Father's Day Soapbox

@ACraigL Those are pretty cool. I love the zombie crates. I suppose it's too much to ask for them to do some consumables crates that are gluten-free.

@joelmw thats what a sissy boy would say!!! man up and eat your damn gluten!

@ACraigL They have a pic of the guy that puts these together on the Pipe Carving Kit. I'd stay away from them until he gets a shirt.

@denboy You're not alone. I am approaching my 8th Father's day and it feels weird every time.
My favorite one was when we blew everything off for the weekend and went camping in N. Georgia. Went tubing and everything. That was the best so far.
This year's will be more bittersweet as my kids will be with the grandparents. :-/

@denboy I'm on my 33rd. I'll take it if only as an excuse for my daughter to write me a note. And those are the best things I've ever received anyway (and she has bought me some nice gifts; I still like her words best, and feel better if she uses the cash for herself and her husband--especially if it means they get to splurge).

@joelmw @lumpthar So it seems the experiences with your kids are what ended up making it interesting. Maybe as my daughter grows older it will create those memorable interactions.

@joelmw Are you counting the year I was a fetus or just now telling me I have an older sibling?

My life was a lie.

@christinewas We did in fact celebrate that one. So there. 😜

@joelmw Oh crap, I am supposed to thank my dad for good qualities?? Drats, I thank him for my high Cholesterol and BP, my crooked nose, and Thank Goooodneess, I didn't inherit his full beard!!

@mikibell Please don't feel obliged. If you don't, it only makes me feel better about how awesome my daughter is. ;-)

@joelmw Oh, I love my dad more than just about anyone and he knows it :) Recently he was diagnosed with cancer and Leukemia, so we keep it lighthearted on purpose. (After thanking him for everything he does for my family and has done for me.)

@mikibell Sorry about your dad. Hope you get more quality time with him. Mine has Alzheimer's, not fun to experience our awesome and once invincible dads fade. Luckily they've injected themselves into us to carry their legacies forward. Here's to our Dads!

@joelmw Uhhh... Crap. What am I supposed to say this year, since you've already reminded yourself of those things I appreciate about you?

@christinewas wait, am I meeting @joelmw's daughter here (should I have already known you were here? )....and a VMP at that? I'm thinking there are some shared genes going on between y'all.

@denboy yep! I'm guessing that you didn't know I was here for the same reason I didn't join during the kickstarter. He didn't mention it.

@christinewas It could easily be that I done forgot and that it's not your papas's fault.

@denboy it's POSSIBLE. But he definitely didn't tell me about the kisckstarter.

@denboy Sadly, I think he is acquiring some sort of mental degeneration at the same time.. Not quite fair considering he is so young, not that I would wish this on an old person either. I do strive to make sure his life is the best I can make it. I had to be disrespectful for the first time in my life to him and ask him to "cut the crap" thinking he was invincible. If he leaves me alone with my mother, I will go insane!!!!!!!! Since then, he has at least given what he was doing some thought -- then proceeded to do what he wanted anyways :)

@joelmw My present to my dad this year is a week with my children, think he will say thank you?? ;)

@christinewas Thanks for setting the bar so high there!!! :) Good thing I have not told my dad about meh!

@mikibell One way or another, I bet he'll be thankful when you take them. ;-)

@mikibell to be honest, it's mostly a matter of my dad's perception. He's that adoring variety of father that thinks everything I do is magical. I will never find a bigger fan.

@mikibell It's hard to re-calibrate on who they're becoming when the mind goes. it takes lots of patience and empathy. Your Dad's lucky to have good family support.

@medz TIL that there's a thing called Amazon Mom. What I'd do is take "Mom" as gender neutral--and that seems how they intend it. Gender-specific titles are kind of a pain in the ass anyway. I had a crew once that referred to me as their "mother figure," which I took as a total compliment, and I was in fact arguably more maternal than paternal with them. Stereotypes. Sex parts. Oy.

@joelmw i suppose. It's not just amazon. Pampers rewards and newly anything related to babies is presented with the assumption the target market is all female. Father's are supposed to be involved in all that these days, but we get no credit.

@medz It's true. For me, that's more about the culture. Within my family and among extended family and friends that matter, if anything I feel like I've gotten more credit than I deserve, but, as the original post and other comments have implied, there's this persistent idea in popular culture that fathers, husbands, men in general--we're all just a joke. But fuck popular culture anyway. It's all controlled by businesses that don't give a shit about us anyway. I hope I've offended someone in big business, because they owe us several million fucking apologies.

@medz And when it comes down to it, the world is full of assholes (I wonder even about some of my family and friends, not to mention myself), so what can we expect? There are few people whose judgment and opinions ultimately matter to me--and those judgments and opinions rarely align with the majority.

@joelmw yeah, none of that really matters when my daughter hugs me and says she loves me.

@capguncowboy With the first wife, I told her I would never buy her a household appliance for a gift unless she specifically and emphatically requested it; even then, I'd be hesitant. She did in fact one year for Christmas request and I purchased a waffle iron "for her." But I attached a written promise that I would make her waffles with it whenever she requested. As best as I can recall, she never used the waffle iron. And I did make her waffles whenever she asked for them--the good kind, from scratch, with egg whites beaten separately and folded in carefully (once you've had the right kind of waffles, you never want to see that boxed crap). It's probably the best gift I've ever given and I'm pretty darned proud of it. When we went away for a second honeymoon (after renewing our vows at 20 years), I took everything I'd need to make waffles at the timeshare a friend let us use. Waffles were kind of a big deal in our relationship, I guess.

@joelmw cute story brah, I just got lost on it for a bit... you say your first wife, but then you renewed you vows, you guys got a divorce?

@joelmw TL;DR You want to make me waffles. Ha, JK. We own a waffle iron but since I don't care for waffles, she uses it most of the time. I occasionally make them for the kids. I just figure that appliances and tools are something you need, and shouldn't be given as gifts. I guess I've always viewed gifts as something you want, not something you need

@jareza It's one of those awkward things. My first wife died in 2007. I always want to include that fact for the sake of clarity, but it's somewhat out of pride, because marriage and--more importantly--the women I love mean a lot to me. And idunno, people express sympathy and then I feel like I'm fishing for it (and I really have had more than I need). So I try to not mention it. But, yeah, she left me after 25 years--but it wasn't really her choice either. Part of why my wife now fell in love with me (and was un-cynicized about marriage) was seeing how first wife and I were looking at each other in renewal pictures. So, there, damnit, that's my story. ;-)

@jareza So, yaknow, maybe this is weird, but I heard this song listening to a podcast while shooting some hoops at the gym late one night in the midst of my mourning. It was one of many weird things that helped me get through it. Pretty sure I've posted it elsewhere in these forums, but, yaknow, what the fuck, here it is:

@jareza So, to be very clear, my wife was faithful, but she also loved Jesus. And in the end, I suppose he won. I'm extremely grateful for the life I have now though. And I love my current wife more than I ever thought I could love a woman, especially after having lost the woman that I loved. It's a total mindfuck, losing a spouse. But again, I don't think I could be more in love with or grateful for or pleased with anyone than I am my current wife.

@joelmw And that's enough from you, goddamnit. Blah blah blah.

@joelmw wow, all kidding aside, I feel your pain. I married my high school sweetheart we have been married for 4 years, we have known each other for 10 years, and I love her deeply, we just had a baby about a year ago and Im really happy about it. It kind of breaks my hearth hearing stories like yours since love has become now a days so superficial.... Its really weird when people give us "the look" as if being with one partner is weird or something... if you are a how I meet your mother fan, I like to describe my relationship as the one that Lily and Marshall have. :) kudos to you for believing in love for an eternity and God Bless!

@capguncowboy If you have the money to buy me a tool I want and haven't already bought for myself, go right ahead. Expect to spend $500+ If you buy me some shitty socket set from homedepot, I will give it back to you on your birthday.

@poppaearl My kids are searching for the Mother's day card about farting -- while I don't belch, my farts are deadly ;)