I am trying to gussy up my look
8I have a dilemma friends.
I have always dressed like a slob at work and I have decided that I need to look a bit more like a professional. My typical look is a pair of clean jeans and a sweatshirt. I have been fighting this for years, but I think it is time.
So I ask you ladies and gentlemen, which do I need to purchase to make myself more professional. I have been reading that shoes are probably the most important thing. Any suggestions for this nearly 40-year-old man-child?
- 29 comments, 37 replies
- Comment
Clean jeans and a sweatshirt is a slob?
To me, a slob is someone that wears dirty clothes, stains, unintentional holes, etc.
Nice shoes, button down type shirt is usually the minimum of what I consider “dressing up.”
Make the shirt or sweater non slob. It should look good and fit well
The jeans should fit and look non slobbish
Same w shoes. They can be crocs or high end loafers or whatever but make them look nice and sharp. Fit fit fit. Not worn looking for uncared for.
Get the jeans and shoes right. Then concentrate on the shirt or sweater as being fresh and presentable every day.
Make sure everything fits well and is in good repair and looks good.
Keep a casual jacket around for when needed. Same requirements.
Fit and crispness are key. Make sure everything lookd fresh and sharp.
Carry yourself accordingly. Adjust posture to needed degree.
Also pay attention to hair and grooming etc. Nothing fancy unless you wanna. Just fresh and sharp.
@f00l i agree fit is a major factor, and often hard. Too big looks wrinkly and slobish, too tight is wrinkly and that you “aren’t trying” (to lose the weight you put on since you bought it or even that you didnt bother that morning-just grabbed something). I did the too big thing til i was in my 30s and the too tight in my 30-40s after packing on an extra 20 and noone ever commented “you look nice”. But in the last 5 years i have been wearing the right size clothes and get complimented a lot, even when it is a $10 dress i bought 6 years ago (cheap and not in style maybe).
To me signs of too loose is like sholders 2 inches down your arm or too tight is the buttons you have to use a collar extender or move/resew the pants button. +/- 5 pounds is not a problem.
@f00l I agree also. I lost 20 pounds and nobody noticed until I went shopping and bought clothes that fit. Fit is imperative. If you don’t like to iron clothes (who does), make sure you take clothes out of the dryer while it is running so wrinkles don’t set in. Buy one of the steamers from Meh the next time they come up.
@mehnyblooms Those steamers easier than ironing? And are the more, less, or about the same with respect to effectiveness (compared to ironing)?
@Kidsandliz IMHO they’re like 80/20… 80% as good for 20% of the time and effort. Considering I generally don’t iron but do occasionally use the steamer, I guess something you will do is better than something you won’t.
They do not make things crisp, but they do take the wrinkles out and make clothes smooth.
@djslack If they ever offer one at a time I have some money it might be worth buying one then. I use the out of the dryer and shake it before folding and hanging and that works well on some stuff and not so much so on other stuff. Perhaps steaming stuff right whenI take out of the dryer would mean less things need ironed (not that I care if t-shirts, etc are wrinkled).
Jeans and a button-down shirt. Untucked. Edit: Button-up shirts are fine too.
The whole thing about shoes is BS. “Shoes speak the the character of the person” blah blah… If I see someone with mirror polished shoes, I just assume they don’t actually do any work and they put emphasis on trivial things.
Dark jeans. Switch sweatshirt for sweater
It’s summertime.
/image sexy millionaire style
Buy Hanes uniform pique polos from the mothership, they’re ch. . . value price and last forever or until you burn them in the dryer. Gildan dryblend is good too.
@ConAndLibrarian, I concur with @cranky1950. A polo shirt is a good starting point. I opt for striped polos for a wee splash up without going over the top. It’s a good way to slowly elevate your game without grabbing a bunch of unwanted attention.
2 or 3 weeks ago I grabbed some at JC Penny (online) for $6 to $7 each, originally $30. (St. John’s Bay Pique knit, striped 100% cotton).
A proper fitting pair of jeans, a polo shirt, or a white under shirt and butting up shirt over it. Black belt, black shoes. Everything proper fitting.
If you don’t know/lazy (like me), go to somewhere like Jos. A. Bank. You’ll drop a cool $150 minimum there, but you’ll get some proper fitting shirts. Learn your size, then go to Ross to buy dress shirts for $10-$25 each or Kohls if you use coupons!
Black leather dress shoes, not too pointy, not too square. They will hurt initially, but the leather will stretch and form around your feet. You can pick up a pair for around $30 that will last you a year.
Some black Gold Toe Calf socks.
@Bogie If only Kohl’s carried dress shirts in my size (20 to 22" neck and 36-37" sleeve AND slim cut) I wouldn’t have to shop at places like Jos. A. Bank and Men’s Wearhouse (with custom tailoring) to get shirts that actually fit me.
Apparently, a 20-22" neck means a 52+" waist. I’m not skinny, but my waist is only 40" and I hate wearing tents.
@Bogie I have been buying a lot of Jos A. Bank recently. It seems that the in store prices are ridiculous, but online is pretty good.
@ConAndLibrarian I agree. We go down to Colorado once a year and they had a factory outlet store (In Castle Rock). Good deals there as well. Though they closed last year
Wear whatever the fuck you want as long as it doesn’t get you fired. Be comfortable. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, experiment until you get it right. But be yourself. Life is way too short.
@Pavlov That is the way I have always lived, but in the last few years my job has changed to the point where I am looked at as a representative of my workplace at bigger meetings and I think I need to step up my look.
@ConAndLibrarian I dig your rap man, but the educated apes you work with have allowed you to rise to being
all whilst you have been wearing predominately
Do what makes you happy.
Dark wash fitted Levis (I suggest 511 or 513). This alone will help,while still being able to wear jeans. Button down shirts with white or dark undershirts (there is a difference between casual and the kind you need a tie with), tailored fit is better than traditional, even if you are a bigger guy. As far as shoes go, I recommend a chukka boot or casual oxford, though you can also do well with a simple low top sneaker (think Vans, classic Adidas, single color). Hope this helps. My husband also upped his style game over the past few years, and he always gets compliments.
@darlenee1 This is essentially the way I dress now. I only own dark jeans and have a Vans collection that would rival and Vans store. I actually tried counting them once and realized what I problem I had after pair 40.
@ConAndLibrarian Then you already look good . If you are going for more formal, stay away from cargo pants! My husband loves the Perry Ellis portfolio slim fit dress pant, and other Perry Ellis. They fit well, and are not too “old”. As far as dress shirts, go bold! jewel tones look good on every man, and make more of a statement than light blue or white. This and a contrasting tie will take you to the next level.
Look around you at work to see how people dress who you don’t consider looking like slobs. Within that bunch find a look you like. Copy that or something similar.
@Kidsandliz At work the people that matter wear suits. The ones that dress in clothes I would consider wearing are the people that tend to be complacent in their position. I need to just bite the bullet and suit up.
/giphy suit up
Just an fyi… Kohls is having a 30% off Sale right now and they always have sales racks at like 70% off. You may want to ease your way into your metamorphosis. Some co-workers can be brutal and make this (shall I even hint at the word adult?LOL!) change difficult. Understand, of course, their opinions shouldn’t matter. Start with what makes you feel comfortable. Why do you wear sweatshirts? Are you in IT and work in the server room? If something like that is the case, get yourself a few really nice hoodies. If they can wear them on the Red carpet, you can certainly wear one too, un-zipped or zipped up a few inches from the bottom, with a nice shirt. No graphic tees, save them for the weekend. Shoes are important but not an ‘in your face’ change. Some new jeans that are a dark shade (not black) as well as stylish. You’re going on 40, not 80! If you go with a button down (up) untucked shirt, make sure the hem is straight. A Polo shirt is a good choice too. Check out some websites to find a style you like. Go somewhere you can people watch and get some ideas that way. Don’t just go to a store and say I need a new look, help. Most likely you’ll regret your purchases. If possible, take a good friend with you. Someone who will be honest. Otherwise you’ll end up with a closet of new clothes you won’t wear. Most importantly, don’t lose yourself in the process. Good luck and try to have fun with it. Another thought, get yourself a really cool watch. That’s something that’ll get noticed even before new shoes!
@bloondie2 I work at a college and for the most part wear our spirit wear daily. While it is comfortable, I am not feeling it is very appropriate when I have my meetings with the very high ups in the organization. At this point I meet with them 2-3 times a week.
@ConAndLibrarian Then you really should dress the part accordingly. It will show them that you are a professional and reliable employee. If there is a promotion to be had, the higher ups will most definitely consider you a candidate. Seems a bit antiquated, but that’s the way it is. You may find that in your weekly meetings, others will listen to your ideas or input and trust your judgements, abilities and problem solving with more enthusiasm. I’ve worked in a large corporate environment, I’ve worked in higher education (Yale) and my last job was a small company where the owners had private offices, as well as desks out on the floor with the rest of us. No cubicles. That was weird at first but then it just seemed to make sense. My point is that in each of these very different sectors, the way you dress and carry yourself was always a huge factor in your growth with said company. If you don’t want to go all in at once in a suit, (they’ll think your great, great Auntie Thelma left you a large inheritance!) then get a few nicely fitting suit jackets, (get them tailored if you have to) button down collar shirts with just the first button undone, tucked in, nice belt, the jeans I mentioned earlier and definitely the awesome watch. You may find that your colleagues prefer your new look. Unless you/they deal with the public on a daily basis. Then as you see fit, start wearing khakis with the jackets and incorporate a tie here & there and you’ll be stylin’ all the way to the corner office with the kick ass view!
@ConAndLibrarian you must be rich to afford all that officially licensed collegiant apparel.
@medz
There are ways to get it cheap. Esp if you are local to the college.
The dollar stores will prob carry it
Plus employee discounts. Garage sales. Outlets. Giveaways. Etc.
/image male work romper
@medz I was all for it until I saw his feet. I could never go without wearing socks.
@medz my dad used to wear those… They were called coveralls.
@RiotDemon I bet they were light blue.
@medz mostly navy or dark grey. In Norway he had an insulated neon orange one for when it was cold.
@medz Only if he also has a hehive.
@parodymandotcom This is a suit I would proudly wear.
@ConAndLibrarian
This suit ought to come with a Fred Astaire or Sammy Davis, Jr dance routine.
/giphy Fred astaire
Crocs = “I’m unemployed and shopping at Walmart with my support check.”
Nice khaki slacks and a button-down one-pocket short-sleeve (for summer) shirt or knit polo. You don’t necessarily need dress shoes, but ditch the sneakers and go for docksiders or better yet, mid-top semi-formal, comfortable work shoes (example). You can keep a relaxed professional appearance without being uncomfortable.
@PocketBrain The issue I left out in my post is that most, if not all of the people in my position wear suits. I need to make a dramatic change.
@ConAndLibrarian
Do you just want to fit in with mgmt? Or appear sharp beyond that?
Or just wear the uniform?
Or refuse to wear the uniform?
Many people dress as slobs in suits for daily wear.
Other put on the site uniform and then it disappears. No one notes the appearance.
People who care for their appearance, or whose appearance matters, go fire some degree in sharpness and “snap”.
Things look “chosen” to a degree.
Fit fit for fit fit.
Tailoring so it wears well.
Cared for clothing.
Clothing chosen that does not tend to look sloppy in the first place.
Deliberate slob
I just don’t bother.
I just don’t care
I’m a free spirit.
I’m the ironic type
I like to look like I care.
I’m no nonsense.
I’m open to alternative thinking
I’m an MBA and dont you forget it.
I’m the boss.
I’m the boss but I’m likeable.
I’m a disciplinarian.
I wish I were a general.
I’m a dictator.
I understand that brilliant and talented people work for me.
I’m a decent human.
Etc etc etc. It’s endless.
This can all be done at a fairly low energy level.
Any of these can be worthy approaches. Depends on your pref and the situation.
/giphy "Suit yourself"
Ha ha ha
Btw your current look might have more value and social/work utility than you are aware of.
If you start wearing suits, the other suits might treat you as one of them. And others will see you differently.
This can be for better and/or for worse.
You current habits may buy you some work independence.
Changing to wearing suits may send a signal that you are willing to give that up.
@ConAndLibrarian
I would cool it on the dramatic change.
If you do that you will get it wrong in the beginning. And then have to revise until you find a comfort and effectiveness zone.
And it will signal you are publicly changing your stance and attitudes. Some people may be weirded out by that. Some will be alienated. Others may think you have been co opted. Other may think that you might be gamable or manipulable. Or that your image or reputation might be.
Or that you are making a power play. Or political moves. Or are “one of them”. Or are insecure in your position.
People can read or misread into anything.
Obviously most people will have no great reaction. But offices and workspaces … Always have lurking weirdness in there corners.
I would move gradually and take your time. Try things out. When people bring it up, briefly explain.
Start with the low key attention to fit and freshness immediately.
Potential professional looking hairstyle to consider?
Whaddaya think?
(Stolen from purchase thread)
https://meh.com/forum/topics/primula-cold-brew-coffee-maker-bundle#596ee824da31e70be0eb5288
@f00l It’s perfect! I will be the coolest guy at work!
@f00l I’m clearly old beyond my years, 'cause I just don’t get the man bun.
I’d like to get the resident cranky oldster’s opine on the man bun. @cranky1950? Would you kindly weigh in on this?
@ruouttaurmind no you don’t. To be honest I’m a lazy slob and the bun thing looks like it takes effort and seems like a stupid woman thing. Unless of course you actually are a ninja and not posen and stylin.
@cranky1950
Ha! Ninja! That’s wealthy!
@cranky1950 stupid woman thing? Oh…i would like to be a fly on the wall in your house if you said that out loud!
@mikibell It’s boring really, I get the silent treatment, and if it’s really bad maybe a foot stomp. I feel sorry really at times, if I don’t realize that I’ve stepped in it, I’ll go a couple of days before I notice and have to act all contrite and shit.
@cranky1950 act all contrite and shit? How about trying to BE contrite
You make me laugh…
I would suggest a few colors of Ben Davis or similar pants. The are tough as jeans but look nice wash after wash. That being said the way you wash and especially dry your clothes is pretty important to " look nice" for longer.
Consider the notion that many other countries don’t use dryers because that is the most stressful part of laundering for clothing.
I am not suggesting dry cleaning or anything, but some clothes keep their crisp look when you hang them to dry. I use plastic hangers and space stuff out on the shower pole. Flipping pants inside out to wash and also flipping them over after a while on the hanger to dry is advisable.
Sorry if this is self explanatory, just my two cents. No womanslpaining intended
Take the middle road and buy a few European cut dress shirts. Wear them without a tie and with sleeves rolled, and keep a tie and jacket somewhere around. Your options include going to London and shopping at Marks and Spencers, or Germany, or Rome. Or you can ask Amazon for European dress shirts, buy a couple from different manufacturers. The fabrics and details are distinctly different, the collars do not button down, the fit is slimmer, and they wash just like ordinary dress shirts.
/image deep v
Depends on what you do
Men’s Wearhouse now has custom suits for roughly $400. If you have time, you may be able to find a store that will roll these into a Bogo deal. Allow for custom patterns and lining, as well as a nice custom fit. Plus an optional ticket pocket!
One of those will provide dress slacks to pair with a button down, and a coat to dress up jeans. I prefer a nice pair of brown shoes for dressy but not as formal look.
Also applicable, artofmanliness.com has a good section on how to dress in your 20s, 30s, etc.
TL;DR chinos and a button down shirt - https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/home/ has super comfy/hipster stuff
/giphy 50 year old hipster
Hey, along with dress code you can also try with some accessories like simple earrings, sunglasses and many more things, which can give your look more professional.
So, just bought a couple of suits at Joseph A. Bank, now off to spend about $150 in tailoring, my arms and legs are too short for everything.
Oh, and I just put in a bit over at eBay on some Tiffany & Co. cuff-links. If I can’t impress them with the clothes, I’ll dazzle them with the cuff-links.
Can’t go wrong with a Hawaiian shirt…
Makes people smile…
Wait, wait- I just found the perfect solution to your wardrobe challenge:
Buy an Amazon Echo Look. She’ll take care of you.
So ConAnd did you finally go all Cam Newton and shit?
@cranky1950 Well, today this am wearing a long sleeve gingham button down from Macy’s, chinos from Joseph A. Bank and Sperry’s. I have worn a tie thrice in the last two weeks, mainly because I have had big meetings. I will say that people at work have noticed, mainly because they have said I look like I am uncomfortable being all professional looking.
BTW, I want that suit.
@ConAndLibrarian oh, and I did suit up on Saturday for a big work event. I wore a navy suit with a pink shirt and pink paisley tie. I was told that it was a “bold” look.