I have the best wife.
24Woke up, still drunk.
Came downstairs, poured a pint of Guinness stout (bought 8 cans for st pattys), poured her a shot of jameson (we came into money recently, bought for same reason). She wanted ham and eggs. We bought a giant carver ham weeks ago on a crazy sale. I start sawing through the frozen ham with a knife, but after ~5 minutes I get tired of it. I wrapped the ham in a plastic bag, hung it off the edge of the counter, and smacked it with a hammer. Took two swings (and two chunks of ham) to get what we wanted, but she was not only ok with this method, she loved it. Called it the HAM-mer method. Says we should buy more bargin basement ham, freeze it, and ration it out with this method. She also wanted me to say something about Veronica Lake, but I didn’t really understand that, so she’ll type it up in a minute.
I just wanted to brag, and I have no social media besides work network, school network and linkedin, and none of those seemed like a good place to share this story.
Wife’s Edit: I love the idea of ham and eggs because of Sullivan’s Travels. Veronica Lake is probably my favorite actress. The first time I saw her was in Sullivan’s Travels and her first line was “Give him some ham and eggs.” On snowy days, when the world turns to shades of gray, I like thinking about the old movies and the old actors. So, on days like this one, I want some ham and eggs.
Pan’s edit: Oh! I get it now! Makes sense.
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Ha… she sounds like a keeper !!
Sounds like fun… keep each other warm today… maybe some binge watching is in order!
@chienfou We’re wsatching fsactotum right now
@Pantheist nice…
Woke up drunk on a Tuesday? Good for you! And wife is awesome.
And she’s the one who knows the secret of special-extra perfect wonderful cookies and lit.
/image Pearl
/image false dwight
I have the best wife.
@medz
; however, I am partial to my wife and believe she could be the best.
@medz
the world is full of best wives (or I wouldn’t have one too)
Pro tip. When buying the big-ass size of anything, partition it into one pound portions and freeze individually so you don’t have to go full Ninja Ginsu to break off an individual portion. I’m sure meh would be happy to sell you the right tools for this (food vac and knives . . . oh so many knives).
Also . . . as eventful as your morning was, it makes me wonder what the night leading up to it was like.
@huja Haha, good idea. I do always break up the big packs of chicken into 2 pieces each in plastic bags before freezing, but haven’t done it for the things that start as one piece.
And about the best wife thing, mine once said to me (and she was dead serious), Are you ready for your fantasy football draft?!
@huja
/giphy woah heavy
Before my wife and I were married, my friends threw me a bachelor party. My fiance and her friends went out dancing while we partied at her house. Later they came back, intending to crash the party, but almost everyone (and the strippers) had already left. Someone had stuffed a stripper’s thong in my back pocket and the maid of honor grabbed it and waved it around saying “What’s this?” My bride-to-be laughed and calmly said “Oh, just some girl’s panties.” We were married a week later - 26 years of wedded bliss (and counting). Never a fight.
TIL I must only have the second best wife.
@MrMark No she is the best wife for you.
Sorry, but everyone here is wrong.
I’ve had the absolutely best wife for over 30 yrs.
Fun to be with, cooks everything from scratch, grew up on an actual farm, turned my (our) finances around to an incredible level, smart, likes good beer, likes dogs, earns more than I ever did and is a great driver (handy on long road trips).
I try to overlook that she likes cats & remodeling shows.
I am in the wrong thread.
@mfladd
@f00l no… it’s all right (just ask George)
@pantheist It’s nice to see two people sharing an account like that. She’s definitely awesome!
Top this: I’m a motorcycle nut, I think it’s genetic. Things were tight financially, so tight I was checking what I might be able to get for the various (just three) bikes. She came across my notes on motorcycle prices, and said to me: “We’ll find another way, you’re NOT selling them!”
No, I have the best wife!
Just don’t tell her husband.