How's your family?

@Thumperchick She's been moved from rehab to long term care.

@Barney

@Barney

@Barney I'm sorry she's had to move to long term care. You guys remain in my thoughts.

@Thumperchick She was just days away from going home when she had her stroke. Our world has turned upside down.

@Barney The making sure she is getting good care, calling the Doctors, talking to the nurses, the visiting, and feeling guilty when you can't visit, or dread visiting because all of it hurts so much. We love our Moms and want to do the best for them. It's the most painful thing I have ever had to do. I wish you much strength and your Mother peace .

@mick You've expressed exactly how I feel in words I have not been able to find. Thank you.

@Thumperchick thanks for asking --well some days are better than others.. (No joke on this post). Night before last, I was up at skilled rehab nursing facility and mom wanted pulled up further in bed ....an employee asked me to help her move mom. She has a fixator ( looks like a halo)on broken ankle and not suppose to put any weight on it- long story short I pulled a muscle in lower back helping pull her up in the bed and I'm suffering with it now:(. We have our granddaughters birthday party this weekend (yeah in old , and I don't know if I'll be able to sit in car that long to drive there). At least though, I am not having to stay up all night then work all day now too!

@AttyVette I'm sorry you hurt your back! But I'm glad your mom is still at rehab level care - it's a good sign and I hope she recovers quickly.

@Thumperchick @mikibell just wanted to say I know you can't do anything about this but I am really down--yesterday I was informed that I was being laid off from work-- Im not kidding--I appreciated y'all writing on previous threads if mine and I hope you all will have a good thanksgiving and Christmas- me, it doesn't look like it..

@AttyVette

@AttyVette oh Atty, I'm so sorry. I hope you find a new job soon.

@AttyVette So sorry to hear that! I hope you find a new position quickly. Hope you'll still stick around- it wouldn't be the same without your puns.

@AttyVette Very sorry to hear that. You'll be in my thoughts for a quick re-employment.

@Thumperchick -- my update- mom got an infection in her foot (where fixator on her broken ankle )and transferred to hospital then back to skilled nursing facility- she is in isolation now with mersa staph infection, found out I have skin cancer and will have to have additional tissue removed from my arm, discovered our travel trailer evidently had leak in it and part of floor needs replacing at the very least, spouse told our truck needs its engine replaced to fix the problem it has , my dd car was in the repair shop after it totally shutdown while driving it...(also someone hit my dd car while at hospital visiting my mom and didn't leave their insurance information), and that is just what has happened this month -- I know things could be worse but anyways, just updating my life as it is right now- hope your December was better than mine ..

@AttyVette I'm so sorry to hear that your mom, and everything else, got worse. I hope you beat the cancer - quickly! It's awful that your mom got a terrible infection. I don't even know what to say - it all sucks. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope that things look up soon.

@Starblind Well, sometimes it takes a long while for a graft to take.

@Starblind The real good news is that it's genetic.

@msklzannie I don't know about the diabetes, but that blood pressure sucks! Lots of rest.. tell her to be selfish. Things will wait.
Wow, God blessed her with double potty training :)

@msklzannie praying for your sister and baby on the way.( of course also praying for her little one already now a family member)

@msklzannie Ouch! I hope she makes it through the next few months as smoothly as possible. I also hope she finds time for a nap at some point in the next 3 years.

Correction: I knew hernia didn't sound quite right... should be hemorrhoids.

Also, thanks for all your well-wishes and prayers. I know she appreciates all the prayer support she can get. My niece is pretty fussy and will sometimes only calm down for mommy and daddy. Hopefully my yet-to-be-born nephew will be more laid-back.

UPDATE: My sister's blood pressure was super high so she had to be admitted to the hospital tonight for observation. If they can't get her BP lowered enough they may have to do an emergency c-section. Her due date isn't until February 9th. Please pray for her, her unborn son, her husband, and their 4 1/2 month-old adopted dauhter.

@msklzannie Hoping they can get it lowered and baby can stay put longer.

Another Update: My brother-in-law just called; my sister's platelets have dropped low enough that the doctors have decided to do the emergency c-section. They're prepping her for surgery now.

@ceagee: Thank you for your support.

Born 7:18am, 3lbs 1oz, 15in long. Both mama and baby are doing well.

Congrats Aunt @msklzannie!!

@msklzannie Congrats on your new nephew ! I hope he continues to do well and grow strong. May your sis-in-law have a speedy recovery and no aftereffects ( well not including long term effect of the headaches of one day having a teenager;-)

Thanks all. My nephew got off the ventilator Thursday evening and my sister finally got to hold him Friday evening.

@ceagee My sister will have the headache of 2 teenagers only 4-1/2 months apart in age, but it could be worse... she could end up like my parents who for about a year had 5 teenagers.

UPDATE: My nephew finally got to go home this past Friday, and he's up to 5 lbs. 3 oz. IIRC. Still haven't been able to go visit due to my work schedule though. :(

@msklzannie So glad he's home!!

@jml326 You and your poor wife, what an awful decision to make. It takes quite a while to move past such a loss. Years later, she will still have days, as will you, wondering about that child. I think of mine as an angel in Heaven waiting for me when I get there.

@jml326 so sorry to hear this.. Praying for you and your wife.

@mikibell sorry for your previous loss and praying for you now as you await your baby!

@jml326 damn. I am so sorry. Losing a parent is awful. Losing a pregnancy is harder than most think. Grief doesn't get easier, it just hits you less often as time goes on.

@Bogie So sorry.. I wish anyone who wants children could have them..

@Bogie
Hang in there. We tried for 3 years to have our first with the help of science. It was well worth the wait as i think we appreciate it more. And all the "practise" was fun.

@jml326 We're about 5 years, 1 major surgery, 2 other procedures, and 3 IUIs into it and having second thoughts. That's just life, staying positive as much as possible. Just wish people would stop telling us to "relax and it will happen".

@Bogie It is hard to stay positive.. After we lost our baby, I remember seeing someone, who never wanted children, with a beautiful baby. I have never felt so much seething hatred for a person as I did that day. Luckily, we have a good support system (family) to help us get through it. I hope you have that help too.

@Bogie Very sorry to hear that, I'm especially sorry you had to hear it from Maury Povich

@Bogie Same here-- 2 years and the procedures and other stuff starting to stack up. Hang in there!

@Bogie praying for you regarding this personal, painful matter. People will say stupid things to y'all - I know it's easy to say ignore their comments but I truly think most people want to say something encouraging, they just don't know what to say--

@Bogie I'm still holding out hope for you and your beautiful wife to have the baby you've been trying for.

@caffeineguy thoughts and prayers too for you regarding this painful situation..

@PocketBrain If there was a PM feature I'd tell you I agreed with you. But since there isn't, and I don't want to be banned either....

-grabs torch and pitchfork-

@PocketBrain Yay for mom back on her feet!

@PocketBrain glad your moms back on her feet :)

@cranky1950 Start, that's what this thread is for!

@jaremelz Those eyes WOW!!

@Foxborn They were really something. I debated posting this, but in our home, they are undoubtedly family.

@jaremelz They are our four legged Family they count

@jaremelz Was your friend protecting the lego people or were they protecting him??

@mikibell Zuzu needed a little bit of a front line. This was just one of those moments that lined to perfectly. He was an excellent model, if he knew you wouldn't be using the flash.

@jaremelz awesome luck!

@jaremelz Family is family, furred or not. Sorry for your loss. He was one handsome guy.

@jaremelz Four legged family? I know what you mean --

So sorry to hear about your Zuzu.

@mikibell Thanks. Although, I wish my luck had extended to him still being here.

@sligett I love that picture. Looks like a Newfy, at least a mix. Hard to tell.

@jaremelz Oh, Murphy's not as large as the picture makes him appear - he's just in front of me on my lap. Murphy is a black lab/shepherd(?) mix (a rescue dog who doesn't speak very much about his past). He comes to school (work) with me.

@sligett I love that you can bring him with!

@jaremelz I'm so sorry your Zuzu is gone. Caring for our animals means making the decisions they can't make. You did everything you could for him, and made sure he didn't suffer. Now you're grieving, and that's how you honor his memory. I'm sorry.

@jaremelz So sorry to hear about Zuzu- I had to do that with our previous cat, and it was really hard.

@dashcloud @OldCatLady Thank you. It's been heartbreaking.

@jaremelz the loss of a 4 legged family member can damn well hurt just as much as the loss of a human one. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your Zuzu.

@jaremelz sorry to hear of the loss of your four legged family member Zuzu- they are family and I miss all of my four legged family members that I lost through death. They will always be in my thoughts but I still miss each one even today. Praying for you as I have been there and know the pain of losing a beloved animal companion too.

@jaremelz Aw, now I miss my Ziggy and Tigger again.

@jaremelz I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how special our furbabies can be and how hard that loss is. At least you know he was loved. So many animals don't get that lucky.

@stardate820926 A very good point ti keep in mind. I watched as he was born 8 years ago. His mother was a feral that my friend trapped until she gave birth and had fixed. She was more effective in our neighborhood than animal control could ever be.

@jaremelz he was a majestic beastie. Sorry for your loss.

@connorbush All my wishes for continued improvement!

@connorbush with all seriousness, Costco sells an awesome defibrillator. We bought one because I had extra $$ in that use it or lose it health care accounts (company's mistake, but with my money!) Good luck and God bless.

@connorbush That's a wild ride of emotion! I'm glad he's doing better and hope it continues.

@connorbush praying for your fathers continued improvement!

@connorbush I feel ya. My pop had another heart operation this year. He was back on his feet rather quickly, but had a couple of troubling events. At latest count, he's doing much better.

thanks all. stay strong.

update dad was doing well and went to get breakfast on his own. He was sitting at a breakfast bar on stool. at the end of his meal, he went to scoot back and the chair leg got caught in the grout and he fell backwards and broke two ribs.

@connorbush I'm so sorry. I hope it didn't cause complications with the heart issue. :(

@connorbush Aw damn. I'm sorry.

@sohmageek issue is now he can't do the physical therapy :(

@Thumperchick thanks.

@connorbush oh no. Broken ribs can be very painful.

I hope his bones mend quickly.

@connorbush oh no, so sorry to hear this news about your father.. Praying he recovers from this latest setback too!

@connorbush Dad got a DUI for driving on pain pills. How exciting.

@connorbush Aw man, that sucks!

@connorbush UPDATE dad will probably lose license for all of time (kind of a good thing). We found him a place in a 55 and over community about two blocks from my mom's house. Now to fit his 3000 sqft cabin of stuff into a two bedroom house.... He is doing okay but his condition and such is still day by day. He got denied for any type of in-home help assistance from insurance.

@connorbush I hate insurance companies. I have been fighting my Mom's long tem care company to pay for her nursing home stay since October. She's been paying on this insurance, first through her employer and then with her retirement income, for over 30 years. They act like its their money and only their money. They "lost" the first claim papers that we filed and now they are just stonewalling. Meanwhile, the bills from the nursing home just keep on coming. -sigh-

@connorbush @Barney - I'm sorry that insurance companies are such asshats. Especially when it comes to the care of the elderly. I hope your parents claims get approved. Moreso, I hope your parents all start improving soon.

@lumpthar What the hell did you just say? Did I hear you right??

@lumpthar being in that off track spot sucks so bad. I hope you guys can find your way back to the same page and heal some of those thousand cuts.

@lumpthar praying for the two of you-

@ceagee Thank you for writing. I hope it made you feel even a little bit better.

@ceagee I am so very sorry for your loss. It can be tough to put words to our pain and to that of others. But I believe that when we do, it helps close that gap left from loss. Perhaps not permanently, but sometimes, closing that gap just a little bit, and for a short while, is enough.

@ceagee Thanks for sharing, and I definitely love that quote. Hopefully putting it out here can help a bit too. So sorry for your loss. <3

Oh, @ceagee, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. And I'm doubly sorry about teasing you so much because you didn't tell me your "story". Please forgive me.

Your dad is a most fortunate man to have you taking care of him. You are a good daughter.

@Barney That's only part of it. So no worries. Plus I know since you are experiencing a lot w/ your mom you can relate.

@hollboll @jaremelz @looseneck Thank you for your kind words. I think it was good to write it out.
Can't keep it in forever. So it made me sad, but in a good way.
Grief: Can't go around it. Can't go over it. Got to go through it. I've been avoiding.
Need to start writing more -- got my scribe box ordered to get me motivated ! : )

@ceagee Writing it out makes it official, and saying it makes it final. There's always some part of the mind that wants to ignore the hard and ugly facts in life, so journaling helps. I'm very sorry for your loss, and for the protracted grief process. Caring for your father is good for both of you.

@ceagee I'm glad you got it out there. I am sorry for your loss and for the continued pain of watching your father mourn her, too. Thanks for sharing that with us.

@ceagee well put.. Praying for you as I can't imagine how difficult losing a parent , in your case, your mother is. My mother lost her mother ( my grandmother died at 87) years ago on her birthday and never will celebrate her birthday on her birthday anymore. Now, since my mothers health has been in a decline, it has taken both a mental and physical toll on me but I still can't even imagine the pain you've been dealing with over your mothers loss. Praying for you and your loved ones as you will always mourn your mothers loss but praying the pain will be replaced with the good memories.

@ceagee writing it out is super therapeutic. I had some issues with my dad a few months ago and wrote him a super long but really honest letter that I didn't end up sending but it was crazy freeing. Hope the scribe box helps! :)

@sohmageek I do. I probably won't know what to say to help - but I wanna know.

@sohmageek I'm with you. For me, there's just so many and too much explaining. Here's an old one. Back in 2003, with out lot's of details. My daughter's ex boyfriend kicked in our house, no one was there, called her said he broke in the house. She rushed home. He was in her room, on her bed and when she walked in her room, he pick up the shotgun put it his in mouth and blew his head off. All folks have tragedy's . Some folks are lucky and have very few. Some other folks get more than their share. . So like sohmageek says: You don't want to know, really you don't want to know.

@mick I'm hopeful your daughter has recovered from the trauma of that. It's been a while but I know from personal experience that those things have a way of sticking in your head for a long time.

Had something similar to that happen to me back around that same time frame, and as much as I'd like to forget it there is not one single day that has gone by since then that I haven't thought of it. I'd rather not have let that experience define me, but it seems I've lost that battle...

@sohmageek I changed my mind, and would probably be good for you to share. For me, I don't want to bring up sorrows in conversation, so you keep it to yourself, and just the people in your intimate circle, you don't want to burden other folks cause they have their own pain. But in this forum no one knows us personally and our personal pain is shared among the many not heep on an individual. And the folks who come on this forum know what they're going to get, and want to listen and share. It's a little freeing. I hope this made sense.

@pepsiwine This happened 2 days before thanksgiving, making sure we will always be reminded. Of course, it's something she will never forget, but it's not on her mind everyday. It most definitely does not define her in any way, and it most assuredly should not define YOU in any way, at all. When he committed suicide in front of her, it was a selfish, controlling thing to do and NOT her fault period. He was a broken person. A broken person. No one can fix someone, they have to do it for themselves. So yeah, she's living life making lots of real good decisions and then some not so great decisions. lol. Let it go, you can not change the past nor should you live in the past. Whatever happened is NOT your fault. That experience is but one part of your life. That's it. You have a future, you have a life, live it, Darlin.

@AttyVette Can't I be both?

@Thumperchick I agree with @AttyVette, you are an unterrible person. A terrific person.

@Thumperchick I think just the fact that you are asking means you couldn't possibly be a terrible person.

@stardate820926 @sligett
Aww guys, I was really not looking for tge head pats on that. But uh, thanks!

@Thumperchick I haven't read all of this. But here goes ;)
While most of you are rapidly becoming a 2nd (3rd or 4th) family. I feel that some shit should be aired, But not here; Not like this. I may be really pissed at my family and it sucks when people do stupid shit without thinking of the consequences of their actions. Or maybe they are and they are purposefully trying to thin down the herd of family.

It's like my grandfather. His brother and him would talk for a few days. Then stop for years. Stupid fights about stupid shit. They lived 5 houses down from each other. Then one day my grandfather's brother's neighbor noticed there wasn't any smoke from the chimney (wood originally coal furnace) for a day or two and it was really cold. Yup. He was dead. Heart attack they think. But the body was well preserved and frozen solid, also about 2 days late to save him. They had not spoken for about 2 years and just like that. Never would again.

So it's stories like that that make me worried that some stupid shit someone that I care about said in anger/rage will prevent them from seeing me again. But at the same time. An apology goes a long way. And with my family usually people use the ignore it and claim it never happened or you misheard/misunderstood what I said method is used.

@sohmageek Understood. You have my email address if you need a less public place to vent.

@AttyVette I fixed it for you.

@Thumperchick :) c u r the best!

@stardate820926 It really does. Love can be rough because of the pain when they leave us, but all of the good it gives us along the way, is the stuff we are here for. I am so sorry, really.

“The meaning of life is that it stops.” – Franz Kafka

@stardate820926 So sorry for your loss. Although it's not the same as her physical presence, you carry her love in your heart. Always

@stardate820926 l am praying for you too..

@spacezorro and you are much loved.

@spacezorro , we can be your family.

@PyxienTX I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with. I'll be thinking of (and praying for, if that's ok with you!) you and your family.

@nhbillups Thank you. Prayers are always appreciated.

@PyxienTX Sending healing wishes for your son.
My condolences for the loss of your husband.

@ceagee Thank you.

@PyxienTX praying for you too..noticed your name has Tx in it..I Live in The Lone Star state but doesn't mean we should be "loners".. Let me know what I can did to help..I'm praying for your son and for you as the holidays are tough for a lot of people , especially those who have lost loved ones.

@nhbillups Thank you for the update. I was wondering how things were going. You've really been through the ringer.
I hope your husband has a complete and complication free recovery.
I hope your journey through grief to be gentle.

Keep letting us know how things are going !
I am continuing to send you healing wishes for all your family.

@ceagee thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful words (and thoughts)! We have gone through it this year...this New Year's will be my most highly anticipated to date!

@nhbillups praying for you and your family..

@mick The best way to keep the thread up is to keep talking on it. If we keep it updated and moving, it'll stay at the top.

@mick @Thumperchick and then there are some who wish their family would just piss off during the holiday season... and some have actually been told by family they are not welcome. Not all of these things have happy endings, it's not always Friendlies, and sometimes the cops bust down the door at the "massage parlor."

@sohmageek family isn't always pretty, or easy, or anything resembling what family is "supposed" to look like. Real family we choose as adults are the people you choose to share your life with. Sorry your relations are... less than savory.

@sohmageek You know except for on TV, that all families have their pain in the asses and a criminal or 2 depending how big their family is. I think your young? and as you get older, this shit won't upset you so much. You learn that YOU being upset about stuff, doesn't change a fucking thing. But, it takes a few years to accept that. If MOST of your family is negative, don't go! If it's just a couple, go and enjoy the folks you want to see and forget the "others" , ignore them. There can't be a "massage parlor" incident every time and if there is? You need to avoid your family gatherings. Our families are what they are, and no amount of wishing and a hoping is ever going to change that. I have more to say, but I'm tired. And I already wrote a book. Just know that you can't control everything. I wish you a good thanksgiving, do what's best for you.

@mick And the congregation said, "Amen". Very good advice right there.

@mick happy thanksgiving you you guys too :). I am going to go to thanksgiv My with my I'm-laws who are thankful and appreciative for things :) BTW there is no massage parlor incident in my family. Just there are no happy endings of the typical family kind with my family. Family gatherings with my sibling/mother usually end with someone crying and/or a fistfight. So... I try not to put myself through that crap.

@OldCatLady So sorry for your loss. No matter how expected, it's still hard. No way around it. Take care.

@mellaine That's a lot to get off your chest! Thanks for coming out of lurker mode to share with us - I hope you do it more often.
(Even with taking your money on the way out - that's a cheap way to get rid of an abusive jackass. )

@mellaine I am so sorry to hear that! Sorry this had to be your first post on the forums, but hopefully 2016 will bring happier postings from you.

@dashcloud thanks, all happy posts 2016 Happy New Year

@mellaine hi former lurker. sorry to hear things have sucked so much lately. Here's to 2016 bringing you lighter days and a lighter heart. It sounds like you already have a good start with that : )
I hope you will stay out of lurker mode and join in more.
See ya around.