@phendrick@yakkoTDI The weevils and their buckets are ferried to the fields by swarms of semi-autonomous laser-equipped drones, each carrying hundreds of the seven-bug collection squads. The drones drop off their squads, then hover and watch for weevils that make the mistake of trying to eat the boss’ oats, zapping them with the laser where they get out of line. When the supervisor weevils signal that the buckets are full, the drone descends and first drops a retrieval line to winch the buckets aboard, then a boarding ladder for the crews. It’s an impressive sight, but nowhere near as festive as the Swiss spaghetti harvest.
That’s what this stuff is for: people who can’t/don’t consume dairy but don’t want that fact to get in the way of their sweet tooth. Also, they’re for people who don’t want a whole bunch of sugar. Because these aren’t just dairy-free; they also don’t have any added sugar
So it’s not for people who want bizarre about-to-expire/expired food products on a discount website?
@markdoner@werehatrack mmmm, “organic” sunflower lecithin… still an emulsifier and still deleterious to the gut microbiome and the intestinal mucus layer while also being pro-inflammatory in the gut. Yum.
Why is it people pay more attention to the ingredients in their snack bars than they do to the qualifications of the politicians they vote into office to control our lives?
@phendrick Because if you don’t like the snack choices on the store shelf, you can whip up one that you like, for yourself, and not have to put up with what anybody else likes?
Let’s see: milk chocolate that’s dairy-free, sugar-free, gluten(?)-free, but apparently not chocolate-free. <pounds table> Damn it! What about those of us allergic to chocolate, paper wrappings, cardboard boxes, postage labels… air!!
@Kyeh Many years ago in England a restaurant listed Death By Chocolate as one of their deserts. It was a many, many layered chocolate cake. Both the cake and the frosting were very rich and moist. There were a dozen or more layers where a normal cake would have two or maybe four.
@blaineg It sounds like a dobosh torte? When I was a kid we lived in Reno for a few years, and the local Eagle Thrifty grocery store happened to have a formally trained pastry chef in their bakery. My mother was bringing home dobosh tortes, petit fours, and rum balls made with real rum!
Specs
Product: 24-Pack: Super Major Oat Milk Chocolate Bars
Model:
Condition: New
What’s Included?
Price Comparison
$83.84 for 24 at Amazon
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Monday, Jan 22 - Wednesday, Jan 24
How do they grab the tiny little teats on the oats?
@yakkoTDI They recruit undocumented oat weevils to do that.
@phendrick @yakkoTDI The weevils and their buckets are ferried to the fields by swarms of semi-autonomous laser-equipped drones, each carrying hundreds of the seven-bug collection squads. The drones drop off their squads, then hover and watch for weevils that make the mistake of trying to eat the boss’ oats, zapping them with the laser where they get out of line. When the supervisor weevils signal that the buckets are full, the drone descends and first drops a retrieval line to winch the buckets aboard, then a boarding ladder for the crews. It’s an impressive sight, but nowhere near as festive as the Swiss spaghetti harvest.
@phendrick @yakkoTDI Always choose the lesser of two weevils.
@blaineg @phendrick @yakkoTDI If you’re so broke that you can only lease two weevils, pretty much everything else is irrelevant.
@blaineg @phendrick @werehatrack @yakkoTDI The resale value of weevils is so poor that there is no point in buying them.
That’s a technically funny write up
Seconds to first question about the un-swipe-able obfuscated photos: 6, 5, 4, 3 …
Allulose provides the runiness?
*runniness
(Sorry, had too much allulose)
@2many2no
's ok, this stuff has definitely been ruined.
@2many2no @blaineg The ruininess is epic, yep.
So it’s not for people who want bizarre about-to-expire/expired food products on a discount website?
@zachdecker Someday I will learn not to buy food on Meh. Today is not that day.
@DLPanther @zachdecker You will rue the day that today was not that day…
Does that mean you will later rue today, and that today will be the day you learn not to buy bizarre food on meh?
Allulose? Fake sugar. "Safe if used in moderation, but more research is needed. " 2017. Eat too much and get the Hershey Squirts. Pass
@radi0j0hn Or in this case, the Super Major squirts
Organic sunflower lecithin brings them all and in the darkness binds them!
@markdoner Or, for some of us, loosens them distressingly.
@markdoner @werehatrack mmmm, “organic” sunflower lecithin… still an emulsifier and still deleterious to the gut microbiome and the intestinal mucus layer while also being pro-inflammatory in the gut. Yum.
@zachpennington For some of us, it’s not the only culprit here.
@zachpennington Totally negating any benefits provided to those who are lactose intolerant.
@zachpennington fecal fireworks!
@zachpennington Reference providing your odds of survival:
"Gastrointestinal Tolerance of D-Allulose in Healthy and Young Adults. "
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6315886/
Not sure I want that much carbon in my food. (I found a use for organic chemistry)
@hchavers CHON
Beyond that, it’s all just presentation.
“Do vegans deserve to enjoy milk chocolate?”
By definition no, because this is not milk chocolate.
They deserve the non-milk chocolate, which is what this is.
But what about my sugar craving?
Why is it people pay more attention to the ingredients in their snack bars than they do to the qualifications of the politicians they vote into office to control our lives?
@phendrick Because the snack bars can’t tell us what we want to hear.
@phendrick Because “no snack bar” is one of the available options, and so is “a decent snack bar”.
@phendrick because few of us ever have a politician in our mouth?
@phendrick Because if you don’t like the snack choices on the store shelf, you can whip up one that you like, for yourself, and not have to put up with what anybody else likes?
Meh. No one has mentioned the dog snout in the background? Please investigate.
Dog snout? Look again – that is clearly a disgruntled member of a bovine union.
Let’s see: milk chocolate that’s dairy-free, sugar-free, gluten(?)-free, but apparently not chocolate-free. <pounds table> Damn it! What about those of us allergic to chocolate, paper wrappings, cardboard boxes, postage labels… air!!
Oh, what the hell.
/giphy jolly-fluffy-gala
No.
No chocolaty, no chocolateness, etc.
Give me chocolate or give me death.
Oooh, yes, death by chocolate.
@blaineg “Chocolate liquor”
is real chocolate, though.
@Kyeh Ok, there are many things wrong with this, but that’s not one of them.
@blaineg
I’ve got a chocolate fountain I could sell you!
@Kyeh Many years ago in England a restaurant listed Death By Chocolate as one of their deserts. It was a many, many layered chocolate cake. Both the cake and the frosting were very rich and moist. There were a dozen or more layers where a normal cake would have two or maybe four.
I didn’t die, but it was amazing!
@Kyeh
@blaineg It sounds like a dobosh torte? When I was a kid we lived in Reno for a few years, and the local Eagle Thrifty grocery store happened to have a formally trained pastry chef in their bakery. My mother was bringing home dobosh tortes, petit fours, and rum balls made with real rum!
@blaineg Oh no!!! I hope someone rescued that silly bird!
(Edit: Oh, I guess it’s not real …)
Do not ruin chocolate with this fake pretend stuff. I want my chocolate as God intended it with real milk, real sugar, and real cocoa.
I’m just mad because I can’t see the smexy Oat Milking video…
BOO!