Goat Day #29: Two Truths and a Lie

@lichme

Shirley there’s going to be more than four participants, right?

Maybe if everyone got a (virtual) participation trophy!

@jst1ofknd I would hope so, but who knows. It’s getting harder to get user participation without offering up some type of incentive unless it’s posted by a staff member. And don’t call me Shirley.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@lichme I hit starred @ChadP’s top level comment because I think that is the lie.

@lichme

When do we do the reveal? I’ll follow your lead.

@jst1ofknd Whenever you’re ready

I was given reward money for helping crime stoppers identify a criminal

I was fired from my first real job for being accused of stealing $5 on Christmas

My name growing up was Boo-Boo, because I was an accident

Truth #1: I was fired from my first real job for being accused of stealing $5 on Christmas. However, this claim was completely bogus.

In school we had a co-op program where basically part of the day you worked at a company for school credits. Before my term was done, I got hired on as an employee as well, so I’d work for credits in the morning, and work for $ in the afternoon. I got asked to work on Christmas. Even though it wasn’t my regular scheduled day, I was young and enthusiastic, so I said ok. Christmas was a very busy day early in the morning, since most other businesses were closed. We were so busy that I had to empty the register several times that day into a deposit box that looked like a USPS letter dropoff box, except it had teeth on the opening that would prevent you from putting your hand in it. Even that box ended up overflowing.

In the afternoon, it got quiet. Really quiet. Myself and one of the ladies from the cosmetics got a little bored, so we started messing around with the intercom (station to station, not store wide). Apparently another employee didn’t care for it, and got all mad. She ended up reporting me for pocketing $, which was actually just another employee cashing out a lottery ticket for me. This was common before companies started caring about age restrictions on lotto. I voluntarily worked Christmas, was getting paid 2.5x my normal wage for the holiday, and had over 10K in the bank as part of a lawsuit against a pizza delivery guy that ran over my brother when he was 14. $5 is what I got fired for.

Furthermore, that deposit box that was overflowing with envelopes full of cash, it was in the back of the store, with no cameras, and I was the one that kept reporting that it was too full, as it got to a point where anybody could reach in and take an envelope full of cash. That area was not under any cameras either. Any kid that is going to steal probably would have done it from there.

Anyways, the next work day, I went in for my shift. I was asked to come in early, so I did. When I got there, I was told that I was seen stealing. I denied it, asked for proof, and gave the names of several witnesses that could back me up. They all backed me up, except this one bitter employee. I got fired. Not only that, I lost the placement at school. Luckily I had put in enough hours to get my credits, and the school counselor was also told that yes, the other employees backed me up and said I was an excellent employee, and did nothing of the sort. Had they not of done that, I would have failed and lost out on two classes worth. Absolute bullshit.

Truth #2: My name growing up was Boo-Boo, because I was an accident. I still occasionally get called this. No, I do not want to go get some pic-a-nic baskets.

When I was around 5, I had a knock knock joke that apparently I made up, and thought it was hilarious, so I’ve been told. It goes:

“Knock Knock…”
“Who’s there?”
“Boo-Boo”
“Boo-Boo who?”
“BOO-BOO TALKING”!

Hahahahaha! Yeah, I don’t get it either…

Lie: I was given reward money for helping crime stoppers identify a criminal. No part of that is true, I’ve never contacted crime stoppers.

By my count: 24 of 27 of you were wrong! Good job @Kawa @LimeWater @Scott1022

I’ve never been to Spain, but I’ve been to Oklahoma.

I once worked for a member of the Senate.

I am currently a programmer.

Truth 1.

I’ve never been to Spain, but I’ve been to Oklahoma.
I was born and raised is Oklahoma and I have never been to another country.

I typed that and realized the lyrics to the sing were actually “I’ve never been to heaven, but I’ve been to Oklahoma”. I thought about changing it to be correct, but decided that would be a dead (pun intended) giveaway.

Truth 2.

I am currently a programmer. I kind of fell into the job about 10 years ago. I speak C# and VB.NET.

I once found a big bag of silver half-dollars, and gave one to everyone at the office.

I am hoping to give away an antique samurai sword.

I once saw a ghost.

It’s tomorrow already, so fyi it was the half-dollars thing - I did give one each to several people, but not EVERYone at the office.

@aetris We’re gonna need to hear more about this ghost now.

@lichme - Brace yourself for what is either the most boring ghost story ever, or conceivably a mildly interesting psychological anecdote:

Ever since about 1963 I have sat in the exact same place whenever dining at my parents, with my back to the front window and looking across the table toward the door into the kitchen. About ten years ago I was sitting there eating when I happened to see my parents’ cat walk past the doorway inside the kitchen. This had not been a particularly remarkable sight for some ten years previous but it surprised me at the time since the cat had died the previous year. It was a ginger tom of medium build, not a particularly unusual cat, but when I of course excused myself to go into the kitchen ‘to refill my water glass’ there was no cat. I distinctly recalled seeing it, but it was only a momentary glimpse. Uninterestingly it presaged no dramatic news, deaths in the family, or the discovery of hidden treasure.

BUT never mind about THAT! Hey, can anybody here read Japanese? What does THIS say:

![][1]

@aetris @lichme I have it on good authority that the writing is Chinese instead of Japanese.

@Cythwulf !!!
???
Well, that explains SOMEthing. Sort of…

Thanks!

So, uh, does anyone read CHInese?

@aetris @Cythwulf @lichme How can you tell the difference? I thought that the differences between Kanji and traditional Chinese writing were minimal.

@aetris @lichme @Limewater I’ve been told:

Kanji has Kana in it. That’s the main way to tell if its Japanese vs Chinese. Hanzi has no extraneous characters. So Japanese will be complex Kanji sprinkled with more simple looking characters
whereas Chinese will be blocks of the complex Hanzi.

A volcano in the Philippines erupted while I was on a ship headed for the Philippines.

I received an indirect lightning strike once.

I was born in the city of Miami before it sank back into the Ocean.

@PocketBrain
Truths:

• I was stationed on board the USS Abraham Lincoln in 1991 when Mt. Pinatubo, island of Luzon, Philippines, started erupting. The ship was reassigned to evacuate Air Force personnel and their families (and pets, even) to a safer location.

• I was born in Miami. Some day in the distant future, it will sink back into the ocean; it’s built on dredge, after all.

• Lie: I did, however, receive an indirect lightning strike… twice. Second time it killed the tree and I had it removed before it fell on the house.

I once worked at the Post Office

I lived in Japan for a time.

I really enjoy playing video games.

@Targaryen Ready for the lie? I did not live in Japan, but I did live Korea for 1 1/2 years. Teaching English.

@Kawa I once found a basement full of monster animatronics.

@Kawa I haven’t eaten turkey on Thanksgiving since I was a small child.

@Kawa I once worked in government intelligence.

Truth 1: the Monsterkabinett is a real art installation, currently set up in a basement under a bar in central Berlin. Partner and I found it while we were there in June; it’s neat if you like weird art.

Truth 2: I’ve known I’m allergic to poultry since I was a kid, and as a first-gen American whose parents worked in hospitals we didn’t even spend every Thanksgiving having a full family dinner, let alone having American food my parents didn’t really like. Back when I was engaged and spent some Thanksgivings with my then-partner’s family, they always made some Cuban-style pork for me as well as the turkey for everyone else. Now my parents are retired (and I no longer go to my ex’s Thanksgiving), so we do celebrate Thanksgiving, but the main dish is never turkey - recent years have had a a pile of lobsters, and yes, more pork shoulder too. I’m hosting this year, and might repeat the pork shoulder since it’s easy and practically personally traditional by now, but a whole snapper could be interesting too.

Lie: I’ve never actually worked in government intelligence. When I was in grad school, I applied for, interviewed for, and didn’t get an internship with the NSA, but that’s as close as I’ve gotten.

Congrats to the 8 that got it - @limewater @medz @moonhat @aetris @Cythwulf @jst1ofknd @shahnm @deanmanolis. I’m impressed that I managed to almost evenly distribute how many people picked which!

@Kawa Why don’t you go to your ex’s Thanksgiving anymore?

@Limewater Well, uh, my ex was the only reason I was interacting with that family - and a few siblings were never kind to me anyway, even back when we were together. And now my parents celebrate Thanksgiving, as I said. My family’s in New York and theirs is in Florida, so it’s not a thing I could swing by if I wanted to, which I don’t.

@Kawa What if they’ve been expecting you all this time and you never showed up? You should at least RSVP that you won’t make it.
Every year.
For the rest of your life.

@ChadP I was once a security guard for a public pool system

@ChadP I have a Pink Floyd tattoo

@ChadP I played in a rock band that enjoyed a nice run of successes including being approached about the possibilities of recording an album with the same team that did Maroon 5’s first album.

Truth 1. I was once a security guard for a public pool system. That was my summer job in college. I was a security guard, helping keep the public pools free of conflict and making sure the lifeguards could do their jobs.

Truth 2. I played in a band. We had a year where we got noticed by a few a people, and were eventually contacted by a management company and record company, both who had helped find Maroon 5 and get their first album made, about potentially recording an album and touring. They were looking for similar bands. We were right on the edge of that sound (remember what they used to sound like). We had some emails and phone calls and then they us.

Lie. I don’t have a Pink Floyd tattoo. I do have a Dave Matthews Band tattoo, though.

@ChadP I used to like you, so I’ll give you some advice. If you want people to like you, don’t tell them about your the DM tat.

@capguncowboy That’s terrible advice.

@capguncowboy @ChadP You should get a face tattoo that says “Ask me about my Dave Matthews Band tattoo”

@capguncowboy @ChadP @lichme Face tats are the BEST!

@moonhat I used to work at a chocolate factory

@moonhat I have 15 fillings in my teeth

@moonhat I used to play rugby

Hey, this is a cool logic puzzle. If #1 is true, then #2 must be true. But if #3 is true then @moonhat wouldn’t HAVE teeth, so #3 CAN’T be true! So I’m going with #3.

@aetris @moonhat Yes, but one can have fillings without working at a chocolate factory, and rugby may not have taken out all the teeth beforehand…

@Kawa - you can’t have fillings where you got no teeth:

@aetris @Kawa Man, I bet he’s really good at sports.

@moonhat congrats to @cythwulf @mollama @lichme @jksquared @shahnm & @metaphore for getting it correct! I do have a new fillings, but not 15. I worked in a chocolate factory in Blaine, WA right out of college for a lack of a better job right away, and as for rugby, in my late 20’s for a few years I played on the women’s side of the Seattle RFC as a lock, good times!

I’ve gone over a year wearing nothing but Animaniacs shirts.

I’ve gone over 3 months wearing nothing but catshirts.

I’ve gone over a month wearing anything except catshirts.

@narfcake

Well, this is changes upon breaking it down.

The first and third can go hand-in-hand.

@narfcake @PlacidPenguin He didn’t say that it is a current span, could have been back in 84 wearing the animaniacs shirts.

@narfcake @raccoon81

Not once was time mentioned.

Also, if Narfy had an Animaniacs t-shirt collection back in 84, not only would that be worth A LOT, but he might be able to sue for some big money.

@PlacidPenguin @raccoon81 Yeah, 1984 is 9 years early.

(Animaniacs premiered on September 9, 1993.)

The first and third can go hand-in-hand.

This should have been a great clue, because if the first was true, then the third would automatically be true too. Which it is.

I once did two months of catshirts, but it still wasn’t everyday.

So yay, @mollama, @jst1ofknd, @Scott1022, @RiotDemon, and @OldCatLady for picking the right one!

Since the age of 15, I’ve never been unemployed. (even for a single day)

I’ve never cheated on my spouse. (not even first base)

When promoted, I became the youngest manager in my department’s history.

Truth 1: Ever since I had my first real job, I’ve never gone a single day without being on the payroll somewhere. Some jobs have even overlapped. For example: working weekend nightshift at one job while working another job during the week until I got a raise and could quit the nightshift. Then still working that job while doing the initial training week at the next job. I’ve taken paid vacations, but that’s still steadily employed.

Truth 2: I may have looked a couple times, but I have never touched with any kind of sensual intent.

Lie: I did get promoted to a manager of sorts after 6 months working my college job, but wasn’t the youngest and it wasn’t a manager of a “department” per se. In my post-college field of work (including current job), there isn’t much room for promotion. Not moving up the ladder any time soon.

16 of you were wrong. Including 5 who assumed I’m a cheater. There IS an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins, but I couldn’t do that to her. She’s my best friend.

@moonhat, @Sabre99, @tnhillbillygal, and @speediedelivery got it right!

I dislike Star Wars fans, and will go out of my way to avoid them.

I once accidentally broke someone’s collarbone during a high school football scrimmage.

I once ate a box of donuts in the parking lot before getting out of my car because I didn’t want @woodhouse to see that I wasn’t sticking to my diet.

@DJ_Purchache you son of a bitch

@DJ_Purchache @woodhouse

Obviously the third one.

I can’t see you eating only one box of donuts.

@PlacidPenguin @woodhouse What if I only bought 1 box of donuts?

@Cythwulf Truth 1: I haven’t always, but as time goes on, I find myself more and more annoyed by the Star Wars community. It was once my goal in life to become the “Keeper of the Holocron” which is the job title for the official lore keeper of the Star Wars universe, but now I’ve stopped playing Star Wars MMOs and avoid bringing up the topic.

Truth 2: I asked the coach if I could try my hand at defense, as I had played center for years. The receiver caught the ball, but I tackled him before he could take another step, and later learned that the crack I heard wasn’t helmet to helmet.

Despite my current size, the most donuts I’ve eaten in one day is 2.5

@Cythwulf I literally just polished off a donut while reading this. In case you’re wondering, it was a Long John from Hurts Donuts.

I used to work for the Department of Corrections.

I have never been arrested.

I was the youngest Red Cross certified life-saver ever in the class.

I knew I should have picked a different lie darnit. I was arrested while underage drinking delicious adult beverages mixed from my very first bottle of Jack Daniels. I was outside of my garage apartment when the police came up to see what was going on. I probably would have just got a talkin’ to, but much like the comedian Ron White, I had the right to remain silent–but lacked the ability to do so.
Good job all you correct guessers!

I was 11 years old when I got Red Cross certified in water rescue (actually, I had to wait a year for my certificate) One of my more recent jobs was as a subcontractor working at a DOC half-way house. Many, many days, it was just me and 100 or so of my closest felonious buddies. Fortunately, the sheriffs up in Osage county were close by. For the most part though, the men were trying to get out of the system and on with their lives so they weren’t much trouble.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I pride myself on “speaking” cat and will meow at any feline I see to elicit a response.

My favorite Star Trek Captain is Kirk because he always jumps into trouble.

My favorite food to cook and eat is potstickers and I only like the ones that I make myself.

The lie was #2. Captain Picard is the only captain for me!
11 people got it right!
/giphy Captain Picard

@tnhillbillygal So how do you feel about the other captains? I’m one of the few that think Voyager was pretty good. Then again I generally like all the Star Trek stuff anyway.

I store batteries in the refrigerator to keep them fresh.

I don’t really store batteries in the refrigerator, because that’s just dumbass, and to suggest otherwise is even more dumbass, dumbass.

The refrigerator is a metaphor.

I’m a published author.

I’m in the Video Game Hall of Fame.

I’ve never had traffic ticket.

@metaphore If the Video Game Hall of Fame one is true, you probably have an opinion about Billy Mitchell. What is it?

When I was in middle school a story I wrote was published in a real actual book, copies of this book still exist in the world. No you can’t read it.

I am not in the Video Game Hall of Fame, but my SO is, along with a few hundred other people for the original World of Warcraft.

I have never gotten a traffic ticket, not even a parking ticket.

I worked as a rodeo clown for two years after high school

In 2007, my band signed with Island Records, but a hiccup in the recording studio ended our contract.

I am playing this game correctly.

They’re all lies.

/giphy everyone wins!

My handle refers to the Roland TR-808.

My handle refers to the 808 area code for Hawaii.

My handle refers to being twice the fun of a HTTP 404 response code for ‘File Not Found’.

@mike808 Wait, wouldn’t that be “Two Lies and a Truth?”

They’re all true.
/giphy everybody wins!

@jksquared I have only ever owned the same make & model of car.

@jksquared I was a contestant in the Pillsbury Bake-Off.

@jksquared I have broken 5 bones in my body.

@jksquared I have had a 1990, a 2000, a 2003, and now a 2013 Honda Accord (to be fair the 2003 was a lease).

I have broken my ankle, my pinky, and 3 toes (at different times).

I enjoy baking and cooking but have never competed in a cooking competition, let alone the Bake-Off.

@LeviOhPlz I don’t like (modern) horror movies.

@LeviOhPlz Approximately 70% of my body has tattoos.

@LeviOhPlz Car karaoke is one of my favorite things.

I realized I didn’t come back and clear up my truths and lie! Ok, here goes.

@LeviOhPlz I realized I never came back to clear up my lie!

Truth is, I don’t like most modern horror movies(Saw, Insidious, It Comes at Night). Old school classic, campy movies (Carrie, Children of the Corn, Night of the Living Dead) are fine by me. I will also choose to watch and enjoy movies that, even though they are branded as horror, are really not IMO (The Craft, Daybreakers, Resident Evil, Underworld).

@LeviOhPlz I only have a grand total of 3 (rather small) tattoos. But I have delusions of someday having lots and lots more!
So, there’s the lie.

@LeviOhPlz I will sing at the top of my lungs with the windows down to the right song. Sometimes it’s the best way to turn a bad day around. Just hop in the car, turn on some tunes, and sing the woes away!

@LeviOhPlz When may we expect your AMA?

@therealjrn Soon.

@mehcuda67 As a result of some smart aleck remarks made in a bar, I was unwittingly quoted as an anonymous official source in a newspaper article that resulted in a international incident.

@mehcuda67 I was bitten on the nose by a skunk.

@mehcuda67 I won two local hotdog eating contests.

@mehcuda67 I’m very muckraking-biased so I hope the international incident story is true.
/define muckraking

NOUN

• 1 the action of searching out and publicizing scandal about famous people

@mehcuda67 @therealjrn

1. True. 30-odd years ago. But rather than muckraking, it was more making fun of the work ethic, skill level and astounding safety and code violations of locals working on a project overseas. While our stories were true, my then colleague and I fully exercised our respective gifts of sarcasm (fueled by beer, frustration, and the laughter of nearby bar patrons at our descriptions). We weren’t told that the friendly guy asking us silly questions at the bar was an international news correspondent until right after we finished our slightly inebriated venting. Said correspondent then disappeared into the crowd. Story was published globally. Fan and excrement met at a level way above my pay grade. Oops.
   It left quite an impression on me about how the news works.

2. True. When I was a kid, our family’s pet skunk had an obsession with trying to stick her head in our mouths if we were laying on the floor. I refused to play this rather gross game. She figured out that by gently biting the septum of my nose with her tiny incisors that I would yell and open my mouth.
   Skunk win.
   (Skunks are faster and smarter than their initial impression might suggest.)

3. False. Though friends suggested it (especially when I was younger), I’ve never had an interest in competitive eating.

1. I am pretty sure I know the one English word that is its own antonym.

2. I am not PADI certified, but have open water dived in the ocean.

3. I won $1.43 at HQ.

Losers:
@moonhat @RiotDemon : cleave
@jst1ofknd : Molokini. Saw mantas.

Chicken Dinner:
@lichme @therealjrn @f00l
HQ can suck it.

@mike808 is inflammable the same kind of thing? I’ll have to go look that up and learn something. Thank you, I love learning

@mike808 oops, 1 is a lie because there are multiple: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto-antonym
But, surprising to me, inflammable is NOT really an auto-antonym.
Learning, learning, yeah learning!!

@mollama some of those “examples” are slang, American English, or are adverbs that when you put them after verbs that mean opposite actions do not mean the adverb itself means the opposite, imho. This is an example of why you can’t cite Wikipedia in scholarly work.

1. I shot a loaded cannon at a sitting president and the secret service didn’t do anything about it

2. I was a guest of the Uruguay Navy on their tall ship one 4th of July parade of sail in NYC

3. In the annual October Baltimore (Fells Point) to Norfolk schooner race down the Chesapeake Bay one year I was the night watch captain on a schooner in the race and we placed second that year.

@Kidsandliz I bet Obama was pissed

@Kidsandliz Was it a cannon or a Canon?

@shahnm 2 n’s as in cannon shoots stuff out the bore hole.

@therealjrn not the right president - Reagan

@Kidsandliz Shucks. I was trying to catch you on a technicality…

#1 and #2 are true, #3 is false

#1 Parade of sail in NYC, working on a Tall Ship, loaded the cannon with a frozen hotdog which hit the (I think it was) Fitzgerald about 30’ above the water line. We joke we missed him by maybe 500 feet.

#2 Again tall ship parade. Was invited on by the captain. Fun boat - very relaxed outside of when we passed other military boats going the other direction when they jumped to attention (eg coming back in to harbor on our way out - we followed a U shaped parade path and were about the 10th class A in line so closer to the back) and then went back to lounging around, drinking some sort of coffee type thing out of a strange looking cup.

#3 - We came in around the middle of the pack. High school kids on board new to tall ships who were on just for the race - they drove back to baltimore). Not the best crew for winning a race but they had a blast.

#1 I’ve survived two helicopter “unscheduled landings”

#2 I had a real, fully loaded rifle pointed at me while running a TV camera during a parade.

#3 I have actually been shot at at least three times. (that I know of)

#1 TRUE. Both while flying crew chief out of NAS Pensacola’s Chevalier Field for the Naval Air Rework Facility. Both times I wanted to kiss the pilot square on the lips for safely bringing us down.

#2 TRUE. In 1976 President Ford was grand marshal for the Cherry Festival Grand Parade in Traverse City, MI. I was running camera on top of the radio station (WTCM) for live coverage of the parade. Per the Secret Service nobody was allowed on any rooftop during the parade. As I’m waiting for the parade to start I hear someone on a bullhorn yell, “get off the roof! Get off the roof now!” I remember thinking some idiot is on a roof despite everyone being told not to. That’s when I spotted the person on the bullhorn and the sharpshooter standing next to him on the 5 story bank building across the street. The sharpshooter was aiming at me. Apparently nobody informed the SS that I would be running camera atop the radio station. I quickly put the camera between me and the rifle and informed the director what was going on. It took ten minutes but it was eventually cleared up.

#3 FALSE. I’ve only been shot at twice that I know of. Both times flying personnel and supplies into Lebanon. When I was directing the newscasts I always defined stress as, “…landing your helicopter on the ship, patching the bullet holes with speed tape, and taking off to do the same thing that got you shot at the first time. directing the news wasn’t stress, it was just watching TV.”