs that are even more regrettable than before. But I don’t expect any hard information about this to be forthcoming, the FAQ being silent on the subjects of the Mehrathon and the IRK already.
@Jackinga @werehatrack @koolhandjoe I am going to ask a question which he may or may not feel like answering. How far in advance are what is put up for sale including mehrathons planned or known? Or is that a deep dark secret?
@Felton10 @Koolhandjoe @werehatrack
Ah Grasshopper…there are certain questions and matters of enlightenment that are not meant for acolytes, novices, customers, and others of the great unwashed.
It takes many years of meditation, contemplation, and study of warehouse detritus to understand, how certain damaged, incomplete, one of a kind, or otherwise worthless goods accumulate in dusty corners, under industrial shelving, or in great steaming piles of unsalable crap – neglected, uncategorized, unloved, and homeless.
The Instant Regret Kit movement was at once a stroke of genius and a boon to resolving the clutter, by giving this stuff a purpose, a direction, indeed, may I say it, a calling? It was out of nothing that the IRK created an unseemingly infinite demand for that which otherwise would clutter and despoil even the most depraved of landfills.
Who knew that there are those who have become IRK-dependent for a non-woven bag fix of miscellany?
Perhaps it is the thrill of the captcha, of beating the clock, of winning the competition, or of bragging rights for a limited supply, more than the physical manifestation of an actual delivery.
If so, maybe there will be an IRNTGK, Instant Regret Non Tangible Goods Kit. No physical goods would be sold in this sales race, but rather things that are more ephemeral and without physical presence. Say an IRNTGK for naming rights of a handful of empty space 12.695 parsecs from Earth in a certain direction. Or an IRNTGK for the secret as to why sharks don’t swim backwards or why gerbils can’t vomit. Or being an honorary judge in the Annual Short Takeoff and Landing Little Men’s Marching, Brown Paper Bag, and Chowder Society’s Parallel Parking Drag Race, the first of which is yet to be held, much less organized.
Greetings, new robot friend. In time you will come to accept your robotic ways.
@Jackinga @Koolhandjoe @werehatrack Nothing I have received in my many (over 30 and counting) IRKs have come close to the what I just read that spewed forth from you (only kidding). It was an excellent summation of what few of us would the time or the brain power to details. But on two points I beg to different-usefulness and worth.
I was sent more balls than I could ever use in my lifetime after an offhanded remark which Koolhandjoe noticed and took pity on me. Most of these balls looked new with no dust on them. Can think of nothing worse than dusty balls. And as to the worth of ones IRK, I received arguably the best and most expensive item anyone has ever gotten in an IRK. This item was definitely not lying around the warehouse. So with those two exceptions, everything else you say is true.
@Felton10 @Jackinga @Koolhandjoe
Sharks don’t swim backwards becase they lack the kind of pectoral fins that allow fish to accomplish that feat. Sharks literally are one-way critters; their propulsion system points forward only.
They’re probably waiting for a fresh batch of stale Trakers to stuff in each box … Maybe we have to fire up elfster again and start sending on another our crap
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG
@Felton10 R.I.P.
@macromeh I have asked Walter to take my place and after what happened yesterday he may have no choice.
The IRK is dead.
@werehatrack I think along with me it should have a proper funeral. Maybe all Meh heads flushing toilets at the same time.
So my body must be conditioned to expect a monthly Mehrathon, because last night I stayed up almost all night just noodling around on my damn phone. And I don’t even have anything to show for it.
@Kyeh
@chienfou
Yeah - bless my heart, right?
At some point, the logjam of ships waiting to get into port will clear, and there will be a bunch of stuff that arrived too late.
But that probably isn’t why they haven’t done a mehrathon lately anyway, since they could always do one whenever they want and just sell less stuff if they have less stuff.
Probably more relevant, a lot of what drives the Mehrathons when the merch isn’t stellar is the IRKs, and since they have announced that they’re opening a physical outlet store in Plano under the Morningsave brand, the best of the stuff that would have gone in the IRKs is doubtless being routed there instead. Once the container ship backlog is unloaded, there will be more stuff available in general, but I think we may have seen the last of the IRKs even if a Mehrathon happens.
RIP ME
@Felton10 to FLAC or MPG?
@Felton10 @werehatrack
Should we mention that HERE?
@chienfou @Felton10
Not until we have confirmation from Walterbird at the very least. He might just be changing into a newt.
@Felton10 @werehatrack
@Felton10 I don’t mean to sound insensitive about your recent demise, but have you left your IRK bags to anyone in your will?
@OnionSoup The will probably go to Walter. But I am hoping for a last minute reprieve tonight because KHJ cared enough about my balls to send me a lifetime supply that maybe he cares about my whole body also.
Of course we may have had so many so close together to get rid of a ton or crap so they could spend less time doing inventory… And remember there used to be only around 3-4ish a year in the past with far, far more sold each time. So while they have offered irks more often, I’d bet (too lazy to go look) they really haven’t sold that many more actual irks/fukus/fukos in any given year.
@Kidsandliz
We can but hope this is the case.
Still didn’t work.
@Felton10
That’s pretty funny on a couple of levels…
I especially like the irony of the ‘no free use allowed’ warning!
@chienfou I assumed it wouldn’t be a big deal as I wasn’t using it for profit besides I am dead now.
Watch the entire month of February be one giant Mehrathon…
@OnionSoup
Mmmmm…Nope.
Good thing you didn’t say which four days!
When’s the funeral?
@Kyeh Sorry you missed it, but Walter was one of my pallbearers.
@Felton10 My condolences
to him and Mrs. Felton.
Are you a ghost ?
@Kyeh No-like the movie “Ghost” I am in between worlds waiting for one final mehrathon (and hopefully one final IRK) before I move on.
@Felton10 So, in limbo, basically.
@Kyeh But the good news is that since no human can see me, I don’t have to change clothes or even wear any, don’t have to eat-the only “person” who can see me is Walter.
Is there any hope that they will show us love by giving EVERYONE an IRK for Valentine’s day?
/giphy Oprah-bees
@OnionSoup They have to be planning something really weird.