@ThatsHeadly If this analogy is supposed to correspond to a human restroom experience then I might suggest said human take a shower, use antibacterial soap on their entire body, then make a point to add more fiber to their diet.
@ThatsHeadly In my experience (having owned a bidet for >15 years now), Americans (men especially) tend to respond to the idea of a bidet with, “ew”.
I tell them, “Let’s talk about ‘ew’… After my first wipe, my wad of TP is wet, but there’s no ‘color’ on it. What does your first wipe wad look like? What about the third? Yeah… ‘ew’ indeed.”
Own one. Totally bought six of them. They seriously take like…15 minutes to install? After the initial shock of artic water hitting your butt, the sense of overall cleanliness and having that “shower fresh” feeling makes it far superior to anything else. You’ll likely end up saving money in the long run on toilet paper. No joke.
The electric ones are best. They heat the seat as well as the water. Keeps you from having that rude awakening when you hit the ceiling in the middle of the night. There is nothing like having a warm behind to put you back to sleep again.
My story for the comments: we’re shopping for houses, and there’s a place that’s above our range but the price has been dropping steadily. On a lark we decide to visit. In the large bathroom, a bidet. “Oh, a bidet!” I say. “I wonder if it works?” I ask. Keep in mind, despite being about 40 at the time, I had not used nor really grasped the fluid mechanics of a bidet.
I stand on its side and reach down to turn on the handle, and wow, does it work, shooting out a spray… right onto our Realtor, who was standing in front of the bidet. I apologized profusely, but never was that 3% more earned. And no, we did not buy “bidet house”.
I always appreciated the arguments for bidets from people who had them, but never thought my hygiene regimen was really lacking. I finally bought one a basic one from this site back in 2017, and I will never live in a home without one again.
For those nervous about installation: I can only speak for my model, but the whole process was:
Turn off water at the back of the toilet.
Flush the toilet to drain the tank.
Unscrew the water line from the tank (may need pliers, maybe not) and let the remaining water drain.
Attach the bidet end to the tank.
Attach the water line to the bidet end.
Turn on the water and check for leaks.
It’s all basic threaded connections. I just had to use regular pliers to loosen the initial connection and tighten the one from the wall to the bidet.
I’d be all over a fancier one, but I rent, so I can’t run the required electric/hot water lines.