AlcoHAWK and an n=1 experiment
17in the interest of science. i have done an experiment. no animals were harmed during the completion of this experiment.
i received an alcoHAWK drunkenness measuring device in my latest irk. so, i figured i would see how many martinis it would take to achieve a BAC of .08. my first step, run a control and verify my BAC is measured as 0.0 prior to imbibing. results here:
my next step was to uninstall doordash and grubhub from my phone. because, let’s face it, the COVID weight ain’t going away by getting drunk for science and ordering a bunch of taco bell, arbys, and bbq. finally, my martini ingredient measurements are on point. while the amount of olive brine or vermouth may vary slightly, the amount of vodka is the same in each martini. i’ve allowed for a +/- 4 drops of vodka variance.
it should also be noted, that prior to initiating the experiment, i consumed a big ass asada burrito approximately 2 hours prior. so, the experiment was not done on an empty stomach.
experiment start time: 1716 (measured from first martini sip)
i consumed my first martini over a long period of 5 minutes. (hey… it’s been a shitty week since last week, so fuck off and leave me alone) after waiting 20 minutes per the user guide, i took the next measurement. i also used the time gap to prepare the next drink. 1st alcohawk measurement (1744):
hmm… interesting. half way to .08. oddly, i do have a very mild buzz going. maybe that burrito was eaten too far in advance? still though, my typing skills remain, and my speech seems fine. i was able to say “she sells sea shells on the see shore” normally. i was also able to play the william tell overture by snapping my fingers and clapping normally.
i remain suspicious in regards to the accuracy of this device. anywho… on to martini #2.
start time on martini #2: 1745
end time on martini#2: 1813 (not counting when final martini olive was consumed… about 1 minute later)
measurement taken at 1827:
i can still say the control phrase “she sells sea shells on the see shore” with no issue. and my hand rendition of the william tell overture is still unaffected. on to martini #3 (consumption started at 1835, ended at 1905)
so, according to the aldohawk, i’m properly schnockered. i have noticed my control phrase is coming out a bit slurred… more of a
she shells sea shells on the she shore". however, my hand rendition of the william tell overture appears to be ok. side note: i kind of want another burrito. what fuckface uninstalled my food apps???
due to a lack of preparedness, i’m out of olive brine, so i must end the experiment here. i very much question the accuracy of the alcohawk. on the other hand, the entertainment value of this device at a party is very high. i would have liked to have received more than the 3 disposable tips though. maybe meh can send me more so that i may make this a more than n=1 experiment.
until such a time though, peace out you magnificent fuckers!
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I so want one of those!!! I would do experiments like that all the time. And definitely order tons more of the disposable tips. If anybody that got one doesn’t want it, please let me know; it will go to very good use.
So every successive drink makes you less drunk. Good to know.
@sammydog01 every successive drink makes me better at darts. though my bowling goes to shit after the second drink.
I’m curious how long you stay drunk. Maybe this is in relation to the fact that you don’t get hungover.
@RiotDemon @phendrick this is a good idea and i’ll use it the next time i run this. last night though, i laid down on the couch shortly after concluding the experiment and fell asleep.
@carl669 @phendrick now we need to set up a chart with a timer.
I got one in my IRK as well, I was very excited, we’re going to test it out this weekend. I think you can get 50 of the mouthpieces for $12 on Amazon
I agree with RiotDemon, @carl669 should finish the experiment by showing the wind-down, with more readings further into the night, without any more alcohol consumption (food allowed, though, but I suggest holding off on too many burritos). Significant to know when (1) back to 0.08 and (2) back to 0.0.
If it is too late to do that now, you could enjoy repeating the experiment from scratch tomorrow. (I assume you like martinis and have nothing better to do than getting drunk, just as before.)
There was one in my IRK and my first thought was to experiment like that too! I don’t like the wait 20 minutes part though.
Add a reaction tester to your experiment instead of going by your own observations. Tester
There is a reason they call it driving under the influence not drunk driving. .08 is when impairment begins.
@callow the 20 minute wait part does suck. you can’t eat or drink anything during that time (i took that quite literally and didn’t even drink any water)
the reaction tester seems like a much better control test than “she sells sea shells on the sea shore”, because it’s got numbers and shit.
@carl669 this device is defective. It doesn’t also measure how many times in a row in one minute you can clearly say “fuck” as part of the test of drunkenness. Hmm or whether or not you can actually… um never mind…that part would have been NSFW
Two questions:
At what measurement does one become able to perform the William Tell with fingersnaps and claps?
And, Who else is trying this right now?
@themutilator i was able to accomplish it at .00 and .09. i guess technically it’s not claps since the palms of my hands aren’t striking each other. rather, the palm of one hand, is striking the top of a fist made by the other hand. i will attempt to take a video and post it.
also, everyone should be trying this. it is a vital life skill, as is the detachable thumb trick.
@carl669 @themutilator Is it the single finger snap on each hand or the double? I was trying to find a clip of Curly from the three stooges doing it, but I did find this (second trick):
@stolicat @themutilator it’s basically the Curly move modified to play the william tell overture.