@tightwad I've used all the implements in the original list. I agree on the scythe, and would use the pitchfork over it, any day. On the other hand, a hay hook is an excellent weapon, especially for sneaking up on anyone backing away from my approaching Rotobaler.
@tightwad I chose scythe because it seemed the silliest. I was shocked, yes shocked, to find it was the most popular. Doesn't a rifle count as an agricultural implement?
When we called 911 to report a rabid racoon, their response was "shoot it".
A kaiser blade. "Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it a kaiser blade. It's just a long handle, kind of like an axe handle, with a long blade on it shaped like a bananer. Mmhm."
@AnotherDawn I think that sounds like what I was about to call a cane knife. I'd wield one, mmhhmm.
Edit: after checking Google, you're right. Kaiser blade is what I incorrectly called a cane knife for years, thanks to my ex's dad. A cane knife is different.
Long handled sharp sickle (sometimes called a grass hook in the south and certainly not to be confused with a scythe, which is a total and complete bitch to swing anywhere above ankle level - I know from experience). Sickle may win over hay hook based on extended reach - but a hay hook is a nasty thing, especially antique hooks that are curved differently than modern ones.
Why my coyote rifle isn't an option though is beyond me, it is totally an implement IMHO.
The hoe would be easiest to adapt to a proper pole arm; bend the neck 90° and you have a good bladed spear with three times the maneuverability of the shovel and a much smaller safe grabbing area at the business end than a pitchfork.
I guess the opponents matter, too: who or what am I trying to damage? How many allies, and am I picking for all of us together? What terrain are we defending or taking? There are scenarios that dramatically favor each improvised weapon over the others.
My g'ma used a pitchfork to kill a rampaging bull when she was a teen... good enough for me. Shovel is also a good choice. Blunt strike with the flat of the spade, can cut if you keep the spade edge sharp enough. Good handle for blocking and staff-like strikes, same as pitchfork.
Scythe wouldn't be very good in a fight. You'd leave yourself far too open to attack trying to use it, and it doesn't really have that great a reach since it swings instead of using a thrust.
The bale hook is wicked, but not the best if you don't down your opponent with the first strike or they have a reach weapon, or you don't wound enough to bleed them out quickly. The kusarigama is a good choice, but then a case could be made for most all of the Okinawan kobudo weapons, since they all originated as farming tools.
Tractor.
Does a combine count as an agricultural implement?
A plucked chicken of course.
@eVil That weasel looks kinda wicked.
Fear the reaper
No combine with threshing attachment? Well poop.
A scythe, like Death's in the Hogfather.
I've got a nice bale hook in one hand, and the Rotobaler's on the way.
I would say all those voting scythe have never used one...very unwieldy. Hay hook would be nasty, pitchfork would be easiest
@tightwad I've used all the implements in the original list. I agree on the scythe, and would use the pitchfork over it, any day. On the other hand, a hay hook is an excellent weapon, especially for sneaking up on anyone backing away from my approaching Rotobaler.
@tightwad If it's good enough for Death, it's good enough for me.
@tightwad I chose scythe because it seemed the silliest. I was shocked, yes shocked, to find it was the most popular. Doesn't a rifle count as an agricultural implement?
When we called 911 to report a rabid racoon, their response was "shoot it".
@tightwad I definitely went pitchfork. Started to do hatchet, then realized that those with longer handles would be at an advantage.
@jqubed I would agree accept the "scythe" he carries is not a scythe.
Can I just get a buncha migrant workers to do the fighting for me?
A kaiser blade. "Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it a kaiser blade. It's just a long handle, kind of like an axe handle, with a long blade on it shaped like a bananer. Mmhm."
@AnotherDawn I think that sounds like what I was about to call a cane knife. I'd wield one, mmhhmm.
Edit: after checking Google, you're right. Kaiser blade is what I incorrectly called a cane knife for years, thanks to my ex's dad. A cane knife is different.
Kaiser blade:
Cane knife:
Magic beans.
Grow a beanstalk and enlist the giant.
Bonus: Goose laying golden eggs
I'll take a combine harvester over any hand tool
Cummins F-350 Dually with AWD and a cowcatcher.
Unless I can't have that.
In that case, I'll take the ho'
Long handled sharp sickle (sometimes called a grass hook in the south and certainly not to be confused with a scythe, which is a total and complete bitch to swing anywhere above ankle level - I know from experience). Sickle may win over hay hook based on extended reach - but a hay hook is a nasty thing, especially antique hooks that are curved differently than modern ones.
Why my coyote rifle isn't an option though is beyond me, it is totally an implement IMHO.
@MrsPavlov Some folks call it a sling blade. Mmm... hmmm...
The hoe would be easiest to adapt to a proper pole arm; bend the neck 90° and you have a good bladed spear with three times the maneuverability of the shovel and a much smaller safe grabbing area at the business end than a pitchfork.
I guess the opponents matter, too: who or what am I trying to damage? How many allies, and am I picking for all of us together? What terrain are we defending or taking? There are scenarios that dramatically favor each improvised weapon over the others.
If you saw the characters from Quantum Vibe swing a shovel, you'd pick that too. :) http://www.quantumvibe.com/strip?page=485
A mattock. Hammer on one side and blade on the other.
@Bingo My choice as well. It's impossible not to feel like you're Gimli when using one.
@Bingo Nice choice, as a child I watched my father kill several large rodents (not rats) with a mattock. It's a brutal weapon.
Laul, silly town folk. A scythe might look cool, but it ain't no good for killin. Here, try this hatchet.
Shovel. I want my opponents to die a slow, painful death.
And then I'm all ready to bury them.
Or a shotgun.
I chose hatchet because I feel it gives me the most angles of attack.
kusarigama
A sword, after which will be pounded into a plowshare
Nobody messes with me when my hoes is nearby.
Hoe fo' sho.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
My g'ma used a pitchfork to kill a rampaging bull when she was a teen... good enough for me. Shovel is also a good choice. Blunt strike with the flat of the spade, can cut if you keep the spade edge sharp enough. Good handle for blocking and staff-like strikes, same as pitchfork.
Scythe wouldn't be very good in a fight. You'd leave yourself far too open to attack trying to use it, and it doesn't really have that great a reach since it swings instead of using a thrust.
The bale hook is wicked, but not the best if you don't down your opponent with the first strike or they have a reach weapon, or you don't wound enough to bleed them out quickly. The kusarigama is a good choice, but then a case could be made for most all of the Okinawan kobudo weapons, since they all originated as farming tools.
I am SO going with the Garden Weasel
